This Is Not the Blog You’re Looking For…

If you came here for a laugh, you’ll have to look elsewhere. Check with Ah Dad.

If you came here for some insightful pieces of wisdom on parenting, you’ll definitely have to look elsewhere. Check with Coach Daddy.

I’m too busy to post tonight.

I’m making double chocolate chip cookies and bacon.

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The Only Cookie You Need to Make – Vanishing Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

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Remember our Random Act of Kindness the other day? The one where we delivered cookies to the RCMP station and the paramedic base? We still need to get some to the firemen. Anway, we found out that the cookies didn’t last long. Some, who came in some time after our delivery, said the crumbs were delicious. So I thought I’d share my recipe with you. They’re the cookies that DW always requests I make when I say I’m going to make cookies.

 

1) Preheat your oven.

 
2) Gather these items:

– shortening
– brown sugar
– white sugar
– 2 eggs
– Oats
– margarine/butter
– vanilla
– baking soda
– Chocolate chips

3) Add 1/2 cup margarine, 1/2 cup shortening, 1 cup of brown sugar, and a 1/2 cup of white sugar to a mixing bowl and beat the hell out of it until it’s creamy.

4) Add 1 teaspoon of vanilla and 2 eggs (any color, any size. don’t discriminate) and continue to whip it into submission.

5) In a separate bowl add 1 and 1/2 cups of flour, 1 teaspoon of baking soda, and a pinch or two of salt and stir the shit out of it.

6) In small parts add it to the egg and sugar mixture. Watch the flour powder fly! (that’s my favorite part)

7) Turn the mixer off for this next part. It’s best to do it with a spatula. Add in 3 cups of oats 1 cup at a time.

8) After the oats are well mixed add in 2 cups of chocolate chips and get those mixed in, too.

9) Taste test. But be careful! Only 1 taste is necessary. I’ve been know to test too much and before I know it the bowl is empty and no cookies are made.

10) Put a dozen spoonfuls on a cookie sheet and bake it for 11 minutes. Allow them to cool on the cookie sheet while the next batch bakes then move them to wire racks to finish cooling.

11) You’ll want to hide some for later because there’s not much better than eating a cookie in secret!

 

The Icers or How to Make A Royal Mess

Sugar cookies can be as much fun to make as they are to decorate. If you don’t like messes you might want to stop here. I don’t want to cause any aneurysms. I had the buttercream icing the right consistency. It tasted like I could devour the whole bag. Then I added the food coloring. The consistency went out the front door that one of the boys refuses to close upon entering or exiting the house.

Ooops.

It just made it messier. The boys thought it was amazing. All the swirling colors leaking and slipping from the  bag like they just couldn’t wait to land on a cookie. Much like the itchy bellies aching to steal a cookie.

Drip-arific.
Dip-tastic.
Smear-azing.
Swirlywoo.
Slipping off the cookie.
Slurped off fingers.
Spectacular
Splendid
Sugar cookie mess!

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If this is what the cookies look like you can imagine their hands looking like a Monet

On Cookies and Chance Encounters

Nanny gave the boys some Halloween cookies last weekend. They weren’t your normal cookie though; they were undecorated and came with all the tricks to decorate them yourself. 

I divided the cookies. I divided the icing and sprinkles and candy spheres. Then I let them work  play. And play they did. Bang’s spheres were rolling away and Crash laughed when I told Bang to grab his balls.

I wanted to step in and help. 
I wanted to step in and tell Bang that not all of the icing goes right in the middle.
I wanted to step in get him to spread the icing. 
I wanted to step in and make him decorate the cookies in a recognizable way.

These weren’t my cookies. They weren’t mine to decorate. They contained the mess to the cookie sheets so I kept my sound hole shut. They weren’t yelling at each other. They weren’t fighting over stupid, mundane things. They weren’t annoying each other just for the sake of pissing each other off. They weren’t driving their parents absolutely mental.

They were complimenting each other’s decorations. They were speaking kindly to one another. They were asking politely for what they needed from each other. Afterward they even shared their cookies with each other and with their lucky mom and dad. Bang gave away 2 of his own cookies. OF HIS OWN ACCORD! 

These cookies are magic. I need to buy more of these magic cookies. They tasted pretty good, too. Good enough to eat.

On another note…

DW saw a few postings on FB that there was a whale sighting just five minutes down the road from us (the whale was in the strait, not on the road). We grabbed the kids, grabbed the camera, and took off. There were some porposes playing nearby. Many dozens of them. They were a joy to watch, but they were farther off shore and tough to see clearly. However, it was a chance sighting on several other accounts. We have seen whales in this area before, but they were pilot whales, also called blackfish. This time it was a humpback whale. We were thrilled to see his white fin. You can imagine our surprise then when we saw him breach. He would rocket straight up out of the water, flop over and splash a splash equal to that of Bang in the tub. In DW’s nearly 40 years of living here, she’s never see the likes of a whale breaching in this area. It was amazing to watch as he breached 3-4 more times. DW snapped a few shots, but with the humpback being far away, they turned out blurry. However, a gentleman nearby got some great shots.

©Rob Smith

Incredible…

The Bakeries

Crash spent the night at Nanny and Pop’s house last night. So what did Bang I and I do while Mom was out shopping?

We made sugar cookie dough, of course.

Then we watched Dr. Seuss’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

He lost interest when the funny parts were over. He didn’t care for the singing and the true meaning of Christmas. Bah humbug…

Anyway, we made the dough, put it in the fridge to chill, watched the Grinch, then went to bed. This morning after breakfast, we checked the dough. Sure enough, it was chilled.

chill

But not this chilled. (Thanks Nat Geo)

This morning the wind was howling. It was definitely cold. This is Canadaland, after all. And it’s snowing. C’mon Bang, lets finish those cookies!

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“We are good of bakeries,” he told his mother. We’re not bakers when we’re cooking. We’re bakeries. Yesterday, he worn an apron. I wish I would have gotten a picture of him. He didn’t need it this morning to cut out the cookies.

After making some normal sized cookies, he wanted to make the tiny ones. Give’r buddy. If he messed it up I’d just roll it flat and start over. Just like Play Doh. He placed and pushed them carefully and there were no mess ups!  Probably because Woody was watching carefully. Elfis’s hangover got the better of him and he has keeled over.

Now to make the buttercream icing…

Mmmmm cookies…

If you want my sugar cookie recipe, I stole it from Georgie Bowers.

And if you want my buttercream recipe, I stole it from Karlynn Johnston (aka The Kitchen Magpie).

Side note: If you missed yesterday’s Saturday Share, head over there now and share a link. 

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Carefully adding his favorite color

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Our finished product. Good enough to eat!