Thank you for stumbling your way to my blog! I’m your host Eric (but mostly go by Stomperdad here in the blogging world). Here you’ll find my joys and frustrations of being a dad to two wild, fun, and wildly fun boys Crash and Bang. You might also find some short stories from time to time. You’ll also find a good laugh! Laugh with me or laugh at me so long as you’re laughing… Happy reading!
I’m a very creative individual. One day I read War and Peace and finished in time to make supper. I built a life size house of cards just so I could blow it down. I can survive in the woods with only a spatula and a shoelace. I only need three hours of sleep and I sleep standing up. I have won the America’s Cup, Stanley’s Cup, and the World Cup. My penmanship is nearly perfect. I am a famous undiscovered author. I can cook 20-minute rice in only five and watch 60 minutes in 45. I revived an alligator with CPR and mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. When monkeys throw poo at me, I throw it back. At one time I knew the meaning of life and the secret to immortality. But I’ve forgotten both. I can sell ketchup to a woman in white gloves and bubble gum to a man with no teeth. I stole the Mona Lisa and returned it while no one ever knowing it was gone. The average banjo player can play 16 notes per second. I can play 17. I turned down lunch with the president of the U.S. to volunteer in a soup kitchen. I woo women with moving rock ballads. I am an undefeated, world class, international Candyland champion. I successfully built and defended a pillow fort. Single-handedly, I delivered 6 kittens and a horse at the mall. I am a master origamist. I spent 7 years in silence to better understand the sound of a whisper. I enjoy building bridges in my backyard. I fix small engines and household appliances after school, free of charge. I dig holes just so I can fill them in again. I perform clandestine night operations during the day. I am fluent in 64 languages – 3 of which are dead. I am capable of communicating with primates. I can run a mile in 3 ½ minutes and a marathon in an hour and 59 minutes. I conducted my first masterpiece when I was 3 years old. I am heir to the great throne of an island off the coast of Zimbabwe. I’m an 8th degree black belt in Ju Jit Su, Karate, Ta Kwon Do and drunken boxing. One night in January, I played a round of golf at Banff and shot a 68. When it rains, I don’t get wet. I have a secret identity that is so secret, not even I know what it is. I can perform McBeth in its entirety as a 1-act play. I successfully taught Zen philosophy and meditation to 4th graders. I solved Bernouli’s theorem one evening. I can check out anytime I like, but I can never leave.