Go Ask Your Father: Fans, Vibrators, Trampoline Physics, and Boobs

Amen Halleluja! It’s Friday! Here in Canadaland it’s a long weekend. Victoria Day and all. And Prince Harry is getting married. Do you have your recorders set to record? I know some who have their recorders set to record EVERY channel airing The Wedding. A teacher arrived at school today dressed as if she were invited to the wedding. It was great!

Now lets get this weekend started!

How do fans cool us off?

Fans make us cool by cheering loudly for us. The cooler we are the louder they cheer. My fans are willing to holler down aisle six of the local grocery store, “Hi! Mr. Wood!” Of course I holler back. But he wasn’t talking about those kinds of fans or that kind of cool. When moving air hits you, whether it’s a fan or the wind or a kid running by at mach 2.3, the wind will feel cooler than nonmoving air. As the air zips by your skin it grabs tiny particles of moisture like a boy stealing a cookie out of your hand. Not wanting to be stolen by itself, the moisture takes a bit of heat with it because it takes energy to turn from the liquid on your skin to a gas in the air. This energy comes in the form of heat. You feel this loss of heat as coolness. This is why you feel colder getting out of the shower, pool, lake, pond, ocean, or mud puddle. As the water evaporates off your skin it takes heat with it on a date to make a cloud. If only I could achieve Ryan Reynolds coolness this way.

How do cell phones vibrate?

By getting a call, email, Twitter or Instagram notification. But what makes it buzz and

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shiver and vibrate like it’s trying Zumba for the first time? A motor, but not any regular motor you find in your Harley. This tiny motor is only one centimeter long. When it receives it’s electrical signal it spins a shaft on which is an offset weight. Offset here means that it’s lopsided, like my friend’s head. So it’s heavier on one side than the other. Therefore, when it spins it shakes like a Big Wheel on a cobble stone road. This kind of motor creates a vibration in 360 degrees as the weight spins around the shaft.

vibrationmotor-01-l

The other kind of vibrator your phone might be equipped with is small but powerful. Size doesn’t matter, right? This motor works in much the same way as a shaft vibrator, by spinning an off center mass. However, haptic motors create linear (side to side) vibrations as it’s just a disk that spins. Imagine a record (LP?)(vinyl?)(giant black CD) that has one side shaved off. Now imagine spinning it 17,000 rpms. All this about shafts and vibrators reminds me of Buzz and Woody. (from the movie!)

How do you launch us on the trampoline?

The boys love it when I join them on the trampoline. However, I’ve discovered I’m exactly I-can-only-jump-for-a-half-hour years old. Not to brag, but I am a good launcher though. According to Bang, I’m a better launcher than Crash. I think it’s because my ass weighs about fifty (WTH? Only 50?) more than he does. There is a bit of science happening and I find it rather interesting. There is a lot of fancy math about elastic energy, but I’ll leave that out of this post. It’s certainly not what I’m thinking about while I’m jumping. Imagine shooting your spouse with a rubber band elastic. If you were wise you’ll only pull the elastic back a little bit so it flies gently. If you’re a glutton for punishment you’ll haul back on the elastic, let it fly, then run like hell. The more tension you put on it, the more potential energy you give it. Therefore, the more potential energy it has the more it transforms to kenetic when you let it go. The same thing happens on the trampoline, though it happens vertically as opposed to horizontally like the elastic. My extra 50 pounds gives the trampoline more potential energy as my weight pushes down harder. If I time my landing just right, I get the mat at it’s maximum tension at the exact same time as 50 pound Bang lands. Then he’s launched skyward with three times the amount of energy that he could have given it by himself. Or 50 pounds more force than if his brother had launched him.

Why do you have to get your boobs checked?

Bang is a boob man. He loves to demonstrate that he is exactly boob height to his mother. That’s a good height to be. Obviously, this question was not directed at me. Though men are not immune to breast cancer, either. Which sort of answers the question. DW left for her mammogram appointment a half hour before we left for school and the boys thought it strange. Naturally, it triggered many more questions which will make their debut in the coming weeks. Breast cancer occurs when malignant tumors form either in the cells of the lobules (the milk producing glands) or the ducts (the passages leading from the lobules to the nipple. If left undetected it will spread to underarm lymph nodes. For cancer cells, the lymph nodes are a highway to the rest of the body. Annual screening tests are ideal for catching it early. So no matter if you’re A cup or DD cup, go get checked. Or get you’re hubby to. He’d be a fool to turn that chore. By the way, no cancer has been detected in DW since she start doing annual mammograms.

  • According to BreastCancer.org 1 in 8 women will develop invasive breast cancer.
  • Breast cancer is the second only to skin cancer.
  • A woman’s risk of breast cancer doubles if she has a first-degree relative diagnosed.
  • 85% of diagnosed breast cancers occur in women with no family history of breast cancer.

Save the whole woman while you’re at it

12 thoughts on “Go Ask Your Father: Fans, Vibrators, Trampoline Physics, and Boobs

    • They vaguely understand cancer. Their grandfather had lung cancer and their grandmother had colon cancer. We also use to do the Relay for Life ever year (a cancer research fundraiser). Have a great weekend, Terri!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Pingback: Go Ask Your Father: Helicopters, Peppercorns, CCs, and Cancer | All In A Dad's Work

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