A Birds and Bees Lesson from Minecraft

Crash is 8 years old. He, therefore, has a slight obsession with everything Minecraft. That 80’s pixilated video game in which you can mine for iron, gold, and diamonds (among other things). That game of blocks in which you can build anything so long as it’s made of cubes. His time on it is extremely limited, but that doesn’t stop him from knowing more about it than Steven Hawking knows about black holes.

Naturally, my curiosity lead me to get the game for myself (We have the PE edition for our tablets) to see what all the hype was about. There is something addictive about it. Perhaps that it’s endless? Perhaps its laced with heroin?

Anyway, we’ve discovered farming. You can plant seeds and grow wheat, carrots and potatoes. But if you build a fenced in enclosure and lead some animals – pigs, cows, sheep, chickens inside, you have created an animal farm. You can milk the cows if you make a bucket. You can collect eggs from the chickens. You can sheer sheep for their wool to make carpet. Of course, you could kill your animals to get beef, chicken breasts, or pork chops. But I don’t advise killing them until you’ve… uh, made them kiss.

Enough of the boring details. Your penned up animals can make babies. If you’re looking for a romantic (or raunchy) love scene you’ll have to look elsewhere. The only thing you’ll see here is some kissing (no tongue). Crash loves to tell us “My chickens kissed and made a baby.” Or “I fed my sheep and that made them kiss and they had a baby.” Yep, that’s exactly how it’s done, bud. You eat, you kiss, and then poof a baby materializes. Let this be a lesson to you. Don’t kiss anyone.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed that he doesn’t get too curious about real life babies. For that there’s always Google, YouTube and his mom!