Happy Anniversary!

It’s July 1st again! Happy Anniversary babe… the love of my life, the mother of my children, the brains of the house. It’s our 8th anniversary. I’d like take her bowling. Or the Speedway to watch a race. But it’s also Canada Day so I’ll take her to the free pancake breakfast over at St. Mark’s church and then to Granville Green for a free concert and hotdogs and cake.

Which gets me thinking… there’s something traditional for every year!
1st Anniversary is paper. That’s easy. Walmart has reams of paper. I could splurge on the good stuff and get card stock. Or perhaps a magazine subscription (Sports Illustrated).
2nd Anniversary is cotton. Looking back I could have given pure cotton, in spherical form. There’s so much you can do with cotton balls. I bet I could get a giant bag of them at Costco.
3rd Anniversary is leather. Wallet? Nah, she has one already. A Porsche has leather seats, so that isn’t happening. So I guess it’ll be Assless chaps, a riding crop and a leather bound 50 Shades of Grey. Win, win!
4th Anniversary is linen or silk. Silk sheets? No thanks, we’ll slide of out bed. If I could afford it, I’d get her silky skin. I think I need to go check the linen closet.
5th Anniversary is wood. I gave her my last name…. that one’s covered. We could have gone to Bridgeville, De to see the trebuchets of Punkin Chunkin! (I told her when we win the lottery, we’re going there first)
6th Anniversary is iron. I’ll take her golfing. Nope, can’t afford that. Guess we’ll just go to the driving range. You know what else comes in iron? Skillets.
7th Anniversary is wool and copper. Well we do live in Canada so some wool would handy. I hate mowing and sheep eat grass and wool comes from sheep. She’s getting a sheep. Maybe a lot of them so when she can’t sleep she can go count them. Pennies are copper, so that one’s a freebie. I’ll give her a penny for my thoughts. Won’t take long.
8th Anniversary is bronze. That’s today! I’d like to get her a little bronze key… “key to my heart” but I don’t know where to find one. A tan is bronze. But I can’t afford to send her to the tanning booth. Maybe the Walmart has some spray on tan. If not, bronze Rusoleum will have to do.
9th Anniversary is pottery. Really, she’ll have spent 9 years with me and she gets a clay pot? Okie dokie… I’ll fill with some of my favorite ice cream.
10th Anniversary is tin/aluminum. A case of Coca Cola should work. She doesn’t drink Coke so she can the empty cans for refunding. 24 cans times a nickle for each can is an easy buck 20 in her pocket!

The list goes on and on and on… steel (argh argh argh), silk (again), lace (whoo hoo!), Ivory (soap? or elephants?), crystal (like The Dark Crystal? or Crystal Palace?) Those are a long time away, I’ve got lots of time to plan those!

Happy bronze anniversary, babe! Love you!