Go Ask Your Father: Pizza, Condensation, Swimming lessons, and Wine

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There are light ones. There are dark ones. DW likes the dark ones. There are big ones, and small ones. There are brown ones and blue ones and yellow ones and orange ones and green ones. Some have nuts, some have caramel, some have pretzels, some have peanut butter. Everyone has their favorite. There’s so much we can learn from a bowl of M&M’s. So much difference, so much deliciousness just hanging out in one place. If only the world were as friendly as your favorite bag of Ms.

1. When and where was pizza first made?

Who cares? All that matters is that we have pizza. I usually don’t trust people who don’t like pizza. It’s the perfect food. You can get your veggies. You can get your meat and dairy and grains. It’s the entire food pyramid on one perfect slice. Hot from the oven and you have a slice of heaven in your hand. However, where and when it came to Earth is much debated. First, you have to define what constitutes “pizza”. If it’s just a flat bread then pizza goes back to the ancient Babylonians, Israelites and Egyptians. If pizza is to have toppings then pizza goes back to the ancient Greeks and Romans who baked flat breads topped with olive oil and available spices. These days, though, we call that focaccia breads. The pizza we know and love with tomato sauce, cheese and stuff originated in Italy. It had been selling like hotcakes by street vendors. However, Raffaele Esposito from Naples is credited with the first pizza. Plagiarised pizza?

2. Why is there water on the outside?

That cup of ice cold Coke is sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon shop. Water puddles on the table at the bottom of my margarita glass. It’s because there’s water in the air. It’s hanging out there as vapor. All invisible and innocent thinking it’s the highest state water can exist in. Then it bumps into the cold glass. The sudden chill makes its molecules slow down and move closer together, like DW and I do in bed on a January night. When all those molecules collect (like the family in bed on Sunday morning) they form visible drops of water. We call it condensation. You can see it on the bathroom mirror after a hot shower. On your eye glasses when you come in from the cold. On glass of ice cold Coke or a frosty margarita.

3. Can we practice swimming again?

A friend has allowed us to use their pool. Found out today it’s 18 feet wide and 32 feet long and about 52 inches deep. This equals 359,424 cubic feet of cool, refreshing water. They love the company, we love the pool (and the company, too). They have 2 incredible granddaughters who the boys enjoy playing and swimming with. Their oldest swims like a fish, like our oldest. The first time we were invited to their pool, their youngest (4 years old) was just learning to swim. Today she was swimming to the bottom for the sinker toys like she was a dolphin. We convinced Bang he could do that, too, if he practiced. Off came his life jacket. Bang said he wanted to practice for 2 minutes. 30 minutes later and he was still practicing. Swimming is a life skill, especially for us because live on an island. By end of summer I predict he’ll be a dolphin, too. Good thing he likes fish.

4. What’s that wine called?

yt-moscato-263x820Remember that friend who invites us to swim in her pool? She give you wine to drink while your kids are swimming. This our secret spot so don’t bother asking. I’d have to kill you if I told you. Today, as a repayment, we took her a bottle of wine. The boys know we enjoy a glass of wine. That ain’t no secret. So they tell us when they’re 19 (the legal drinking age here in Canadaland) they’ll drink wine with us. The wine we chose to share today was a Yellowtail Moscato.

This [yellow tail] Moscato is everything a great wine should be – zingy, refreshing and easy to drink. Passionfruit and melon. Well chilled on its own or with spicy Asian-inspired food. ~ Yellowtail website

It’s good wine and I don’t even like melon. It’s slightly bubbly, slightly sweet, and when you’re poolside, it’s as delicious as a Raffaele Esposito special.

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Questions I Asked My Kids About Camping

It’s official. We’re booked for 3 nights at a campsite in PEI. We’re meeting DW’s brother and his wife and 4 kids there. The boys are excited for multiple reasons, A) we get to sleep in a tent and B) they’ll get to play with their cousins for three days.

Also, we have a free pass for two nights of camping in a national/provincial park. The PEI trip is booked at a family campground. Wide open spaces, but lots for the kids to do. Bang wants to go (and I do, too) camping in a forest (as you’ll read in just a moment). So perhaps we’ll use the 2 night pass for forest camping. We might need a few practice nights in the backyard. Though, what I’m most nervous about what to feed the youngest, pickiest eater besides cookies, granola bars, and crackers.

1. What does it mean to go camping?

Crash: When you put up a tent, talk in a tent, roast marshmallows and stay up til 12:00
Bang: Like roast marshmallows, have fun, and sleep in a tent. You don’t do that at real bedtime

2. What is going to be the most fun about camping?

Crash: Going to Shinning Waters, if we go. (Shinning Waters is a water park so his favorite thing about our planned camping trip has nothing do with camping)
Bang: Roasting marshmallows, probably. Because i burn them

3. What do you want to do while we’re camping?

Crash: Doing our own comedy shows inside the tent
Bang: Go to sleep… err no.. Eat cookies

4. How many nights to you want to sleep in a tent?

Crash: 4 would be good
Bang: 30 years

5. What animal would be really cool to see while we’re camping?

Crash: A moose or an owl
Bang: Deer. I haven’t seen one in like ages

 

6. What is something you hope doesn’t happen while we’re camping?

Crash: The tent catches on fire
Bang:  A bear breaks into our tent

7. What would you do if we saw a bear while camping?

Crash: I know what I do! I would slowly walk away from it because in a book it told you how escape from a bear and it said to slowly walk away from it.
Bang: Get our guns out and shoot in the nose?
Me: Do we have guns?
Bang: We have toy guns.
Me: So you want to shoot it with a Nerf dart?
Bang: Yeah

8. Where (besides PEI) do you want to go camping?

Crash: Disneyland
Bang: In a forest. I’ve never been into the forest.

9. What are we going to eat when we go camping?

Crash: Probably granola bars and cheese and crackers
Bang: Junk, like cookies, granola bars. Oh, don’t forget my favorite kind of crackers from playgroup.

10. What is something we should do to be safe while camping?

Crash: Always have a first aid kit and don’t lose your mind and wander off.
Bang: Stick together so we don’t get lost.

Camping Quote

Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep 47

Today was Field Trip Day for Bang and his class. DW and I were privledged enough to get to chaperone since we have our background checks done and child abuse registry filed. We’re safe around kids. 

Just not our own, on occassion. 

The trip itself is worthy of it’s own post.

Now for the laughs…

1. What was your favorite part about today?

Bang: I loved touching the fish at the fish hatchery
Crash: Going to the computer lab to work on my “History of Basketball” project

2. How many kids do you want to have when you grow up?

Bang: 13
Crash: Geez! One kid.

3. What will their names be?

Bang:  Jonathan, Akrum, Spear, Lainey, David, Nolan, Aiden, Maiden, Sara, Lightning, and Mandy
Crash: If it’s a girl then her name will be Ginny. If it’s a boy, he’ll be Albus.

4. What pets will your kids have?

Bang: Dog, cat, and parrot. cameleon, lizard, tiger, lion, bear, babboon, elephant, skunk, mouse, hippopotamus, wolf
Crash: A cat

5. Where do you want to go on your next field trip?

Bang: To the fire tower to look for fires.
Crash: We’re going to St. F.X. tomorrow. There this place in India and someone took a picture of it and it’s a small small small basketball court and no else has ever found it. I want to take a field trip there. It would be fun. But it’s in India and we’d have to speak Indian.

6. How many people live on Earth?

Bang: Several
Crash: 7 billion

7. What time will you wake up in the morning?

Bang: 8:45 am
Crash: 6:00 so I can play lots of video games before my field trip

8. What is Dad good at?

Bang: Vacuuming
Crash: Editing videos

9. What is Mom good at?

Bang: Snuggling
Crash: Saying bad words

10. What is your brother good at?

Bang: He’s good at playing Lego Star Wars on the Wii, watching TV, and throwing temper tantrums
Crash: There’s more than one. Video games (just like me, following in my footsteps), giving me pain that’s for sure, and coloring

35 Questions No One Has Asked Me

Except, Sandra over at A Momma’s View has asked them. I’ve got nothing else to on this Saturday night as the O’s take on the Red Sox and John Oliver reruns playing on HBO On Demand. I will now sit here, answer questions and help DW eat the chocolate she had hidden.

  1. Are you drooling when brushing your teeth? Yes, but I try not to, but I can’t help it.
  2. How often do you clean your bathroom? I cleaned it today! I think it was 2 weeks ago that it was cleaned last.
  3. Do you ever scratch your bum or you know what…? Only when I’m at home and there are no guests
  4. Do you smell your own armpits? Nope. No reason for my nose to be in there
  5. How long do you go till you wash your hair? It’s been at least 4 years since I washed my hair
  6. How often do you shower? Every other day or so. Depends on how stinky I am. If I can smell myself, it’s shower time
  7. Have you ever pooed and then realized you had not toilet paper? Yep.
  8. If you run out of toilet paper what would you use to clean your bum? Baby wipes
  9. What’s the silliest way you spend money? On running clothes. Always need more.
  10. Do you feel like the tourist nobody wants to have around when you are on vacation? Sometimes I slip in tourist mode while taking photos, but otherwise I try to pretend I’m not one
  11. Do you misbehave when you are on vacation (thinking spring break crazy)? Nope. Totally behaved
  12. Have you ever vomited over someone’s shoes? Can’t say that I have.
  13. Did you ever get so drunk that you couldn’t remember a single thing? Nope, haven’t done that either
  14. What do people really dislike about you? Probably how amazing of a wife I have.
  15. Is there something you tend to ignore in regards to your spouse? That she’s always right
  16. Do you snore? I’ve never heard myself, but I’m told I do
  17. Does your partner snore? She’s never heard herself, but I tell her she does
  18. How does it make you feel when you hear snoring? like laughing
  19. What do you do with ear wax? Clean it out of my ears with Q-Tips
  20. Do you play with your boogers? Sometimes we jump on the trampoline and sometimes we play with matchbox cars and sometimes the 2 little boogers want to play Wii.
  21. Do you check out your napkin after blowing your nose? Only to see if I have sinus infection. No rorschach tests
  22. When you drop food, do you eat it still? Only at home
  23. When you see a person that you find gross while on the beach, what do you do? Stare in mild amusment
  24. Do you like to be touched? Only by those closest to me
  25. Do you ask people how old they are? Nope. I guess. I’m usually way off.
  26. What do you think of people who have more than 6 kids? That they are either tough or stupid or a bit of both
  27. Have you ever told someone to pluck their eyebrows? Nope
  28. Have your kids ever asked inappropriate questions? Of course.
  29. Have you ever asked a stranger where they live? Nope
  30. Did you ever pee on someones fence or next to someone’s house? On a fence, yes. Didn’t belong to anyone and it was 4 miles away from civilization
  31. Have you ever watched someone while they were… well, you know… Pee? Just DW – open door policy and all
  32. When you are at the gym, do you check out other people there? Yep. I like to see who I’m working out with
  33. While at the gym, do you wipe your equipment after using it? Yep. It’s gross when others don’t
  34. Do you sweat a lot? I do
  35. Do you sometimes put deodorant on instead of showering? You betcha

There is no tagging. If want to answer them, feel free! 

Go Ask Your Father: Images, Uvulas, PostMortem, and Amusement Parks

We made it to Friday, y’all. Some of you are finished school for the summer. Others are nearly finished. We still have the rest of the month. The kids are pretty much on autopilot now. They’re just cruising through to the end the year.

1. Why am I upside down in the spoon?

Perhaps it’s not you that is upside down. Perhaps it is the spoon. Or better yet, perhaps there is no you or spoon and this is just some computer simulated universe. The real reason is because the spoon is concave- or indented (like a cave). The back of the spoon is convex, and therefore you look mostly normal, whatever your normal is. However, on the concave side, light is not reflected at straight angles as if you were looking at yourself in the knife. Instead, because of its concaveness, light at the bottom of the spoon is reflected upward while light at the top is reflected downward. This effectively flips your image.

2. What’s that dangly thing in my throat?

This is the kind of question you get when your child is inspecting their sore throat in a mirror and notices a little punching bag (speed bag) shaped piece of skin way in the back. Called a uvula [you-view-lah] (not to be confused with a vulva, that’s something completely different). Once upon a time it was believed to help guide food and water as humans were the only mammals to not bend over to eat and drink. Then it was thought to induce the gag reflex. It was also believed to cause chronic coughing which could easily be cured with a simple clipping. These people would undergo uvulopalatopharyngoplasty to have it removed. It was also suspected of causing cardiovascular problems like SIDS. Today, scientists think that it helps with speech as humans are the only animals who have a uvula.

3. What happens to bodies after they die?

I’m not sure if he was looking for a scientific answer or not. I’m hoping not, because I’m not NCIS or a mortician. So instead I opted with what people would like to have done with their bodies after their time here on Earth comes to an end. Some opt to be cremated. This turns their body to ash to be stored in urns and pendants or taken to a location of significance and scattered. Neil DeGrasse Tyson doesn’t want this as the heat from his body is released into space and is of no assistance to Earth. Whereas if he were buried he could “feed” the Earth as the Earth fed him through his life. So some choose to be buried. Some chose to donate their bodies to science. There are now new and creative ways to be memorialized. For example, you can be turned into a tree. Or more specifically, you are cremated then your ashes are used to grow a tree and you are buried so your tree can flourish. You have your cremains pressed into a vinyl record, or put into fireworks, or even into tattoo ink.

4. Can we go to an Amusement park?

Bang has very few fears when it comes to amusement park rides. A fair (think traveling carnival) comes to town at the beginning of every summer and Bang loves to ride the rides. Just last summer he was finally tall enough to ride some of the adult rides. There were a couple he still wasn’t tall enough for and he made his disappointment plainly obvious. This is not how I was at his age. I hated roller coasters. At one park, my parents would tell me every ride that I did get on went upside down. Including the log flume. Fortunately, I wasn’t quite gullible enough to believe them. Now he wants to go to a “real” amusement park to ride “real” roller coasters. Including the ones that go upside down.

Go Ask Your Father: Hummingbirds, Potter, Recorder, and Clouds

Happy Friday!

The boys are off to Nanny’s for a sleepover. We’re off to our date night. Too bad it’s raining. Oh well, at least I’m not getting sunburned. I swear, if this rain keeps up I’m expecting the vampires to take up residence here. Please, dear Lord, don’t them be the sparkly kind!

How do hummingbirds drink?

Hummingbirds eat insects and and insect eggs. Over easy. Sometimes scrambled. Apparently their favorite is spider. So all you arachnophobes, the hummingbird is your best friend. However, they also feed from flowers. They will feed from your hummingbird feeder, too. I remember when we lived in Virginia we would have a dozen or more trying to feed from one feeder. It was amazing. (hint: to make your own hummingbird food boil 4 cups of water and 1 cup of sugar) Scientist once thought that they used their tongues as a wick. Recently, thanks to high speed footage, scientists have witnessed hummers using their tongues as a pump. Liquid is gathered on the end of their tongue. Then it contracts and the liquid is forced up their tongue into their mouth. Think of how you squeeze the last of the toothpaste out of the tube, it’s much the same motion. Except it’s their tongue, not a toothpaste tube.


Can I read Harry Potter?

Merlin’s beard! Of course you can. That would have been my answer had it been Crash who asked. However, Bang is only 5, and not quite ready for something that intense. We are Potterheads here. Bang will get his turn and I can’t wait. But I will. I started reading Harry to Crash when he was in 2nd grade. The first 3 books are basically an introduction. Things pick up and get scarier in book 4 The Goblet of Fire. We typically read a book then watch the movie and talk about the differences. I have read each book to him. He is now reading The Philosopher’s Stone on his own and I’m quite pleased. Pleased that he can read something that difficult on his own and pleased that he chose to on his own. He’d be Gryffindor for sure!

Can we make a recorder video?

Thank you music class. Never have I wanted smash an instrument as much as I’d like to smash that recorder. He has learned to play Hot Cross Buns. The iconic first song learned on any instrument. Wonder what AC/DC would sound like playing Hot Cross Buns? Over and over and over again he plays it. Mom, Dad, I’m sorry for that you had hear while I was learning to play the trumpet. Karma sucks ass. Anyway, I’m not musically gifted, but having learned the trumpet, I understand it a bit. So I taught Crash how to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Now he has two songs he plays on repeat. While no one was home, I learned Ode to Joy. One of these days, yes, we will make a video of us playing a duet. It’ll best be listened to with your speakers turned off.

Are the clouds in space?

My mom used to calls me a space cadet, not because go to space but because I space out. Bang was a bit confused. He sees the clouds up there, the sun up there, the moon up there, the stars up there, isn’t that all space? Nope. By Earth law, the Kármán line- where space officially begins- is at 100 km (62 miles) straight up. There is no definitive line between Earth and outer space. Just like there’s no definitive line between paying attention and spacing out. While the space station is 250 miles above the Earth, clouds can range anywhere from 0 feet (fog) and 53 miles (Noctilucent, or night clouds). That’s 9 miles shy of where space begins. Pretty much where I go when I space out. 

bonus:

Q: Where do astronauts go for a drink?
A: To the space bar!

Questions I Asked My Kids: ep 44

Tomorrow is Friday, y’all. Bring it!

DW and I are headed to a party tomorrow night, too. Date night! Bring it, too!

1. Where is the most awesomest place you have been?

Crash: I would say LegoLand but we’ve never been to LegoLand. So I’ll say The Cottage at the lake and Shining Waters (water park)
Bang: The hotel in Truro- it has an amazing pool

2. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Crash: Either an engineer or a racecar driver
Bang: A builder and a maid

3. Did you have any dreams last night?

Crash: I’m sure I did. Hold on… I’m 105% sure I did but I can’t remember it. I completely forget
Bang: Nope

4. What is something you would like to learn how to do?

Crash: Get free stuff from Amazon like a fidget spinner
Bang: Wiggle my eyebrows

5. Dad wants to get a new job. What job should he get?

Crash: A Clown! Just kidding… Baseball player for the Orioles.
Bang: Working at the grocery store

6. Mom wants to get a new job. What job should she get?

Crash: A mechanic
Bang: Putting tires on old cars

7. What would be a fun flavor for toothpaste?

Crash: Potato chip
Bang: Banana 

8. If you could fill a pool with anything fun to jump into, what would you use to fill it?

Crash: Sprinkles
Bang: Pretzel sticks

9. How far away is the sun?

Crash: 14,376 miles away
Bang: 13,000 miles

10. What age do you wish you were?

Crash: 18, because it just feels like a good age
Bang: 703 so I could work more jobs and be even smarter

Go Ask Your Father: Goose, First People, Anuses, and Staying Up Late

The sun! The heat! The grass is growing fast than the boys, which I didn’t think was possible. The weather is here, wish you were beautiful. (Thank for that line Jimmy Buffet) I just realized you can change the meaning of that statement with a simple coma. Wish you were, beautiful.

Bang is here crushing my candy. He beat a level for me, as he commonly does.
Me: Thanks for beating that level for me, bud.
Bang: You’re obviously welcome. I am the master, you know.

1. What’s a baby goose called?

A baby oyster is a spat. A baby kangaroo is a joey. A baby jellyfish is an ephyna. A baby pigeon is a squab. A baby spider is a spiderling. A baby alpaca is a cria. Many animals are pups or calves or chicks. A baby goose, though? That’s a gosling. Like the Ryan some females tend to drool over like I drool over a cheeseburger. It’s an old word, apparently. It’s from the Old Norse gǽslingr, from gás ‘goose’ + -ling. You know something else that is Old Norse? Thor, the God of Thunder.

canada-gosling

a baby goose

ryan-gosling_cannes-63rd

not a baby goose

 

 

 

 

 

2. Who were the first people on Earth?

Depends on who you ask. If you ask Ken Ham the Christian Fundamentalist, Adam and Eve were the first people. He also believes the Earth was created 6,000 years ago. However, if you ask Bill Nye the Science Guy (BILL BILL BILL) the Earth is four and half billion years old and the first humans evolved from apes and human evolved around 2.8 million years ago. But that’s arguable among scientists. Just because it looks human doesn’t necessarily make it human. Did it use tools? How did it get food? How smart was it. I know some people who still haven’t quite finished evolving from their neanderthal status.

3. What’s an anus*?

Here’s how it happened. We were watching a video on YouTube and a family was at a science museum. They were looking at planets. The dad says, “There’s yer-anus.” His son then asks, “My anus?” And then Bang asks his question. The simple answer? It’s the hole your poop comes out. The long answer? It’s the end of your digestive tract. Food leaves your small intestines (10′ long) and enters your large intestines (5′ long). This is comprised of the ascending colon, the transverse colon, the descending colon and the sigmoid colon. From there it’s stored in the rectum until it’s ready for expulsion. Whether you’re ready or not.

*also called – one eyed pirate, the stink eye, a poop chute, President…

4. Can I stay up late?

If you have wee ones you have heard this question many times, no doubt. If you read Go Ask Your Father you have read this question before. Tonight, Crash is at a friend’s house for a sleepover. It’ll be the first time he’s gone farther from Nanny’s for a sleepover without his parents. So it’s just Bang and his parents playing Candy Crush. (I’m only at level 439. DW is at 560) Since it’s now 8:00 pm and he’s still awake, the answer is yes. Plus the Orioles play the Blue Jays in Baltimore so that game is on T.V. Will I be up late? Yes, yes I will.

If you’re up late, click here to check out (and follow!) my Facebook page. Then come back and click here to check out (and follow!) me on Twitter.

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Questions I Asked My Kids: ep 43

1. If you were to make a new flavor of potato chip, what flavor would you make?

Crash: Strawberry
Bang: Strawberry apple
Mom: Asiago something

2. If you create a new baseball team to play the Orioles, what would their name be and what colors is their uniform?

Crash: The Benchwarmers and they’d be light brown and white
Bang: Their uniform would be yellow and black and white. Their name would be The Jeffy Bronze
Mom: [stares blankly]

3. If you had to change your name to something in this room, what would you be called?

Crash: Janigle (one of his stuffies)
Bang: Wall
Mom: George (as in Curious George)

4. If Canada were to make a new coin, who’s face should they put on it?

Crash: My own
Bang: Pop Pop’s
Mom: Mine

5. Would you rather have 4 eyes or 4 arms. Why?

Crash: 4 arms so I could do the dishes faster (he doesn’t do dishes)
Bang: 4 arms so I can floss my teeth faster
Mom: 4 arms so I can get more done

6. What would be the coolest why to go to school?

Crash: Bugatti
Bang: Airplane
Mom: Hovercraft

7. What would be the grossest jelly bean flavor?

Crash: Snot
Bang: Hippopotamus
Mom: Poop

8. If you had to describe yourself with one word, what would you NOT use?

Crash: Stupids
Bang: Boring
Mom: Skinny

9. What song do you want to listen to in the truck?

Crash: That song on Google Play music that made us laugh (it was on Ini Kamoze station, but I have no idea which song or who sings it)
Bang: Here Comes the Hotstepper
Mom: Play that Song

10. What animal would be funny to bring into our house?

Crash: Elephant because when he sits on the couch he’ll break it
Bang: Another Piper (quaker parrot)
Mom: Monkeys who fling poo at Hubband

Go Ask Your Father: Birth, Books, Infinity, and Heaven

I want to talk politics for a minute. Don’t worry, I’m not going shove my views down your throat. I’m a pretty complacent guy. Not much gets me riled up. The Orioles losing and salsa on the walls do, but not much else. Oh, and people who think if you don’t have their beliefs, loyalties, opinions then you can’t be anything but wrong. Take this photo for instance.

Capture

See anything wrong? That’s our Bang in the middle, in case you didn’t recognise him. On the right is our MLA Michel Samson. He’s the Premier’s right hand man and great guy all round. That’s the Premier on the left. In US terms, he’d be the governor. They were in town for a rally and we were there. So was Bang and he was making his presence known. The Premier’s photographer snapped this shot. My favorite part is Divo, the stuffed dog, hanging out of his pocket. DW posted this photo to her FB wall with this message:

My little future politician? This image was taken by the premier’s photographer at the community BBQ yesterday evening. My little ham was hugging everyone and jumping into all the photos. Before anyone feels the need to post negative comments keep in mind that he is 5 (note the stuffy hanging out of his pocket), and I support Michel. I appreciate everyone’s right to an opinion while not driving mine down anyone’s throat…extend the same courtesy please!

People are only seeing one issue, the teacher issue. There is so much more Michel has done for our area.

1. What does Heaven look like?

Poor Bang has had so many questions since his Guppie died back in February. This was one. At first, I considered telling me what I thought Heaven was like. I thought maybe Heaven is like our favorite place with all our favorite things. For me that would mean lots of Mother Nature, outdoor activites, books, and a bakery. That would make Heaven a different place for all of us. So I told him no one knows what Heaven is like because all who have been there haven’t been able to come tell us what it’s like. I related it to twins in mommy’s (not his mommy’s) belly. When one baby is born it can’t go back in Mommy’s belly and tell it what it’s like outside of her belly. Nor can we really imagine what Heaven is like because it’s not of this world. 

2. How do babies come out?

Of course, explaining why we don’t know what Heaven is like as babies being born led him to questions exactly how babies are born. Through the bum? Out the belly button? I told him babies come out head first. Most of the time. Then his brain kicked into overdrive. “So they cut it out of the mom’s belly?” Sometimes, I told him. That’s called a C-section. Then I whipsered, “Sometimes they come out mom’s pee pee” which I know is technically incorrect, but to a 5 year old boy, but for a 5 year old boy will have to do for now. Don’t be surprised to see an episode of “Go Ask Your Mother” in the coming weeks.

3. How long can books be?

Sometimes books seem to go on and on and on. As Ambrose Briece has been quoted as writing, “The covers of this book are too far apart.” Others are indeed really long. After Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, the books start picking up significantly in length. Topping out at 870 pages in the US version. However, this isn’t the longest book. A German novel by the name of Zettles Traum by Arno Schmidt has and estimated 1,100,000 words on 1,536 pages. In comparison, together, all seven books of Harry Potter contain 1,084,170 words. Or roughly the same number of words my kids use in the run of a day.

4. What comes after infinity?

Uhh… infinity +1? Once upon a time I would have said nothing come after infinity. Infinity is on going, has no end, go on forever. Of course, there are different kinds of infinity with some infinities being larger than others. There are an infinite number of numbers between 0 and 1. There are an infinite number of numbers. Thanks to Vsauce of YouTube, I now know there are things beyond infinity. You can watch it if you want. I’ll admit I’ve watched it several (maybe 3 or 4) times already. If numbers are your thing, you’ll find it fascinating. Otherwise, Buzz sumed it up best when he said, “To infinity and beyond!”

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