Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep 65

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Today’s your lucky day, folks. It’s a double post kind of day. I was going to write about our trip last night after the boys were in bed. I just didn’t have it in me, though. I got’er done today, though. And since today is Thursday, ’round here it’s also known as Questionday, there are some questions to ask. Let’s see what their creative minds come up with today.

Here we go again…

1.What was your favorite part of our trip?

Crash: Probably shopping and the Body Museum
Bang: The Body museum… No! Everything!

2. What was your favorite part of Body World RX?

Crash: The hearts and the smoking part
Bang: The guy split right down in half so we could see his brain

3. If you could give one gift to every child in the world, what would you give them?

Crash: A shelter and lots of money
Bang: Diggers

4. What do you want to be famous for?

Crash: Playing video games or collecting Pokemon
Bang: Painting (I’m already famous for that because I paint a lot)

5. What does your name mean?

Crash: Awesomeness
Bang: Truck

6. What three words best describe you?

Crash: Funny, Cool, Good looking
Bang: Smart, Awesome, Gangsta

7. Did anything make you laugh today?

Crash: Yeah, my friend at lunch kept making ridiculous faces
Bang: Yeah, when me and my brother were wrestling, he took me down and I giggled

8. Did you help anyone today?

Crash: I helped my friend because she accidentally knocked over her pencil case and everything exploded onto the floor.
Bang: No, because no one needed help.

9. If you could choose a new name for yourself, what name would you pick?

Crash: Pickachu
Bang: Logan

10. What food would make the grossest ice cream flavor?

Crash: Ham
Bang: Strawberry, orange, chocolate chips, lemon with vanilla ice cream

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Life With A Good Pair of Socks

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So much can be said for a good pair of socks. Like people, they come in so many varieties. All the colors of the world. Short, tall, and every size in between. Some are fuzzy. Some aren’t. Some are thick and some are thin. There are thermal socks to keep you warm and barely there socks to keep you cool. There are even socks with capes.

Anyone who knows me even a little bit, knows I love socks. I’ve never met a pair socks I won’t wear. Stripes or polka dots. Adorned with candy canes or cows. Toe socks that fit like a glove. To me, there is no such thing as an ugly pair of socks.

They are down there tucked into shoes and covered by the legs of jeans and yoga pants minding their own business. They keep us from getting blisters. They sacrifice themselves all in the name of our health. Sometimes they get holes. Sometimes they stink.

Many times they lose their mate in the wash. Poor things with no sole mate. It’s heartbreaking. However, if you enjoy mismatched socks, your socks are never without a mate. There’s someone for everyone.

Sometimes a pair of socks comes into your life and you just know they are going to be in your life for a long time. They are strong socks. They feel good in your hands and even better on your feet. They are like the comfort of a best friend.

If you caught my post last year, Life’s Too Short to Waste Time Matching Socks, you know that I don’t believe in matching socks. A sock company from Sweden found that post and sent me a pair of their socks. They asked me if they could send me socks! For free! (if I wrote about them). The only thing better than socks are free socks.

I must say I was a bit skeptical at first. However, they shipped right away and ten days later I had my first pair of socks from Sockamore. After browsing their colorful website, I was expecting something funky. Especially, since the post they saw had me wearing knee high mismatched socks – one striped, one polka dotted. The socks they sent were of your basic variety. Black with some multi-colored stripes. I can dress them up. I can dress them down. What caught my attention (and DW’s) was the feel of them. They feel well made. I highly doubt I’ll wear through them any time soon. It’s a great way to add a little bit of flair to an outfit. Check out Socamore, they amore socks way amore than me. Pick out a couple pair while you’re there so you can mismatch them. Life’s too short to spend time matching socks.

For more fun find me on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

The Daily Elf: December 19th

Less than a week away…

Our Christmas concerts are over (more on that later).

Woody and Elfis, like most days, spent the day hanging out. Today they were literally hanging out. They set up a zipline and had some fun in the kitchen zipping back and forth. They performed a few tricks for us, too.

The Daily Elf: December 10th

Just another day of hanging out in the basement. Elfis sat on a lamp I got from my grandmother. Woody sat upon the 4 foot sword my parents gave to me. They’ve been very well behaved so far. However, we are now just two weeks from Christmas Eve so I sense some mischief coming. I wonder how big of a mess they’ll make?

Then Bang thought they looked really hungry so he brought them each a bowl full of goldfish. It’s the snack that smiles back, just like the elves. Turns out they were indeed hungry as they ate nearly the whole bowl…

Halloween Hangover

Day 6 of 7 days. 7 Black and White Photos of your life. No people or explanation.
Thanks A Momma’s View for nominating me for this challenge!


So my belly doesn’t ache and I’m not hungover from Halloween or in a diabetic coma from all the sugar (not to worry, I’m not diabetic, either). Thankfully, trick-or-treating was a success this year. Last year? Bang made it, literally, three houses up the street and was ready to come home. If you don’t remember, seriously, go read it. It was an extreme trial in patience. It was so extreme it should make it into the X-Games next year.

This year’s buzz topic was on an age restriction for trick-or-treaters. I was so happy to hear of neighbors who passed out candy to the high school kids who had donned costumes and were out begging for free candy. The best argument I heard was,

At least they’re not causing trouble!

The buzz topic I kept hearing and reading in the media was more about offensive costumes. Many people think that using cultural costumes is a no-no. I was going to write a satirical piece where all the animals found Human’s costumes offensive, but I either didn’t have the time or didn’t remember. I forget which.

We had an alien and a skeleton. They collected quite a haul, too. We were pleased to see the dentist was giving out toothbrushes and toothpaste. Just like last year, I’m envoking a pretty stiff “Dad Tax”, too. They will be taxed without representation. Should you see all their candy floating in Boston Harbor, you’ll know their revolt has begun. However, they like their chocolate and chips so much that they are willing to give me some of it in order to save the rest. Bang has even given his away to other people (the school custodians and a parent we always see at the ice rink).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some tax collecting to do while we catch up on a few shows (The Good Doctor and This Is Us and Gold Rush)

Alien, Skeleton, and Nanny

Alien, Skeleton, and Nanny…

21 Questions I Asked My Wife

I highly encourage you ask your spouse these questions. The laughs you get will make it well worth it. I’m not even sure where I found these, but here they are for your enjoyment (and mine). 

Q: Would you rather I be completely hairless or as hairy as a gorilla?
A: Completely hairless

Q: What actress would play you in a movie about your life?
A: Katie Holmes (or Emilia Clarke or Megan Fox if Katie isn’t available)

Q: Who would play your love interest (aka, me) in a movie about your life?
A:  Kelly Slater or 
Howie Mandel or Billy Zane (from The Titanic) (she also named Mr. Magoo)

Q: Would you rather our children grow up to be 8 feet tall or 3 feet tall?
A: 8 feet tall

Q: If you had to go a week without your phone, what would you miss the most about it?
A: Wunderlist (our grocery/to do list)

Q: What do you like most that I do in bed?
A: Scratch my head

Q: What was your first impression of me? Did you ever dislike me?
A: My first thought was “Wow, he’s really short.” and “Why’s he’s wearing a trench coat?”

Q: What’s your favorite memory of our wedding day?
A: Seeing how excited you were when the bagpiper piped us into our reception

Q: If you woke up tomorrow as a man, what would be the first three things you’d do?
A: Stratch my junk, play with my junk, and pee standing up

Q: Would you rather use whipped cream or hot fudge?
A: Depends on what we’re using it for… 

Q: What do you think is your best physical feature?
A: My smile

Q: What do you think is my best physical feature?
A: Your bum

Q: If you could be on any reality TV show, which one would it be?
A: Gold Rush so I could drive a bulldozer or a big digger

Q: Have you ever obsessed over anything? (toys, movies, projects, people, problems)
A: New Kids on the Block

Q: What were your nicknames growing up, including the ones you didn’t want to stick?
A: Smurfette, Shit-heels, Pissy-Liz, Bimp, Boo, Snugglebum

Q: If I let you dress me, what would I wear on our next date?
A: Dark jeans, brown shoes, and a nice button up shirt (she knows I hate brown shoes)

Q: Would you ever role play in bed?
A: Yes.

Q: Yoga pants or skirts?
A: Yoga pants

Q: What song would you sing for your audition on The Voice?
A: As I Lay Me Down by Sophie B. Hawkins or The First Cut Is the Deepest by Sheryl Crow

Q: Is there a food that reminds you of me?
A: Hearty Chicken Bake

Q: Is there a memory you have or me that always makes you laugh?
A: Holey underwear

The Daily Elf

Oh sure, they look innocent enough, but we all know what they were doing when we weren’t looking. Those marshmallows were most definitely being thrown around. Though I am surprised they didn’t build any snowmen or igloos. Perhaps that comes later…

Not too mischievous, but certainly could have been.

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On Cookies and Chance Encounters

Nanny gave the boys some Halloween cookies last weekend. They weren’t your normal cookie though; they were undecorated and came with all the tricks to decorate them yourself. 

I divided the cookies. I divided the icing and sprinkles and candy spheres. Then I let them work  play. And play they did. Bang’s spheres were rolling away and Crash laughed when I told Bang to grab his balls.

I wanted to step in and help. 
I wanted to step in and tell Bang that not all of the icing goes right in the middle.
I wanted to step in get him to spread the icing. 
I wanted to step in and make him decorate the cookies in a recognizable way.

These weren’t my cookies. They weren’t mine to decorate. They contained the mess to the cookie sheets so I kept my sound hole shut. They weren’t yelling at each other. They weren’t fighting over stupid, mundane things. They weren’t annoying each other just for the sake of pissing each other off. They weren’t driving their parents absolutely mental.

They were complimenting each other’s decorations. They were speaking kindly to one another. They were asking politely for what they needed from each other. Afterward they even shared their cookies with each other and with their lucky mom and dad. Bang gave away 2 of his own cookies. OF HIS OWN ACCORD! 

These cookies are magic. I need to buy more of these magic cookies. They tasted pretty good, too. Good enough to eat.

On another note…

DW saw a few postings on FB that there was a whale sighting just five minutes down the road from us (the whale was in the strait, not on the road). We grabbed the kids, grabbed the camera, and took off. There were some porposes playing nearby. Many dozens of them. They were a joy to watch, but they were farther off shore and tough to see clearly. However, it was a chance sighting on several other accounts. We have seen whales in this area before, but they were pilot whales, also called blackfish. This time it was a humpback whale. We were thrilled to see his white fin. You can imagine our surprise then when we saw him breach. He would rocket straight up out of the water, flop over and splash a splash equal to that of Bang in the tub. In DW’s nearly 40 years of living here, she’s never see the likes of a whale breaching in this area. It was amazing to watch as he breached 3-4 more times. DW snapped a few shots, but with the humpback being far away, they turned out blurry. However, a gentleman nearby got some great shots.

©Rob Smith

Incredible…

Sunday Funday Share

Hope everyone is having (or had) an awesome weekend! You are awesome, therefore your weekend was awesome. There. You’ve been told. Now go forth and be awesomer!

Oh. And read these blogs.

Midlife Margaritas
Ugh… it’s never ending!

Scary Mommy
Not  raising a-holes

Who is my favorite today?
What would you say to Jesus if he called?

Where Are Your Pants?
Back in the day we could have nice stuff…

Wonderoak
What DO SAHM do all day, anyway?

If you’re tired of reading you can watch my latest YouTubes… Questions I Asked My Kids or our Hike to the 25′ waterfall

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