Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep 65

silly blog

Today’s your lucky day, folks. It’s a double post kind of day. I was going to write about our trip last night after the boys were in bed. I just didn’t have it in me, though. I got’er done today, though. And since today is Thursday, ’round here it’s also known as Questionday, there are some questions to ask. Let’s see what their creative minds come up with today.

Here we go again…

1.What was your favorite part of our trip?

Crash: Probably shopping and the Body Museum
Bang: The Body museum… No! Everything!

2. What was your favorite part of Body World RX?

Crash: The hearts and the smoking part
Bang: The guy split right down in half so we could see his brain

3. If you could give one gift to every child in the world, what would you give them?

Crash: A shelter and lots of money
Bang: Diggers

4. What do you want to be famous for?

Crash: Playing video games or collecting Pokemon
Bang: Painting (I’m already famous for that because I paint a lot)

5. What does your name mean?

Crash: Awesomeness
Bang: Truck

6. What three words best describe you?

Crash: Funny, Cool, Good looking
Bang: Smart, Awesome, Gangsta

7. Did anything make you laugh today?

Crash: Yeah, my friend at lunch kept making ridiculous faces
Bang: Yeah, when me and my brother were wrestling, he took me down and I giggled

8. Did you help anyone today?

Crash: I helped my friend because she accidentally knocked over her pencil case and everything exploded onto the floor.
Bang: No, because no one needed help.

9. If you could choose a new name for yourself, what name would you pick?

Crash: Pickachu
Bang: Logan

10. What food would make the grossest ice cream flavor?

Crash: Ham
Bang: Strawberry, orange, chocolate chips, lemon with vanilla ice cream



Go Ask Your Father: Mirrors, Teddy Bears, Brain Messages, and House Water

Sweet Baby Jesus… Thank God it’s Friday! Did anyone else feel like this week was longer the 2016 presidential election? I swear the Universe had some kind of  time malfunction. Her clock was running a bit behind. Time does move slower the faster you go so maybe we went farther. Anyway, here in Canadaland this is a long weekend. Monday is Family Day. What do you think would be a good family day family activity to do with the family? (Did I say family, enough times?)

1. What color are mirrors?

Mirror, mirror on the way, who is the fairest of them all? Kaitlyn Lawes and John Morris, the Canadian gold medal winners for mixed couples curling, are pretty cute. I don’t have a talking mirror, though. So the only way I know who the “fairest of them all is” is when DW is standing in front of it. What color is a mirror, anyway? Any color that is put in front of it. I had to look up how mirrors are made to find this one. Turns out they’re silver. Technically, they start as a window, a clear piece of glass. Then they spray it with demineralized water to clean it. It’s sprayed with liquefied tin. Silver is spray atop the tin because silver won’t stick to glass. As the liquid silver sets it hardens and takes on the reflective properties needed for a perfect selfie. A layer of copper is sprayed on to protect the silver and it’s all baked at 160 degrees Fahrenheit. The backside of it is painted and it’s all set for the fairest of them all.

2. Why are they called Teddy Bears?

The story I told Crash at bedtime when he asked went something like this. An American president a long time ago, named Theodore Roosevelt went by the nickname of Teddy. For a reason unbeknownst to me, created a stuffed animal that was a bear. People called it a Teddy bear. I was close. Right church, wrong pew. Theo did not create the stuffed animal. Instead its origins are from a bear hunt he attended. After 3 days he had not spotted a bear. So the hunt guides tracked down a bear, tied it to a tree and showed it to the President. Theo, seeing that it was wounded and tied to a tree couldn’t shoot it, deemed it inhumane. However, he did have killed to end its suffering. Political cartoonist, Clifford Berryman, drew a cartoon illustrating the President’s refusal to shoot the bear. That bear appeared in later cartoons by the cartoonist. Then Morris Michtom, a candy shop owner in Brooklyn, NY saw the cartoon and, with permission to call them Teddy’s Bears, put two stuffed bears his wife had made, in the front window of his shop. They became so popular he started mass producing them.

3. How does our brain send messages to the rest of our body?

Email? Text? Binary code? Shouting “HEY!” Really, I have no idea. Other than the brain using synapses and neurons and sending signals through our nervous system to the body part that needs to move (like my fingers across the keyboard). Your brain, spinal chord, and a tremendous length of nerves throughout your body all work together to give you that “human experience”. There are 2 kinds of nerves, sensory and motor. The sensory nerves send messages to the brain in regards to our senses, touch, temperature, pain, etc… Motor nerves send signals from the brain to our muscles either voluntarily or reflexively. If you’re wondering how it works on the molecular level, you’ll have to ask your friendly, neighborhood neurologist because I don’t understand neurons and synapses and stuff.

4. How does water get from the water tower into our house?

Magic. Just open the tap and out comes fresh, clean water we can drink (though we filter it anyway). We have several water towers around town.  Water is collected from the lake, cleaned, filtered and pumped though the water pipes that are networked through town by pumping stations. The pumping stations provide the pressure required to push the water through the pipes so that it comes out of the sink, the tub, the toilet, or the hose when want it to. There’s something for you to think about when you’re standing in front of your silver mirror, telling your brain to move your arm while holding your toothbrush while water flows from the faucet.


all mirrors start as a window anyway…


Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep63

Have you ever longed for bedtime? Not for yourself, but for your kids. PLEASE! Can it be bedtime now? I know they have only been home from school for 17 seconds, but can I send them to bed anyway? Getting in the truck to come home from school Crash hit Bang on the head with the truck door (accidentally) when he was trying to get in his brother’s side of the truck instead of his own. At home, I send them outside to play since it was sunny and warm. Crash took my GoPro with him to video himself skateboarding. Bang runs into him with his bike and breaks the frame that holds the camera. They come inside because apparently it’s no fun outside without a camera. So they try to play inside but all we hear is “Watch me.” “Watch this.” “Watch watch watch.” We watch some, but they certainly don’t need an audience for everything they do.

It’s 9:34pm. Guess where they finally are? You can probably tell from all the silence around here…

As always, feel free to ask your heathens these questions. Just be sure to tag me so I can read their answers.

1. What are you good at now?

Crash: Playing Beyblade, snuggling stuffies, and being annoying
Bang: Running

2. What will you be good at when you grow up?

Crash: Taking pictures like a photographer
Bang: Serving pizza, which means I’m being a chef


3. How old do you wish you could be?

Crash: 25
Bang: Nobody can live this long but I want to be a million

4. What 3 things would you take to a deserted island?

Crash: Video games, infinite food, and everything required to survive in the wild
Bang: Some food to eat, a ginormous jug of water, and some dessert – ice cream

5. The world just turned into Legos. What do you build first?

Crash: I don’t know, but I would build lots!
Bang: I would build a giant Lego person

6. Did you have a dream last night?

Crash: I had this one crazy dream that me, my friends had Pokemon and they weren’t just cards, they were real Pokemon. We battled for a long time and it boys vs. girls and one of the girl’s Pokemon scratched me and I used Sing and her Pokemon fell asleep. And this is craziest part… My teacher and brother show up to make another team! My team won, though.
Bang: Nope, I stayed awake all night. I just laid there with my eyes open like I do every single night.

7. What 2 animals would be funny to combine?

Crash: Dinosaur and a pig
Bang: A moose and an elephant and it’s called a mooselephant

8. What is your favorite word?

Crash: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Bang: I like to say dab


9. What is love?

Crash: It’s family and stuff, like girlfriends and boyfriends and husbands and wives
Bang: I love mom because I fell in love with her but I don’t know what it means to fall in love

10. What’s your favorite game to play in gym class?

Crash: Soccerbaseball
Bang: Hockey and soccer baseball (aka kickball)


Go Ask Your Father: Iron, Hemoglobin, Quarks, and Far Out Man

Happy Ground Hog Day! Our groundhog saw his shadow so it’s 6 more weeks of winter for us.

I love the snow. I love the cold. For now, anyway. When winter is over I’ll be done with it, but for now, I’m enjoying it. However, Mother Nature is playing roulette with the weather. Tuesday we had 6 inches of snow that cancelled school. Wednesday we had a half inch of ice that cancelled school. Today it’s raining and 4 C. Tonight the temperature will drop to -15. Sunday it goes back up to 3. Maybe she’s not playing roulette. Maybe she’s on a trampoline. Up. Down. Up. Down….

Bang was read a book about rockets and he came to the word sub-orbital. He sounded it out perfectly. Sub. Orbital. However, when he put it all together it because suh borbital. No matter how much I tried to correct him, he just couldn’t get it right. We ended up in fits of laughter and I gave up the battle.

1. Why is your hemoglobin low?

I went to give blood back in January. It’s something I love doing it because provides me a chance to save someone’s life and it costs my nothing but little prick in my arm. Plus, I get juice and cookies afterwards, too. My university had blood drives twice a year. Once in the spring and once in the fall and I would give both times. Here, there is a drive 5 times a year and I try to give 4 of those times. The boys have been coming with me for a year now. Of course, they both fear needles like normal people fear falling out of airplanes, but they come for the cookies. Bang loves to watch them put the needle in and is full of questions for the nurses. However, this time, when they tested my hemoglobin, it was too low. For the first time ever, I was unable to give blood. My only guess as to why it was low is because I gave blood three times last year, two of which were in August and November. Having done that and being over 40 (aka not as young as I used to be) my iron hadn’t had time to replenish. Though, Google tells me it could be dehydration, lead poisoning, or kidney failure. Tip: don’t use Google to diagnose your body.

2. Why do we have iron in our blood?

It would take the iron from 450 people to make a sword. In our bodies, only 1 part in 10,000 is iron. Iron is a major component of hemoglobin. If my hemoglobin count is low, so is my iron. Hemoglobin and iron are important component in red blood cells that carries oxygen from your lungs to the rest of your body. It also maintains healthy cells, skin, hair (just not my hair), and nails. Males have about 4 grams of iron while females have 3.5 grams. So never mind the gym, your blood is pumping iron 24/7.

3. What’s a quark?

It’s what a subatomic duck says! If you get it, welcome to nerd club. The name was chosen in 1964 from the novel “Finnigan’s Wake”.

Three quarks for Muster Mark.

If you think atoms are the smallest things on Earth, you’re wrong. Atoms’ nuclei are consist of protons and neutrons. Those protons and neutrons are made of quarks. There are 6 kinds of quarks (and antiquarks): up, down, top, bottom, strange, and charm. Particles made of quarks are called hadrons. You may have heard that really big hadron smasher aptly named The Large Hadron Collider. It is the facility that is large (26.7 km circumference) and not the hadrons (about the size of a certain president’s common sense). Fun fact: When two quarks are pulled apart, their bond gets stronger until they are separated. Once separated they form two sets of quarks. I could go into more detail and explain their baryon and lepton numbers but I’d just be copying and pasting because the rest of it is so far over my head it’s suh borbital.

4. What’s the farthest people have been from Earth?

I, myself, have a tendency to drift away from Earth from time to time often enough. Lalaland is most definitely not a place on Earth. DW radios me back in; “Hello, Earth to Eric”. However, some people seem to be so far Earth they can’t return. Those people withstanding, the farthest humans have been from Earth were in orbit around the moon. That put them 248,655 miles away. This was accomplished by the Apollo 13 crew; Jim Lovell, Fred Haise, and Jack Swigert while passing over the far side of the moon 158 miles from the lunar surface. However, the farthest spacecraft from Earth is 119 times farther. Launched September 5, 1977 Voyager 1 is now 13,158,907,100 miles away. It was officially outside our solar system an in interstellar space in 2013. To see the 115 images and hear the music, sounds, and greetings on it’s Golden Disk, visit this NASA site.


Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep Four Million

I’ve been reading the book Wonder to the boys. We’re about 90% of the way through it. As soon as I remember I’m going to have them draw a picture of what they think Auggie looks like. Tonight I asked them what they have learned while reading it. I was truly afraid one of them would answer about the farting nurse that made a brief appearance way back in the third chapter. I was pleasantly surprised to hear their answers and hope it sticks with them for a long time.

1. What was your favorite thing about Christmas Break?

Crash: Nana and Pop Pop coming over. It was their first Christmas in Cape Breton
Bang: Seeing Nana and Pop Pop

2. What was your favorite Christmas present?

Crash: My ukelele and camera (so I can make videos for my YouTube channel)
Bang: My Hatchimal and Nana and Pop Pop

3. Is there something you were hoping to get for Christmas but didn’t?

Crash: Two things acutally. A Lego Minecraft set and Cappy.
Bang: I got everything!

4. Is there something we didn’t do that you wish would could have done?

Crash: Eat more cinnamon rolls
Bang: Play another game of Life because Nana only played one game

5. What is one thing you learned today?

Crash: That I like Dad’s cheesy chicken cauliflower casserole!
Bang: The song “King of Spain” by Moxi Fruvis

6. What is something you want to learn?

Crash: How to play the ukelele
Bang: Actual algebra and times tables

7. Why do people have different skin colors?

Crash: It’s just the way they were born
Bang: Because they live in different places

8. What’s the best thing to tell Alexa (Amazon Echo)?

Crash: To play Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran
Bang: Make a fart noise

9. What does Mom want for her birthday?

Crash: Guppie
Bang: Lipstick

10. What have you learned from reading “Wonder”?

Crash: That everyone is special in their own way
Bang: About sticking up for my friends like when Amos bulled over Eddie


Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep 54

Thanks to Lucy over at Lucy at Home  for featuring little old me this week for last weeks Questions I Asked My Kids on her #BlogCrush post. For those visiting from there, welcome to my fun place. These questions are a weekly occurrence. To my faithful readers, welcome back. You know there is often hilarity here. We put the fun in dysfunctional and the chocolate in the freezer.

Feel free to let me know which answer made you laugh the most.

1. Why do we sneeze?

Crash: Cause it’s like a fart but it comes out our nose
Bang: Cause our lungs get mixed up with snot and air and the air takes the boogers out of your nose

2. What’s one food you would like to eat every day?

Crash: Cream frosted cupcakes
Bang: Apples because they’re so sweet and juicy (I get us Sweet Tangos)

3. What would you like to build out of snow this winter?

Crash: A big igloo like we do every year
Bang: Igloo

4. What’s the best thing about Christmas?

Crash: Spending time with family and friends, playing with The Polar Express train, and opening presents
Bang: Hanging out with the Elves and you get presents!

5. If you could have a body part of any animal, what part of what animal would you want?

Crash: Cat tail, cause then I couldn’t fall on my head
Bang: Goose legs because they have lots of leg bones

6. What’s your favorite Christmas decoration?

Crash: The Christmas tree and the Elves
Bang: The Snoopy house! (It was an inflatable Snoopy as the Red Baron atop his dog house)

7. How many chocolate chip cookies can you eat?

Crash: More than you can count
Bang: As much as I want

8. What do mom and dad do when we stay up late?

Crash: Watch Blind Spot or This Is Us or any other shows that you watch
Bang: Watch a movie, eat popcorn, and fart

9. What’s the one thing you want most for Christmas?

Crash: Super Mario Odyssey
Bang: Hatchimal

10. What color would you like our house to be?

Crash: Green with a big rainbow on the side
Bang: The color it is now… blue.

What are your kids asking for this year? Let me know below!

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Questions I Asked My Kids

I hope all my American family and friends enjoyed a very happy Thanksgiving. I miss the days of gathering at Grandma’s house. We’d feast, we’d slip into a turkey coma for a bit then we’d play some football in the front yard. I wish the boys were able to experience it, too. Not to worry though, we’ve got our own traditions going. We normally cook a turkey and stuff today to celebrate. However, today was just too crazy. This weekend will be for putting up outdoor decorations. As of this typing the only decorations we have up are the count down chain that’s currenly at 32 more sleeps. Have you started decorating yet?

1. What would be the best Christmas present for you?

Crash: A million bucks

Bang: Bey Blade Burst

2. What would be the worst Christmas present for you to get?

Crash: underwear

Bang: Coal, sticks and blueberries

3. What’s your favorite smell?

Crash: The lemon orange and cinnamon you boil on the stove

Bang: Hockey players

4. What’s your favorite thing about dad?

Crash: That you have cool glasses

Bang: That he’s really skinny, too, and not fluffy

5. What’s your favorite thing about mom?

Crash: That she lays with me for a long time at bedtime

Bang: That’s she’s really fluffy

6. Where is your favorite place in the house?

Crash: Living room where the Nintendo Switch is

Bang: In the basement or living room

7. Where is your favorite place to hide when we play Hide-n-Seek?

Crash: In the box in my closet

Bang: Basement corner in the toy room

8. What’s your favorite time of the day?

Crash: I like it from 8:30 to 4:30

Bang: When we have gym at school

9. What’s your favorite word?

Crash: Lightning

Bang: Boobies

10. What part of your body is your favorite?

Crash: My Hair

Bang: My ribs

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Letters to my Daughter