The Daily Elf

November 30th

These guys and gals are either loved or hated. Sometimes both at the same time. Their names are Woody and Elfis and our boys love them. They look forward to their return every year.  We love them because they bring Christmas Spirit with them. Today was their first day back and I’ve already seen a change in Bang. He’s definitely trying hard. Where he used to stomp and scream he now calmly asks for help. Crash is still arguing, but that will probably (hopefully?) cease once he sees his name on the naughty list.

Oh yes. There is a nice and naughty list. Woody and Elfis bring it from the North Pole with them and they are in charge of it. Should the boys do something naughty list worthy their names will magically change over to the naughty side. Mom and dad have made it over there on occasion. Even Woody and Elfis make an appearance on the naughty list from time to time. No one is immune.

See, these two elves keep watch on Crash and Bang to make sure they are behaving. Every night they fly back to the North Pole to give Santa their report on the behavior they saw. The boys know not to touch them or they will lose their magic and won’t be able to fly back to Santa. I’m sure you know the story.

Sometimes they get into mischief – making messes, being silly, having fun, or hiding in some unexpected places.

I’m going to post a photo of them every day for the next 25 days to let you know what they’re up to. It may serve as inspiration for the elves of other children to create some fun, some magic, and some laughter.

As per every year, their first hiding spot was in the Christmas tree. It’s what signaled them to come back, after all. Their beacon, if you will. Who knows where they’ll turn up tomorrow. Well, I do, actually.



The Joys of the Chaos

Have you ever had so much to do at any given moment that you felt there was no way in hell it would get done? You know you had to leave at such and such to make it without being late. While scrambling to get it all done, you know there are only two options. Option A, leave without being properly prepared. Option B, slow down, don’t forget anything and accept the fact that you’re going to be late. Option C (an option you didn’t realize existed until it was too late) continue at the mad pace your on but ultimately forget something. Hopefully, not one of the kids. Or your spouse. Or worse yet, your lunch.

That’s what happened at house this morning. Anyone who has to get kids ready for school in the morning knows this struggle all to well. It is real. Last night’s snow didn’t help our situation. It was the most exciting two inches Crash and Bang had ever seen. The first “real” snow always is. Nevermind school, they couldn’t wait to get out to play in it. So excited that Crash made oatmeal for breakfast at 6 am, put in the freezer to cool off and forgot about it. I found it an hour and half later while getting ice for water bottles. Thank God, too. He would have been awful hungry come lunch time!

Fortunately, every on in our house is capable of dressing themselves now. Bang now gets himself dressed immediately after waking up. Knowing that I was substituting today, I got myself ready immediately after eating breakfast. Sorry, WordPress, you gotta wait until after school (or recess and lunch). Then it was down to pack three lunches – Crash’s, DW’s, and my own. Then chaos arrives and threw the proverbial wrench in my gears.

I’m all for the kids going out to play. I’m even more all for going out to play with them. What I’m not for is going out before school. Normally, Crash would help get ready – I’d pack his lunch, but he’d pack his backpack. This morning, he just couldn’t wait to go out and ride his snowboard down the hill in the fresh powder. Can’t blame him, I wanted to be out there, too. Unfortunately, he neglected his morning duties. Then Bang went out to play, too. This would have been all fine and dandy except that I had to stop the scramble and help him get on all his snow clothes.

They weren’t out long before traipsing back in. Lunches were being packed. Water bottles were being filled. We were nearly ready. Mostly. Bang needed his medicine (last of his antibiotic to heal his double ear infection). Bang needed his puffers. While DW administered those, I finished lunches. Finally, ready to head out the door, chaos tapped my on the shoulder and laughed.

Crash’s backpack still wasn’t packed like I asked him to do. He argued about wearing snow pants to school (his only argument was that it takes too long to put them on and he misses recess to which I told him to learn to dress faster. Duh). This required him to take off the boots and coat he had already put on. Bang was getting his coat on. I was getting my boots on. DW had started the truck so it could thaw and running like a blue arsed fly looking for her snow boots. I told her where to look in the basement, but she pulled a me and went looking and couldn’t find them fast enough. I ran down and got them. Came back up to pack Crash’s backpack. Meanwhile, the four year old is now the only one ready with hat, coat, mittens, and packed backpack standing outside waiting.

Finally, sitting in the truck, DW asks “Did you get my water bottle?”

“Nope.” And back into the house I go.

“It’s in the back of the truck,” she hollers into the house. That explains why I can’t find the damn thing. She forgot that she remembered to grab it.

Back in the truck she asks the second question, “Did you get my lunchbox?”

“Yes, but I forgot mine,” I respond with a growl and probably rolled my eyes so far back I could see myself think.

“I got it. It’s in the back of the truck.” And off we go, with a quick stop at Nanny’s to drop off the antibiotic because she will be picking Bang up from school. DW drops all three off at school (it’s great having the three of here at one time).

Ten minutes later I get paged to come to the office where the secretary tells me, “Your wife called. You forgot your lunch in the truck.”

Shit. Guess I’ll consider myself lucky if that’s the only thing I forgot.


Giving credit where credit is due. 


Saturday Share

We’re down to just 27 days until Christmas. Hard to believe another on is coming. It was just after last Christmas that I started blogging. Nearly a year has gone by already?

Anyway, I found some great reads for you today. Hope you enjoy!

A worthy read before going to teacher/creature night.

Strong Enough to Break
There might be a swear word or two (or a hundred) here. Depends on where you’re from.

A Momma’s View
If you click on one link, make sure it’s this one. Your life on line are your tattoos.

Life Kids and A Glass of Red
The bigger your boots, the deader the spider.

Properly Ridiculous
Dear Writer’s Block…

I know it’s not December, yet. But are we now in the Christmas season since American Thanksgiving is over? Hope the Christmas spirit (or the spirit of whatever holiday you may celebrate) finds you! It’s still looking for me, today.


A Turkey Named Geronimo


PHOTO PROMPT © Sandra Crook


We had a turkey for supper last night. He was very well behaved and had the best manners. He ate all his supper, but perhaps had a bit too much fruit punch. He got this crazy idea that he could fly.

We tried to stop him, but he was too stubborn. He walked to the top of the cliff. We begged him not to jump.

But he did. And I swear, for just a minute, that turkey was flying. Unfortunately for him, it was for only the first minute.

We’re having turkey for supper tonight. Poor soul tastes great with gravy.

*Side note: Turkeys CAN fly. They roost in trees and I’m pretty sure they don’t climb up there. I’m not entire sure if this turkey would survive a flight from as high as this cliff looks. This turkey didn’t.

This is a story in 100 words for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle-Wisoff-Fields based on the photo above. Click the blue frog to read more stories inspired by this photo!

A Two Sentence Story?

Ever heard of a story written in two sentences? I participate in a 100 word story challenge. Though, last week I bent the rules just a smidgen. Instead of writing one story, I wrote two that were related. So technically I used 200 words. But it was two stories. That counts, right? Read it here if you want. It’s loosely based on some other fairy tale about a shoe.

Anyway, I saw C.S. Wilde was hosting a two sentence story and I thought, hmmm could I? So I took that above story and attempted to tell it in two sentences. Almost worked, but I changed it slightly. Not realizing it was a contest, she gave me an Honorable Warriors award! Thanks C.S.! Feel free to check out the link and look for Stomperdad’s story. Check out the other stories, too. You’ll be amazed at how much can be conveyed in just two sentences.

Two Faced Kids

In the span of 30 seconds I can see four different moods in one kid. Laughter turns to frustration turns to screaming and stomping turns back to happy again. It happened just this morning over a pair of socks.

Bang woke up after a restless sleep (he’s not feeling well and has been running a low grade fever for four days now). He came downstairs to the kitchen to greet us then headed back upstairs to change out of his pajamas. He returned fully dressed then realized he had forgotten socks. He laughed about it then headed back up the stairs.529603

From the kitchen, and probably within a three mile radius, we suddenly heard him stomping and crying. Knowing he wasn’t hurt, I went up to see what was wrong. Any guesses? Did you guess he couldn’t find his grey socks? Yep. He had the basket of socks dumped all over the hallway floor looking for his grey socks. The black and red ones just wouldn’t do. This frustration prompted the stomping and crying complete with crocodile tears.

He turned the tears off upon my arrival. We’ve been trying to teach him to ask for help nicely instead of this stomping and crying. It’s a work in progress. Mostly work, not much progress. Anyway, after a quick look in the laundry basket (instead of the sock basket – we get a little lazy when it comes to putting socks away) I located his grey socks. He put them on himself (naturally inside out because that’s how he rolls) and the crises was averted.

Crash can do the same thing. Except, now that he’s eight he doesn’t use the tears anymore (usually). Like when it comes to chores he can growl and complain that he doesn’t want to do them. Hell, he’ll even go as far as ignoring me. This morning I asked him to round up the garbage cans from upstairs so we could take the garbage to the curb this morning. Instead he sat himself in the living room chair to watch TV with his brother. HA! Nice try chach (after reading this definition we realized it fit Crash and Bang perfectly).

So my kids are two faced. Not so much bipolar, because they can change their mood like a light switch. I know it’s mostly all for show. It’s how they put up their fight. It’s how they let us know that something is bothering them. Unfortunately, their form of communication leaves a bit to be desired.

I’ve explained to Crash, often several times a day, that he has to do chores. He needs to help out around the house. Yesterday, I went as far as telling him that any mess, any garbage, anything of his that I have to clean up, I’m going to put in his bed. I’ve explained to Bang that he needs to use his words, not his feet and scream, to let me know he needs help.  I’ve even praised him for doing so. Hence, it’s a work in progress.

Much like the soft clay of pottery needs to be shaped and fired so too do our kids. We form them with gentle hands to create gentle humans. We hold them in the figurative fire, temper them with strict rules to make them respectful humans. We drink heavily after they’re in bed.


Sunshine Blogger

Outside, it is overcast, raining, windy here today. But it is warm, so it’s not all bad. Inside it’s all sunshine.

sunshine award

Thank you Melissa from Single Mom Unschooling for presenting me with the Sunshine Blogger Award (and giving me something to write about today). This award is for bloggers who spread sunshine and positivity throughout the blogging community. It brings some satisfaction knowing that what I write makes others happy. Mission accomplished. Not a bad way to start American Thanksgiving week!

The rules for accepting the award are as follows:
  • Thank the person/people who nominated you (Check)
  • Answer the eleven questions from your nominator (see below)
  • Nominate eleven other bloggers and give them eleven questions to answer (see below below)

Here are the questions Melissa asked:

  1. What’s one thing you’ve learned from blogging?
    A: There is a whole blogging community who supports each other
  2. Who do you most admire?
    A: My parents, my DW, my in-laws, too. And people who hire maids.
  3. What activities do you enjoy?
    A: Reading, writing, running, soccer, baseball, cooking, kayaking, finding new ways to torment my kids
  4. Favorite place to be?
    A: With family (or hiding so I can eat chocolate w/out sharing)
  5. Where do you do your blogging?
    A: At a computer usually at home. Definitely not at school.
  6. What could be your theme song?
    A: The Parent Rap
  7. Favorite book and/or video game?
    A: The Book Thief, Where the Wild Things Are
  8. Coffee or tea?
    A: Tea or hot chocolate
  9. What is your biggest fear?
    A: Stepping on a slug barefoot
  10. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
    A: An introvert with extrovert tendencies.
  11. What’s your favorite movie?
    A: Star Wars (IV, V, VI), Usual Suspects, or Harry Potter

Check out these blogs! I know some of these bloggers aren’t into the whole awards thing. I just wanted to let them know they’re deserving of it. A virtual high five, so to speak. Happy reading! Happy blogging!


I Read Encyclopedias For Fun

A Momma’s View

Sounds Like Life to Me

Bumbi’s Mom

Adequate Dad

Ah Dad

Ann’s Grubbs-n-Critters

Mummy Spits the Dummy

Strong Enough to Break

Here are my questions (10 questions for 10 bloggers)

  1. Which flavor of ice cream best represents your personality?
  2. What is your go to alcoholic beverage?
  3. What is your least favorite housework chore to do?
  4. Where is your dream vacation to?
  5. If you could be a bird, which would you want to be?
  6. What’s one thing another blogger taught you?
  7. What is your favorite way to kill time?
  8. Which fictional character would you like to bring to life?
  9. What was your best/worst subject in school?
  10. Would you rather have an extra arm or an extra leg?

Ella’s Cinders (in 2 parts)

shoe grate


 The only things I know for sure are her name is Ella and we danced for hours t at Avalon Hollywood. Suddenly, somewhere around midnight, she ran out and jumped on the bus. Her Coach wasn’t pulled by 6 white horses, but with the power of 320. All that remains are the memories and her lost shoe. Now I search the city for this beautiful woman; the foot that fits this shoe. For in the matter of a couple hours, she stole my heart.

I don’t who that man was, but my God he was gorgeous. He asked me to dance so we danced. For hours. It was exhilarating! It was the emergency call from my godmother that ended my bliss so suddenly. Unfortunately, I lost a shoe when getting on the bus. Perhaps I’ll find it later. They do remind me of the night my nasty step-sister’s house burnt to cinders.

This is a story in 100 words for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle-Wisoff-Fields based on the photo above. Click the blue frog to read more stories inspired by this photo!