So I was in substituting yesterday. I was in another teacher’s classroom chatting and there were a couple other kids there hanging out until their bus arrived. I didn’t catch all of their conversation. However, I did hear enough of it to make me laugh.
“My mom was too tired to take me. She had too many kids to watch so she was too tired and I couldn’t go.”
I wonder how many “too many kids to watch” was? Surely, it couldn’t have been 20 4 and 5 year olds, which is how many I had in the class I was subbing in. Or it couldn’t have been 25 7 year olds, which is what the teacher who I was chatting with had. What constitutes as too many kids? I’ll save my “smaller classes” rant for another day.
1 Why are there so many bumps and tunnels?
This is one from the backseat while travelling down a road that was in less than ideal condition. The bumps were potholes and worn down asphalt. Winters here in Canada are exactly as you’d expect. Salt is used on the roads here. When the road gets a crack, salt gets in it and exaggerates the freeze/thaw cycle. Then the plows come through scraping the roads. Their blades tear up these spots where the salt has been quietly weakening the roads and gravel bed underneath and we’re left potholes big enough to swallow a Buick whole. The tunnels are simply overpasses. Most are for road vehicles. One is for a train (though we’ve never seen a train on it). Bang will go absolutely wild the day we spot a train crossing the bridge.
2 What’s shuga?
♪ And ooh, baby, it’s the ultimate feeling
♪ You’ve got me lifted, feeling so gifted
♪ Sugar, how you get so fly?
3 If you’re a farmer do you need a cowboy hat?
Created in the 1850’s by a prospector and cowboy named none other than John Stetson . The original “Boss of the Plains” idea was borrowed from the Mexican’s sombrero worn by vaqueros. But more than just providing protection from the sun it also was a wind blocker, head warmer, rain, blocker, water carrier, a bowl, a flag, horse trough, or the finishing touch to any cowboy so fly.
4 What makes us fart?
For those who saw the tweet earlier this week, you knew this question was coming.
For those who have raised or are raising boys, you knew this question was coming, too. Whether it rattles the windows or is silent but deadly, farts are funny. Properly timed, they can be funnier than when Bang loudly hollered to his brother on stage in a silent, fully packed auditorium at the choir concert (the entire audience and the entire choir laughed). Everyone farts. Not all of us admit it. Some of us blame on the kids or the dog or the hamster. And if you’re looking for a fart story that will leave you in tears check out hilarious HaHas for HooHas nearly destiny changing story.
Farts are produced when we swallow air while eating and drinking and by gasses forming in our stomachs and intestines while they digest the food we ate. Hydrogen sulfide is what makes them smell bad. The more sulfur-rich diet you consume, the smellier your farts will be. Hence, things like beans, cabbage, cheese, and soda will help you peel the pain off the walls. However, it’s the termite, though, that holds the record for most farts of any animal.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a class that needs some crop dusting.
If love is “not having to hold your farts in anymore”, then you must have loved me the day you met me! You’re such a charmer.
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I was a classy kinda guy, wasn’t I? No wonder you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me 🙂 LUBOO! ❤
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I fart because I love you 🙂
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I’m feelin’ it, ’cause I am raising a snot nosed little boy myself, again. I done raised one, he’s in Kansas now and I’m a Grandpa.
I enjoy your writing and the stories hit close to home 😀
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So you fully understand the frequency at which kids can ask questions. Congrats on reaching grandpa status. Thanks for the kind words man. Means a lot.
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I do fully understand lol I also understand the rapid fire way one says Daddy …. 20 times before I can say What?
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If I hadn’t read this, I wouldn’t know termites hold the record for the most farts for animals. For such a tiny little creature too! They must have smelled like roses! I’m sure mine does. Bwahaaaaaaahaaaaaa 😅😅😅
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That’s exactly what I got out of my reasearch on farts. Termites fart the most. I wonder who was curious enough to study termite farts?
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Or crazy enough to do that and I guess the question really is, why the curiosity to study termite farts! At least the outcome is enlightening!
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Have they had a farting contest, for the loudest or the longest (my grandmother holds the record for that one)?
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No contests yet. They’re all funny. Short. Long. Quiet. Loud. Stinky…
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Termite farts — somebody needed a thesis! “Dad so fly.” That’s gonna stick with me for a long time. Funny, Eric.
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When i looked up “fly”i got a lot of hits on fly fishing. I would love to lnow the story behind discovering termite farts!
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