P is for…

As parents of 2 boys, as were my parents before me, P can be for two things. Both of which refer to bathroom duties. The toilet. I think that’s my least favorite chore, even if it does take the least amount of time to clean. I’d rather do laundry all weekend than clean the toilet. Much to my dismay, life with boys requires the toilet to be cleaned on a daily basis.

Pee.

I’m considering registering them both for the fire department. The way they spray, no blaze couldn’t be stopped. And no matter how many times they get fussed at to aim IN the toilet not ON the toilet they just can’t hit the mark. I’ve seen drunks make less of a mess. Urine is on toilet seat, under the seat, behind the seat, around the base of the toilet, on the floor. What are they doing in there? Zumba?

Before we sit on the throne we have to give it wipe or else we come back up with a wet arse. It’s like the Game of Thrones, except no one dies a horrific death. They just get pee on them. Perhaps if I put a target on the bottom of the toilet they’ll make less of a mess. Give them something to aim at while they’re dancing in there.

I suppose DW has it one worse than I do. Except I never miss.

P is also for poop. That shit is gross (except mine. Mine smells like roses). Cleaning it is grosser than gross. Fortunately, they have yet to miss the target with number two. But they do forget to flush. Do you know how excited I get when I go to drain the main vain only find the toilet full of toilet paper and Mr. Hanky? C’mon guys. Flush and wash your hands. It should be routine now. You’ve been trained for 8 years now.

It must be easier with girls. Girls don’t have toilet trouble, do they? Or is it a different kind of trouble?