Questions I Asked Nanny and Pop

I’ve asked my own parents these questions. And these questions, too. I wish I would have asked DW’s dad these questions, too. It’s a good way to get a glimpse into the past. Sometimes a past I had no part of. A past before my own d a existence. Wonder where I was before I existed…

It’s too hot to ask questions that deep. Over my head. Off the diving board deep end. 

1. What are 3 words your parents would use to describe you?

Moe: Spoiled brat (according to my siblings), Pretty, and a hard worker (I was house cleaning for people when I was 10)
Pop: Good, hard worker (using a pick and sledgehammer when I was 9), Shy

2. How did you meet you meet Pop?

Moe: Taralee (DW) introduced us at Tim Hortons the day she got her driver’s license


3. What was your favorite vacation?

Moe: My trips to Cuba. Was there for 1 week the first time and 2 weeks the second. 
Pop: Cuba. I didn’t have to cook or make beds or anything…


4. What’s one memory of DW that makes you laugh?

Moe: I can laugh now, but it wasn’t funny at the time… She wanted a pair of bib overalls and she kicked and screamed and bawled until she got them. Then she cut the legs off them! Also, when she was a baby (I was carrying her) we got off a plane she pooped herself. Her aunt picked her up and shit was running down her leg!
Pop: We had found a chip that was shaped like an ear. We told her there was a recall on potato chips because a guy had died on the assembly line and ended up in the chips.


5. What’s something you miss from “the good ol’ days?”

Moe: Neighbors and lots of company and people around all time. Now there’s barely anyone…
Pop: No worries


6. If you get reincarnated as an animal, what do you hope to come back as?

Moe: A little kitty to crawl into somebody’s lap and they can pet me all day.
Pop: A frog


7. What’s your karaoke song?

Moe: Nothing… I don’t like singing and I don’t know any songs right through. I used to like to sing “Can I Have This Dance” by Ann Murray
Pop: “If I had a Million Dollars” 


8. What was high school like for you?

Moe: Terrible, because I didn’t like my homeroom teacher, Mr. Horswell. I didn’t like gym and they made me do it. I also didn’t like French because I couldn’t understand it.
Pop: Boring, because after grade 5 had no interest in school whatsoever


9. What are 3 things (shows, sports, etc…) you like to watch on T.V

Moe: Game shows, Family Feud with Steve Harvey, Wheel of Fortune, Who Wants To be A Millionaire, The Price Is Right, Jeopardy. Oh, and cooking shows like “Master Chef”
Pop: Racing and pretty much any game show…


10. What was your first car? What color was it? Do you remember how much it cost? 

Moe: A blue 1987 Ford LTD
Pop: Green ’66 Pontiac Lauretian

Go Ask Your Father: Pizza, Condensation, Swimming lessons, and Wine

m26m_spokescandies

There are light ones. There are dark ones. DW likes the dark ones. There are big ones, and small ones. There are brown ones and blue ones and yellow ones and orange ones and green ones. Some have nuts, some have caramel, some have pretzels, some have peanut butter. Everyone has their favorite. There’s so much we can learn from a bowl of M&M’s. So much difference, so much deliciousness just hanging out in one place. If only the world were as friendly as your favorite bag of Ms.

1. When and where was pizza first made?

Who cares? All that matters is that we have pizza. I usually don’t trust people who don’t like pizza. It’s the perfect food. You can get your veggies. You can get your meat and dairy and grains. It’s the entire food pyramid on one perfect slice. Hot from the oven and you have a slice of heaven in your hand. However, where and when it came to Earth is much debated. First, you have to define what constitutes “pizza”. If it’s just a flat bread then pizza goes back to the ancient Babylonians, Israelites and Egyptians. If pizza is to have toppings then pizza goes back to the ancient Greeks and Romans who baked flat breads topped with olive oil and available spices. These days, though, we call that focaccia breads. The pizza we know and love with tomato sauce, cheese and stuff originated in Italy. It had been selling like hotcakes by street vendors. However, Raffaele Esposito from Naples is credited with the first pizza. Plagiarised pizza?

2. Why is there water on the outside?

That cup of ice cold Coke is sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon shop. Water puddles on the table at the bottom of my margarita glass. It’s because there’s water in the air. It’s hanging out there as vapor. All invisible and innocent thinking it’s the highest state water can exist in. Then it bumps into the cold glass. The sudden chill makes its molecules slow down and move closer together, like DW and I do in bed on a January night. When all those molecules collect (like the family in bed on Sunday morning) they form visible drops of water. We call it condensation. You can see it on the bathroom mirror after a hot shower. On your eye glasses when you come in from the cold. On glass of ice cold Coke or a frosty margarita.

3. Can we practice swimming again?

A friend has allowed us to use their pool. Found out today it’s 18 feet wide and 32 feet long and about 52 inches deep. This equals 359,424 cubic feet of cool, refreshing water. They love the company, we love the pool (and the company, too). They have 2 incredible granddaughters who the boys enjoy playing and swimming with. Their oldest swims like a fish, like our oldest. The first time we were invited to their pool, their youngest (4 years old) was just learning to swim. Today she was swimming to the bottom for the sinker toys like she was a dolphin. We convinced Bang he could do that, too, if he practiced. Off came his life jacket. Bang said he wanted to practice for 2 minutes. 30 minutes later and he was still practicing. Swimming is a life skill, especially for us because live on an island. By end of summer I predict he’ll be a dolphin, too. Good thing he likes fish.

4. What’s that wine called?

yt-moscato-263x820Remember that friend who invites us to swim in her pool? She give you wine to drink while your kids are swimming. This our secret spot so don’t bother asking. I’d have to kill you if I told you. Today, as a repayment, we took her a bottle of wine. The boys know we enjoy a glass of wine. That ain’t no secret. So they tell us when they’re 19 (the legal drinking age here in Canadaland) they’ll drink wine with us. The wine we chose to share today was a Yellowtail Moscato.

This [yellow tail] Moscato is everything a great wine should be – zingy, refreshing and easy to drink. Passionfruit and melon. Well chilled on its own or with spicy Asian-inspired food. ~ Yellowtail website

It’s good wine and I don’t even like melon. It’s slightly bubbly, slightly sweet, and when you’re poolside, it’s as delicious as a Raffaele Esposito special.

1ad4608d366f308522da22f147cce0dd-wine-funnies-wine-funny-quotes

Questions I Asked My Kids About Camping

It’s official. We’re booked for 3 nights at a campsite in PEI. We’re meeting DW’s brother and his wife and 4 kids there. The boys are excited for multiple reasons, A) we get to sleep in a tent and B) they’ll get to play with their cousins for three days.

Also, we have a free pass for two nights of camping in a national/provincial park. The PEI trip is booked at a family campground. Wide open spaces, but lots for the kids to do. Bang wants to go (and I do, too) camping in a forest (as you’ll read in just a moment). So perhaps we’ll use the 2 night pass for forest camping. We might need a few practice nights in the backyard. Though, what I’m most nervous about what to feed the youngest, pickiest eater besides cookies, granola bars, and crackers.

1. What does it mean to go camping?

Crash: When you put up a tent, talk in a tent, roast marshmallows and stay up til 12:00
Bang: Like roast marshmallows, have fun, and sleep in a tent. You don’t do that at real bedtime

2. What is going to be the most fun about camping?

Crash: Going to Shinning Waters, if we go. (Shinning Waters is a water park so his favorite thing about our planned camping trip has nothing do with camping)
Bang: Roasting marshmallows, probably. Because i burn them

3. What do you want to do while we’re camping?

Crash: Doing our own comedy shows inside the tent
Bang: Go to sleep… err no.. Eat cookies

4. How many nights to you want to sleep in a tent?

Crash: 4 would be good
Bang: 30 years

5. What animal would be really cool to see while we’re camping?

Crash: A moose or an owl
Bang: Deer. I haven’t seen one in like ages

 

6. What is something you hope doesn’t happen while we’re camping?

Crash: The tent catches on fire
Bang:  A bear breaks into our tent

7. What would you do if we saw a bear while camping?

Crash: I know what I do! I would slowly walk away from it because in a book it told you how escape from a bear and it said to slowly walk away from it.
Bang: Get our guns out and shoot in the nose?
Me: Do we have guns?
Bang: We have toy guns.
Me: So you want to shoot it with a Nerf dart?
Bang: Yeah

8. Where (besides PEI) do you want to go camping?

Crash: Disneyland
Bang: In a forest. I’ve never been into the forest.

9. What are we going to eat when we go camping?

Crash: Probably granola bars and cheese and crackers
Bang: Junk, like cookies, granola bars. Oh, don’t forget my favorite kind of crackers from playgroup.

10. What is something we should do to be safe while camping?

Crash: Always have a first aid kit and don’t lose your mind and wander off.
Bang: Stick together so we don’t get lost.

Camping Quote

Questions I Asked My Kids

The boys are just 2 (and piece) school days away from summer vacation. Monday. Tuesday. An hour and half next Friday to pick up report cards. Their systems on shut down now. They just want it to end. The days are long and sunny and warm and, really, who wants to be in school? No more than anyone wants to be at work. 

I had the questions written last night but forgot to ask them at bedtime. So I meant to ask them at breakfast time but things ’round here got a bit hairy trying to get the oldest to realize that no matter how much he fought us he was still going to school. So I asked them at the bus stop. They answered the last question just as the bus pulled up. So there are only 8 this week instead of the normal 10. However, I’m sure you’ll find just as much humor crammed into these 8. 

1. What are some things you want to do this summer?

Crash: go to the fair, play video games all day, and go to the beach
Bang: go to the fair, get new hamsters, go dumpster diving

2. Why does the sky turn pink or orange when the sun sets?

Crash: because some of the sun is blocked by hills and trees
Bang: Because the sun is behind an orange cloud so it makes the sky orange

3. How many peanut M&M’s can dad put in his mouth?

Crash: 30 because you have  big mouth
Bang: 10

4. what time should bedtime be over summer break?

Crash: 12:00
Bang: 1 o’clock in the morning

5. What scares you?

Crash: wasps
Bang: a rattlesnake 
*Nova Scotia does not have any poisonous snakes

6. What makes you laugh?  

Crash: Cat videos
Bang: When you’re head’s on your butt

7. If you could trade feet with an animal, what animal’s feet would you have?

Crash: Elephant’s, no doubt
Bang: Horse because I want hooves

8. Would you rather have mom’s hair or dad’s?

Crash: Dad’s. but it makes no sense because you don’t have hair
Bang: Dad’s

Go Ask Your Father: Soundproof Rooms, Thor’s Hammer, Hiccups, and Brain Messages

*SPOILER ALERT

We’re reading Hatchet. Brian has survived a plane crash and has been stranded in a Canadian forest for 4 days. The night before, he discovered a turtle that had laid some eggs and buried them on the shore Brian both crashed into and is now camped next to.

You should have seen the expression on Crash’s face when he found out they were food and Brian would be eat them raw.

“There’s turtles in them!”
“Are there chickens in the eggs we eat?”
“No.”
“Well, there are no turtles,  in the turtle eggs.”
“How do they get inside the egg then?”
“Okay, there are turtles in there, but they haven’t grown into turtles, yet. There’s just the yolk.”

Crash would never be able to survive in the wilderness.

1. How do they make soundproof rooms?

If we had one they would be in and life would sound sweet. Or I would be in it and life would sound sweet. The quietest room hold the Guinness Record, Orfield Labs in Minneapolis at -9 decibels. The walls, floor, and ceiling absorb all sound. It is anechoic. There is no echo. Derek Muller visited and recorded an episode about this room on his YouTube channel, Veritasium. The cheap way to build a sound proof room is to hang thick blankets on the walls. The thicker the better. If you want serious sound proofing you’ll need sound absorbing material like “Sound Sponge”. Duct tape works wonders, too. It really works to muffle the sounds coming from your kids sound hole.

2. How heavy is Thor’s hammer?

My original answer was “Too heavy for anyone but Thor to lift.” I was basing my answer on Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s explanation. He assumed it was forged of the core of a neutron star – among the densest matter in the universe. A teaspoon of a neutron star would weigh about a billion tonnes. Therefore, a hammer forged of such material would weigh “as much as a herd of 300 billion elephants.” However, the Hammer was forged in a neutron star out of a fictional metal called Uru which is native to Thor’s world of Asgard. So it weighs just 42.3 pounds.

3. What makes hiccups go away?

It’s just a simple problem caused by spasms in your diaphragm. What makes them stop?

  • Swallow something sweet
  • Swallow something sour
  • Eat peanut butter, honey, chocolate
  • Sip hot sauce
  • Breathe in to a paper bag
  • Place a paper towel atop a glass of water and drink through the towel
  • Stick your fingers in your ears and drink through a straw
  • Press the palm of your hand with the thumb of your other hand
  • Hold your breath or cover your mouth and nose with cupped hands and breathe slowly
  • Stand on your head
  • Gargle with ice water
  • Get someone to scare you
  • Pull out your tongue

How do you get rid of hiccups?

4. How does my brain send messages to my body?

Bang is still fascinated by brains. How they work. What they look like. What they do. Like Navajo code, neurons are brain cells that only communicate with each other. And no, you can’t kill brain cells. Though, I swear some people aren’t functioning with a full set.  The neurons are the cells while the synapses are the connections. The axons are the lines in which the messages move. Our spinal cord is responsible for holding that line. All muscle movement messages come through your spinal cord. So while I’m sitting here typing this my brain is sending messages to my fingers (though my fingers can’t keep up sometimes) telling them where to move so that I press the correct letter. I guess it could be compared the connections between the keyboard and the monitor and the internet. If you’re curious to know more, watch this excellent Crash Course video to learn more.

silence-quotes-wallpaper

Bonus question: Where else can you find me?

Follow me on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram!

Go Ask Your Father: Fitbit HR, AC/DC, Baths, and Aluminum Cans

In case you missed it this morning, I published yesterday’s Questions I Asked My Kids. Wonder what kind of animal hair Crash and Bang had?

To hell with the intro. Lets answer questions.

1. How does a Fitbit know your heart rate?

A tiny nurse fairy is packed comfortably in each one. I imagine she’s busty and her scrubs are a size or two too small. This is what I thought of while I on my last run. Except the fairy nurse was DW and it was Halloween. I’m sure she’s turning 50 shades of red now, but it sure helped me run faster. Alas, there are no sexy nurse fairies in your Fitbit. Just a flashy green light that uses a technology called photoplethysmography. It’s the same technology hospitals use in those finger and ear clips that also measure heart rates. My Fitbit tells me my heart rate is around 155 beats per minute when I’m running. I’m not sure if that’s from running or from imagining DW as my nurse.

2. What’s AC/DC?

92-high_voltage_symbolThey are what my boys call, The Masters of Rock and RollIt’s also my attempt to get them listening to the music I listened to when I listened to the music my parents listened to. AC/DC. Queen. Led Zeppelin. You know… that good ole rock and roll. AC/DC formed in 1973 in Sydney, Australia and are still playing. Their guitars are electric. Their guitars work on AC electricity. Alternating current is the kind of electricity that powers our homes and large rock concert arenas. The current flows both directions through the wire because of the magnet that is spun through coil of copper wire. With the poles of the magnet alternating as it spins so do to the electrons in the wire. Whereas DC, or direct current, supplies constant voltage and the electricity flows in just one direction. The battery in your favorite toy provide a direct current. The electricity flows out of one node, through the wires in your Buzz or Woody and back into the other end of the battery. And this, in fact, is exactly how the band got their name. Except it was from their sister’s sewing machine, not Buzz and Woody.

3. Why do I need a bath? 

Not me. I know I why I need a bath. I stink like a ass end of a fully loaded garbage truck. You, my sons, need a bath because you were playing in the dirt pile again. I’m not sure if you were playing in it or burying yourself in it. From the looks of it you must have been rubbing it all over yourself like Zsa Zsa Gabor puts on make-up. When you take bath, my favorite little dirt balls, please use soap. It’s kind of magical when it comes to removing the layers of grime you have caked on. Soap molecules have two ends. Lets call them a top and bottom (head and arse sound more fun, though). The top part is hydrophobic, it hates water and tries to get away. The bottom part is hydrophilic, it loves water. Remember that oil and water don’t mix and the oil rises to the surface? Well, the hydrophobic end of the soap molecule clings to that oil and dirt from your skin and become suspended in drops of water. When you rinse off, away go those water hating, dirt carrying molecules. Essentially, you make room for more dirt.

4. How much am I worth if I were an aluminum can?

First, I need to thank Antoniusrex for this question. He posed it in his latest post, Aluminum. I thought it was a fun question so I’m going to answer it here, too. Though slightly differently, and more in depth.

Here’s how I did the math…

I am 150 pounds (soaking wet). Google says there are 68,039 grams in 150 pounds (because there are 453.592 grams per pound). Today’s aluminum can weighs about 15 grams. If you do the division (but you don’t have to because I already did) that means I weigh as much as 4,536 aluminum cans. If you take that to recycling depot you’ll get 5¢, $.05, a nickel, per can. I’ll do the math for you again and 4,536 nickels equals $226.80. That’s barely enough to feed the hungry hungry hippos kids for a couple weeks. Guess it’s good that I’m not really refundable. I’m pretty worthless if I were. My Fitbit says my heart rate is 59 so I know I’m not an aluminum can and I will therefore Keep Calm and Be Human.

keep calm and rock on

Go Ask Your Father: Images, Uvulas, PostMortem, and Amusement Parks

We made it to Friday, y’all. Some of you are finished school for the summer. Others are nearly finished. We still have the rest of the month. The kids are pretty much on autopilot now. They’re just cruising through to the end the year.

1. Why am I upside down in the spoon?

Perhaps it’s not you that is upside down. Perhaps it is the spoon. Or better yet, perhaps there is no you or spoon and this is just some computer simulated universe. The real reason is because the spoon is concave- or indented (like a cave). The back of the spoon is convex, and therefore you look mostly normal, whatever your normal is. However, on the concave side, light is not reflected at straight angles as if you were looking at yourself in the knife. Instead, because of its concaveness, light at the bottom of the spoon is reflected upward while light at the top is reflected downward. This effectively flips your image.

2. What’s that dangly thing in my throat?

This is the kind of question you get when your child is inspecting their sore throat in a mirror and notices a little punching bag (speed bag) shaped piece of skin way in the back. Called a uvula [you-view-lah] (not to be confused with a vulva, that’s something completely different). Once upon a time it was believed to help guide food and water as humans were the only mammals to not bend over to eat and drink. Then it was thought to induce the gag reflex. It was also believed to cause chronic coughing which could easily be cured with a simple clipping. These people would undergo uvulopalatopharyngoplasty to have it removed. It was also suspected of causing cardiovascular problems like SIDS. Today, scientists think that it helps with speech as humans are the only animals who have a uvula.

3. What happens to bodies after they die?

I’m not sure if he was looking for a scientific answer or not. I’m hoping not, because I’m not NCIS or a mortician. So instead I opted with what people would like to have done with their bodies after their time here on Earth comes to an end. Some opt to be cremated. This turns their body to ash to be stored in urns and pendants or taken to a location of significance and scattered. Neil DeGrasse Tyson doesn’t want this as the heat from his body is released into space and is of no assistance to Earth. Whereas if he were buried he could “feed” the Earth as the Earth fed him through his life. So some choose to be buried. Some chose to donate their bodies to science. There are now new and creative ways to be memorialized. For example, you can be turned into a tree. Or more specifically, you are cremated then your ashes are used to grow a tree and you are buried so your tree can flourish. You have your cremains pressed into a vinyl record, or put into fireworks, or even into tattoo ink.

4. Can we go to an Amusement park?

Bang has very few fears when it comes to amusement park rides. A fair (think traveling carnival) comes to town at the beginning of every summer and Bang loves to ride the rides. Just last summer he was finally tall enough to ride some of the adult rides. There were a couple he still wasn’t tall enough for and he made his disappointment plainly obvious. This is not how I was at his age. I hated roller coasters. At one park, my parents would tell me every ride that I did get on went upside down. Including the log flume. Fortunately, I wasn’t quite gullible enough to believe them. Now he wants to go to a “real” amusement park to ride “real” roller coasters. Including the ones that go upside down.

Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep 45

450 questions! I never dreamed it would go this far. I’m pulling questions out of my ears (to keep it polite). If you can think of any fun ones feel free to ask them in the comment section below and they’ll appear in future episodes along with the boys’ answers. Also, if you have your own kids between the ages of 0 and 100, feel free to ask them these questions. Their responses are sure to delight. And if you post them, be sure to let me know!

*Disclaimer: Please make sure your mouth is free of food and drink before reading. I am not responsible for you spraying your keyboard.

1. What might aliens from outer space look like?

Crash: They might have antennas, purple bumpy skin, one eye, and extremely dirty finger and toenails which are very sharp. And it has spikes for eyelids
Bang: 6 eyes, 5 arms, and 2, heads. They’re brown, black, white, and green and 16,000 inches tall
DW: Aren’t they green with funny shaped heads and big eyes?

2. If you could build anything in the backyard, what would you build?

Crash: A big big big water slide going down with a ramp at the end to jump into a big pool
Bang: One more house so we could have 2 furnitures
DW: A pool

3. If you had to leave the house in an emergency, what 3 things would you take?

Crash: Monkey, my baby stuff, and my Guppie Book
Bang: The Wii, the refrigerator, and Penguin
DW: I’d “think” about taking the kids. Piper (the parrot), External hard drive, and my pendent with dad’s thumbprint and ashes

4. What’s the best thing about growing up?

Crash: You don’t have to listen to your parents anymore! JUST KIDDING! You get to have kids.
Bang: That I can yell at people. Because that’s what you and mom do!
DW: Margaritas and bed

5. What word makes you laugh?

Crash: Banana
Bang: White
DW: LOL I don’t know!

6. We just bought a droid. What should we name it?

Crash: Mechanoid
Bang: Battledoor
DW: Bitch  Jeeves, the Butler

7. What would you do if you were Dad?

Crash: Stay up late all night and play Minecraft
Bang: I would clean
DW: I can’t answer that. It’s not social media appropriate.

8. What would you do if you were mom?

Crash: Sit in front of the computer all day doing Relay for Life stuff and work stuff.
Bang: Snuggle my kids
DW: I am Mom.

9. If you could change anything about school, what would you change?

Crash: I would change a rule. I would allow all the fidget toys in school.
Bang: No math and no reading. Oh, and no writing. And nothing but play time.
DW: You would have a job there.

10. Did you have any dreams?

Crash: Me, you, and Bang (Mom was out) were sitting in the living room watching TV. Bang asks if we can go to the attic (we don’t have an attic) to see what is up there. We had to push open a trapdoor to make a hole then we put a ladder there. There was a ton of stuff up there. There was a candle on a dresser and next to it was a golden watch that mom was looking for, apparently. Turns out it was Guppie’s old watch. Then Bang runs over to see because we all knew mom was looking for it. Bang bumps the candle and the floor catches on fire and it spreads. Fortunately, we get everything valuable out of the attic and put them in a grocery bag. The items would shrink when we put them in so we could put LOADS of stuff in it. Then we exited the house and Dad pulls out his cell phone and calls 911 and says, “Uh, there’s a fire at out house. Could you come put it out?” Then when they get here the firemen were aliens and they didn’t use water to put out the fire. They peed on the fire. Then mom pulls home and she walks in like nothing happened. Then I woke up and was like “Whoa”.
Bang: Nope, no dreams.
DW: I think I did but I can’t remember them.

Questioning where else you can find me? I’m on Facebook and Twitter!

Go Ask Your Father: Hummingbirds, Potter, Recorder, and Clouds

Happy Friday!

The boys are off to Nanny’s for a sleepover. We’re off to our date night. Too bad it’s raining. Oh well, at least I’m not getting sunburned. I swear, if this rain keeps up I’m expecting the vampires to take up residence here. Please, dear Lord, don’t them be the sparkly kind!

How do hummingbirds drink?

Hummingbirds eat insects and and insect eggs. Over easy. Sometimes scrambled. Apparently their favorite is spider. So all you arachnophobes, the hummingbird is your best friend. However, they also feed from flowers. They will feed from your hummingbird feeder, too. I remember when we lived in Virginia we would have a dozen or more trying to feed from one feeder. It was amazing. (hint: to make your own hummingbird food boil 4 cups of water and 1 cup of sugar) Scientist once thought that they used their tongues as a wick. Recently, thanks to high speed footage, scientists have witnessed hummers using their tongues as a pump. Liquid is gathered on the end of their tongue. Then it contracts and the liquid is forced up their tongue into their mouth. Think of how you squeeze the last of the toothpaste out of the tube, it’s much the same motion. Except it’s their tongue, not a toothpaste tube.


Can I read Harry Potter?

Merlin’s beard! Of course you can. That would have been my answer had it been Crash who asked. However, Bang is only 5, and not quite ready for something that intense. We are Potterheads here. Bang will get his turn and I can’t wait. But I will. I started reading Harry to Crash when he was in 2nd grade. The first 3 books are basically an introduction. Things pick up and get scarier in book 4 The Goblet of Fire. We typically read a book then watch the movie and talk about the differences. I have read each book to him. He is now reading The Philosopher’s Stone on his own and I’m quite pleased. Pleased that he can read something that difficult on his own and pleased that he chose to on his own. He’d be Gryffindor for sure!

Can we make a recorder video?

Thank you music class. Never have I wanted smash an instrument as much as I’d like to smash that recorder. He has learned to play Hot Cross Buns. The iconic first song learned on any instrument. Wonder what AC/DC would sound like playing Hot Cross Buns? Over and over and over again he plays it. Mom, Dad, I’m sorry for that you had hear while I was learning to play the trumpet. Karma sucks ass. Anyway, I’m not musically gifted, but having learned the trumpet, I understand it a bit. So I taught Crash how to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Now he has two songs he plays on repeat. While no one was home, I learned Ode to Joy. One of these days, yes, we will make a video of us playing a duet. It’ll best be listened to with your speakers turned off.

Are the clouds in space?

My mom used to calls me a space cadet, not because go to space but because I space out. Bang was a bit confused. He sees the clouds up there, the sun up there, the moon up there, the stars up there, isn’t that all space? Nope. By Earth law, the Kármán line- where space officially begins- is at 100 km (62 miles) straight up. There is no definitive line between Earth and outer space. Just like there’s no definitive line between paying attention and spacing out. While the space station is 250 miles above the Earth, clouds can range anywhere from 0 feet (fog) and 53 miles (Noctilucent, or night clouds). That’s 9 miles shy of where space begins. Pretty much where I go when I space out. 

bonus:

Q: Where do astronauts go for a drink?
A: To the space bar!

Questions I Asked My Kids: ep 44

Tomorrow is Friday, y’all. Bring it!

DW and I are headed to a party tomorrow night, too. Date night! Bring it, too!

1. Where is the most awesomest place you have been?

Crash: I would say LegoLand but we’ve never been to LegoLand. So I’ll say The Cottage at the lake and Shining Waters (water park)
Bang: The hotel in Truro- it has an amazing pool

2. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Crash: Either an engineer or a racecar driver
Bang: A builder and a maid

3. Did you have any dreams last night?

Crash: I’m sure I did. Hold on… I’m 105% sure I did but I can’t remember it. I completely forget
Bang: Nope

4. What is something you would like to learn how to do?

Crash: Get free stuff from Amazon like a fidget spinner
Bang: Wiggle my eyebrows

5. Dad wants to get a new job. What job should he get?

Crash: A Clown! Just kidding… Baseball player for the Orioles.
Bang: Working at the grocery store

6. Mom wants to get a new job. What job should she get?

Crash: A mechanic
Bang: Putting tires on old cars

7. What would be a fun flavor for toothpaste?

Crash: Potato chip
Bang: Banana 

8. If you could fill a pool with anything fun to jump into, what would you use to fill it?

Crash: Sprinkles
Bang: Pretzel sticks

9. How far away is the sun?

Crash: 14,376 miles away
Bang: 13,000 miles

10. What age do you wish you were?

Crash: 18, because it just feels like a good age
Bang: 703 so I could work more jobs and be even smarter