Go Ask Your Father: Ads, Lava, and Electrocution


Ahhh… The kids are in bed. The 30 28 banana chocolate chip muffins are finished baking. The only thing that would make this better is if it were Friday night right now. (Hint – this is getting written Thursday night) When you read this it will be Friday. YAY!

February 5th. It’s Nanny Moe’s birthday! (DW’s mom) I asked the kids “How old is Nanny Moe going to be on her birthday?” Crash’s response? “40 something?”

No wonder he’s Nanny’s favorite! (Just kidding. I’m her favorite)

Since mom just turned 39 30 something, that means Nanny was less than 10 when mom was born. Neat trick, kiddo. She’s actually 60 something. And upon her request, we’re cooking her some fish, smashed potatoes, and broccoli. And a cake on fire!

1) Why does he have letters on his truck?

We in the drive-thu picking up our most unhealthiest, but so tasty, supper and a local contractor was in front of us. He has his name and phone in great big letters and numbers on his truck. (He does awesome work, by the way, if you ever need a contractor) Bang knows this truck and can spot it three and three quarter miles away. Anyway, the reason he has his name and phone number on his truck is obvious. Should we need igloo renovations done (which we do) we can call him up to come fix it.

2) What happens when you pour water on lava?

If this were Minecraft, you would make obsidian. If this were Game of Thrones it would make dragon glass to kill the White Walkers. However, this is fortunately neither. My first guess is that it immediately turns to steam and evaporates. Since lava is between 1,300 and 2,200 degrees and water boils at a mere 212F. Thanks to YouTube there are plenty of lava videos. The simplest one, someone pours the water out their plastic water bottle on lave. Guess what? It steams away immediately. Someone else threw what looks like a 10-20 gallon jug of water into a pool of lava. The lava got pretty pissed off when that happened. However, the opposite of this happens all day every day. Lava gets poured into water. This is how the sea floor was and still is, being created. Lava escaped through vents in the sea floor then cool immediately in near freezing water.

3) Why can he touch those wires?

He can touch those electrical wires because he is either Zeus or Thor. Or there is no electricity flowing through the wires. Plus, that linesman has on really thick rubber gloves. Rubber is an insulator, therefore electricity can’t flow through it. If he wore copper gloves, he’d be burnt toast. Since he is touching the ground electricity can flow and shock him if he’s not careful. Unlike birds who only touch one wire and not the ground. Since birds don’t complete a circuit no electricity flows and they don’t get shocked. Kind of like running through the rooms of your house. If a door gets shut there’s no more running.

4) What does electrocute feel like?

How does it feel to be electrocuted? I considered giving him a first hand lesson. “Here. Put this butter knife into that outlet on the wall.” (which might be a myth I’m not willing to test. You possibly might need to put a knife into BOTH sides to complete the circuit and get shocked) I didn’t give him this idea though.  Instead I just told him it’s kind of like being burned. So naturally, the next question is…

5) How hot?

Really hot. I could tell him 100 degrees. I could tell him 10,000 degrees. They’ll mean the same to him. So I opted for 10,000 to help persuade him to NOT want to be electrocuted. Speaking of electrocution, my dad knows what my mom would look like if she got electrocuted. She was in the bathroom blow drying her hair. My dad sneaks in behind her and starts banging on a metal pot with a wooden spoon. To this day he tell us “I’ve never seen anyone get the electric chair, but I know what they’d look like.” I’m surprised he survived to retell this story so many times!