It’s Like Pulling Teeth!

Our baby isn’t a baby any more. He can dress himself. He can feed himself. He goes to school. He can read, write, and math. He can wipe his own butt.

Nothing shouts, “I’m not a baby anymore!” louder or more clearly than when they lose their first tooth. Where once they had a dazzling smile full of pearly whites, they suddenly have gaps big enough to fit a hockey player through. 

Mind you, when they smile at you and you see their missing teeth you can’t help but smile back. Their smile might become even more contagious than ebola.

Our baby had (notice the past tense) two, technically three, loose teeth. Two of his front teeth were fused together. Behind those two fused teeth was his big kid tooth coming through strong. He resembled a shark with a second row of teeth. The problem was that his big kid tooth was pushing his baby tooth forward instead of upward. It also seemed to be making the baby tooth next to it wiggly as well. Concerned that his tooth wouldn’t come out properly we called our dentist to have a look.

Watching Curious George on a tv mounted on the ceiling


I gotta give the kid props. He was excited to go to the dentist. How many people do you know who actually look forward to going to the dentist? Zero? And yes, he’s been to the dentist before. Twice before, actually.

Up in the chair he went. Around his neck went the bib. In came the dentist. He took a couple measurements of his teeth and the space in Bang’s mouth. He also noticed that the neighboring wiggly tooth was due to a second big kid tooth starting to push upward, though it hadn’t broken through yet. Then he gave the verdict…

Yep, they both needed to come out. Technically, all three since one is really two. He gave Bang the option. We could do it ourselves at home or he could do it there in the office. Bang opted to let the dentist remove them. Bang knew he’d be numbed. He wasn’t worried.

At first.

The dentist rubbed a numbing ointment on his gum first. Once that took effect he used a stronger numbing agent in needle form. Again, Bang was okay. I asked him if he wanted my hand and as best he could with his mouth numb and wide open he told me no.

Then the stronger numbing agent took effect and spread a bit as it was intended to do. That’s when he began to worry. The hygenist ask him if his lip felt like a bump. He responed with, “It feels like a big hill.” Needless to say, he didn’t like it. There may have been a few tears, but the dentist and hygenist were great with him and fed him constant reassurances and wiped his tears. I held his hand and talked to him. 

Then the teeth were pulled. I don’t even want to imagine the pain that would have been felt had his mouth not been numbed. The baby teeth were carefully placed in a tooth shaped container for him to bring home and leave for the tooth fairy.

I bet the Tooth Fairy leaves me a thousand dollars! 

Yes, we have a tooth fairy here. We also have a tooth guardian. It’s thumbsize pewter turtle with a guardian riding its back. The top of the turtle’s shell can be removed to place the pulled/lost/missing/yanked tooth for the fairy to find. 

Tooth Fairy pays well for first lost teeth. She pays even better when it’s two (technically three) teeth. And because he was such a trooper at the dentist, the Tooth Fairy also located the truck he (we) ordered on Amazon a few weeks ago that came this morning. 

I can’t wait to see and hear his reaction in the morning. It’s going to be as priceless as this smile…

Yes, he wore a tie to school today just because he wanted to…

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Sunday Share Week 5

Well, there goes January. Only eleven more months to Christmas!

I know January isn’t officially over, but it’ll be February the next time I write a Sunday Share. I shared a bunch of blogs yesterday in my Mystery Blogger post. They were a bunch of my favorites. Today, I will share some of the newer ones I have discovered. Maybe you’ll find some new ones to follow here, too!
Happy reading!

Kuddos and Kiddos

An amazing letter to her daughter but really is a letter for all of us to share with our kids (one day).

Natalie Breuer

Depression isn’t sadness…

Jim Westcott – Writing for Reluctant Readers

Books, boys, and realistic fiction…

The Opinionated Dad

Dad’s worth at birth… 

Apricots and Admiration

Celebrating marriage in sickness and in health… 

Mystery Blogger Award

Thank you A Momma’s View for this award nomination. I’m honored. I’m flattered. I’m a mystery.

A big shout out goes to the creator of this award, Okoto Enigma, who came up with a really nice way of showing appreciation to other bloggers.

So let’s tackle it 😉

The rules:

  • Display award on blog
  • List rules
  • Mention creator of the award & provide link
  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link
  • Say three things about yourself
  • Nominate 10 to 20 other bloggers
  • Notify nominees by commenting on their blog
  • Answer five questions from your nominee
  • Write five questions for your nominees to answer
  • Share your best post

Three things about me:

I’m stronger than I look. I’m faster than I look. I’m almost as smart as I look.

The bloggers I would like to nominate are:

Ah Dad

Coach Daddy

Grubbs n Critters

That’s What Anxious Mom Said

Green Grapes

Dramatic Momologue

Who’s My Favorite Today?

I know that I have not nominated 10 bloggers or more but those are who easily came to mind. Please pay them a visit and check them out. They are sure worth it 

5 questions for me:

  • What is the dream you most want to achieve?

Survive my kids and grow old with DW. 

  • If you’ve ever been in love, what was it like? If you’ve had your first kiss, what was it like? If not, what is your favorite dessert?

Being in love is like eating your favorite food while watching your favorite movie and washing it down with your favorite drink. My first kiss with DW was like that first piece of candy cane white chocolate Lindor truffle at Christmas time. My favorite dessert is pumpkin pie with a bucket of Cool Whip on top.

  • What do you do when no one’s watching? 

I play the boys’ Nintendo DS (Mario Maker or Mario Kart 7). I sneak chocolate. I might pick my nose and scratch my butt.

  • What is a really embarrassing moment you’ve had?

I can’t list just one as they’re have been many. I got my head stuck in a cinder block when I was two. Though that’s more embarrassing today than it was 38 years ago. My car started acting funny. I barely got it home and told my dad. He took a look at it and told me I ran out of gas.

  • What book that was assigned to you to read by a teacher did you most enjoy reading?

Flowers for Algernon. I read it in high school and enjoyed it. I read it again a couple years ago and enjoyed it even more. 

I actually liked the questions and would love for my nominees to answer the same questions as well.

My favorite post to write was Life Before and After Kids. My most viewed post is The Value of A Teacher.

Go Ask Your Father: Dictionaries, Weekends, Playing, and Airplanes

How long does it take to make a dictionary?

Though it’s writing began in 1857 it’s first volume wasn’t published until 1884. It was estimated to take 10 years to complete but took 70 when a 10 volume edition was published in 1928. This is about the same amount of time it takes me to get DW’s to-do list done, aka the honey-do list. The second edition, twenty volume Oxford English dictionary contains 171,476 defined words. That’s almost as many words as a chatty, world pondering kid can say at bedtime. 

Is it the weekend?

It most definitely is. It’s the time of sleepovers, staying up late, and not sleeping in because kids never sleep in. However, it wasn’t the weekend at the time of this asking. It was a school day. Bang was either looking for a few more minutes of sleep or to sleepover in either his brother’s bed or at Nanny’s house. Most of the time he enjoys his sleep. We normally have to wake him for school. His brother is destined to be a farmer because it’s up at 6 am, sometimes earlier. I saw a FB quote that goes something like this: As a kid I couldn’t understand why parents wanted to sleep so much. As an adult I don’t understand why kids are never tired.

Who’s going to play with me?

Poor Bang. Nobody loves him and he always has to play all alone. Note sarcasm. Sometimes we build a hotwheels races track. Sometimes we play Mario Kart on the Wii. They boys especially love this because they laugh their little heads off when DW swears at her racecar. Sometimes we play Bug Trails. It’s a fun little matching game and I don’t even have to let him win. He beats me fair and square! Sometimes I call “Not It” and I go cook supper. Or I call “Bedtime”. Or I delegate it to his big brother. He’s been tired and cranky this week so playing with him has felt much like petting a porcupine.

Can an airplane fly with no roof?

DW and I watch Mayday, a show on the Discovery Channel that show how and why planes have crashed. While it’s informative and entertaining, it’s also nerve wracking. We have flown numerous times and it makes DW even more nervous to fly. I find it consoling knowing that these issues have happened in the past, they were thoroughly investigated and solved so they don’t happen again. Besides, statistics show that it’s safer to fly than to drive. In one recent episode we watched part of the roof of the fusalage ripped off. 

The plane landed safely and the only fatality was a flight attendent who flew out of the plane when the roof departed. If you remember once upon a time, planes were built with open cockpits. But a plane that’s supposed to have roof and suddenly doesn’t can continue to fly so long at the remainder of the fusalage can handle the stress load and the drag isn’t too great. It’s the wings and tail that provide the lift. Drag (the wind pushing on the plane) will slow the plane down. So long as the plane flies at speeds greats enough to provide sufficient lift, it will carry on soaring with the birds. Other planes have lost parts of it fusalage or cargo doors yet the entire plane went crashing down because it’s drag was so great it couldn’t get lift. DW and I both agree that it would be fun to investigate plane crashes, though it would be disheartening to know that what we were investigating may have caused many to die. I, myself, would love to learn to be a pilot!

Questions I Asked My Kids: Would You Rather…

So apparently I’m doing this blogging this all wrong. DW shared an article with me about a lady who is making over $50,000 a month with her blog. A MONTH! I’d be happy to make that in year, let alone 30 days. She also spends 40-60 hours a week on her blog. I might spend 7-10 if I write every day. 

1. Would you rather drink lemon juice or eat a cricket?

Crash: Drink lemon juice
Bang: Eat a cricket
Mom: Drink lemon juice
Dad: Eat a cricket 

2. Would you rather have stupidly huge hands or huge feet?

Crash: Huge hands
Bang: Huge hands
Mom: Huge hands
Dad: Huge hands

3. Would you rather have your grandmother’s hair or her first name?

Crash: Her Hair
Bang: Her hair
Mom: Her hair
Dad: Her name

4. Would you rather be the best player on a team that never wins or the worst player on a team that never loses?

Crash: Worst player on a team that never loses
Bang: Best player on a team that never wins
Mom: Best player on a team that never wins
Dad: Best player on a team that never wins

5. Would you rather have feet for hands or hands for feet?

Crash: Hands for feet
Bang: Feet for hands
Mom: Hands for feet
Dad: Hands for feet

6. Would you rather be blind or deaf?

Crash: Deaf
Bang: Blind
Mom: Deaf
Dad: Deaf

7. Would you rather be horrible at a job but get paid alot or be perfect at a job and get paid a little?

Crash: Horrible at a job and get paid alot
Bang: Perfect at a job and get paid a little
Mom: Horrible and get paid alot
Dad: Perfect and get paid a little

8. Would you rather be able to only whisper or only shout?

Crash: Shout
Bang: Shout
Mom: Only whisper
Dad: Only whisper

9. Would you rather give up electronics or junk food?

Crash: Junk food
Bang: Junk food
Mom: Junk food
Dad: Junk food

10. Would you rather have an elephant trunk for a nose or a giraffe’s neck?

Crash: Elephant trunk
Bang: Giraffe’s neck so I can go through the ceiling
Mom: Elephant trunk
Dad: Elephant trunk

I encourage you to ask your family member these questions. Bonus points if you can guess their answer!

Happy Birthday DW!

6:15am this morning…
Bang (5 years old): Moooooom (hollered from bed)
Mom: Yeah, buddy?
Bang: Is it your birthday?
Mom: Yeah.
Bang: Well, then, lets go!
Mom: Go where?
Bang: Make your cake and Walmart!

I’ve known her for 14 years. That’s 5,110 days.That’s 5,110 days of laughing so hard we fart and laughing even harder. That’s 5,110 days of learning to work as a team, which mostly means that if we do it her way we’ll get it right the first time. That’s 5,110 days creating memories we’ll laugh at until we’re the age we can’t remember why we’re laughing.

That’s almost a whole mile worth of days. And not a day goes by that I’m not thankful for her. She’s kept me out of more trouble than one person should be responsible for. My mom is relieved to not be the one responsible for me anymore. DW exercises daily. She does more eye rolls by 8 am than a 9 year old “pre-teen” will do all day. 

She is beautiful, which is why I married her.

She is brilliant, which is why I married her.

She is hilarious, which is why I married her. 

She has big…. uh… calves. They’re are crazy strong, which is why I married her. She was once told in a gas station by a big, black man who was built like a freight train, “Damn, girl. You got some fine legs. I wouldn’t trade those legs for Cindy Crawford’s legs!”

She’s the mother of my children and the woman in my dreams. As a true Jedi, she’s strong with the force. Thankfully, she reminds me more of slave Leia than Yoda. 

Today is her birthday. Today’s the day she turns the big four-oh. 

That’s 40. That’s 14,600 days. Here’s to another 365 day journey around the sun!

,

Hmmm…

Have you ever wanted to write?

Have you ever wanted to just sit and sling so much wisdom and insight that your readers were left more amazed than a Cirque de Soleil audience?

I have numerous (26) drafts in my draft folder, but I don’t feel like writing about the state of our education system. That’s already been covered and really, there isn’t much I could say about that to leave people with the feeling of amazement. My blog is 92.5% centered on parenting as I tend to write about the boys, Crash and Bang. But they’ve frustrated me recently and I don’t feel like writing about them either. There’s nothing amazing about the piles of ice about to rain down on us sometime tomorrow. Except maybe the pictures. I’ll save a thousands words by posting pictures of it tomorrow. 

I want to write something so amazing you’ll be left sitting in your chair slack jawed and gasping for breath. It’ll be so brilliant you’ll need to wear sunglasses under a welding visor. 

But I got nothin’.

Not a flicker.

Not a spark.

Not a thought worthy of a hangry toddler.

Have you ever wanted to spew soliloquy so splendidly, but the only words you’re spewing are synonymous of a lactose intolerant infant after breasfeeding? Have you ever wanted to shine like the light of a thousand dessert suns, but came up with nothing more than the universe’s largest, blackest hole? 

Me, too.

Sunday Share Week 4

Some bug has infected our house so you might want to read this from a safe distance. Definitely wash your hands with soap and hot water afterwards. Bang caught it last Thursday. Crash caught it last night. I’m not feeling so hot myself. With the exception of DW and Bang going grocery shopping it’s been a pretty quiet day around here.  But you didn’t come here for that. Or at least I hope you didn’t. You came to find some good reads. So what did I find for you this fourth week of January?

Happy reading!

Fatty McCupcakes
What you might see while sitting on the toilet…

Four Princesses and the Cheese
How Disneyland just got better…

Green Grapes
A dose of the HAHAHAs…

Not the Average Mama
When a kid wants a push on the mood swing…

Making Time for Me
On making time…

Messy Goes to Okido – a science show we watch a hundred times a day…

Go Ask your Father:

Bang insisted on deep conversation this evening over fish, broccoli, and smashed potatoe supper. Where did the universe come from? Who were the first people on Earth? Can you think when you’re dead? Sometimes I’m not sure I’m the one who should be answering his questions. I do the best I can. Naturally, answering his question will create three more questions. 

Why do we swallow?

During a recent ride in the RAV4 Bang was fed up with constantly having to swallow his saliva. I wouldn’t allow him to spit in the truck, either.  I told him he had to swallow his spit so he wouldn’t choke on it. He also had to swallow food so he wouldn’t starve. To make matters worse, I added that he has to swallow liquid so he wouldn’t die of thirst. Said food and drink is technically called a bolus. Our tongue pushes food and drink to the back of the mouth where the pharynx moves it along to the esophagus which will deliver to our stomach. During this process the epiglottis (our airway) closes so we don’t asperate or suffocate.It came up again at suppertime. Food, apparently, takes too long is way too much work to swallow one bite at time. He wanted his supper in his stomach and it was to get there immediately.

What’s that blue planet?

I was nervous because I was afraid he wanted me say “Yer-Anus” (I say “Yer-uh-nus”) fortunately he was thinking of Neptune. Unfortunately, I don’t remember why he was asking. Discovered in 1846 (about the time I entered first grade), it has 14 moons and 5 rings. It appears blue because of methane found in its atmosphere. Even though it’s smaller than Yer-uh-nuh it has a greater mass because of it’s heavy atmosphere. It’s atmosphere encloses layers of water, ammonia, and methane ice while the core of the planet is rock. When I Google what methane smells like all I get are results that include sewer gas. Neptene smells like a sewer. Thank God it’s 2.7 billion miles away.

Who farted?

Around here it could have been anyone. We don’t have a dog to blame it on, either. Birds don’t fart, so we can’t blame Piper. Most likely it was Crash. He’s proud of the gas he passes. Though, Bang can be equally proud, he’s more of “Can I sit on your lap?” then fart and leave kind of kid. Ammonia and hydrogen sulfide, two gasses created in the intestine during food digestion, are the culprits behind the stench that makes us gag, makes our eyes water and peels paint off the walls. Don’t be surprised if you get called a flappy-arse if you’re ever heard farting within our house.

Who’s going to play with me?

Mr. Needy likes when people play with him. He’s not so good at entertaining himself sometimes. The basement is creepy for him. He doesn’t like the blinky lights on the wireless router. He also doesn’t like how quiet it is. Never mind the amount of noise he conjures up while playing. It wakes the dead. So when he asks, “Who’s going to play with me?”  we all look at each other. If one of just played with him we’ll play the “your turn” card. Sometimes I’m able to play the “I’m cooking supper” card. Most times someone will go entertain him. Trucks. Lego. Mario Kart on the Wii. Trains. Racecars on the Hotwheels track. There are endless possibilities. Until someone farts and smells worse than Neptune. Then it’s game off. 

You know a relationship is serious when you can fart in front of the other person.

Being God

Perhaps Jesus was God’s son. Perhaps Jesus was God himself. Either way, it is said that when Jesus walked our mortal Earth he was a worker of miracles. He could make the blind to see, cripples to walk, dead to live. I’m not here to preach to you though.

Then it came to me…

We parents are God, too. Think about it…

Jesus healed the sick. We know that having a sick child is miserable for everyone. So we do everything we can to make them better. Snuggles. Cool baths. Medicine. Lots of sleep. A trip to the hospital to see a doctor if warranted. We bestow upon them our powers of healing. Granted, it’s not as instantaneous, but still, we, too, heal the sick.

Jesus clothed the poor. From their very first breath outside of their mother’s womb we put clothes on our children. We plan what outfit they’ll wear home from the hospital. We buy clothes month after month after month after… as they outgrow outfits faster than they can put them on. WTH? They just tried on those pants at the store and they outgrew them on the way home! And our kids are dirt poor so they need us for clothes.

Jesus fed the hungry. Sometimes with fish and garlic bread. We feed the hungry, too. Sometimes with hotdogs and macaroni and cheese. Sometimes with pizza. Most times with veggies, we hope. We can’t keep food in the house. “Can I have a snack” soon evolves into “I’m hungry” which eventually becomes a shortened grunt, “Imungry“. They eat a full meal and minutes later they come back looking for a snack. They seem to eat their way through a dozen grocery bags of food on the way home from the grocery store.

We may not have all the patience of The Shephard, but we do what we can for our little sheep. We heal them, we clothe them, and we feed them month after month, year after year whether they worship us or not.