Go Ask Your Father: Tetanus, Climate, Probiotics, and Poop

My Orioles are just 49.5 games back from first place. I’ve seen better games from little leaguers. I got a new ball glove for my birthday and I’m tempted to try out. I think they need my help. in 1911 they lost 111 games that season. With just 37 more losses, they can tie that record. There are 43 games left so don’t count them out yet.

Now, if you’ll excuse us, it’s hot and we have a friend with a pool before we leave for Crash’s ball game that is over an hour away. Happy Tuesday (or here, aka Garbage Day) everyone!

1. What is a tetanus shot for?

It’s for the wound you’re about receive from swinging around that piece of wood that has two nails rustier than the Oriole’s bats (they’re currently 49 games back). This where the can of worms was opened. Does it hurt? How much does it hurt? What’s tetanus? My goal is to always answer their questions has honestly, simply as possible, and sufficiently enough to not raise more questions. I failed miserably here. Tetanus is caused by bacteria found in dirt and animal poop. This bacteria forms spores that are highly immune to heat and drugs. They are the Jason Borne of the bacteria world. Tetanus causes painful muscles contractions, often in the jaw and neck. Imagine labor contractions in your face. No thanks. I’ll pass. And there’s no cure for it. You may need to be put on life support until the disease runs its course. Lesson? Keep your tetanus vaccine up to date.

2. What is climate?

It’s that thing a certain president and his following of “deniers” don’t believe in. Though, to be fair they don’t believe that it’s changing. Canada is known for it’s cold weather. However, for the past six weeks we’ve had little rain and temperatures in the 90’s. For two weeks the temps were near or over 100F! Soon there will be palm trees and coconuts in Nova Scotia. Anyway, climate is different from weather in that weather is the day to day forecast while climate is over a longer period of time. Neil DeGrass Tyson has a great two minute explanation here. As the climate changes, so does the weather. There’s so much that can be effected and none of it is particularly good. Colder temperatures in winter mean less snow which means less ground water. Warmer temperatures mean more sickness. It could mean longer droughts. Worse floods. Stronger hurricanes. Melting ice caps and warmer oceans. Anyone who has had to flush a pet fish knows how sensitive fish can be to water temperature change.

3. What are probiotics?

They are biotics that get paid for what they do. They are pros. Like the NFL, NHL, MLB, MLS, NBA, and teachers. In the world of good guys and bad guys, probiotics are the superheroes. Captain America: Civil War was really about the microorganisms in our guts duking it out with the E. coli. These healthy, live bacteria keep our immune system strong and our digestive tract clean. In our time of antibiotics and antibacterial soaps and lotions, we also need to remember that we’re killing the good guys too. Imagine the Avengers fighting Thanos then Superman and Batman swoop in and just kill everyone.

4. Why’s my poop green.

Yellow, let it mellow. Brown flush it down. But what if it’s green? When you are summoned to the bathroom by a seven year old (or younger) it could be for any number of reason. This time it was see the color of poop. I didn’t take a picture, but believe me when I tell you it was the color of Crayola’s meadow green. This happened to us once before when we ate cookies made by Crayola. They came out the same color they went in. Anyway, Bang’s poop wasn’t green from eating too many leafy greens, I can promise you that. It was also wasn’t caused by anal fissures. So it must have just been a hiccup in his digestive tract somewhere. The most likely culprit is that his intestines moved the food along too quickly resulting in the bile pigment not being broken down in the stool to its normal brown color. Either way, it was nothing to lose our shit over so we just laughed and flushed it down.

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Questions I Asked My Kids: The Rorschach Edition

Here’s something a little different. The Rorschach test. Administered to my two kids. Before you scroll down to their answers, take a look at them yourself first. See what you can see then compare it to what they saw. Then after you read their perspectives, see if you can see what they saw.

And when you’re done looking at these inkblots, check out my pictures on Instagram. (Follow me for completely-made-up-imaginary bonus points)

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Crash: I see a castle with windows. I also see a three eyed monster eating an apple.

Bang: It looks like a tank with dots all over it. It also looks like a big scorpion monster.

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Crash: I see what looks like two dog heads with a butterfly or some sort of bug in the middle

Bang: It looks like a monster with four eyes.

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Crash: It looks like a pirate ship. Or a face with a Ninja Turtle mask. I also see a super tall Batman that has a mask that’s way to big for his face.

Bang: It looks like a pirate ship. Or a space ship shooting missiles.

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Crash: I see five faces. And what looks like an animal of some sort. Like a horse.

Bang: It looks like two goldfish swimming away from a monster that shot cannonballs.

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Crash: I looks like a giant with a boomerang in each hand and he’s sitting on a stool.

Bang: Looks like a transformer that transforms into an 18 wheeler that has rockets to make it fly and fire coming out of it.

Questions I Asked My Kids

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See more photos on my Twitter

This may be the longest day in the northern hemisphere, but this is the shortest list of questions to date.

We’ve been busy. Today DW and I chaperoned a field trip of 45 5th graders to The highland Village. It’s a living museum representing about 150 years of Scottish history, covering the time just before they moved to Cape Breton Island to the Mid 1900’s. It was great to talk to people in character, ask questions and see just how much life changed for them over that time. From cooking over an open fire in the middle of their dirt floor stone hut to a cast iron wood stove that closely resembles today’s stoves. The kids were interested and were asking all kinds of questions.

My favorite question was asked of a character in the stone hut who represented a time around 1800 in the Highlands of Scotland. “Do you know what Fortnite is?” Without missing a beat the character, a lady, responded with, “It’s a measure of time, 2 weeks.” It was great to see them stay in character.

1. What are three things you want to do this summer?
Crash: Make YouTube videos, visit cousins, and have my birthday
Bang: Go to the beach, play with the sprinkler on the trampoline, and sleep

2. What’s something to do this summer that we’ve never done before?
Crash: Play the FortNite laser tag
Bang: Fly on a plane

3. What would be the funniest gift to give Crash for his birthday?
Crash: Toilet paper and pile of poo
Bang: Poop in a bag and put it in a present box!

4. We are going to start a new country, what should we name it?
Crash: Rhymania
Bang: Afflick

5. What would be the first law we make in our new country?
Crash: Technology must be used at all times
Bang: You’re only allowed to speak with a British accent.

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Go Ask Your Father: Circles, Diamonds, Electricity, and Boobs

Today we host a birthday party. I love parties. Mostly because I love playing with all the kids. However, there’s one aspect of the party I don’t quite understand. The treat bag at the end. Who invented this nonsense? At no other party do we give our guests a loot bag afterwards. I understand it’s kind of a thank you for coming to my birthday party and bringing a present. However, we just provided entertainment, food, drinks, and cake. We provide a treat bag at the end, but, in your opinion, is it necessary?

What’s the difference between a circle and an ellipse?

First, do you know how farmers make circular fields so perfect? They use a protractor! To truly understand the difference between these two flat, round shapes it helps to understand how they’re made. To make a circle, you need one center point and a line around it that is the same distance away from that point all the way around. To make an ellipse, you need two points, neither of which is in the center. They’re called foci. Every point along the line of a circle is the same distance from the center as every other point. However, in an ellipse, every point on the line is the same distance as the sum of the distances to the foci. And if you say foci enough it sounds like you forgot how to swear properly.

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What’s the difference between a rhombus and diamond?

What girl wants a 2 carat rhombus engagement ring? Bang had been studying shapes in class. Hence the reason for the shape questions today.  It’s how you tell a vet from a noob. In elementary school, to keep things simple, kids call everything that’s not a square or rectangle a diamond. If it has straight sides, whether they’re all the same length or not, and no right angles (all left angles, haha) it must be a diamond. A rhombus is a special kind of parallelogram (shape with opposite sides that are parallel). A rhombus has all sides the same length like a square, but none of its angles are 90 degrees. Its opposite angles are equal though. Also, if you draw lines connecting its opposite angles, they will form a right angle in the center. Here is a really neat website where you can play with a rhombus. Diamond, however, is more of a vague term. The sides of a diamond don’t have to be parallel or equal, similar to a kite. It just needs to not have right angles or form right angles when a line is drawn between opposite corners. Both a rhombus and a diamond know that it’s hip to be square.

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How does a magnet go through a wire to make electricity?

I’m sorry. I can’t look at that GIF without giggling like 7th grader. If you know anything about electrons you’ll know they typically move randomly, much like the AD/HD kid with no meds. I know this, because I have one. However, in magnets, they don’t move randomly, they all move the same direction. Sort of, anyway. The north end electrons spin one direction and the south end spins the other. This is why opposite poles attract. Anyway, when a magnet moves through a coil of wire it drags the electrons in the wire with it. We all know when electrons flow we get electricity. If you use an ammeter (like in that funny GIF) you can see which direction the electricity is flowing. Also, you can see why it’s called an alternating current.

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 Do your boobs stay off forever?

If you’re caught up on the previous episodes of Go Ask Your Father, you’ll know that DW went for a mammogram. It has since come back clear. However, at the time of the appointment a certain 6 year old (turning 7 tomorrow) was full of questions. First it was  “What’s a mammogram?” Last week featured “What if they find cancer?”. The answer to that was double mastectomy, which then had to be explained that essentially means she’ll have her boobs cut off. Which leads us to this week’s question. Yes, they will stay off forever. There’s no boob transplant. There’s no removing the cancer and putting them back on. Ain’t no way she’s going to be breast feeding with them any more. However, we have come across some fun alternatives ranging from implants to tattoos. We’d miss them, of course, but we’d rather have a boobless mom than the alternative.

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Questions I Asked My Kids: The #MyDadChallenge

I invite you to take the #MyDadChallenge. Ask your kids these simple 10 questions and then post them and tag me so I can share them, too. Thanks Dorky Mom for the idea!

Father’s Day is just around the corner. This year, I get to celebrate it with Bang. Not because he’s a dad, too, but because it’s his birthday. That will get a post of it’s own. Today is an early shout out to all the Fathers out there. More importantly, it’s a shout out to the Dad’s. Any man can be father. The special ones get called dad. Happy Early Dad’s Day to my dad, my step-dad-in-law, and my dad-in-law smiling/laughing down at us.

1. My dad is _____ years old and weighs _____ pounds.

Crash: 40; 190
Bang: Practically 42 years old; 62 pounds

2. My dad is good at cooking _____ and is not so good at cooking _____.

Crash: Pancakes and waffles; Doughboys
Bang: Lasagna; Nothing

3. If my dad were a superhero, his name would be ______ and his superpower would be _____.

Crash: Stomperdad; use the force
Bang: Superdad; Flying and punching and kicking and shooting lasers out of his eyes.

4. And if my dad were a villain, his name would be ______ and he would use his evil powers to _____.

Crash: Bad Dad; Take over the world
Bang: DadBagGuy; Kill goodness

5. I love it when my dad______.

Crash: Says yes.
Bang: Plays 10 minutes (a tickle game)

6. When my dad is driving, he_________.

Crash: Sort of pays attention
Bang: Is not a maniac

7. I like it when my dad _______ and I don’t like it when my dad _________.

Crash: Dies in Fortnite; limits my screen time
Bang: Goes on the trampoline; sits on me and tickles me

8. My dad does not like to _______.

Crash: Clean
Bang: Clean up messes

9. My dad does ________ the best and _________ the worst.

Crash: Waking me up; letting me stay up late
Bang: cooking; not letting his kids do anything

10. I’m thankful for my dad because ___________.

Crash: He give me shelter, and food, etc…
Bang: puts my hat on backwards.

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Also, thanks for getting my head out of that concrete block

Questions I Asked My Kids: This or That

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Thanks to Laura at Riddle from the Middle for this week’s questions. She snagged them from Wanderings of an Elusive Mind. I modified a few of the questions to fit the kids. This week the boys have just two choices. It’s time to see how different these two really are. Though if you’ve read any of the previous 70 Questions I Asked My Kids you already know how different they are. Like waffles and chicken. Like cats and cucumbers. Like… well, like two boys from the same two parents.

YouTube or TV? 

Crash: YouTube
Bang: YouTube

Cookies or ice cream?

Crash: Cookies
Bang: Ice cream

Popsicle or Freezy?  

Crash: Popsicle
Bang: Popsicle

Tablet or cell phone?

Crash: Cell phone
Bang: Tablet

Cake or pie?  

Crash: Pie
Bang: I don’t like pie so cake

Big party or small gathering? 

Crash: Big party
Bang: Big party

Rich friend or loyal friend?

Crash: Loyal friend
Bang: Loyal friend

Baseball or Soccer?

Crash: Baseball
Bang: Soccer

What’s worse: Putting away laundry or dishes?  

Crash: Dishes
Bang: Laundry

Hiking or biking?

Crash: Biking
Bang: I hate hiking because it’s too much walking and I hate biking because I get too tired. I go for biking, I guess, because it’s more fun than walking.

Sneakers or Crocs? 

Crash: Sneakers
Bang: Sneakers

Milk or Juice?

Crash: Juice
Bang: Milk

Couch or chair?  

Crash: Couch
Bang: Chair

Mom drive or dad drive?

Crash: Dad drive
Bang: Mom drive

Blue or Red?

Crash: Blue
Bang: Blue

Beach or camping? 

Crash: Camping, I think. Maybe.
Bang: Totally camping

Toilet paper: over or under?

Crash: Over
Bang: Over

Pancake or waffle?

Crash: Waffle
Bang: Waffle

Coke or Pepsi?

Crash: Coke. No Wait! Pepsi. Aren’t they like the same thing?
Bang: Pepsi

Plastic cup or glass?

Crash: Glass
Bang: Glass

Bedtime or wake up time?

Crash: Wake up time
Bang: Wake up time

Summer or winter?

Crash: Summer
Bang: Summer because THE BEACH!

International travel or New TV?

Crash: International travel
Bang: International travel

Save or spend?

Crash: Spend! No, wait. Save because I’m saving for an iPad
Bang: Save

Kind or smart?

Crash: Kind
Bang: Smart. No wait, kind because I’m already smart.

Inside or outside?  .

Crash: Outside
Bang: Inside

TV or book? 

Crash: Probably TV. Not to say I don’t like books, but I prefer TV.
Bang: Book

Ocean or mountains?

Crash: Ocean
Bang: Mountains.

The score? 16 same answers, 12 different. Alike enough to be called brothers, different enough to fight about it.

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Go Ask Your Father: Helicopters, Peppercorns, CCs, and Cancer

Welcome to the weekend! While that might mean 2 days without work, there is still plenty of homework to be done. Have you seen the mess of my kitchen? Painting is a nightmare! Are your kids as needy as mine? Dad. Dad. Dad! Mum. Mum. Mum! Look at this. Watch me. Did you see me? Sometimes I’d like to tell them to go swim in shark infested water wearing a meat suit. Unfortunately, we don’t have either sharks or a meat suit.

How fast do helicopter blades go?

Really fast. Or about the same speed at which kids will touch wet paint after you have told them not to touch the wet paint. There is a ton of math in engineering and piloting a helicopter. And not that easy math either. This is fancy, harder than high school math. Sin and Cos and velocities and fuel consumption equations. It looks like art, but it’s math. Different helicopters have a different rotor rpm. Also, a helicopter will adjust it’s rpm to fit its needs. Weight, speed, wind speed, and temperature will effect its rpm. For the sake of this question and the satisfaction of a 10 year old, helicopter blades spin anywhere from 250 to 600 rpm.

Where do peppercorns come from?

piper_nigrum_fruits-200x300Funny enough they come from the exact same place as eggs and milk – the grocery store. Did you know peppercorn is a fruit? Once upon a time it was a luxury and only available to the wealthy. In Once Upon A Time, I would not have had the luxury of having peppercorn. Peppercorns come from a peppercorn plant. Go figure! In the science community it’s known as piper nigrum. Native to India, they are grown around the world now. The different colors are produced by preserving the pod at different stages of ripeness or by using either the whole pod or its inner seed. You can get black, green, white, and red peppercorns. Pink peppercorns come from an entirely different plant not related to piper nigrum. Pepper is an antioxidant and antibacterial. It is also a carminative meaning it helps prevent intestinal gas. And that’s nothing to sneeze about.

What does cc mean?

In our house it could mean chocolate capacity. My face can hold 350 CCs of chocolate. I know because I measured. In email, however, it means Carbon Copy from the ancient days of using carbon paper to replicate documents. Sadly, this question has nothing to do with chocolate or email, though. When playing Mario Kart the races are divided up by CCs – 50, 100, 150, and 200. The higher the CCs, the faster the karts go. This is because CCs stands for Cylinder Capacity, or more scientific and mathematical it means Cubic Centimeters. Cylinder capacity = cubic centimeter. Therefore, the larger the cylinder the more gas it can take in. The more gas intake it has, the more it’s explosive force and therefore more energy. My kids have 97,000 CCs. This holds true with real life vehicles, too. CCs are also used to measure medicine. I’m sure you’ve heard on plenty of doctor dramas (yay for Grey’s Anatomy and The Good Doctor) to give a patience x number of CCs of a fancy medicine name. CCs are equivalent to milliliters (mL). CC should also be written in lower case (ccs) but I used upper case to help differentiate it. Plus, I’m not a doctor.

What happens if they find cancer?

Remember last week when the boys were asking about breast cancer because DW was going for her annual boob flattening check up? Well, we’re not done talking about boobs yet. According to lexicographer, Jonathon Green, there are at least 212 synonyms for female breasts. He would know, he wrote the most comprehensive dictionary of slang. I guess that makes him the human version of Urban Dictionary. Anyway, DW had swift response to this question. There was no thinking about what would happen should she discover she has breast cancer. I support her as much as her favorite bra. She will have it/them removed. Mastectomy. The end. You can guess down in the comments what they asked about after this answer.

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Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep 69

It’s little Friday also known as Thursday. It’s kind of like being Friday’s little sibling. The boys have touched wet paint no less than four times today. They were given explicit instruction to stay out of the kitchen. It’s getting a new color. Eucalyptus green. I fully expect hungry koalas to show up any time. We’re on phase two of the kitchen makeover. We repainted the ceiling for phase one. Phase three will be to paint the cupboards. The boys want their rooms painted, too. That’ll be phase four and five. Follow me on the Insta to track our progress. You’ll even find DW climbing on the counters! And here I was hollering at the kids to get down!

1. What animal would be fun to shrink to the size of a dog?

Crash: A whale
Bang: Elephant

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2. What animal would be fun to grow to the size of a dog?

Crash: An Ant
Bang: A mouse

3. What ice cream flavor do you wish someone would invent?

Crash: Dragon’s breath
Bang: M&M, Caromilk, Chocolate bar ice cream with spaghetti

4. How many kids do you wish mom and dad would have?

Crash: 2
Bang: I’m not sure you would like this but 18. 8 girls and 10 boys.

5. Tell me a joke.

Crash: Why can’t you write with a broken pencil? It’s pointless.
Bang: What’s the car behind the engine of the train? The Coal car. What is coal? “Tender and Chooosy!” (tender because that’s what a coal car is called and choosy instead of juicy)

6. What three things does a parent need to be?

Crash: Kind, loving, and patient
Bang: Grown up, a hero, and, a mother and father

7. What are you most scared of?

Crash: Death.
Bang: A haunted house. That’s the only thing I’m legitly scared of.

8. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Crash: Working at Hasbro making Beyblades
Bang: Dog washer, and a builder.

9. What would be a cool job for dad to have?

Crash: Astronaut
Bang: A train engineer

10. Did you have any dreams?

Crash: Me and some of my friends had a beyblade arena from the show and had third evolution beyblades and we were having a battle royale.

Bang: Mario Bros! Remember when I dropped the tablet down the stairs, I was pretending Mario dropped it and the screen turned green. Then the whole world turned green! Then it said “The End”

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Feel free to orgasm the day away!

Go Ask Your Father: Fans, Vibrators, Trampoline Physics, and Boobs

Amen Halleluja! It’s Friday! Here in Canadaland it’s a long weekend. Victoria Day and all. And Prince Harry is getting married. Do you have your recorders set to record? I know some who have their recorders set to record EVERY channel airing The Wedding. A teacher arrived at school today dressed as if she were invited to the wedding. It was great!

Now lets get this weekend started!

How do fans cool us off?

Fans make us cool by cheering loudly for us. The cooler we are the louder they cheer. My fans are willing to holler down aisle six of the local grocery store, “Hi! Mr. Wood!” Of course I holler back. But he wasn’t talking about those kinds of fans or that kind of cool. When moving air hits you, whether it’s a fan or the wind or a kid running by at mach 2.3, the wind will feel cooler than nonmoving air. As the air zips by your skin it grabs tiny particles of moisture like a boy stealing a cookie out of your hand. Not wanting to be stolen by itself, the moisture takes a bit of heat with it because it takes energy to turn from the liquid on your skin to a gas in the air. This energy comes in the form of heat. You feel this loss of heat as coolness. This is why you feel colder getting out of the shower, pool, lake, pond, ocean, or mud puddle. As the water evaporates off your skin it takes heat with it on a date to make a cloud. If only I could achieve Ryan Reynolds coolness this way.

How do cell phones vibrate?

By getting a call, email, Twitter or Instagram notification. But what makes it buzz and

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shiver and vibrate like it’s trying Zumba for the first time? A motor, but not any regular motor you find in your Harley. This tiny motor is only one centimeter long. When it receives it’s electrical signal it spins a shaft on which is an offset weight. Offset here means that it’s lopsided, like my friend’s head. So it’s heavier on one side than the other. Therefore, when it spins it shakes like a Big Wheel on a cobble stone road. This kind of motor creates a vibration in 360 degrees as the weight spins around the shaft.

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The other kind of vibrator your phone might be equipped with is small but powerful. Size doesn’t matter, right? This motor works in much the same way as a shaft vibrator, by spinning an off center mass. However, haptic motors create linear (side to side) vibrations as it’s just a disk that spins. Imagine a record (LP?)(vinyl?)(giant black CD) that has one side shaved off. Now imagine spinning it 17,000 rpms. All this about shafts and vibrators reminds me of Buzz and Woody. (from the movie!)

How do you launch us on the trampoline?

The boys love it when I join them on the trampoline. However, I’ve discovered I’m exactly I-can-only-jump-for-a-half-hour years old. Not to brag, but I am a good launcher though. According to Bang, I’m a better launcher than Crash. I think it’s because my ass weighs about fifty (WTH? Only 50?) more than he does. There is a bit of science happening and I find it rather interesting. There is a lot of fancy math about elastic energy, but I’ll leave that out of this post. It’s certainly not what I’m thinking about while I’m jumping. Imagine shooting your spouse with a rubber band elastic. If you were wise you’ll only pull the elastic back a little bit so it flies gently. If you’re a glutton for punishment you’ll haul back on the elastic, let it fly, then run like hell. The more tension you put on it, the more potential energy you give it. Therefore, the more potential energy it has the more it transforms to kenetic when you let it go. The same thing happens on the trampoline, though it happens vertically as opposed to horizontally like the elastic. My extra 50 pounds gives the trampoline more potential energy as my weight pushes down harder. If I time my landing just right, I get the mat at it’s maximum tension at the exact same time as 50 pound Bang lands. Then he’s launched skyward with three times the amount of energy that he could have given it by himself. Or 50 pounds more force than if his brother had launched him.

Why do you have to get your boobs checked?

Bang is a boob man. He loves to demonstrate that he is exactly boob height to his mother. That’s a good height to be. Obviously, this question was not directed at me. Though men are not immune to breast cancer, either. Which sort of answers the question. DW left for her mammogram appointment a half hour before we left for school and the boys thought it strange. Naturally, it triggered many more questions which will make their debut in the coming weeks. Breast cancer occurs when malignant tumors form either in the cells of the lobules (the milk producing glands) or the ducts (the passages leading from the lobules to the nipple. If left undetected it will spread to underarm lymph nodes. For cancer cells, the lymph nodes are a highway to the rest of the body. Annual screening tests are ideal for catching it early. So no matter if you’re A cup or DD cup, go get checked. Or get you’re hubby to. He’d be a fool to turn that chore. By the way, no cancer has been detected in DW since she start doing annual mammograms.

  • According to BreastCancer.org 1 in 8 women will develop invasive breast cancer.
  • Breast cancer is the second only to skin cancer.
  • A woman’s risk of breast cancer doubles if she has a first-degree relative diagnosed.
  • 85% of diagnosed breast cancers occur in women with no family history of breast cancer.

Save the whole woman while you’re at it

Questions I Asked My Kids: The #MyMomChallenge

Erika, The Dorky Mom Doodler, Mom, doodler, and general, all round great blogger, set forth this #hashtag challenge on Mother’s Day. These questions are all about our loving, beautiful, slightly nuts, Mother. Or as I call her, DW. Dee Dub is her rapper name.

I saved these questions for today as the gift that keeps on giving. And because Thursdays are questions days, not Sundays. So Happy Belated Mother’s Day. Here’s your laugh.

1. My mom is _____ years old and weighs _____ pounds.

Crash: 40; 190 something
Bang: 41; 15

2. My mom is good at cooking _____ and is not so good at cooking _____.

Crash: Lasagna; Keto pizza
Bang: pancakes; nothing, she cooks everything good.

3. If my mom were a superhero, her name would be ______ and her superpower would be _____.

Crash: Tara; shooting lasers out of her eyes
Bang: Supermom; Flying and punching and kicking

4. And if my mom were a villain, her name would be ______ and she would use her evil powers to _____.

Crash: Bad Mom; Take over the world
Bang: Taralee the Villain; Join her evil and apacolypse the world

5. I love it when my mom ______.

Crash: Snuggle me
Bang: snuggles me!

6. When my mom is driving, she _________.

Crash: gets white knuckles
Bang: is not a maniac

7. I like it when my mom _______ and I don’t like it when my mom _________.

Crash: lays with me at night; yells at me
Bang: plays games with me; yells

8. My mom does not like to _______.

Crash: Be annoyed
Bang: go on the trampoline

9. My mom does ________ the best and _________ the worst.

Crash: Snuggles; Pokemon battles
Bang: everything; cooks speghetti

10. I’m thankful for my mom because ___________.

Crash: She loves me
Bang: She’s the best hugger.

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