Questions I Asked My Kids: The #MyMomChallenge

Erika, The Dorky Mom Doodler, Mom, doodler, and general, all round great blogger, set forth this #hashtag challenge on Mother’s Day. These questions are all about our loving, beautiful, slightly nuts, Mother. Or as I call her, DW. Dee Dub is her rapper name.

I saved these questions for today as the gift that keeps on giving. And because Thursdays are questions days, not Sundays. So Happy Belated Mother’s Day. Here’s your laugh.

1. My mom is _____ years old and weighs _____ pounds.

Crash: 40; 190 something
Bang: 41; 15

2. My mom is good at cooking _____ and is not so good at cooking _____.

Crash: Lasagna; Keto pizza
Bang: pancakes; nothing, she cooks everything good.

3. If my mom were a superhero, her name would be ______ and her superpower would be _____.

Crash: Tara; shooting lasers out of her eyes
Bang: Supermom; Flying and punching and kicking

4. And if my mom were a villain, her name would be ______ and she would use her evil powers to _____.

Crash: Bad Mom; Take over the world
Bang: Taralee the Villain; Join her evil and apacolypse the world

5. I love it when my mom ______.

Crash: Snuggle me
Bang: snuggles me!

6. When my mom is driving, she _________.

Crash: gets white knuckles
Bang: is not a maniac

7. I like it when my mom _______ and I don’t like it when my mom _________.

Crash: lays with me at night; yells at me
Bang: plays games with me; yells

8. My mom does not like to _______.

Crash: Be annoyed
Bang: go on the trampoline

9. My mom does ________ the best and _________ the worst.

Crash: Snuggles; Pokemon battles
Bang: everything; cooks speghetti

10. I’m thankful for my mom because ___________.

Crash: She loves me
Bang: She’s the best hugger.

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Because Parenting is Funny

It’s Tuesday.

It’s a good day for a laugh. I hope one of these tickles your funny bone.

Questions I Asked My Kids: The Mom Edition

“Day two. Seven black and white photos of your life. No people. No explanation. Challenge someone new each day.”

Thanks, A Momma’s View for the challenge

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If you recall, last week was the one year anniversary of the questions episodes. I asked 23 questions all about Dad. This week, I’ve flipped it and made it all about Mom.

Mom Mom, she’s the bomb/ Rockin all night until the break of dawn…

She’s the crazy glue holding us all together. She’s the Jedi using the force to bend wills with her mind. She’s got the one ring to rule us all. If mama ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy. But all we really need to know is “because she said so, that why.”

As always, feel free to steal these questions to ask your own kids (no matter how old they are). Just be sure to tag me so I can read their answers.

1. What is something Mom always says to you?
Crash: “Go clean something” or “Get ready for school!”
Bang: Get upstairs

2. What makes Mom happy?
Crash: Trips and vacations
Bang: When Piper gives mom kisses

3. What makes Mom sad?
Crash: When she thinks of Guppie
Bang: When Piper bites mom instead of giving kisses

4. How does Mom make you laugh?
Crash: By making seriously stupid faces
Bang: When she stomps and claps when she’s copying my brother

5. What was Mom like as a child?
Crash: She liked to do crafts and play outside
Bang: She liked to play around and she loved to eat

6. How old is Mom?
Crash: 40
Bang: 40 and a hav (he typed it himself)

7. How tall is Mom?
Crash: 73cm
Bang: 8 feet

8. What is Mom’s favorite thing to do?
Crash: Color her weird circle coloring things
Bang: sleep

9. What does Mom do when you’re not here?
Crash: Clean the house and deal with work kinda sorta work situation thingys
Bang: Clean

10. If Mom becomes famous what will it be for?
Crash: For her hugs, she nearly squeezes my eye balls out!
Bang: Going on stage with Ellen DeGeneres

11. What is Mom really good at?
Crash: Making sure I have everything when I’m going somewhere like Nan’s or school
Bang: Cleaning

12. What is Mom not very good at?
Crash: Play Mario Kart. She says “Bastard bastard”
Bang: Going to sleep

13. What is Mom’s job?
Crash: Adult teacher
Bang: Working at work

14. What makes you proud of Mom?
Crash: Get through work days, pay the bills and keep me alive (Feed me, shelter me, etc…)
Bang: I can’t think of anything except cleaning

15. What is Mom ’s favourite food?
Crash: Chocolate macaroons
Bang: Keto diet pie!

16. What do you and Mom do together?
Crash: Snuggle and play Mario Kart sometimes
Bang: Sleep. She goes on that side of my bed and I go on this side and we sleep together

17. How are you and Mom the same?
Crash: We have the same last name and we both like chocolate
Bang: We both go to sleep at the same time and we both have a heart and brain and hands

18. If your Mom was a cartoon character who would he be?
Crash: Either Starfire from Teen Titans Go, or Diasy from Mickey Mouse
Bang: Padme Amadala

19. How are you and Mom different?
Crash: We have different middle names, She cleans and I don’t
Bang: We don’t have the same brain or skin color and she has bigger boobier boobies

20. How do you know Mom loves you?
Crash: She snuggles me and lays with me, but she doesn’t scratch my back
Bang: She kisses me

21. What does Mom like best about Dad?
Crash: That you shave your beard and you can be very silly sometimes
Bang: That you’re married and you kiss each other

22. Where is Mom ’s favorite place to go?
Crash: Home
Bang: Haunted houses

23. How old was Mom when you were born?
Crash: 30
Bang: 10

If you’re questioning where else you can follow me, look no further than Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

DW doesn’t fake sleep, she real sleeps.

 

Sunday Share Week 20: The Mother’s Day Edition

It takes a village to raise a child.

I had my share of mother’s growing up. My own mother who made sacrifices to make sure I got to play sports – baseball, soccer, and in high school, wrestling. Then there we all my friend’s mothers who often times allowed me over for sleepovers and would feed me and make sure my mom knew where I was. Then there were my two mother-in-laws who took me into their family as if I was one of their own.

Then there is DW, the mother of my children. Not only does she keep our kids in line, but she’s taken over keeping me in line, too. Kind of like the passing of the torch.

It takes a village.

KS Beth
Moms and circuses…

Erika Kind
100 years…

A Momma’s View
An unpaid, full-time job…

Ah Dad
Scoring brownie points…

Sheila Moss
Trying to say thanks…

M is for… #atozchallenge

 is for the real super heros, the boss of the house, the ever loving mothers. Known as Mommy, Mom, Mum, Ma, and Mooooooooooooom! they are the wise ones, the protectors, the sacrificers. They take on a job with no pay, no vacation time, on call 24/7 and they do it willingly. This post is about them

I’ve got so many Moms in my life that I’m convinced it has taken that many to keep me alive this long. My own mom kept me alive until I went off to university. She raised me right and was able to impart just enough sense and know how so I could fend for myself. My friends’ moms took care of me, too. Watching out for me, calling my mom when I made it to their house, etc… Now I have the mother of my own children, her mom and her stepmom looking after me, too. Am I lucky? I’m 40 and still kickin’. I’d say I’m lucky.

Moms, you make sacrifies we dad’s only dream of making. You give up your time, your money, your energy, your space, even your body and your junk food to make sure your kids have everything they need or want. Working all day, or staying home all day with kids, then having the energy to cook supper and go through the three billion step bedtime routine is a super power not even Ironman can compete with. 

Female = Fe (iron) + Male (man) = Ironman

This post is for the moms who can laugh through tough times. Perhaps the kids broke another window. Perhaps the kids managed to somehow get blueberry yogurt on the wall, the ceiling, the floor, the fridge and 2 wall hangings. Perhaps they’re just tired and restless and stuck on an airplane. Either way, you always do what you have to do and move on. Then look back and laugh at how stressful it seemed to be.

This post is for the moms who are too strong to break. Or perhaps just too strong to break in front of their children. Through financial burdens, busy schedules, no time for yourself, and the worst of the worst, you keep it together, you stay strong. Or perhaps you break down and your children see that it’s okay to break down and talk about the troubles. 

This post is for you moms who support each other. There isn’t much greater in parenthood than parents who help each other. Whether they watch your kid after school or bring over a bottle of wine after the kids are in bed, the support is inspiring. 

But mostly, this post is for you moms who give up your nights and weekends for sports, for dance, for band, for travel, for family… You go to parent/teacher night. You know your kids favorite food make sure it’s well stocked. You play Barbie, you play trucks, you play. 

We dad’s are forever in awe of how you do it. You get it all done and it amazes us. 

Cheers, Moms!

Questions I Asked My Kids

These kinds of posts usually happen on Thursday. They’re my rules so I can break ’em if I want to. I feel like I’ve been watching education systems fall apart. DeVos, who has no experience in public schools and various other major skills, has become Trumps Education Secretary. Here in Nova Scotia, teachers are in their 3rd month of a work to rule strike because classroom conditions no longer meet students’ needs. But those are posts for another time on another day. Today we need a smile and a laugh. Who better to look to for that laugh than a certain 5 and 9 year old. Crash and Bang can deliver a laugh faster than a Superbowl commercial. 

1. How fast can you run?

Crash: I’d say… fast. 15 miles an hour
Bang: A million miles ahead of a car

2. Where does snow come from?

Crash: Comes from rain. Rain gets cold then it falls as snow.
Bang: Clouds

3. Why do birds fly?

Crash: So they can get around easier 
Bang: To get to their home because walking would be too slow

4. What’s something Guppie (their grandfather) always said?

Crash: I’ve got a surprise for you (Kindereggs)
Bang: I’m going to make stew

5. What is something that will remind you of Guppie?

Crash: His cottage, throwing rocks, teaching us how to curse
Bang: About talking to Nanny Sharon, throwing rocks, snuggling under the warm (electric) blanket, and lots of money – he gave me lots of money.

6. Can you tell me a story or a dream you had?

Crash: I had a dream. From that TV show Ghost Adventures except it was me and my friends and not the guys on the show. Rocks were being thrown horizontally at us from nowheres. I sat next this guy and felt this draft of really freezing cold air around us.(Guess we won’t be watching that show again)
Bang: I was playing on the new Nintendo Switch and I was playing Yoshi’s Wooly World and I got hit by a big ginormous metal spider robot.

7. Why does Dad love Mom?

Crash: Because she’s beautiful and funny and has a great sense of humor
Bang: Because she’s his wifey

8. Why does Mom love Dad?

Crash: Because he has strong muscles
Bang: Because he gives hugs and kisses

9. How many TimBits can you eat?

Crash: one jillion ten thousand nine hundred ninety nine
Bang: 3,001

10. How do you know Mom and Dad love you?

Crash: Because they let us stay up late, they feed us supper, put a roof over our heads and give us clothes
Bang: Because we snuggle.

21 Questions I Asked My Wife

I highly encourage you ask your spouse these questions. The laughs you get will make it well worth it. I’m not even sure where I found these, but here they are for your enjoyment (and mine). 

Q: Would you rather I be completely hairless or as hairy as a gorilla?
A: Completely hairless

Q: What actress would play you in a movie about your life?
A: Katie Holmes (or Emilia Clarke or Megan Fox if Katie isn’t available)

Q: Who would play your love interest (aka, me) in a movie about your life?
A:  Kelly Slater or Howie Mandel or Billy Zane (from The Titanic) (she also named Mr. Magoo)

Q: Would you rather our children grow up to be 8 feet tall or 3 feet tall?
A: 8 feet tall

Q: If you had to go a week without your phone, what would you miss the most about it?
A: Wunderlist (our grocery/to do list)

Q: What do you like most that I do in bed?
A: Scratch my head

Q: What was your first impression of me? Did you ever dislike me?
A: My first thought was “Wow, he’s really short.” and “Why’s he’s wearing a trench coat?”

Q: What’s your favorite memory of our wedding day?
A: Seeing how excited you were when the bagpiper piped us into our reception

Q: If you woke up tomorrow as a man, what would be the first three things you’d do?
A: Stratch my junk, play with my junk, and pee standing up

Q: Would you rather use whipped cream or hot fudge?
A: Depends on what we’re using it for… 

Q: What do you think is your best physical feature?
A: My smile

Q: What do you think is my best physical feature?
A: Your bum

Q: If you could be on any reality TV show, which one would it be?
A: Gold Rush so I could drive a bulldozer or a big digger

Q: Have you ever obsessed over anything? (toys, movies, projects, people, problems)
A: New Kids on the Block

Q: What were your nicknames growing up, including the ones you didn’t want to stick?
A: Smurfette, Shit-heels, Pissy-Liz, Bimp, Boo, Snugglebum

Q: If I let you dress me, what would I wear on our next date?
A: Dark jeans, brown shoes, and a nice button up shirt (she knows I hate brown shoes)

Q: Would you ever role play in bed?
A: Yes.

Q: Yoga pants or skirts?
A: Yoga pants

Q: What song would you sing for your audition on The Voice?
A: As I Lay Me Down by Sophie B. Hawkins or The First Cut Is the Deepest by Sheryl Crow

Q: Is there a food that reminds you of me?
A: Hearty Chicken Bake

Q: Is there a memory you have or me that always makes you laugh?
A: Holey underwear

Happy Birthday Nana!

It may be the first day of winter, but it’s also my Mom’s birthday! Happy birthday Mom! She also goes by the name Nana.

Questions I Asked My Kids (ep. 28)

It’s been a couple weeks since we didn’t do this last week. We’ve been busy kayaking with whales and whale watching and basketball practice and religion class. I hope fall is finally finding you this November. It has certainly arrived here. Especially the temperature! Brrr. So without further ado, here is your laugh for the weekend.

Here come 10 more questions that are sure to tickle your funny bones.

1. How fast does Dad drive?
Crash: Depends on where you are and what the speed limit sign says. 
Bang: 113 miles

2. How fast does Mom drive?
Crash: The same speed you do
Bang: 300 limits

3. Who is a better driver and why?
Crash: Dad, I have no clue why
Bang: Dad, because he drives 113 and mom drives 300

4. Why is it cold outside?
Crash: Uh… so we can play in the snow in winter
Bang: Because the trees are sneezing

5. What is something you did that was “bad”?
Crash: Tons of stuff… I messed up the basement, I made my brother cry… 
Bang: Made a mess

6. What is something you did that was “good”?
Crash: I played with my brother
Bang: I cleaned

7. What song do you like to dance to?
Crash: Timmy Trumpet- “Freaks”

Bang: Timmy Trumpet – “Freaks”

8. How long do you sleep at night?
Crash: God knows how long because I go to bed around 9 and get up at 6.
Bang: 30 hours

9. What is your favorite book to read or have read to you?
Crash: Diary of A Minecraft Zombie
Bang: I’m A Frog by Mo Willems

10. How many M&M’s do you think you can eat?
Crash: 10 bazallion 700 thousand 5 hundred 16
Bang: 3,000

You can now watch their answers!

Questions I Asked My Parents (ep 2)

Today is your lucky day folks. Since I didn’t get around to posting the boys answers yesterday I thought I’d give you a double dose. My parents have graciously answered 10 more questions for me. Enjoy a look back and a good laugh!

1. What is something you like to do now that Brad and I are not longer living at home?

Ma: There isn’t much. I’d prefer to have you back home. But here’s one. I can shower with the bathroom door open.
Pa: eating snacks like potato chips then going to bed without being asked “whats you been eating ?” by a little one. Then there’s relaxing on the couch without worrying about my eyes drying out from an errantly thrown sock.

2. What was it like where you grew up?

Ma: Pittsburgh & Frostburg are the same but different. They both get bunches of snow. Frostburg is a small college town and the area of Pittsburgh that I lived in has a small town feel. I loved both.
Pa: really rural, lots of room to roam outside and wander safely in the woods.

3. What did you like to watch on TV as a kid?

Ma: Saturday morning was Roy Rogers. At 5 years old I quit dance lessons because they were the same time as Roy.
Pa: Sci-Fi the World Beyond  , The Outer Limits & the Twilight Zone  then cartoons like Bugs unny, Road Runner & Popeye. But I shouldn’t forget the Orioles too.

4. Do you remember a favorite costume Brad and I wore? That you wore?

Ma: Favorite costume has to be the crayons. I have no idea what I wore as a child.
Pa: You both were crayons. Me? Well there is a little known story where my mom claims I dressed as a girl when I was around 8 yrs old, marched in a Halloween parade and won a silver dollar ( I think I sort of remember that so it could be true ) and since I like silver dollars that would be my favorite.

5. Which pet was your favorite? Why?

Ma: Mackie is my favorite. As a pup he chose me as opposed to the other way around. He was always happy.
Pa: Mackie – We went to look at a group of puppies and he came out of the bunch like he wanted us, especially mom. After that he grew into a take charge little guy, would kill snakes and birds and even had a yellow lab scared of him but he was always a loving sole.

Crash and Mackey (Dec. 2008)

6. What is your dream vehicle?

 

Ma: An old Jeep or a luxury SUV
Pa: A Time Machine

7. How did you two meet? What was your first date like?

Ma: I met Dad at his surprise birthday party that his roommate threw for him.  We didn’t start dating until after Dad graduated so we did long distance dating which doesn’t lead to normal first dates.
Pa: College, my birthday party.

8. What was your favorite thing about college?

Ma: My friends & Dendrology class
Pa:  learning to make new friends and be on my own (remember I was 1 of 7 kids)

(I Googled it for you. They were both forestry majors) 

9. What was your first regular paying job? How old were you and how much did you make?

Ma: Thrift Drugstore cashier, I was 17 and I couldn’t begin to tell you what I earned.
Pa: cutting grass and trimming hedges at the Daffin House (it is a historic house built around 1780), probably about $ 1.00 per hour (more than enough , I was 12 and rode my bike to work )

10. Where was your favorite place to take my brother and I?

Ma: As wee ones, the beach; Older, sporting events. I loved watching you both play and enjoyed friends in the stands.
Pa: Gettysburg, little league games & wrestling tournaments , Dairy Queen (just let your Canadian friends know that was an ice cream place)

(Don’t worry Canada, I’ll let him know we have DQ here, too. There is even one right here in our little town)

Update: I asked my dad where he’d go in his time machine. This was his response…

a couple of times actually

1. exactly who built the pyramids and how
2. exactly how big were dinosaurs 
3. maybe the day before the rain started falling on Noah
4. did they really feed christians to the lions
5. watch babe ruth play baseball
6. Battle of Gettysburg
7. Catch a ride on the Mayflower
8. and of course go back to your sophomore year wrestling tournament and suggest you let your opponent up and give up 1 point instead of giving up a reversal and 3 back points. (this is in reference to a wrestling match I lost in the final few seconds. Been playing the “I shoulda” game ever since.)

wre

Thanks for playing along Ma and Pa! Love you bunches!