Questions I Asked My Kids

I hope all my American family and friends enjoyed a very happy Thanksgiving. I miss the days of gathering at Grandma’s house. We’d feast, we’d slip into a turkey coma for a bit then we’d play some football in the front yard. I wish the boys were able to experience it, too. Not to worry though, we’ve got our own traditions going. We normally cook a turkey and stuff today to celebrate. However, today was just too crazy. This weekend will be for putting up outdoor decorations. As of this typing the only decorations we have up are the count down chain that’s currenly at 32 more sleeps. Have you started decorating yet?

1. What would be the best Christmas present for you?

Crash: A million bucks

Bang: Bey Blade Burst

2. What would be the worst Christmas present for you to get?

Crash: underwear

Bang: Coal, sticks and blueberries

3. What’s your favorite smell?

Crash: The lemon orange and cinnamon you boil on the stove

Bang: Hockey players

4. What’s your favorite thing about dad?

Crash: That you have cool glasses

Bang: That he’s really skinny, too, and not fluffy

5. What’s your favorite thing about mom?

Crash: That she lays with me for a long time at bedtime

Bang: That’s she’s really fluffy

6. Where is your favorite place in the house?

Crash: Living room where the Nintendo Switch is

Bang: In the basement or living room

7. Where is your favorite place to hide when we play Hide-n-Seek?

Crash: In the box in my closet

Bang: Basement corner in the toy room

8. What’s your favorite time of the day?

Crash: I like it from 8:30 to 4:30

Bang: When we have gym at school

9. What’s your favorite word?

Crash: Lightning

Bang: Boobies

10. What part of your body is your favorite?

Crash: My Hair

Bang: My ribs

If you ever question where else you can you find me, look no further than Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

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Letters to my Daughter

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Questions I Asked My Kids: ep55

1. If you opened a store what would you name it and what would you sell?

Crash: I would name it RC Cars and Trucks and and sell remote controlled vehicles – cars, trucks, hamsters, drones…
Bang: I would sell cans of soda, chips, some cakes and name it “The Junk Store”

2. If you could grow anything in the garden, what would you grow?

Crash: Jack’s giant beanstalk
Bang: More of me

3. If your stuffie could talk, what would it say?

Crash: He would say a lot of stuff like Lets play Minecraft and Can we snuggle?
Bang: I love you (and mom and dad, too)

4. If you were to draw me a picture right this instant, what would you draw?

Crash: I would draw that car on TV that goes 360 miles per hour
Bang: Scribbles

5. What sound do you like?

Crash: Chicken noises
Bang: Cats purring and sneezing dogs and cannons blowing off because they’re sounds I can make

6. If you could ask a wild animal anything what would you ask it?

Crash: I would ask a cheetah, “Can I adopt you?” so when I miss the bus we can zoom there
Bang: I’d ask a giraffe to lift me way way high

7. If animals could drive, which one would be the most fun to ride with?

Crash: An elephant
Bang: A giraffe

elephant+car

8. What are three things you want to do this winter?

Crash: Build an igloo, have a snowball fight, and snowboard
Bang: Snowball fight, jump in gigantic snow piles and biff Frizbees

9. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Crash: A racecar driver… actually no. A robot designer
Bang: A cat sitter

10. What’s the funniest word you know?

Crash: Quack
Bang: Poopy (then whispers “type a-r-s-e”)

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Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep 54

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It was that time again. My 17th time in Canada, to be exact. I gave 16 times in the US. I’m done until January now. I gave blood this evening and as usual, the boys joined me. Bang is so curious. The nurse who took my blood was seriously impressed. He watched her swab my arm to clean it. He watched her put the needle in and fill the bag for testing. He then wandered over to watch a teacher from his school have her arm pierced, too. Then he watched the nurse pull the needle from my arm. He wanted to see where the needle had gone it but I didn’t remove the gauze for fear of blood spurting out and me bleeding out. The nurse even let him feel the bag that contained my pint of blood. He was intrigued by how warm it was.

If all goes as planned, he still wants to be a neurosurgeon when he grows up.


1. Where does wind come from?

Crash: Warm air collides with cold air and they make wind some how
Bang: Trees sneezing because I know what humility is (for the full explanation, see Instagram)

2. Why do I give blood?

Crash: So that if people have surgery, like me for example, and they need blood then they can use yours
Bang: So it doesn’t rot and you die

3. Will you give blood when you are old enough?

Crash: Yeah, if they invent a needle that you can’t feel at all. And I mean at all.
Bang: No, because I don’t want to get a needle

4. If you could change anything about our family what would it be?

Crash: Nothing or that my brother is never annoying making supid faces or makes fun of me when I’m humming
Bang: Our last names… we’d be the Michaels

5. What is your biggest worry?

Crash: That the sun will eventually will grow big and cover up all the planets and make Pluto warm
Bang: When I came in the house and no one was here and there was creepy music on but dad was really just hiding upstairs (I did this for Halloween)

6. Where is somewhere you would never want to live?

Crash: Afganistan because there’s war there
Bang: In Africa because their dances are really hard (he had an African dance/drum demonstration in school today)

7. If Taylor Swift came to our house right now, what would you tell her?

Crash: First I’d call my friend because she’s a “Swifty” then I’d tell Taylor to sing I Came In Like A Wrecking Ball I mean All About That bass No! Not that one… Shake It Off
Bang: To sing Shake It Off

8. Why do you not like to go to bed?

Crash: It takes me forever to fall asleep and there’s a ton of better things I could do like livestream Minecraft on YouTube all night
Bang: Because I want to stay up late and watch Justin Time on TV

9. How much wine will mom and dad drink after you go to bed?

Crash: 3 cups then fall asleep under the table
Bang: 15 million gallons

10. Which book character do you wish you could meet?

Crash: Alex and Conner from Land of Stories (I, Crash, highly recommend that one!)
Bang: Martha the trucker because I want to sit in the driver seat and drive a transfer truck

 

Every question where you can follow me? I have an answer for that…. Twitter, Facebook and Instagram

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Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep49

In case you haven’t looked at a calendar recently, today is Thursday. That means questions. This being the 49th, thereby the next being the 50th (I’m a math whiz like that), I have a little something planned for next week. Then two weeks after that will be the 52nd. One year of questions and I still haven’t asked them as many as they asked me today. As always, feel free to ask your kids, spouse, parents, some one elses kids or spouse or parents these questions. Just remember to tag me so I can get a laugh, too…

Now it’s time for some Grey’s Anatomy. Have you seen “The Good Doctor”? That’s the one about the autistic doctor. It’s really good. And, of course, “This Is Us” is just amazeballs.

1. Who is your favorite movie character?

Crash: R2D2
Bang: Stitch

2. If you could wake up tomorrow with a superpower, what superpower would you want to have?

Crash: Superspeed, fast motion mode so I could things really fast and really really neatly like clean the basement because that usually takes me an hour or two.
Bang: Super huge fists so I could punch bandits in the face

3. If you could have any 3 wishes granted, what would you wish for?

Crash: To meet DanTDM (Minecraft Youtuber), go on my tablet whenever I want, and that Nan would heal her arm faster (She broke her arm/shoulder last Friday)
Bang: More video games, To be in grade 4 so I could be an alter server, and stay up late every night

4. If all your clothes could only be one color, what color would you choose?

Crash: Green
Bang: Green… NO! blue.

5. If you could be a sound, what would it be?

Crash: Most likely a siren or a dirt bike engine
Bang: Hee Haw! like a donkey

6. What is the funniest thing that ever happened to you?

Crash: I was hit in the head by dad with a snowball while I was running away from him.
Bang: I haven’t even a clue… OH! I made Sharon (in the church choir) laugh by putting my fingers up to show her how charged my memory was for singing

7. If you could choose a new name for yourself, what would it be, and why?

Crash: Rhyman, because it’s my username for everything
Bang: Superman because I have a superman shirt and blue shorts…. or blackman because he saves people

8. What’s the coolest thing you saw someone do today?

Crash: I saw Terry (the school’s building manager) on the roof
Bang: My teacher did a magic trick. He put a red marker in his pocket then pulls out a black marker. But I knew how he did it beacuse he pulled it out of a different pocket

9. What are you proudest of in your life?

Crash: My name and my scar on my chest
Bang: That I sing in the church choir

10. If you could attach an animal part to yourself, what animal part would you want to have?

Crash: Either a cat tail or a fox tail, but probably a fox tail
Bang: I would want turkey feathers to tickle mom and say gobble gobble

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Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep48

Canadian Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Monday, to be precise. One day of work left until we hit homestretch. Tomorrow, I’ll be in a 1st and 2nd grade French class. Those 6 and 7 year olds will know far more French than I do. Unless they ask, “Puis-je aller aux toilettes?” I won’t have a clue what they’re saying. So they’ll get to speak English. They’ll be thankful for that. And so will I. There’s that silver lining I love so much.

1. If we had an airplane to take us on vacation right now, where would we go?

Crash: Legoland
Bang: South Korea

2. If we could go to Halifax but couldn’t use a car to get there, how do you think we could get there?

Crash: Giraffe because we could see everything since they’re so tall. I would name mine Steve.
Bang: In a plane

3. If you could have any animal in the world as a pet, where would you go to get it and what would it be?

Crash: I would get an eagle or a fox and I would get them from Hope for Wildlife.
Bang: It would be a giraffe and I would get it at the zoo so I could high high high and look in his mouth to see its 20 inch tongue

4. If you could do something just like your friend what would you do?

Crash: Stay up until 1:00 in the morning Snap Chatting
Bang: Speak French like Nolan. I can’t speak French, but I can speak British.

5. If you could change anything about school what would it be?

Crash: The amount of recess and phys. ed. time. More of both!
Bang: We don’t have to do work. We would play instead.

6. If you could change your name, would you want to and what name would you choose instead?

Crash: Luke, I guess.
Bang: Repooc

7. If you could build anything in the backyard, what would it be?

Crash: I would build a massive tree house that is significantly big with 3 stories.
Bang: I would build a wooden dog because I want a dog.

8. What’s your favorite smell?

Crash: Cookies or pizza
Bang: Bath bombs and mom’s perfume

9. Did anything happen in school to make you laugh?

Crash: Yeah. sort of… it was on the bus. Me and Matthew were sitting next to each other and we weren’t talking about real people, but we said if there were any girls who liked us but we didn’t like them we’d say, “here kiss my hand”.
Bang: Telling funny jokes on the teeter totter

10. What should we make a video about with the GoPro?

Crash: A video of me on my skateboard on a really big ramp at a skate park
Bang: Make a video about building Lego. I’ll build a windmill.

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Questions I Asked My Kids

If you are a parent of kid who can talk, you know how many questions they can asked in the run of a day. If you’re good you can answer the question truthfully and in such a way they can understand without raising more questions. However, once you’re aboard the question train, there’s no getting off. There’s no telling when your next stop will be.

It’ll be somewhere between 4th question and doubting your own existence.

To get even, I ask them some questions in return. Unfortunately, it has slightly backfired. They now look forward to Thursday question day. Sometimes they ask if we can do Thursday questions on Tuesday. I’ve come to enjoy it. I learn a little bit more about them and how those gears turn in their little heads.

As always, feel free to ask your own kids these questions. Or any questions. This is the 46th time I’ve asked them. Just make sure you tag me in your post so I can read their answers!

1. What would be the awesomest thing to build out of Lego?
Crash: A really big house that is my size that I didn’t have to pay rent and had a lock on it
Bang: A skyscraper for real life so you can go up and see the whole world. But no stomping!

2. What animal would be the most fun to ride?
Crash: A frog if it was the right size for me to ride. It would be fun to ride Yoshi too
Bang: A camel

3. What animal would you NOT want to ride?
Crash: Turtle because they’re slow
Bang: Rhinoceros

4. How would you learn if you didn’t go to school?
Crash: Home schooled
Bang: Do school at home

5. What song will you request to listen to in the truck?
Crash: Glorious by Macklemore
Bang: Blue Bells by AC/DC

6. What would be a cool flavor for toothpaste?
Crash: Goldfish
Bang: Pop (Coke)

7. If I wrote a book about you, what should I call it?
Crash: Crash the Smart, Awesome, and Dabbing Person
Bang: I’m Awesome (DW says it should be called “Cranky MacCranky Pants)

8. What causes earthquakes?
Crash: When two parts of islands collide and it shakes them
Bang: When the earth gets too shaky from too much wind or it’s spinning too fast

9. How many M&M’s do you think will fit in your mouth?
Crash: 150
Bang: 15 million because I love M&M’s
DW: All of them

10. What do you think of mom and dad’s new glasses?
Crash: Yours are sorta funky looking but they’re cool at the same time and mom’s make her look pretty
Bang: Perfect and perfect

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Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep 45

The First Questions I Asked My Kids happened February 11, 2016. Since then, I’ve had 44 episodes. That would be 440 questions. Unfairly, that’s how many they have asked me just this evening.

I thought today would be a good day for a throw back Thursday. Here are the 10 questions I asked them 581 days ago. Lets see how they’re answers differ almost 2 years later.

  1. What do you want to be when you grow up?
    Crash: A video game designer or a racecar driver but probably a video game designer
    Bang: Builder and a maid (that hasn’t changed for a long time)
  2. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
    Crash: I’d have the power to do magic like Harry Potter but not exactly like Harry Potter because when I snap my fingers I could make myself rich
    Bang: Spring arms and Flying
  3. What are the three best things about being you?
    Crash: That I’m different from everybody else, that I have lots of stuffies I like to snuggle and I have a family to love
    Bang: That I get to watch TV, get to have trucks and play, and I love school
  4. Can you name one thing that scares you?
    Crash: Dying and my brother when he jumps out of nowheres
    Bang: Snakes, coyotes, and wolves
  5. What is the most disgusting thing you can think of?
    Crash: My brother when comes downstairs naked
    Bang: When people at school don’t flush the toilet after they poop
  6. What’s something that makes you angry?
    Crash: My brother and when I get crushed in Splatoon (video game)
    Bang: Sometimes you when you send me to my room
  7. What are you good at?
    Crash: Mario Kart, writing stories, reading, science, and snuggling
    Bang: Biking, scootering, squishing crab apples, and hockey and reffing basketball
  8. What animal would you like to be?
    Crash: Fox
    Bang: A giraffe (I’m still waiting for that 22 inch tongue)

  9. What’s the best thing about being a kid?
    Crash: We fit in the treehouse better than dad
    Bang: Get to go to school and get easy things to do like easy math and grown ups have to do the hardest thing in the world
  10. Name two things we should do as a family on the weekend.
    Crash: Watch Harry Potter or gets lots of Pokemon and have a Pokemon tournament
    Bang: Sleep together in your gigantic bed and I’ll sleep next to you and spend time in the living room eating pancakes

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Questions I Asked Nanny and Pop

I’ve asked my own parents these questions. And these questions, too. I wish I would have asked DW’s dad these questions, too. It’s a good way to get a glimpse into the past. Sometimes a past I had no part of. A past before my own d a existence. Wonder where I was before I existed…

It’s too hot to ask questions that deep. Over my head. Off the diving board deep end. 

1. What are 3 words your parents would use to describe you?

Moe: Spoiled brat (according to my siblings), Pretty, and a hard worker (I was house cleaning for people when I was 10)
Pop: Good, hard worker (using a pick and sledgehammer when I was 9), Shy

2. How did you meet you meet Pop?

Moe: Taralee (DW) introduced us at Tim Hortons the day she got her driver’s license


3. What was your favorite vacation?

Moe: My trips to Cuba. Was there for 1 week the first time and 2 weeks the second. 
Pop: Cuba. I didn’t have to cook or make beds or anything…


4. What’s one memory of DW that makes you laugh?

Moe: I can laugh now, but it wasn’t funny at the time… She wanted a pair of bib overalls and she kicked and screamed and bawled until she got them. Then she cut the legs off them! Also, when she was a baby (I was carrying her) we got off a plane she pooped herself. Her aunt picked her up and shit was running down her leg!
Pop: We had found a chip that was shaped like an ear. We told her there was a recall on potato chips because a guy had died on the assembly line and ended up in the chips.


5. What’s something you miss from “the good ol’ days?”

Moe: Neighbors and lots of company and people around all time. Now there’s barely anyone…
Pop: No worries


6. If you get reincarnated as an animal, what do you hope to come back as?

Moe: A little kitty to crawl into somebody’s lap and they can pet me all day.
Pop: A frog


7. What’s your karaoke song?

Moe: Nothing… I don’t like singing and I don’t know any songs right through. I used to like to sing “Can I Have This Dance” by Ann Murray
Pop: “If I had a Million Dollars” 


8. What was high school like for you?

Moe: Terrible, because I didn’t like my homeroom teacher, Mr. Horswell. I didn’t like gym and they made me do it. I also didn’t like French because I couldn’t understand it.
Pop: Boring, because after grade 5 had no interest in school whatsoever


9. What are 3 things (shows, sports, etc…) you like to watch on T.V

Moe: Game shows, Family Feud with Steve Harvey, Wheel of Fortune, Who Wants To be A Millionaire, The Price Is Right, Jeopardy. Oh, and cooking shows like “Master Chef”
Pop: Racing and pretty much any game show…


10. What was your first car? What color was it? Do you remember how much it cost? 

Moe: A blue 1987 Ford LTD
Pop: Green ’66 Pontiac Lauretian

Questions I Asked My Kids

The boys are just 2 (and piece) school days away from summer vacation. Monday. Tuesday. An hour and half next Friday to pick up report cards. Their systems on shut down now. They just want it to end. The days are long and sunny and warm and, really, who wants to be in school? No more than anyone wants to be at work. 

I had the questions written last night but forgot to ask them at bedtime. So I meant to ask them at breakfast time but things ’round here got a bit hairy trying to get the oldest to realize that no matter how much he fought us he was still going to school. So I asked them at the bus stop. They answered the last question just as the bus pulled up. So there are only 8 this week instead of the normal 10. However, I’m sure you’ll find just as much humor crammed into these 8. 

1. What are some things you want to do this summer?

Crash: go to the fair, play video games all day, and go to the beach
Bang: go to the fair, get new hamsters, go dumpster diving

2. Why does the sky turn pink or orange when the sun sets?

Crash: because some of the sun is blocked by hills and trees
Bang: Because the sun is behind an orange cloud so it makes the sky orange

3. How many peanut M&M’s can dad put in his mouth?

Crash: 30 because you have  big mouth
Bang: 10

4. what time should bedtime be over summer break?

Crash: 12:00
Bang: 1 o’clock in the morning

5. What scares you?

Crash: wasps
Bang: a rattlesnake 
*Nova Scotia does not have any poisonous snakes

6. What makes you laugh?  

Crash: Cat videos
Bang: When you’re head’s on your butt

7. If you could trade feet with an animal, what animal’s feet would you have?

Crash: Elephant’s, no doubt
Bang: Horse because I want hooves

8. Would you rather have mom’s hair or dad’s?

Crash: Dad’s. but it makes no sense because you don’t have hair
Bang: Dad’s

Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep 47

Today was Field Trip Day for Bang and his class. DW and I were privledged enough to get to chaperone since we have our background checks done and child abuse registry filed. We’re safe around kids. 

Just not our own, on occassion. 

The trip itself is worthy of it’s own post.

Now for the laughs…

1. What was your favorite part about today?

Bang: I loved touching the fish at the fish hatchery
Crash: Going to the computer lab to work on my “History of Basketball” project

2. How many kids do you want to have when you grow up?

Bang: 13
Crash: Geez! One kid.

3. What will their names be?

Bang:  Jonathan, Akrum, Spear, Lainey, David, Nolan, Aiden, Maiden, Sara, Lightning, and Mandy
Crash: If it’s a girl then her name will be Ginny. If it’s a boy, he’ll be Albus.

4. What pets will your kids have?

Bang: Dog, cat, and parrot. cameleon, lizard, tiger, lion, bear, babboon, elephant, skunk, mouse, hippopotamus, wolf
Crash: A cat

5. Where do you want to go on your next field trip?

Bang: To the fire tower to look for fires.
Crash: We’re going to St. F.X. tomorrow. There this place in India and someone took a picture of it and it’s a small small small basketball court and no else has ever found it. I want to take a field trip there. It would be fun. But it’s in India and we’d have to speak Indian.

6. How many people live on Earth?

Bang: Several
Crash: 7 billion

7. What time will you wake up in the morning?

Bang: 8:45 am
Crash: 6:00 so I can play lots of video games before my field trip

8. What is Dad good at?

Bang: Vacuuming
Crash: Editing videos

9. What is Mom good at?

Bang: Snuggling
Crash: Saying bad words

10. What is your brother good at?

Bang: He’s good at playing Lego Star Wars on the Wii, watching TV, and throwing temper tantrums
Crash: There’s more than one. Video games (just like me, following in my footsteps), giving me pain that’s for sure, and coloring