Sunday Share: Y2 W5

I don’t know when exactly I started doing the Sunday Share series. So I’m just calling this Year Two (Y2).

Also, I’m looking to host some guest bloggers. As a dad blogger, I’m mostly looking for parenting posts. However, I don’t want to limit the space, either, so I’ll accept pretty much anyone who is interested. You post will reach a new audience, new eyes, and perhaps gain you a few more readers. If you’re interested, click the contact button above and let me know.

In the meantime, happy reading!

Ballsed Up Parenting
A great way to get happy!

Old Time Rock and Roll
I love a good backstory… this one is about a particular pair of blue, suede shoes…

Old House in the Shires
A few lessons today’s teens could teach us…

The Return of the Modern Philosopher
Switch to Trump’s workout or to Trump’s Doctor?

When the Kids Go To Bed
The fun part of parenthood or life with boys?

I’d also like to share that you can track me down in other corners of the internets, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram

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Think of these links as cookies…

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29 For the 12th Time

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Life can be fun when you are friends with a guy who has a morning show on the radio. I coached baseball with him last summer. DW and I joined him at his 40th birthday party a hundred years ago. So, when he did the radio’s “birthday show” this morning, he had some fun.

I had messaged him earlier with this message…

Me: Can we wish DW a happy birthday from her hubband and Crash and Bang? (names changed to protect the guilty)
Radioman: nope (sarcasm)
Radioman: age?
Me: 29 for the 12th time
Radioman: 41. Gotcha

And that is how he presented it for everyone in radioland to hear. However, he didn’t stop there. He proceeded to rant and rave about how awesome we are and that we “are that awesome couple who never fights.”

Honey, we are that awesome couple.

Now. Today. Finally.

It wasn’t always like that though. We’ve had our share disagreements. They were mostly when I refused to admit that you were right. We eventually learned to be a team.

I’m so grateful for that, too. Now the only fighting we do is when we try to make the kids clean. Or get them ready for school. Or get them ready for bed. Or get them leave Alexa alone.

Together, we’re like the Polar Express racing down Glacier Gulch. There ain’t no stopping us. Of course, the kids try. They wouldn’t be kids if they didn’t. But still, I wish they wouldn’t.

Anyway… today is your birthday. I tried ordering your Kleen Stride boots, but they didn’t have your size in stock. So for your birthday I’ll sing your praises. And like I tell the boys when they go to choir, sing loud, sing proud, even if you can’t carry a tune with two hands and a bucket.

You are the glue that holds this place together. If I’m the glue stick, you are the crazy glue gorilla glue… SUPER glue.  You’re not crazy (though you did marry me and have my kids, so maybe you are a little bit crazy). I’m more the gorilla type. You keep us put together; make sure we’re dressed appropriately, make sure we’re clean and smell nice (ish), and help keep the house from falling down around us. With two orangutans for kids, that’s easier said than done.

I love the way you keep us safe while I’m driving. You tell me to GO! at green lights, STOP! at red lights, and BRAKES! when someone pulls out in front of us. You ensure that everyone is buckled up before we drive away. You ensure that we wear helmets while biking and skating. You ensure we wear appropriate winter attire to prevent frostbite from the Canadian cold.

You are determined. You started your diet October 1st and you haven’t wavered from it in the slightest. With the exception of the temptations during Christmas, you’ve stuck with it. Even when you’re craving and I’m sitting there eating chips like a real arsehole. I’ve seen the difference it has made. You’re down a size in jeans! That alone is more reason to continue than the 24 pounds you have lost. I can see that you look slimmer. Others can see the difference, too. And I’m enjoying our walks while the boys skate, too. BONUS! For all of this, I am proud of you.

I love to hear what songs you tell Alexa to play. I love to watch you dance (shake that booty) when your favorite songs come on. I have it all on video. I value my life as much as yours so I’ll refrain from posting it anywhere. I love that you can see the humor in a certain six year old’s temper tantrum over the most mundane things (this morning it was his snow pants that he didn’t have to wear because it’s 9 degrees outside but he HAD to wear them because his teacher “forces” them to).

I love that you lay with the kids for a few minutes to get them sleep then wake up a few hours later and come to our bed.

I love that you let me be the dork that I am.
I love the pride you take in the projects you crochet.
I love the boys try to make me jealous by giving you all snuggles.
I love your well timed swear words.
I love that you have no idea what you want for your birthday. Don’t be surprised when the boys and I hand you this…

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Pair it with the ukulele for a great band!

(warning, sappy part approaching)

Most importantly, I love you. All of you. Top to bottom. Front to back. Inside, Outside, Upside Down. You’ve got a kind heart, a caring soul, and always put us before yourself. Except today. Today is your day.

Happy birthday!

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Sunday Share: Y2, W4

Year 2, Week 4.

This is the week a certain someone I won’t name by name but will name by nickname, DW, turns another year older. 29. Again. I think she’s been 29 for 12 years, now.

The drift stick is reading 11 inches of snow. The thermometer is reading -5 C (41 F). Yep, it’s still winter. On the plus side, it’s 5:30 pm and just now getting too dark to see. The days are getting longer. However, the nights are still just right for reading socks and pajamas at 6:00. For those on the upside down part of the world, I bet you can feel your days getting shorter. As the Starks would say, “Winter is coming” (but not this year because The Game won’t be back until 2019).

Coach Daddy
How do you let your less-than-stellar moments define you?

Damn, Girl!
The art of the apology…

The Salty Mamas
Helping Daddy see the way one decree at a time…

Mom of Two Little Girls
Anxiety in parenthood. It happens. Let’s not hide from it…

J. A. Allen
Clark Kent had an alter ego. Samuel Clemens had an alter ego. Do all writers create one?

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Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find out where I can order one of these for DW’s birthday. Hope it’s here on time!

 

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Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep60

I asked these questions in October of 2016. There’s even a video that goes along with it. Back in that episode I was surprised to have done 25 episodes of questions. That’s nothing compared to 60. 600 questions is a lot. Though, it’s only equal to the number of questions I answer from them in a couple hours.

If you think of any questions that would be fun to ask kids, let me know down below.

If you’d like to ask your own munchkins these questions, feel free. Tag me in them so I can read them, too!

Happy laughing!

1. If we could have any animal for a pet, what would you like to have in the house?

Crash: A wolf
Bang: Lumberjack beetle so I can hear mom scream

Crash: 10 million miles
Bang: 3 million km

3. How far away is the sun?

Crash: 43 million miles
Bang: 25 trillion km

4. What is the internet?

Crash: Awesomeness
Bang: Something that keeps computers alive

5. What are you thankful for?

Crash: School and family and friends
Bang: Having electronics LOL (yes, he told me to type “LOL”)

6. If you could pick a superpower to have, what superpower would you want?

Crash: Flying or moving things with my mind
Bang: Boxing powers

7. What’s the grossest thing you can think of?

Crash: Cold McDonald’s fries
Bang: Poo vs pee and they both win. Poo mixes with pee and makes brown water

8. If you got an allowance, how much do you think you should get each week?

Crash: 5$ a chore
Bang: Quadrillion billion dollars

9. What song will you request Alexa to play?

Crash: Castle on the Hill
Bang: Base After Base from the game Geometry Dash. Or Carnival Hearts

10. Can you tell me a quick story?

Crash: once there was a cat. Once there was vacuum. The cat ran away.
Bang: a cat was scared of the vacuum. The end.

vacuum

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True story

Even When It’s Not Easy

I read in a book that when given the choice between right and being kind we should always choose to be kind. Both boys understood that concept. Wouldn’t it be great if we could teach it to the whole world?

I know I’m probably preaching to the choir here. You, my reader, are kind. You probably show kindness wherever you can, whenever you can, to everyone you can. I don’t need to tell you not to judge others because they wear mismatched socks, or yell at their kids, or cut you off on the highway, or took the last bag of storm chips. I don’t need to tell you to use words of encouragement, to lift others’ spirits, or how a smile can change someone’s day. I think my readership already understands the power of kindness.

You do, don’t you?

However, the words”you can” from that last paragraph leaves us a bit of a loophole, doesn’t it? If you can, you do. If you can’t, you don’t. It is really tough to show kindness that arsehole who just told you you’re a bad parent. It’s really tough to show kindness to the jerk who just flipped you the bird. It’s really tough to show kindness to the idiot who just drove a front loader through your house. But if you can, be kind.

I see it as paying it forward. I’m kind to someone and in return they’re kind to someone else. Eventually, that chain of kindness will return to me. Or you. Or all of us. I think that’s how karma works.

I can honestly say, as much as the boys can drive us absolutely mental sometimes, one thing they fully understand is kindness toward others. Crash looks out for his classmates with special needs. He makes sure they get outside safely when the fire alarm scares them. He sees that they have all their belongings while they’re on field trips. Bang knows how people people laugh. He has adopted all the ladies of the church choir as friends. Sure, they can be total jerks to each other. They’re brothers. However, when it comes to others, I’m proud of them.

*Kindness is one of the greatest attributes one’s character can possess.

*An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

*When you lift others up, you also lift yourself.

Please share your favorite quote on kindness in the comment section. It can even be one you made up…

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Sunday Share: Year 2, Week 3

Hard to believe we’re starting the third week of the new year. Hard to believe that I skipped my regular sharing for the first two weeks, too. I’m back on track now. How old does a new year have to be before it’s not longer a new year? I’ll say three weeks. After today it’ll be an old year. Been there, done that, though the year is far from over.

You still have 344 days to get your Christmas shopping done.

Elen Grey
Being a Gerbera daisy…

Sounds Like Life to Me
On a trip around the sun…

Tracey Tobin
Making plans and goals and trying to stick to them…

Dorky Mom Doodles
Yo Momma Yo kid so funny she made you cry (laughing)

A Momma’s View
Making the world a better place one act at a time…

Wonderoak
On a good idea going bad…

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go flush an ice cube and wear my pajamas inside in hopes of the big snow they’re calling for tomorrow night.

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Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep Four Million

I’ve been reading the book Wonder to the boys. We’re about 90% of the way through it. As soon as I remember I’m going to have them draw a picture of what they think Auggie looks like. Tonight I asked them what they have learned while reading it. I was truly afraid one of them would answer about the farting nurse that made a brief appearance way back in the third chapter. I was pleasantly surprised to hear their answers and hope it sticks with them for a long time.

1. What was your favorite thing about Christmas Break?

Crash: Nana and Pop Pop coming over. It was their first Christmas in Cape Breton
Bang: Seeing Nana and Pop Pop

2. What was your favorite Christmas present?

Crash: My ukelele and camera (so I can make videos for my YouTube channel)
Bang: My Hatchimal and Nana and Pop Pop

3. Is there something you were hoping to get for Christmas but didn’t?

Crash: Two things acutally. A Lego Minecraft set and Cappy.
Bang: I got everything!

4. Is there something we didn’t do that you wish would could have done?

Crash: Eat more cinnamon rolls
Bang: Play another game of Life because Nana only played one game

5. What is one thing you learned today?

Crash: That I like Dad’s cheesy chicken cauliflower casserole!
Bang: The song “King of Spain” by Moxi Fruvis

6. What is something you want to learn?

Crash: How to play the ukelele
Bang: Actual algebra and times tables

7. Why do people have different skin colors?

Crash: It’s just the way they were born
Bang: Because they live in different places

8. What’s the best thing to tell Alexa (Amazon Echo)?

Crash: To play Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran
Bang: Make a fart noise

9. What does Mom want for her birthday?

Crash: Guppie
Bang: Lipstick

10. What have you learned from reading “Wonder”?

Crash: That everyone is special in their own way
Bang: About sticking up for my friends like when Amos bulled over Eddie

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No Excuses

Some of us find a way. Some of us find an excuse. Maybe you’re putting off that check engine light because you just don’t have time. Perhaps you want to start that new diet… tomorrow. Your knee hurts. Your backs hurts. Your shoulder hurts. You’ve got a headache. This month ends in Y.

The list of excuses is only limited by our imaginations. I have witnessed some expending more energy at making excuses than it would take to just do whatever it is they’re making excuses for.

When our oldest brought home some math homework last week, I rejoiced at seeing that it was multiplication. Double digit times a single digit, to be a exact. I knew he could do it. However, we were kind of taken aback when he told us that the rest of the class had to complete two rows (10 problems) while he had to finish just one (5 problems). We knew what the teacher was thinking, and I don’t blame the teacher at all. He has ADD so they were trying to make things manageable for him.

However, we knew better. We are not about to let his diagnosis be a crutch. Naturally, he argued with us. He’d argue with Satan himself, so the arguing wasn’t anything new to us.

My teacher said I only have to one row!

“We know what your teacher said, but you can do this multiplication. You are NOT going to use ADD as an excuse to not do the work we all, yourself included, know you can do.”

He didn’t get it at first. He couldn’t understand how he was using his diagnosis to get out of doing work. His teacher assigned fewer problems for him specifically. Instead of looking at the work and thinking “I can do this” he looked at it and said “HA! I only have to 5 problems instead of 10.” Because he has two teachers for parents, we made him complete two rows. School was out the next day because of a snow storm. We made him do two more rows anyway. School was out the day after that, too, because of a power outage. We made him do the last two rows.

What we fear is that he’ll see his ADD diagnosis as a crutch, an excuse, a limitation. I highly doubt Justin Timberlake, Jim Carey, Will Smith, Michael Phelps, Sir Richard Branson, Howie Mandel, Michelle Rodriguez, and countless others see their ADHD has a limitation. They certainly wouldn’t be where they are today if they did. The world already sets so many limitations that we don’t need to start imposing them on ourselves. I don’t ever expect him to say “Give me more work,” but I will expect him to do the work I know he is capable of doing.

 

All That Jazz

It’s over.

The tree is down. The inside lights are mostly down. I left the winter scene atop the bookshelf because it’s one of my favorites. The outside light are still up because it’s colder than Hell out there.

In Hell, Norway it’s currently 0C. It’s -9C with a windchill of -15 here.

See? Colder than Hell.

My last posting was The Daily Elf on December 21st. You see, my parents arrived on the 22nd and the blog got put on hold. It really doesn’t seem like a week has passed since we were opening gifts. For their arrival, we got a giant refigerator box, wrapped it in wrapping paper, and stuck a bow on it. Shortly before my parents got here we sent the boys to DW’s mom’s house. When my parents got here, we had the box in the living room by the tree and in it my parents went. Then the boys came home and unwrapped them.

Seriously, if you are in need of a smile, go watch the short video. The boys had no idea what they were were unwrapping.

Bang was stuck to my mother all week long. Every chance he got he was snuggling her.

We got to do some stuff while they were here, though certainly not all that we wanted. They got to go ice skating with the boys. Or at least my dad did. My mom has a tendency to break her ankles, so we kept her off the ice. She got to watch them, though. They got to see Bang sing with his church choir friends at Christmas Eve mass. They got to open presents with two three very excited boys. DW’s mom and stepdad joined us and we had a big unwrapping fest. We enjoyed a big Christmas turkey that my parents brought with them. They made their traditional trip to Baddeck. They never come to Cape Breton without going to Baddeck. We also took them candlepin bowling. Bowling in Canada is a little different than it’s American cousin. The pins are tall and skinny and the balls are the size of softballs and you get three rolls. The 6 year old won both games.

My brother-in-law and his family arrived Boxing Day (that’s the day after Christmas). The boys love playing with their cousins. There were 12 people in our house! I would call it a happy chaos.

The night before Nana and Pop Pop (my parents) left for their 1100 mile drive home, Crash and Bang said good bye to them. Bang quickly gave them hugs and tried to hurry to the basement. When I stopped him I could see his eyes get watery and his lip quiver and suddenly he couldn’t hold it in any more. He sat hugging his grandmother with tears flowing and heaving sobs. He managed to bring tears to a few eyes that evening. His only consolation was that he could call them via Facetime. And he has done so every day. Even to read them a story at bedtime.

When the kids woke last Friday morning, my parents had already left. DW’s brother and his family left around noon. Bang suited up and was ready to leave with them because they were stopping at McDonalds for lunch. Suddenly we had gone from a 12 person house to 4. It was strangely quiet. I wanted the noise back. The noise meant the holidays weren’t over. The noise meant family. Like Seuss said, “It’s not what’s under the tree that matters, it’s who’s around it.”

Our family may have left, but the New Year is here, now. Hello 2018. Time to get back to our version of normal. The tree is down. The inside lights are are down. The decorations are down. The elves, Woody and Elfis, are back at the North Pole thinking of new ways to cause mischief. Christmas is packed away for another year.

However, I still have Christmas spirit, joy, and all that jazz in my heart.