Questions I Asked My Kids: The #MyDadChallenge

I invite you to take the #MyDadChallenge. Ask your kids these simple 10 questions and then post them and tag me so I can share them, too. Thanks Dorky Mom for the idea!

Father’s Day is just around the corner. This year, I get to celebrate it with Bang. Not because he’s a dad, too, but because it’s his birthday. That will get a post of it’s own. Today is an early shout out to all the Fathers out there. More importantly, it’s a shout out to the Dad’s. Any man can be father. The special ones get called dad. Happy Early Dad’s Day to my dad, my step-dad-in-law, and my dad-in-law smiling/laughing down at us.

1. My dad is _____ years old and weighs _____ pounds.

Crash: 40; 190
Bang: Practically 42 years old; 62 pounds

2. My dad is good at cooking _____ and is not so good at cooking _____.

Crash: Pancakes and waffles; Doughboys
Bang: Lasagna; Nothing

3. If my dad were a superhero, his name would be ______ and his superpower would be _____.

Crash: Stomperdad; use the force
Bang: Superdad; Flying and punching and kicking and shooting lasers out of his eyes.

4. And if my dad were a villain, his name would be ______ and he would use his evil powers to _____.

Crash: Bad Dad; Take over the world
Bang: DadBagGuy; Kill goodness

5. I love it when my dad______.

Crash: Says yes.
Bang: Plays 10 minutes (a tickle game)

6. When my dad is driving, he_________.

Crash: Sort of pays attention
Bang: Is not a maniac

7. I like it when my dad _______ and I don’t like it when my dad _________.

Crash: Dies in Fortnite; limits my screen time
Bang: Goes on the trampoline; sits on me and tickles me

8. My dad does not like to _______.

Crash: Clean
Bang: Clean up messes

9. My dad does ________ the best and _________ the worst.

Crash: Waking me up; letting me stay up late
Bang: cooking; not letting his kids do anything

10. I’m thankful for my dad because ___________.

Crash: He give me shelter, and food, etc…
Bang: puts my hat on backwards.

Also, thanks for getting my head out of that concrete block

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Questions I Asked My Kids: This or That

Thanks to Laura at Riddle from the Middle for this week’s questions. She snagged them from Wanderings of an Elusive Mind. I modified a few of the questions to fit the kids. This week the boys have just two choices. It’s time to see how different these two really are. Though if you’ve read any of the previous 70 Questions I Asked My Kids you already know how different they are. Like waffles and chicken. Like cats and cucumbers. Like… well, like two boys from the same two parents.

YouTube or TV? 

Crash: YouTube
Bang: YouTube

Cookies or ice cream?

Crash: Cookies
Bang: Ice cream

Popsicle or Freezy?  

Crash: Popsicle
Bang: Popsicle

Tablet or cell phone?

Crash: Cell phone
Bang: Tablet

Cake or pie?  

Crash: Pie
Bang: I don’t like pie so cake

Big party or small gathering? 

Crash: Big party
Bang: Big party

Rich friend or loyal friend?

Crash: Loyal friend
Bang: Loyal friend

Baseball or Soccer?

Crash: Baseball
Bang: Soccer

What’s worse: Putting away laundry or dishes?  

Crash: Dishes
Bang: Laundry

Hiking or biking?

Crash: Biking
Bang: I hate hiking because it’s too much walking and I hate biking because I get too tired. I go for biking, I guess, because it’s more fun than walking.

Sneakers or Crocs? 

Crash: Sneakers
Bang: Sneakers

Milk or Juice?

Crash: Juice
Bang: Milk

Couch or chair?  

Crash: Couch
Bang: Chair

Mom drive or dad drive?

Crash: Dad drive
Bang: Mom drive

Blue or Red?

Crash: Blue
Bang: Blue

Beach or camping? 

Crash: Camping, I think. Maybe.
Bang: Totally camping

Toilet paper: over or under?

Crash: Over
Bang: Over

Pancake or waffle?

Crash: Waffle
Bang: Waffle

Coke or Pepsi?

Crash: Coke. No Wait! Pepsi. Aren’t they like the same thing?
Bang: Pepsi

Plastic cup or glass?

Crash: Glass
Bang: Glass

Bedtime or wake up time?

Crash: Wake up time
Bang: Wake up time

Summer or winter?

Crash: Summer
Bang: Summer because THE BEACH!

International travel or New TV?

Crash: International travel
Bang: International travel

Save or spend?

Crash: Spend! No, wait. Save because I’m saving for an iPad
Bang: Save

Kind or smart?

Crash: Kind
Bang: Smart. No wait, kind because I’m already smart.

Inside or outside?  .

Crash: Outside
Bang: Inside

TV or book? 

Crash: Probably TV. Not to say I don’t like books, but I prefer TV.
Bang: Book

Ocean or mountains?

Crash: Ocean
Bang: Mountains.

The score? 16 same answers, 12 different. Alike enough to be called brothers, different enough to fight about it.

Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep 70

For those who follow me in the Insta you saw that we were at an air show yesterday. It was incredible to watch. The Canadian Air Forces’ Snowbirds were in town at our tiny, little airport. Nine fighter jets demonstrated their precision with formation fly overs and high speed fly bys. 600 kmh to be exact. Having grown up near an air force base and the U.S. Naval Academy, I have seen a few air shows. The Blue Angels and The Thunderbirds always fascinated me. I was still as excited as the kids to see this one. So was DW. I would absolutely love to fly co-pilot in one of these.

After the show we got to meet the nine pilots and get their autographs. They each signed the boys hats and a poster for each of them. Then we spoke to the lead technician. He was great to answer all of our questions. He even let us look in the cockpit! I couldn’t believe when he told us the planes were built in 1965. They are 53 years old!

1. What was your favorite part of the Air Show?

Crash: The tricks. My favorite trick was when they would go straight up all together then spread out with a smoke trail to look like fireworks
Bang: When the planes looked like a hand and when they went sideways and passed each other really close and when they went over us really loudly.

2. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Crash: A Snowbird pilot
Bang: A dog washer and a chef (I thought he’d be a Snowbird mechanic after talking one for a half hour last night. He says no, that’s too hard)

3. What is something you learned at the Air Show?

Crash: Its hard to fly in the wind and if a bird gets caught in the jet engine the bird is dead.
Bang: How they make the smoke. There’s these two things holding deisel and pipes connected to the back of the plane. Then deisel comes out of the back behind the engine and makes smoke.

4. How do you talk to someone who doesn’t speak your language?

Crash: You wave and shake your head yes and no and try to translate
Bang: Hand motion. You could write on a piece of paper and if he doesn’t know the letters you can translate it.

*5. What’s a good name for a dog?

Crash: Jaxson
Bang: Gizmo

**6. What’s a good name for a baby sister?

Crash: Shareeya Wayga (this is what he wanted to name the Bang while DW was still pregnant)
Bang: Leeya

7. What’s your favorite junk food snack?

Crash: Chocolate brownie cake
Bang: Bear paws

8. Who do you know that lives farthest away from us? How far away are they?

Crash: Nana and Pop Pop. They live 50 miles from here
Bang: Uncle B and Aunt Sara. They live 2,000 km away

9. What should we do this weekend?

Crash: Have my friend over so we can make YouTube videos. We want to make a try not to laugh video.
Bang: If it’s nice we can play in the sprinkler or have a water balloon fight or fly a kite if we don’t get electrocuted.

10. What do you wish Alexa (Amazon Echo) could do?

Crash: Clean my room and give me money
Bang: Have a face and arms and play every song in the world.

* We are not getting a dog (yet)

** We are not-no-way-in-hell getting a baby sister

This is how much these birds love flying…

Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep 69

It’s little Friday also known as Thursday. It’s kind of like being Friday’s little sibling. The boys have touched wet paint no less than four times today. They were given explicit instruction to stay out of the kitchen. It’s getting a new color. Eucalyptus green. I fully expect hungry koalas to show up any time. We’re on phase two of the kitchen makeover. We repainted the ceiling for phase one. Phase three will be to paint the cupboards. The boys want their rooms painted, too. That’ll be phase four and five. Follow me on the Insta to track our progress. You’ll even find DW climbing on the counters! And here I was hollering at the kids to get down!

1. What animal would be fun to shrink to the size of a dog?

Crash: A whale
Bang: Elephant

2. What animal would be fun to grow to the size of a dog?

Crash: An Ant
Bang: A mouse

3. What ice cream flavor do you wish someone would invent?

Crash: Dragon’s breath
Bang: M&M, Caromilk, Chocolate bar ice cream with spaghetti

4. How many kids do you wish mom and dad would have?

Crash: 2
Bang: I’m not sure you would like this but 18. 8 girls and 10 boys.

5. Tell me a joke.

Crash: Why can’t you write with a broken pencil? It’s pointless.
Bang: What’s the car behind the engine of the train? The Coal car. What is coal? “Tender and Chooosy!” (tender because that’s what a coal car is called and choosy instead of juicy)

6. What three things does a parent need to be?

Crash: Kind, loving, and patient
Bang: Grown up, a hero, and, a mother and father

7. What are you most scared of?

Crash: Death.
Bang: A haunted house. That’s the only thing I’m legitly scared of.

8. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Crash: Working at Hasbro making Beyblades
Bang: Dog washer, and a builder.

9. What would be a cool job for dad to have?

Crash: Astronaut
Bang: A train engineer

10. Did you have any dreams?

Crash: Me and some of my friends had a beyblade arena from the show and had third evolution beyblades and we were having a battle royale.

Bang: Mario Bros! Remember when I dropped the tablet down the stairs, I was pretending Mario dropped it and the screen turned green. Then the whole world turned green! Then it said “The End”

Feel free to orgasm the day away!

Go Ask Your Father: Fans, Vibrators, Trampoline Physics, and Boobs

Amen Halleluja! It’s Friday! Here in Canadaland it’s a long weekend. Victoria Day and all. And Prince Harry is getting married. Do you have your recorders set to record? I know some who have their recorders set to record EVERY channel airing The Wedding. A teacher arrived at school today dressed as if she were invited to the wedding. It was great!

Now lets get this weekend started!

How do fans cool us off?

Fans make us cool by cheering loudly for us. The cooler we are the louder they cheer. My fans are willing to holler down aisle six of the local grocery store, “Hi! Mr. Wood!” Of course I holler back. But he wasn’t talking about those kinds of fans or that kind of cool. When moving air hits you, whether it’s a fan or the wind or a kid running by at mach 2.3, the wind will feel cooler than nonmoving air. As the air zips by your skin it grabs tiny particles of moisture like a boy stealing a cookie out of your hand. Not wanting to be stolen by itself, the moisture takes a bit of heat with it because it takes energy to turn from the liquid on your skin to a gas in the air. This energy comes in the form of heat. You feel this loss of heat as coolness. This is why you feel colder getting out of the shower, pool, lake, pond, ocean, or mud puddle. As the water evaporates off your skin it takes heat with it on a date to make a cloud. If only I could achieve Ryan Reynolds coolness this way.

How do cell phones vibrate?

By getting a call, email, Twitter or Instagram notification. But what makes it buzz and

shiver and vibrate like it’s trying Zumba for the first time? A motor, but not any regular motor you find in your Harley. This tiny motor is only one centimeter long. When it receives it’s electrical signal it spins a shaft on which is an offset weight. Offset here means that it’s lopsided, like my friend’s head. So it’s heavier on one side than the other. Therefore, when it spins it shakes like a Big Wheel on a cobble stone road. This kind of motor creates a vibration in 360 degrees as the weight spins around the shaft.

The other kind of vibrator your phone might be equipped with is small but powerful. Size doesn’t matter, right? This motor works in much the same way as a shaft vibrator, by spinning an off center mass. However, haptic motors create linear (side to side) vibrations as it’s just a disk that spins. Imagine a record (LP?)(vinyl?)(giant black CD) that has one side shaved off. Now imagine spinning it 17,000 rpms. All this about shafts and vibrators reminds me of Buzz and Woody. (from the movie!)

How do you launch us on the trampoline?

The boys love it when I join them on the trampoline. However, I’ve discovered I’m exactly I-can-only-jump-for-a-half-hour years old. Not to brag, but I am a good launcher though. According to Bang, I’m a better launcher than Crash. I think it’s because my ass weighs about fifty (WTH? Only 50?) more than he does. There is a bit of science happening and I find it rather interesting. There is a lot of fancy math about elastic energy, but I’ll leave that out of this post. It’s certainly not what I’m thinking about while I’m jumping. Imagine shooting your spouse with a rubber band elastic. If you were wise you’ll only pull the elastic back a little bit so it flies gently. If you’re a glutton for punishment you’ll haul back on the elastic, let it fly, then run like hell. The more tension you put on it, the more potential energy you give it. Therefore, the more potential energy it has the more it transforms to kenetic when you let it go. The same thing happens on the trampoline, though it happens vertically as opposed to horizontally like the elastic. My extra 50 pounds gives the trampoline more potential energy as my weight pushes down harder. If I time my landing just right, I get the mat at it’s maximum tension at the exact same time as 50 pound Bang lands. Then he’s launched skyward with three times the amount of energy that he could have given it by himself. Or 50 pounds more force than if his brother had launched him.

Why do you have to get your boobs checked?

Bang is a boob man. He loves to demonstrate that he is exactly boob height to his mother. That’s a good height to be. Obviously, this question was not directed at me. Though men are not immune to breast cancer, either. Which sort of answers the question. DW left for her mammogram appointment a half hour before we left for school and the boys thought it strange. Naturally, it triggered many more questions which will make their debut in the coming weeks. Breast cancer occurs when malignant tumors form either in the cells of the lobules (the milk producing glands) or the ducts (the passages leading from the lobules to the nipple. If left undetected it will spread to underarm lymph nodes. For cancer cells, the lymph nodes are a highway to the rest of the body. Annual screening tests are ideal for catching it early. So no matter if you’re A cup or DD cup, go get checked. Or get you’re hubby to. He’d be a fool to turn that chore. By the way, no cancer has been detected in DW since she start doing annual mammograms.

• According to BreastCancer.org 1 in 8 women will develop invasive breast cancer.
• Breast cancer is the second only to skin cancer.
• A woman’s risk of breast cancer doubles if she has a first-degree relative diagnosed.
• 85% of diagnosed breast cancers occur in women with no family history of breast cancer.

Save the whole woman while you’re at it

Questions I Asked My Kids: The #MyMomChallenge

Erika, The Dorky Mom Doodler, Mom, doodler, and general, all round great blogger, set forth this #hashtag challenge on Mother’s Day. These questions are all about our loving, beautiful, slightly nuts, Mother. Or as I call her, DW. Dee Dub is her rapper name.

I saved these questions for today as the gift that keeps on giving. And because Thursdays are questions days, not Sundays. So Happy Belated Mother’s Day. Here’s your laugh.

1. My mom is _____ years old and weighs _____ pounds.

Crash: 40; 190 something
Bang: 41; 15

2. My mom is good at cooking _____ and is not so good at cooking _____.

Crash: Lasagna; Keto pizza
Bang: pancakes; nothing, she cooks everything good.

3. If my mom were a superhero, her name would be ______ and her superpower would be _____.

Crash: Tara; shooting lasers out of her eyes
Bang: Supermom; Flying and punching and kicking

4. And if my mom were a villain, her name would be ______ and she would use her evil powers to _____.

Crash: Bad Mom; Take over the world
Bang: Taralee the Villain; Join her evil and apacolypse the world

5. I love it when my mom ______.

Crash: Snuggle me
Bang: snuggles me!

6. When my mom is driving, she _________.

Crash: gets white knuckles
Bang: is not a maniac

7. I like it when my mom _______ and I don’t like it when my mom _________.

Crash: lays with me at night; yells at me
Bang: plays games with me; yells

8. My mom does not like to _______.

Crash: Be annoyed
Bang: go on the trampoline

9. My mom does ________ the best and _________ the worst.

Crash: Snuggles; Pokemon battles
Bang: everything; cooks speghetti

10. I’m thankful for my mom because ___________.

Crash: She loves me
Bang: She’s the best hugger.

R and S are for Go Ask Your Father…

There’s a twofer going on tonight. However, it’s only one post.

is for research. I can answer the boys questions without Google. What I can’t do is answer them thoroughly. If you can’t explain it simply enough for a 6 year old to understand you don’t understand it well enough. So I turn to Google to refine and finish my explanations. I know that’s not official research, but it’s good enough for now. As long as I use trustworthy sites.

Since I love their questions, I pray they continue to ask questions their entire life. Learning is essential and questions are proof they are trying. S is for students. Students of education. Students of life. Students for life.

 

1. What is cholesterol?

I had to admit defeat on this one. All I could them them is that it’s stuff in our blood and there two kinds, a good kind and a bad kind. Now I know the bad kind is LDL – low density lipoprotein. It’s sticky and is the stuff that clings to artery walls, reducing blood flow to the heart, and causes heart attacks. The only thing that can stop a bad cholesterol with a gun is a good cholesterol with gun. HDL – high density lipoprotein strolls the blood stream looking for LDLs. Once it finds it, it latches on and delivers the baddie to the liver (the judge who sentences the baddie to jail). The liver then filters it as a waste product and removes it from your body all together.

2. What is it when shadows combine without touching?

That’s kind of a confusing question, isn’t it? How can two things combine without touching? That’s like putting your clothes in the washing machine and they never get wet. You can do this experiment and see it for yourself. Just hold your hands up to a wall to cast two shadows. Bring your hands together slowly and the two shadows will touch just before your hands do. The shadows will be connected yet your hands are not. Thanks to Vsauce on YouTube, we know this is called The Shadow Blister Effect. I highly recommend the video. It has to do with the anatomy of a shadow. The umbra is the part of the shadow where the light is fully blocked. The prenumbra is a partial blocking (like twilight, the sun has set, but it’s still a bit light). When the two prenumbras overlap it creates a significantly greater darkness which we perceive as the combination of shadows even though the two objects aren’t touching.

3. Why do we get blisters?

You got a blister because you wore your rainboots with no socks. Put socks on before it gets worse. There are several causes of blisters. Heat, friction, and chemicals are just three of the main culprits. A blister is our skin’s way of defending itself. A layer of liquid forms between the top layers of skin to protect the tissue below it. It is best to keep the blister as long as you can. But if you’re like me and love bubble wrap, it’ll be too tempting to pop your skin bubble. That bubble is allowing the tissue to heal without the risk of infection. So if you do pop your bubble, clean it and wrap it up.

4. Can I get Facebook?

Hold on… I’ll go ask Zuckerburg. Sorry. He said awe hell no. Sure, it’s a great tool to keep in touch with family and friends. It’s also a great tool to kill some time, whether it be a few minutes or a few days. It’s also a great place to get #FakeNews and other things unimportant to our daily lives. Though, if he did get the FB he would just have a few family members on so it would probably be safe until he went exploring for more. So, no. The 10 year old will not be on Facebook for a while, yet.

Q is for…

I would love to say Q is for quiet. It’s a rare occurrence around here.  A lit match lasts longer the quiet in our house. Unless it’s after bedtime. Those 2 hours after the kids are asleep is Mommy and Daddy time. We’re not playing referee. We’re not cooking or cleaning. The kids think we always stay up late and drink wine when in fact we stay up a bit, watch adult shows and eat snacks.

But Q won’t be for quiet today. Just like last year for Q, it falls on a Thursday. Anyone familiar with this space knows that Thursday for Questions. These questions are from April 20th of last year. Lets see how their answers differ…

1. What’s your favorite thing to do in the summer?

Crash: Go to the beach
Bang: Use the sprinkler with all my friends!

2. What do sharks eat?

Crash: Fish, people sometimes if they think you are a seal, and seals
Bang: Fish and krill and shark food

3. What animal would it be fun to be?

Crash: An eagle
Bang: A mouse

4. Why would it be fun to be that animal?

Crash: a) because eagles are cool and b) because you can you fly with your wings
Bang: because you get to dig in people’s walls and live in there

5. What would you like to learn more about?

Crash: How to draw
Bang: Tigers

6. What’s the best thing about you?

Crash: I make friends easily
Bang: That I know stuff past grade 1

7. What’s the best thing about Dad?

Crash: He’s bald and you do most of the chores around the house
Bang: Not much, just one thing. You let me play on your phone because I know your password to play Candy Crush

8. What’s the best thing about Mom?

Crash: She’s losing weight and volunteers for a lot of stuff
Bang: She snuggles me

9. What do you want to be famous for doing?

Crash: Writing books or taking photographs
Bang: Running because I’m really fast

10. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Crash: Author or photographer or the good looking pop start that everyone loves
Bang: Dog washer!

 

L is for…

When you have two teachers for parents, L can only mean one thing.

Lots and lots and lots of Learning.

Fortunately, the boys are so full of questions there’s more learning happening around here than… than… well, lets just say there’s lots of learning.

1. Why are scabs itchy?

Boys are hard on their bodies. It’s the only one they get so they need to get as much use out of it as they can. Crash fell at school earlier this week. Apparently there was some invisible ice and he slipped and fell on it while playing tag with his friends. Now he has a nice little-ish scab healing on his knee and it’s itchy. Why? Because when the cells covering the wound meet in the middle they start pulling on each other to close the wound. This frat house like tug-o-war causes mechanical stress and activated the itch nerves. Your spinal cord, which in control of your nervous system, sends the signal to scratch that itch. But if we scratch that itch we rip the scab off and we’re right back to where we started when we got the banged up knee in the first place. So now a war rages between our spinal cord wanting scratch and our brain telling us our spinal cord is a liar.

2. Can you die from drinking too much alcohol?

The boys know DW and I enjoy a drink of wine now and then. Sometimes we’ll have friends over for boardgame night and have a few drinks. We always drink responsibly. But, yes, you can die from too much of it. It’s called Alcohol poisoning. Except the 6 year old insisted that that wasn’t the right term for it. He said it was an “itis” (eye-tiss) word. After a minute of thinking he informed us that the correct word was drunkitis. Alcohol poisoning can happen when any substance containing alcohol is consumed intentionally or not. It occurs most frequently in binge drinkers. This is the consumption of 5 serving of alcohol in two hours for men or four for women. Symptoms include…

• Confusion
• Vomiting
• Seizures
• Slow breathing (less than eight breaths a minute)
• Irregular breathing (a gap of more than 10 seconds between breaths)
• Blue-tinged skin or pale skin
• Low body temperature (hypothermia)
• Passing out

Please, please, drink responsibly. Another way drinking too much can kill you is if you get behind the wheel and drive. PSA – Don’t drink and drive.

3. Can I go play outside?

YES! YES! YES! GO! GO! GO! We still have snow on the ground. Actually, it snow a bit this morning. This winter is bullshit and needs to go. Put on your boots and get going. Of course, once he was out there he started digging a hole in the muddy yard. Dude, go up in the back field and dig a hole. Unless you were planning on filling it with ash and kicking your little brother in the ash hole. That wouldn’t be cool either. Today was a screen free video game free day so going outside was really the only other option. Best. App. Ever!

4. Can boys have babies?

No. And no, babies don’t come out of our penis… well, not infant babies like the ones that come of mommies. Bang asked this one this evening and we explained that only girls can have babies. DW took it one step further and told him that half comes from daddies and half comes from mommies. I sat back and listened, laughing my ass off because I knew what was coming next.

“So half comes from dad and half come from mom and what? You kiss and put the baby together?”

DW opened this can of worms so I had full intention of letting her get the lid back on it.

Yes. That’s exactly what happens. Then he asked about the babies coming out and asked about babies coming out of penises. No. That’s not what happens because girls don’t have penises. “Oh, yeah. They have innie penises.”

Then I told him about chromosomes and that if daddies give mommies an X then they’ll have a baby girl and if daddy gives mommy a Y, they’ll have a boy. This effectively ended the possibly too indepth sex ed conversation.

Have you had to explain babies to your little ones? How did you handle it? The whole truth or just enough to satisfy their curiosity?

K is for… #AtoZChallenge

Kwestions
Kwiz

Karma… the boys have already had the mom curse sworn upon them. One day they will have kids who behave just like them. Of course, this means I get grandkids who behave just like my kids are right now. Guess who’s not babysitting!

Kidding… I’ll teach them all kinds of fun Grampa stuff. Chocolate cake for breakfast. Flipping their parents the bird behind their back. Good practical jokes.

But this is Thursday and Thursdays are for questions. We haven’t answered any questions for a couple weeks. The boys were asking about them last night, too.

Today, K is for the knowledge we obtain by questioning our wee ones. Click here if you want to read their original answers. Some are strangely similar.

1. What might aliens from outer space look like?

Crash: Bald with big green eyes, anywhere from 2 to 7 feet tall
Bang: LORL they look like the Toy Story aliens
DW: I’m sure they look nothing like TV makes them out to be

2. If you could build anything in the backyard, what would you build?

Crash: Treehouse that has electricity so we can play video games and have lights because it’s a huge treehouse
Bang: A big box with speakers in it so you can play Temperature by Sean Paul
DW: A pool

3. If you had to leave the house in an emergency, what 3 things would you take?

Crash: Monkey, Alexa, and all my clothes
Bang: Penguin, obviously my bed, and food
DW: My pendant, the external hard drive, and nevermind the rest because I don’t like this question

4. What’s the best thing about growing up?

Crash: You get to live in your own house and you get unlimited screen time
Bang: You get paid for your job!
DW: Staying up late

5. What word makes you laugh?

Crash: supercalifragilisticexialidocious
Bang: *insert eye roll* Things make me laugh, not words
DW: You make me laugh

6. We just bought a droid. What should we name it?

Crash: RECT (it’s all of our initials)
Bang: Elticoe
DW: Jeeves

7. What would you do if you were Dad?

Crash: Play on my tablet all day and make mom do the chores
Bang: Eat all my kids candy
DW: I’d nap on the couch and play with myself

8. What would you do if you were mom?

Crash: Get an awesome job that would make us rich
Bang: Snuggle with my kids and have a belly fart (blow raspberries on bellies) contest to see who could make the loudest fart
DW: Same thing I do everyday! Can I be a rich mom, instead and go on vacation?

9. If you could change anything about school, what would you change?

Crash: I would make math class easier
Bang: No writing, no reading, no music and just gym gym gym and play play play
DW: I’d put the focus back where it belongs… on students and teaching

10. Did you have any dreams?

Crash: As a matter of fact, yeah I did. My teacher asked if we had a dream and my friend and I had the exact same dream. This guy who looked like a vampire with hair down to his chest and trees with creepy faces grabbed us. Piper, our parrot, was in it, too.
Bang: Yeah… it was about flying, pooping ponies that go flap flap flap thsthsths (sound effect)
DW: A couple nights ago I had a dream about an eagle…