I Was Gonna Write…

It’s the best I can do tonight. I’ll be back tomorrow with the boys answering some questions… If you have a question that might provoke a funny answer, leave it down in the comments and I’ll include it!

In the meantime, you can check out Facebook, Instagram (to see me in a pink bear hat), and Twitter.


The Conversation to Delay Bedtime…

The lights were off. Star frog was casting his glow across the ceiling. A certain 5 year old was nestled under the covers, his little head on the pillow all ready for a good night’s sleep. Then this happened…

Bang: In a long long long hundred and 500 million days Laurie (the bus driver) was trying to say “Who’s this hat?” but the radio was coming on and on and on. He couldn’t even say it so he didn’t say. He just kept the hat.
Me: Ohhh… Was it his hat?
Bang: No. He wears all his hats. But only his light brown. It could be just dark brown. I don’t care. And I really really love Laurie and the bus. 
Me: Why?
Bang: I don’t know. Do you know why I love the bus?
Me: Why?
Bang: Do you know why I love Laurie?
Me: Why?
Bang: He drives so fast and I love going fast. And I like his hat, too. 
Me: Ahh
Bang: Guess why I love the bus
Me: uhh
Bang: Because last time I was little I couldn’t even see out the window. The windows were high high up and I couldn’t see out the window so I was looking at these black thingys and now I can see out the window a little bit. Why do we get new busses every day?
Me: Just depends on which one Laurie is driving.
Bang: Are some broken?
Me: Sometimes.
Bang: And why do bus drivers say you can sit in the back?
Me: Just letting you know you can go to the back. You don’t have to sit in the front.
Bang: No because last time the bus driver girl (a substitute driver) she said the little boy can go in the back. He did. *YAWN* Is there anything with police officers and trains? Do trains speed?
Me: Sometimes, but they don’t get in trouble for it unless they crash.
Bang: What happens if they crash?
Me: It makes a great big mess and it costs a lot of money to clean it up. Then the train driver gets in trouble for going too fast and he doesn’t get to drive trains any more.
Bang: What happens if you uhh….. I know how the builders can get in trouble. 
Me: How?
Bang: They build the wrong tunnel and on the edge of the tunnel they build a wall instead of a tunnel. Then they would go to jail. 
Me: Mm hmm.
Bang: I know how else.
Me: How?
Bang: When someone is on the track, the trains usually stop but they never stop. Is that how they could get in trouble?
Bang: And how else? If someone is on top of the train?
Me: Mm hmm. Then the person on top gets  in trouble.
Bang: Well then, uhh… actually. Are you allowed going backwards in trains?
Me: Yeah.
Bang: Well what if they have only one engine? Err How else can they get in trouble?
Me: By not stopping at red lights.
Bang:There’s no caution lights. 
Me: Sometimes they have to stop because there’s a train coming from the other way and it needs to switch tracks. If they don’t stop in the right place the trains will run into each other if they don’t switch tracks in time.
Bang: Oh yeah! Just like Thomas!
Me: Mm hmm.
Bang: They have red lights and green lights. But do they have caution lights? 
Me: No, just red and green.
Bang: What happens if they’re too big?
Me: Then they can’t pull their cars and they’re stuck.
Bang: No, if they’re too big and they knock down the caution light. 
Me: Oh. The caution light doesn’t go over the tracks. It’s beside the track.
Bang: What happens if they hoot? If it gets jammed. They jam it with something?
Me: (I missunderstand) Then the sign breaks and they have to fix it.
Bang: What sign breaks?
Me: The caution sign.
Bang: No. Like the hooter. When you jam the….
Me: Ohhh. The hooter. The hoo hoo.
Bang: Yeah. When you pull that and jam it with a tack, is that how you get in trouble?
Me: Yep. That’ll get you in trouble. You need your hoo hoos to warn cars that you’re coming. When there’s a road across the tracks?
Bang: Yeah, I know that. Just like running. (I go running pushing him in a jogging stroller to where train tracks cross the road)
Me: Yeah. And they have to blow the horn before they cross the road.
Bang: Well then it’d be honking all day if you jammed it. 
Me: Mm hmm.
Bang: What happens if you put something down the hoo hoo?
Me: Uhhh… It’ll go down into a big tank of water because that’s where it makes steam by boiling water.
Bang: Well how does oil make steam?
Me: It doesn’t.
Bang: Well then what makes steam?
Me: Water. When it gets hot it boils and makes steam.
Bang:  Just like potatoes?
Me: Yeah!
Bang: And broccoli?
Me: Mm hmm
Bang: What happens if they put the biggest rock like it can fit down the hoo hoo but not into the tank?
Me: Then the steam can’t get out and all the pressure builds up inside the tank and it explodes.
Bang: Oh my God! What happens if you let the train go and there’s no one inside?
Me:  Then it’ll go too fast and it’ll crash.
Bang: No. Not like just too fast….Is there buttons in trains?
Me: Yeah.
Bang: Why do trains talk?
Me: Just the Thomas trains talk.
Bang: Why?
Me: Because it’s a cartoon.
Bang: Why do our trains talk?
Me: What do they say?
Bang: Hello Gordon!
Me: Okay. Time to roll over and go to sleep.
Bang: How else can they get in trouble?
Me: I’ll answer all your questions in the morning.
Bang: I know that cars can speed.
Me: Mm hmm
Bang: *spells something in a whisper then growls to clear his throat*

One minute and 7 seconds of silence later…

Bang: I need to pee…

This was an 11 minute conversation. I recorded it on my cell phone so I was able to transcribe it verbatim. This is a nightly occurrence. After writing it all out I have discovered something interesting. You can see he’s full of life in the beginning. Animated. Long sentences. More complicated questions. Then towards the end his sentence start getting shorter and his questions aren’t as in depth. You see sleep taking over.

He was asleep just minutes after his pee break.




Bang woke at 5:30 in the morning.

0530. O’Dark 30. Butt crack of dawn. Actually, it was an hour before the dawn cracked.

Too frickin’ early if you ask me.

So I laid with him. He was content to lay and snuggle and hug my arm and pretend to fall asleep.

Then we heard Crash get up. 5:35. He went to the bathroom. I listened to see if he was going to try to sneak downstairs or go back to bed.

He tried to go down. “I don’t think so, chach. It’s only 5:35, go back to bed.” He did, but not willingly. There was some foot stomping. He didn’t slam his door, but he shut it pretty hard.

Sleep is for the dead. We’re not dead. More like zombies.

That’s the backstory.

This evening he was so tired he was nearly inconsolable. Nothing was right. No cup of milk in the fridge? Melt down. Filled the wrong cup? Melt down. Toy didn’t cooperate? Melt down. Loom band bracelet didn’t work? Melt down? Can’t find a train track piece? Melt down. This was at 5:00. Too early to send him to bed. I knew the melt downs were only because he was tired so I didn’t lose any patience. I just gave him what was available and once the melt down subsided he gave in and would accept what was offered.

After supper I did the dishes and got that mess out of the way. Then we headed to the basement to play. I played Lego (piecing together all the Lego people). Bang continued his melt down while building a train track for Thomas the Tank Engine. I didn’t laugh, but when he had a melt down because of a train track piece, it was kind of funny. He wanted to build a train track, so he dumped the whole bucket of track so he could find the right pieces. He needed a turn piece but couldn’t find it. Melt down. Then found it. Then he needed some straight pieces. Couldn’t find the exact one. Melt down. Oh here it is. This went on for 20 minutes. I was nearby, but left him alone. After 20 minutes of happy, melt down, happy, melt down he completed his track.


His finished product

It’s not the fanciest track in the world by any stretch of the imagination. But this track is perfect. It has zero dead ends. It has zero places where his train can’t turn around. He can drive his train forever. It loops back on itself.

By this point it was 6 pm and after waking at 5:30 am I was ready to start getting him ready for a slightly early bedtime. However, I couldn’t not let him play with his track he’d spent too many melt downs creating.

Please, dear God, let our kids sleep later than 5:30.

And no. I don’t mean 5:35, either.

If they are awake at that hour, guess what we’re doing?

Cleaning.  That’ll teach ’em to stay in bed longer.

*Note – Bang woke at 4:50, but I convinced him to go back to sleep. He slept until 6:40. Crash woke at 5:19 but I made him go back to bed and try to sleep. He got out of bed at 5:45 but I couldn’t drag myself out to go fight with him to clean. He wins this morning.