Go Ask Your Father: Germs, Hypocrisy, Large Kites, and Preservatives

I was thinking our family needs a dog. Not a puppy, they’re too much like babies and we’re done with babies. A certain doctor saw to that. But after seeing how much my boys don’t like dogs, I’ve decided not to get one. I mean, sure, they could use some lessons in responsibilities. They’d have the thing tormented and hot-wired for insanity. Plus they’re terrified of dogs. Big dogs. Little dogs. Tiny dogs. They run away. Just look at these two terrified kids tormenting this 8 week old lab/retriever pup.

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Nah… we don’t need a dog.

Do we?

1. How small are germs?

Like 6 year olds, they come in varying sizes. Our eyes can see things slightly smaller than the width of a hair. Except my hair. No one can see my hair. Thiomargarita namibiensis is large enough to see with a naked eye, but it lives on the sea floor off Namiba. Somewhere I’ll never find myself. Apparently, E. coli is kind of large for a germ (technically bacteria). If 30 of them got together for a block party we could see them without assistance. However, germs that cause colds need a gathering of 2,400 to be able to see unaided. That’s more than a party. That’s a protest. They’re so small because they get inside other cells and use them to make more germs.

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Common cold virus

2. What’s it called when someone tells me to do something but they don’t do it?

You mean like when your brother tells you not to scare him, then he goes and scares you? Or he tells you to use just a little bit of syrup on his pancake then they recreates the Caspian Sea on his plate? That’s called being a hypocrite. It’s defined as claiming to have moral values to which behaviour doesn’t conform. Kind of like when Reagan damned some air-traffic controllers who went on strike for higher wages and shorter work weeks by firing them. However, he was once the president of the Screen Actors Guild – American Actor’s Union. Or Henry David Thoreau who wrote exhaustively about saving the environment, but accidentally burnt down half a forest with an maintained campfire. Or your bother comes to tattle tale on you and get you in trouble even though he was doing the exact same thing.

3. How big was the world’s largest kite?

If you check out the Guinness record it states that Abdulrahman Al Farsi and Faris Al Farsi built and flew the kite at the Kuwait Hala Festival in Flag Square, Kuwait City, Kuwait on 15 February 2005. However, this is misinformation on Guinness’s part. While the kite dimensions are correct. It was 137.8 feet wide, 83 feet long and had a 25 foot ceiling inside. However, it was built by Peter Lynn of New Zealand. The Al Farsi’s hired and commissioned Peter to build the kite in the fashion of the Iraqi flag. Peter considered getting it changed. However, like a trip to the DMV to get your license changed, Peter considered the nightmare it was getting the kite recognized by Guinness in the first place, he didn’t think it was wise or necessary to try.

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This kite is larger than a common cold virus

4. What are preservatives?

Crash noticed that his Nanny’s homemade bread got mouldy long before the store bought stuff did. To preserve things means to keep them unspoiled, fresh, or maybe just remembered. We preserve food, jam, memories, and history. If you put things in air tight containers you can preserve food for longer. Zipper seal bags are great at this. You can make a PBJ sandwich this summer, put it in a zipper seal bag and save it for next summer. Tupperware is great at that, too. Like the two boys in Eerie, Indiana (TV show of the 90’s) who slept in Tupperware containers and thereby never aged. Calcium propanoate and propionic acid are added to breads to inhibit the growth of bacteria and extend the loaf’s shelf life. Both of these are naturally occurring chemicals in dairy products that is produced artificially. However, lecithin is a naturally occurring preservative found in soy and egg yolk and when it’s added to bread it will help keep it light, fluffy, and preserved.

Now add me like a preservative to your follow list on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

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The passage of time

Four years ago two boys rode a purple dragon. They were 6 and 2 years old.


Today they are four years older, taller, smarter, saucier…
Somehow, four years slipped by us. The days are long, but the years are short. I could go on, but we all know that time passes without us even realizing it. Like a puddle drying after it rains. It’s there, then it’s gone. Like a sapling you plant as a kid becomes a tree your kids can climb like monkeys. We parents realize in small increments that our kids can ride without training wheels, they can swim without a life jacket, they no longer need a booster seat. I said we would recreate that photo. We did. We made it our mission to get this photo before we did anything else at the water park. 

Again, they rode the purple dragon. They are suddenly 10 and 6.

Now, before any more time passes, follow me on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram

Questions I Asked Six Kids

The boys have cousins here to visit this weekend. The same ones they played with last weekend at the campground. They always have a great time together. It’s that kind of fun. We can already see the mischief they’ll create together through their teen years. I’m not sure if I should be proud or worried. 

I’ll list their answers in order of age from oldest to youngest. You know Crash (10) and Bang (6). Added to the mix will be their four cousins. Booski is 11. Crafty is 9. Whim is 7 and Beanie is 5. 

Happy reading! Oh, make sure you’re not eat or drinking. I’m not responsible for food and drink being spit on your electronic device…

1. What two animals would fun to combine?

Booski: Elephant and a cat
Crash: Cat and komodo dragon
Crafty: Panda and a pug
Whim: A squirrel and a koala bear
Bang: Panda bear and a penguin because that would make a giraffe
Beanie: A cat and a chicken

2. What is something Mom says a lot?

Booski: Stop instigating
Crash: The “f” word
Crafty:
Don’t poke the angry bear (telling my sister to stop instigating)
Whim: Go to sleep!
Bang: a-s-s
Beanie: Go to bed!


3. What is something Dad says a lot?

Booski: Yes
Crash: Do math
Crafty: Sure!
Whim: I love you
Bang: Go clean your room
Beanie: He says, “You just ate!”

4. What is something you wish your parents would say more?

Booski: We can go out to dinner tonight
Crash: Yes
Crafty:
That they have the time to play with me
Whim: Yes
Bang: You don’t have to clean anything… No wait. You get tablet time every day!
Beanie: I wish they would say I’m allowed all the candy that I want!

5. What superpower would you like to have?

Booski: Invisiblity
Crash: The ability to hypnotize people
Crafty:
Being able to fly because that would be really cool to see from a birds eye view and touching the clouds would be pretty awesome
Whim: Flying
Bang: Flying
Beanie: To eat alot of candy

6. What is your favorite thing to do in school?

Booski: Art
Crash: Art class 
Crafty:
Math
Whim: Math
Bang: Go to the playroom
Beanie: Play outside

7. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Booski: Teacher
Crash: Racecar driver
Crafty:
A stay at home mom
Whim: Hockey player for the Pittsburg Penguins even though that’s not my favorite team but they have a really good franchise right now (Boston is my favorite)
Bang: A builder and a maid
Beanie: A vet

8. If you could have animal skin, which animal’s skin would you want to have?

Booski: Elephant
Crash: Cat
Crafty:
A panda’s
Whim: A huskey dog’s fur
Bang: Frog with green skin and red eyes 
Beanie: Cat fur so I could act like a cat and I would have a tail

9. What was your favorite part about your PEI trip?

Booski: I liked going to Cow’s Ice Cream and spending time with family
Crash: Shining waters and Sandspit
Crafty:
Probably going to Sandspit and spending time with you guys
Whim: Sandspit – The Cyclone rollercoaster was my favorite ride there
Bang: The rollercoaster! I liked it a teeny bit which is why I screamed so loud
Beanie: Going to Cow’s Ice Cream

10. Did you have any dreams?

Booski: I don’t really dream or I never remember them 
Crash: Yes. Oh boy. I had a dream we were on a boat and this eagle lands on the front of the boat and he talks to me. I forget what it said, but I was like “got it”. Then he flew away and dove into the water and didn’t come back up. Then I got splashed with water then I woke up.
Crafty:
Mostly I don’t remember them. One Time I dreamt that Voldemort came to my house to kill me. But I hid under my bed even though in real life I don’t fit under my bed.
Whim: Nope…But sometime I dream I hear my brother snoring, but that’s really real.
Bang: No. They’re all secret dreams because I sleep in.
Beanie: I had a dream about flying cats and they were flying to New York to walk around

The Camping Trip

It started with a list days before. Every time we thought of something we’d need we’d add it to the list. By the time we were done we nearly needed a 26′ U-Haul. I swear we had as much stuff for a 3 night camping trip as we did for a two week trip to the States.

On the highway, DW likes to spot eagles soaring overhead. She’ll point them out when she find them. Then this happened…

eagle copter

We laughed and laughed and laughed…

Then on the Ferry to PEI the boys found a puppy to sit and pet and talk to. Five month old Riggs was a good dog. An English Bulldog. They played with him for a solid hour. The owners thanked our boys for entertaining their dog during the trip. Likewise, we thanked their dog for entertaining our kids.

Back in the truck and en route to our campsite Bang was restless and bored and so he decided to look for trouble. He usually doesn’t have to look hard. This time he put his hand in his mouth and tried to wipe it on his big brother. DW told him to keep his hands out of his mouth since he was just getting licked by a dog who had probably licked his hole.

Bang replies in complete horror… “I didn’t lick his hole!”

The weather was fabulous, though a bit hot. The nights were cool and perfect for sleeping. Even if our camping neighbors talked until 12:30. Even if the sun acted as a damn alarm clock at 6 am. We really didn’t spend much time camping. Our 8 person tent was more of a bedroom than campsite. Once we were awake and had breakfast we weren’t back at our site until bedtime.

Do you know how hard it is to cook pancakes on a BBQ? Once you get past the whole needing something to cook it on because a grill won’t hold pancake batter, you better have something to make it non-stick. I used a tin bowl. At first I just poured the pancake batter in. It cooked up like a loaf of bread. Except it was still liquid in the middle. And the top wasn’t cooked because I couldn’t flip it over. So, being above average intelligence, I cut the tin so it would lay flat, then poured the batter on. Worked like a charm until it was time to flip it. It was stickier than a toddler with a roasted marshmallow.

We went out to eat for breakfast.

After breakfast we went to visit Anne Shirley’s house. She’s the character created by L.M. Montgomery in Anne of Green Gables. The boys really enjoyed it. The house was set up as Lucy would have envisioned it in 1908. There was even a girl dressed as Anne and in character!

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After this we joined DW’s brother and his family and went to Sandspit – a small, carnival-like amusement park. There were lots of laughs, lots of screams and endless rides. It was so hot there was barely anyone there as they were all at the water park. We could ride a ride, get off, and get right back on. No lines.

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lovebirds atop the ferris wheel

Then it was off to supper to feed hot, hungry, thirsy (a deadly trifacto) people.

Then back to DW’s brother and his family and the trailer they had rented for a week. A dip in the campground pool, a bonfire, and meeting up with new and old friends. A friend I went to high school with in Maryland, now lives in Ottawa. She and her family happened to be in PEI at the same time as us and even camped at the same campground! So we got to play catch up on the last 20 years.

Then back to the tent to sleep.

Day 2 started with another attempt at pancakes on the bbq. We borrowed a bottle of olive oil and I used that to keep the cakes from sticking to the foil pan. Worked like a charm. Other than them taking 15 minutes to cook…

We spend most of the day hanging out with family. The kids visited the campground store for treats. They rode scooters and bike and played on the playground. They were inside and outside and back inside and back outside and back inside then kicked back out.

It was hot. We were hoping to go to Shining Waters, the water park, asap. DW’s brother said, “Nope. You don’t want to spend the day there. You are going to be there for a couple hours and then you’ll be done and ready to leave.” He was right.

The lines were long. 45 minutes long. Bang rode a big water slide with mom in an inner tube built for 2. He was skipping and jumping and hooting and hollering the whole way up the stairs. He was singing a different tune on the way down the slide.

He hated it. Both times. Both slides. I’m pretty sure he was convinced his mother was trying to kill him. After that he wandered the park with his older cousin to ride some rides that had neither water nor slides.

Then Saturday night happened. The wind picked up. Gusting at 50 kph. 31 miles per hour. Not really all that bad unless you’re in a tent under some trees. The boys were fast asleep. I lay my head down to sleep after reading (I’m reading The Virgin Cure by Ami McKay) and then a thought crossed my imagination and my stupid brain decided to wreck havoc and tell me that with that wind a tree might fall. Stupid stupid brain.

We woke Sunday to overcast skies and the wind still howling. Then it started raining. Not so bad in the tent. We were dry in there. Except that it was Sunday and time to take the tent down. We packed what we could and I backed the truck up as close to the door of the tent as I could without running it over. With my history of backing up, that was an impressive feat.

We got it down in record time. It didn’t fit back in the tent bag, but I didn’t care. It was down, packed in the roof top carrier and I was in the truck, mostly dry and ready to drive.

We stopped in Charlottetown for some more Cows ice cream and to visit the Provincial House which is under construction. So we visited the replica at the Confederation Centre of

 

the Arts. This is where Canada’s forefathers came together from across the Great White North to create the country now known as Canada.

 

One forefather and 2 foresons…

While the Province House wasn’t all that exciting they did have Lego sets so the boys could build their own Lego Province House….

 

That’s our trip in a nutshell… if a nutshell were 1,140 words.

Of course there was excitement over riding the ferry and seeing cousins and being allow far more freedom at the campground than they’re allowed at home.

We’re home now. All unpacked. We set the tent up in the yard to dry out. It’s now raining…

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The whole gang (minus Nanny Moe and Pop)

Questions I Asked My Kids

Kids are fountains of youth and knowledge. I ask mine questions all the time while they still know it all. We leave for a short camping trip with DW’s brother, his wife, and their 4 kids in 6 sleeps. The boys are as excited to see their cousins as they are to sleep in a tent for 3 nights. We’ll be visiting the neighboring province, Prince Edward Island. Home of the fabled Anne of Green Gables, PEI potatoes, Cows Ice Cream, and an alpaca that, four years ago, scared a certain 2 year old for years.

PEI 2013

We will try to recreate this image from 4 years ago…

1. What are you most looking forward to doing in PEI?

Crash: Hanging out in the thing… the tent and trading Pokemon with my cousins. And going to Shining Waters
Bang: Roasting marshmallows (he doesn’t eat them, just roasts them)

2. Who is Anne of Green Gables?

Crash: A girl and she was in a bunch of movies but I completely forget who she is
Bang: Pime Minister?

3. How long will it take to get to PEI?

Crash: Probably about 75 minutes
Bang: 18,000 minutes
(It will take 4 hours)

4. What is something we should do while we are in PEI?

Crash: Go to Shining Waters
Bang: Ride our scooters

5. How many S’mores will you eat in 3 days?

Crash: 10+
Bang: Zero because I don’t like them with marshmallows on them

6. What is something you want to learn about while you’re in PEI?

Crash: Who Anne of Green Gables is
Bang: Being safe

7. What is something you remember from last time we were there? (4 years ago)

Crash: That I got my Cows Ice Cream shirt that said “Gangnum Cow”
Bang: I got scared by the alpaca (an alpaca was laying behind a wall and stood suddenly when Bang approached scaring him. For the longest time we kept him out of places (such as basements) by telling him there alpacas in there)

8. What will we do if it rains while we’re camping?

Crash: Me and my cousins will trade Pokemon cards
Bang: Go in the tent

9. What’s your favorite animal?

Crash: Cat because they’re stealthy and cool
Bang: Camel because people can ride on my humps

10. What country would be fun to visit?

Crash: Houston, Texas
Bang: Alberta… no wait, Newfoundland!
(Seems we need some geography lessons)

Questions I Asked Nanny and Pop

I’ve asked my own parents these questions. And these questions, too. I wish I would have asked DW’s dad these questions, too. It’s a good way to get a glimpse into the past. Sometimes a past I had no part of. A past before my own d a existence. Wonder where I was before I existed…

It’s too hot to ask questions that deep. Over my head. Off the diving board deep end. 

1. What are 3 words your parents would use to describe you?

Moe: Spoiled brat (according to my siblings), Pretty, and a hard worker (I was house cleaning for people when I was 10)
Pop: Good, hard worker (using a pick and sledgehammer when I was 9), Shy

2. How did you meet you meet Pop?

Moe: Taralee (DW) introduced us at Tim Hortons the day she got her driver’s license


3. What was your favorite vacation?

Moe: My trips to Cuba. Was there for 1 week the first time and 2 weeks the second. 
Pop: Cuba. I didn’t have to cook or make beds or anything…


4. What’s one memory of DW that makes you laugh?

Moe: I can laugh now, but it wasn’t funny at the time… She wanted a pair of bib overalls and she kicked and screamed and bawled until she got them. Then she cut the legs off them! Also, when she was a baby (I was carrying her) we got off a plane she pooped herself. Her aunt picked her up and shit was running down her leg!
Pop: We had found a chip that was shaped like an ear. We told her there was a recall on potato chips because a guy had died on the assembly line and ended up in the chips.


5. What’s something you miss from “the good ol’ days?”

Moe: Neighbors and lots of company and people around all time. Now there’s barely anyone…
Pop: No worries


6. If you get reincarnated as an animal, what do you hope to come back as?

Moe: A little kitty to crawl into somebody’s lap and they can pet me all day.
Pop: A frog


7. What’s your karaoke song?

Moe: Nothing… I don’t like singing and I don’t know any songs right through. I used to like to sing “Can I Have This Dance” by Ann Murray
Pop: “If I had a Million Dollars” 


8. What was high school like for you?

Moe: Terrible, because I didn’t like my homeroom teacher, Mr. Horswell. I didn’t like gym and they made me do it. I also didn’t like French because I couldn’t understand it.
Pop: Boring, because after grade 5 had no interest in school whatsoever


9. What are 3 things (shows, sports, etc…) you like to watch on T.V

Moe: Game shows, Family Feud with Steve Harvey, Wheel of Fortune, Who Wants To be A Millionaire, The Price Is Right, Jeopardy. Oh, and cooking shows like “Master Chef”
Pop: Racing and pretty much any game show…


10. What was your first car? What color was it? Do you remember how much it cost? 

Moe: A blue 1987 Ford LTD
Pop: Green ’66 Pontiac Lauretian

How A Canadian Dime Stopped Traffic in Virgina

Today, here in Canadaland, we received a poorly timed rain. The Heavens opened above us during the second inning of Crash’s ball game and Bang’s ball practice. We tried to wait it out, but waiting wasn’t to be had. The rain was as relentless as the questions asked by children. The rain didn’t quit so we did. Called it a day, postponed the game. The parents and kids of Bang’s group soldiered on. They completed their practice. As my mom used to tell me, “You’re not made of sugar. You won’t melt.” Or, “Don’t worry, shit floats.” With baseball done for the night, everyone went home.

Except the Wood family didn’t go home. With the boys still in uniform and cleats, we went to Tim Hortons. The rain may have been dampening the world but our happiness was rising and swirling with the aroma of donuts and freshly brewed coffee. But I’m not here to wax poetic about a fast food coffee shop. 

We horked down our chocolate chip muffin and cookie and Tim Bits then, just as he always does, Bang went to man the door. Or more accurately, boy the door. He loves to play doorman and open the door for those entering and leaving. One time someone gave him a dollar. Another time someone gave him a coupon for a free donut. While the rewards are nice, he does it for the smiles. 

This evening he was given a quarter for his kindness. An American quarter.

Here in Canadaland, we use the same coins as our southern neighber. Granted, we have a couple extra, the loonie ($1) and the toonie ($2). Like our noisy neighbor, we also have a nickel, dime, and quarter. The coins of the two nationalities are interchangable here. No one takes notice when we use American coins.  

However, in the USA that isn’t always the case.

DW and I used to live in Virginia. It was a cozy, sleepy little hide-away town. The nearest pet store that had crickets to feed a couple anoles I had aquired was an hour and a half away. The return trip crossed a toll bridge. Realizing we didn’t have change or cash to pay the toll we stopped at a gas station to use the ATM. Turns out we only had $19 left in our checking account no access to our savings account because it was 1745 and there were no smart phones. We could not withdraw any of that $19 because ATMs only dispense twenties. 

All we needed was two dollars.

We scrounged around our car. Between the seats. Under the seats. In the glove box. In the center console. In the hatch. Under the spare tire.  It’s amazing all the places $2 will try to hide. We found it. We also found that toll booths don’t take pennies. Finally, after an a decade of hunting and gathering we hand over our change and wait with baited breath for the toll clerk to count it. This is when the cars started piling up behind us. 

She continues counting like she’s the fu*king Kingdom’s Master of Coin. Then she hands me back a dime. A God damn dime!

“I can’t accept this. It’s a Canadian dime.” she told us. We were down to one dollar and ninety cents. 

I explained that was all change, all the money, we had to give her. All we had left were pennies. We aready knew she didn’t want those either. Somewhere in the distance behind us a car horn honked. It could have honked all day, it wouldn’t have given us the dime we needed. Thankfully, by the grace of God, she waved us through. We were relieved to be allowed to return home. 

As were the thousands who were waiting behind us.

Never again did we cross that bridge without knowing first hand that we had the money to get back across it. 

Bang took his American quarter home and put it right in his wallet. He knows three more will get him a cookie from Tim Hortons.

A Living Museum from 1745

©Eric Wood/allinadadswork.wordpress.com

Imagine living in a remote location, possible across a cold, giant ocean. Also, it’s 250 years ago. The village you have settled is among the best fishing waters in the world. Your village’s currency is now cod. Though, you yourself still deal with your native France’s livre. In the summer there would be 7-8,000 people. Just 1 or 2,000 come winter time. It was so successful, so profitable that walls 30 feet high were built. 800 soldiers are commissioned to protect the fishing grounds and the village. 400 fishing vessels fill the harbor every day.

Today, just one fifth of that village and it’s reconstructed buildings exist. Its inhabitants are merely actors, characters to educate. Today, a living museum stands in its place. It is a very interesting piece of history.

Settled in 1713 by France the fishing port grew and by the mid 1740s it was the 3rd busiest port in North America after Boston and Philadelphia. The British, seeing it’s success, laid siege to the fortress in 1745 and won. The French tried and failed to take it back the following year. In 1748, the British returned it to France for lands in Austrian Netherlands and a trading post in India. In 1754 a few skirmishes developed into the French and Indian War which expanded into the Seven Years’ War in 1756. In 1758 the British regained control of the fortress after a six week siege. Two years later the British systematically destroyed the fortifications to prevent the French from using the port when peace returned to Cape Breton Island.

Upon our arrival a French soldier greeted us in full uniform complete with musket. He informed us we needed to be out by 5:00 before the gates closed. Should we not be out before the closing we would be stuck inside the fortress but not to worry, there would be plenty of space in the jail to sleep. Our poor little Bang, seeing a soldier in uniform with a gun five feet long, didn’t understand that he was just an actor and he couldn’t stop his tears. Fortunately, the soldier was kind-hearted and gently explained that he was only kidding. He showed him hat (which had fake hair on it to make it look like he had a pony tail) and his gun. Bang was good after that.

On our journey to the Fortress we told the boys that they could ask questions to the people there. Anything they wanted to know they could ask. All the people have French names so they could even ask them that. They are in character and will answer your question as if it is 1740. The Blacksmith, for instance, started working with his father in the forge when he was 7.


FB_IMG_1500347450259There was a cannon demonstration, too. Atop the fortress wall, from the hill upon which the top picture was taken, were two cannons (though they faced outward, of course). Once was loaded with six pounds of gunpowder and fired. The boys (and their parents) were seriously impressed. After the firing we were allowed to approach the armaments to see them for ourselves and to talk to the soldiers in charge. We were informed that the cannons could fire a cannonball 2 miles and it would take about 22 seconds to reach its target. Though the cannon was only accurate at a mile and a half. Again, we were impressed.


After that we listened to another soldier tell us about the muskets. How they work, how to use them, and how to fire it. We even got to see it fired. We were told that musketballs were extremely inaccurate, 50 yards was their maximum range. Soldiers weren’t to fire until they could see the whites of the enemies eyes. This demonstration was Bang’s favorite part of the day.

Just before we left, just before the gates closed, we saw a smaller cannon fire. The boys were impressed by the sound of it. Just think of what it sounded like with all 100 cannons firing along with those on the ships that were storming the harbor!

It was definitely a learning experience and one I hope the boys remember if not forever, at least for a very long time. Characters, questions, cannons, muskets, costumes, buildings, animals, blacksmiths, bread makers…

One busy port

Go Ask Your Father: Pizza, Condensation, Swimming lessons, and Wine

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There are light ones. There are dark ones. DW likes the dark ones. There are big ones, and small ones. There are brown ones and blue ones and yellow ones and orange ones and green ones. Some have nuts, some have caramel, some have pretzels, some have peanut butter. Everyone has their favorite. There’s so much we can learn from a bowl of M&M’s. So much difference, so much deliciousness just hanging out in one place. If only the world were as friendly as your favorite bag of Ms.

1. When and where was pizza first made?

Who cares? All that matters is that we have pizza. I usually don’t trust people who don’t like pizza. It’s the perfect food. You can get your veggies. You can get your meat and dairy and grains. It’s the entire food pyramid on one perfect slice. Hot from the oven and you have a slice of heaven in your hand. However, where and when it came to Earth is much debated. First, you have to define what constitutes “pizza”. If it’s just a flat bread then pizza goes back to the ancient Babylonians, Israelites and Egyptians. If pizza is to have toppings then pizza goes back to the ancient Greeks and Romans who baked flat breads topped with olive oil and available spices. These days, though, we call that focaccia breads. The pizza we know and love with tomato sauce, cheese and stuff originated in Italy. It had been selling like hotcakes by street vendors. However, Raffaele Esposito from Naples is credited with the first pizza. Plagiarised pizza?

2. Why is there water on the outside?

That cup of ice cold Coke is sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon shop. Water puddles on the table at the bottom of my margarita glass. It’s because there’s water in the air. It’s hanging out there as vapor. All invisible and innocent thinking it’s the highest state water can exist in. Then it bumps into the cold glass. The sudden chill makes its molecules slow down and move closer together, like DW and I do in bed on a January night. When all those molecules collect (like the family in bed on Sunday morning) they form visible drops of water. We call it condensation. You can see it on the bathroom mirror after a hot shower. On your eye glasses when you come in from the cold. On glass of ice cold Coke or a frosty margarita.

3. Can we practice swimming again?

A friend has allowed us to use their pool. Found out today it’s 18 feet wide and 32 feet long and about 52 inches deep. This equals 359,424 cubic feet of cool, refreshing water. They love the company, we love the pool (and the company, too). They have 2 incredible granddaughters who the boys enjoy playing and swimming with. Their oldest swims like a fish, like our oldest. The first time we were invited to their pool, their youngest (4 years old) was just learning to swim. Today she was swimming to the bottom for the sinker toys like she was a dolphin. We convinced Bang he could do that, too, if he practiced. Off came his life jacket. Bang said he wanted to practice for 2 minutes. 30 minutes later and he was still practicing. Swimming is a life skill, especially for us because live on an island. By end of summer I predict he’ll be a dolphin, too. Good thing he likes fish.

4. What’s that wine called?

yt-moscato-263x820Remember that friend who invites us to swim in her pool? She give you wine to drink while your kids are swimming. This our secret spot so don’t bother asking. I’d have to kill you if I told you. Today, as a repayment, we took her a bottle of wine. The boys know we enjoy a glass of wine. That ain’t no secret. So they tell us when they’re 19 (the legal drinking age here in Canadaland) they’ll drink wine with us. The wine we chose to share today was a Yellowtail Moscato.

This [yellow tail] Moscato is everything a great wine should be – zingy, refreshing and easy to drink. Passionfruit and melon. Well chilled on its own or with spicy Asian-inspired food. ~ Yellowtail website

It’s good wine and I don’t even like melon. It’s slightly bubbly, slightly sweet, and when you’re poolside, it’s as delicious as a Raffaele Esposito special.

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Questions I Asked My Kids About Camping

It’s official. We’re booked for 3 nights at a campsite in PEI. We’re meeting DW’s brother and his wife and 4 kids there. The boys are excited for multiple reasons, A) we get to sleep in a tent and B) they’ll get to play with their cousins for three days.

Also, we have a free pass for two nights of camping in a national/provincial park. The PEI trip is booked at a family campground. Wide open spaces, but lots for the kids to do. Bang wants to go (and I do, too) camping in a forest (as you’ll read in just a moment). So perhaps we’ll use the 2 night pass for forest camping. We might need a few practice nights in the backyard. Though, what I’m most nervous about what to feed the youngest, pickiest eater besides cookies, granola bars, and crackers.

1. What does it mean to go camping?

Crash: When you put up a tent, talk in a tent, roast marshmallows and stay up til 12:00
Bang: Like roast marshmallows, have fun, and sleep in a tent. You don’t do that at real bedtime

2. What is going to be the most fun about camping?

Crash: Going to Shinning Waters, if we go. (Shinning Waters is a water park so his favorite thing about our planned camping trip has nothing do with camping)
Bang: Roasting marshmallows, probably. Because i burn them

3. What do you want to do while we’re camping?

Crash: Doing our own comedy shows inside the tent
Bang: Go to sleep… err no.. Eat cookies

4. How many nights to you want to sleep in a tent?

Crash: 4 would be good
Bang: 30 years

5. What animal would be really cool to see while we’re camping?

Crash: A moose or an owl
Bang: Deer. I haven’t seen one in like ages

 

6. What is something you hope doesn’t happen while we’re camping?

Crash: The tent catches on fire
Bang:  A bear breaks into our tent

7. What would you do if we saw a bear while camping?

Crash: I know what I do! I would slowly walk away from it because in a book it told you how escape from a bear and it said to slowly walk away from it.
Bang: Get our guns out and shoot in the nose?
Me: Do we have guns?
Bang: We have toy guns.
Me: So you want to shoot it with a Nerf dart?
Bang: Yeah

8. Where (besides PEI) do you want to go camping?

Crash: Disneyland
Bang: In a forest. I’ve never been into the forest.

9. What are we going to eat when we go camping?

Crash: Probably granola bars and cheese and crackers
Bang: Junk, like cookies, granola bars. Oh, don’t forget my favorite kind of crackers from playgroup.

10. What is something we should do to be safe while camping?

Crash: Always have a first aid kit and don’t lose your mind and wander off.
Bang: Stick together so we don’t get lost.

Camping Quote