The Funny Side of Parenting

Laughter is the best medicine. If you can’t laugh at yourself who can you laugh at? Sometimes you laugh at yourself. Sometimes your partner provides a giggle. However, most often it’s our offspring who give us the largest dose of hilarity. Perhaps it’s during the regular “bedatorial” when tell about their teacher being out for two weeks because she had to get her “goldfish” removed. (It was really her gall bladder). Perhaps it’s something hollered in a public area, like “his pee pee looks like yours!” (we were at a Body Worlds exhibit). Or perhaps they just did something foolish, like drained the waterbed in the bedroom. Either way, a good dose of laughter is dished out and stories about it will be told for years. Facebook and Twitter are full of such stories. Here are just a few that made my belly jiggle like a bowl full Jell-O.









R and S are for Go Ask Your Father…

There’s a twofer going on tonight. However, it’s only one post.

is for research. I can answer the boys questions without Google. What I can’t do is answer them thoroughly. If you can’t explain it simply enough for a 6 year old to understand you don’t understand it well enough. So I turn to Google to refine and finish my explanations. I know that’s not official research, but it’s good enough for now. As long as I use trustworthy sites.

Since I love their questions, I pray they continue to ask questions their entire life. Learning is essential and questions are proof they are trying. S is for students. Students of education. Students of life. Students for life.


1. What is cholesterol?

I had to admit defeat on this one. All I could them them is that it’s stuff in our blood and there two kinds, a good kind and a bad kind. Now I know the bad kind is LDL – low density lipoprotein. It’s sticky and is the stuff that clings to artery walls, reducing blood flow to the heart, and causes heart attacks. The only thing that can stop a bad cholesterol with a gun is a good cholesterol with gun. HDL – high density lipoprotein strolls the blood stream looking for LDLs. Once it finds it, it latches on and delivers the baddie to the liver (the judge who sentences the baddie to jail). The liver then filters it as a waste product and removes it from your body all together.

2. What is it when shadows combine without touching?

That’s kind of a confusing question, isn’t it? How can two things combine without touching? That’s like putting your clothes in the washing machine and they never get wet. You can do this experiment and see it for yourself. Just hold your hands up to a wall to cast two shadows. Bring your hands together slowly and the two shadows will touch just before your hands do. The shadows will be connected yet your hands are not. Thanks to Vsauce on YouTube, we know this is called The Shadow Blister Effect. I highly recommend the video. It has to do with the anatomy of a shadow. The umbra is the part of the shadow where the light is fully blocked. The prenumbra is a partial blocking (like twilight, the sun has set, but it’s still a bit light). When the two prenumbras overlap it creates a significantly greater darkness which we perceive as the combination of shadows even though the two objects aren’t touching.

3. Why do we get blisters?

You got a blister because you wore your rainboots with no socks. Put socks on before it gets worse. There are several causes of blisters. Heat, friction, and chemicals are just three of the main culprits. A blister is our skin’s way of defending itself. A layer of liquid forms between the top layers of skin to protect the tissue below it. It is best to keep the blister as long as you can. But if you’re like me and love bubble wrap, it’ll be too tempting to pop your skin bubble. That bubble is allowing the tissue to heal without the risk of infection. So if you do pop your bubble, clean it and wrap it up.

4. Can I get Facebook?

Hold on… I’ll go ask Zuckerburg. Sorry. He said awe hell no. Sure, it’s a great tool to keep in touch with family and friends. It’s also a great tool to kill some time, whether it be a few minutes or a few days. It’s also a great place to get #FakeNews and other things unimportant to our daily lives. Though, if he did get the FB he would just have a few family members on so it would probably be safe until he went exploring for more. So, no. The 10 year old will not be on Facebook for a while, yet.


Figuring The Risk

Hey there Facebook peeps. This is the last post you’ll see on my wall. From now on all blog posts will go to To all my WordPress peeps, you’ll still find me in the same ole place on WordPress. However, if you’d like to meet on Facebook, feel free to check out that link. 

Taking this step to create a Facebook companion site for my blog got me thinking. Mostly about risks. It got me thinking about all that happens when a risk presents itself. From calculations carefully made or not, to self doubt, to constantly questioning ourselves why… There is no shortage of wondering what we’re doing before a risk is accepted. 

And rightly so.

It’s too risky to take a risk without first giving it thought. My risk was minimal. It’s just Facebook. I paid no money. It only required a few minutes of my time. I seriously doubt it will change my life for better or worse. If no one likes it, I can make it go away. It’ll clear up my personal page to use for personal posts rather than posts I post to The World. 

My risk could involve money. I could pay for Facebook to “boost” my posts so it gets viewed by more people. However, that risk factor makes no cents (get it?) because my blog is free. Driving more traffic to it would triple what I’m making from it now. Triple nothing is still nothing. The financial risk for such an endeavor is too great. I would effectively spend more than I would bring in. My R.O.I. (Return On Investment) would be non-existent. If my blog were my livelihood and actually made money, I could consider it more deeply.

What kept me from undertaking this risk sooner was self doubt. 

What if nobody likes me?
What if it’s a waste of time?
What if it doesn’t work?
What will people think of me? 

Of these, the only one I really took to heart was the third one: What if it doesn’t work? I knew a few people would like me (the page, not me specifically). Perhaps not hundred or thousands, but someone would like the page. A waste of time? I’ll be okay if all I lost was the half hour it took to set it up. What will people think of me? I laughed that one off. Besides family and close friends, I’ve never really cared what others thought of me. What others think of me is none of my business. If you saw the clothes I wore in middle and high school, it would be as clear as the neon I wore. 

I think self doubt is always a big factor in the risks we take. Perhaps we avoid the risk to protect ourselves or to protect others. Perhaps we avoid the risk to avoid feeling that uncomfortable feeling that comes with the unknown. That doubt, that nagging feeling that keeps questioning, Is this the right thing? impedes our progress forward. That doubt can be a positive, though. It does make us stop and think and calculate our risk. We just need to be careful after we stop to think that we don’t forget to get moving again.

Isn’t that so true? Whether it’s business, parenting, or life…

How to Find Me

Instead of playing Where’s Waldo, we’ll play Where’s Woody (a nickname of mine). I’m feeling brave and am hoping to reach more people so I’ve gone ahead and created a companion Facebook site. You can find it at .


Like it because it’s likeable. Follow it because it’ll be entertaining. Share it because you want to entertain your friends. Or not.It’ll be your loss….

I’ve discovered I’m only getting an average of 70 views a month from Facebook. That works out to 2.333 views per day. My goal is to clear my personal FB site of blog posts and post them to the new page.

Sunday Share coming tomorrow!

p.s. You can also find me on twitter!

O is for… 

 is for Orioles! This has zip, zero, zilch to do with parenting except that I did allow Bang to stay up and watch a game last Friday. It was an 8 pm start time and his big brother was having a sleepover at Nanny’s. Bang didn’t want to go home and go to bed so I offered to let him stay up to watch some of the Orioles game. They were playing the Blue Jays, his favorite team. We are in Blue Jay territory, so I allow it. We have a friendly rivalry. DW went to visit a friend so Bang and I skipped off to the store to pick up a bag of Ruffles then we parked ourselves on the couch and munched our way through 7 innings of baseball. He learned what all the numbers meant – the score, the count, the outs, and the innings. Mom was surprised when she got home at 9:30 to find him still wide awake. By 10, his Blue Jays were losing 5-3 and he lost interest in the game so up to bed he went. I was impressed that he was so interested in the game for that long.

is for obsession. My two obsessions are running and baseball (and perhaps this blog) (Okay. Definitely this blog). Though, I’ve been watching more baseball than I have been running. But I’m slowly getting back into it. I’ve got a new pair of shoes to help me do just that. I have a drawer full of running shirts. Long sleeved. Short sleeved. Tank tops, even. I only have a few pairs of shorts and some pants for running. I use Nike+ on my phone to track my runs. My Orioles memorabilia is limited to a couple hats, a lanyard, and few shirts. The Eddie Murray jersey being my favorite. I can’t wait to make it back to Camden Yards again.

Crash’s obsession, like so many other 9 year olds, is with Minecraft. Some may argue that it’s a waste of time. Others argue that it’s a tool for creativity through it’s endless way to build. Or a tool for science with its redstone circuits. It’s a double edged sword. It can be obsessive. If we didn’t set a time limit he would do nothing else. I can see it’s obsessive nature when his time is up. I hear either, “1 minute” which he tries to drag out to 20 more minutes. Or I hear, “UGH!”. It’s to the point now that if he doesn’t turn it off within a couple minutes of his time ending he loses it for a week. This is one of those weeks. We’ve allowed him to earn it back each day by cleaning. I also see how much he loves to play it and after a long day of school, it’s a great way to wind down. Plus I’ve seen how much he loves building and exploring.

Bang’s obsession is a bit more subtle. He enjoys playing Minecraft with his brother, but I wouldn’t call it an obsession. He loves playing Mario Kart on the Wii, but again, it’s not something he’s constantly thinking about playing. He loves junk food, chocolate especially. But who doesn’t? He’s just taking after his parents. I think the closest thing to obsession he has is with Candy Crush. Yes, that cell phone game. What’s more though, is that he’s good at it! Not only does he beat levels that we’ve been stuck on for days, he also gets us top rankings in high scores among our friends. Whether he plays on my phone or his mother’s, he loves it.

DW’s obsession might be me. She loves me to no end and everything she does she does for me. Stop laughing, it’s not a joke. Okay. Yes, it is. I would venture a guess and say that Facebook might be DW’s obsession. She loves coming home from work and just relaxing on the big, comfy couch and catching up with friends via Facebook. It’s also her way of sharing everything from what we’re up doing to what’s going on in town our local friends are interested in. Her other obsession is gardening. Her rose bushes make the neighbors jealous. Her clematis is climbing up the downspout and the porch is always in full color with the flower she picks for the planters.

Our obsession are the little things that make us happy. They’re the things that distract us from the endless responsibilites of life. It’s our time out. I just have to remember to put down the blog, turn off the Orioles game, and go make supper before the kids start eating each other.

What’s your obsession? If it’s Twitter you’ll find me at Stomperdad.

Dear Facebook

FB iconDear Facebook friends,

All y’all are awesome. I know for the last 11 months it seems like all you’re seeing from my status updates are blog posts. How frickin’ boring, right? All though, I wonder how many see yet another post from me and think “He’s hogging my news feed with all his posts” and scroll right by it. I know this isn’t true for all of you. I have received many comments in conversation about what I write. So, I know some of you are reading this stuff. Thank you! I certainly do appreciate it. Especially, when those comments come from unexpected sources.

You’re probably wondering why I’ve taken to blogging. I can’t exactly answer that other than by telling you I’m not exactly sure either. I enjoy writing, obviously. I enjoy getting an idea to write about then finding out where it takes me. Kind of like running. I start running and I see what happens*. Where will my run take me and what will happen along the way? Much like a day in the life with kids, anything is possible.

*Speaking of running, I need to get my lazy ass back out there. This is the best season for it!

Anyway, deep down, I’d like to one day become a published author of either children’s books or perhaps young adult novels. Perhaps even old adult novels. I’m still testing the waters. I don’t really have any idea yet. Right now though, I’m just trying to survive my kids. But I thought I’d work on my writing through blogging for two reasons.

Reason A is that by writing every day, theoretically it should improve. Much like running consistently should make me a better runner. Of course, I could become a better runner faster by running intervals (alternating fast/slow paces), by making sure I run up and down lots of hills and by eating properly. The equivalent to this in the world of writing would be to challenge myself to write frequently, write on various topics, to various audiences. While the majority of my writing is about the perpetual motions of Crash and Bang, I do write some short stories and write about different aspects of life.

Reason B also has to do with becoming published. I’m building a following. Between Facebook, Twitter, and WordPress, I have a total of 659 followers. With a little work, a little luck, and whole bunch of words, I can build a readership of people who will want to read the book(s) I write.

Did I say two reasons? What you heard is not what I meant. I meant three. Reason C is that it has become my way of sharing our stories. Whether they are full of comedy or frustration, I like to share. Perhaps someone else will think, “Damn, it could be a whole lot worse.” Or “Glad I’m not the only one!” While mom and dad are probably thinking “Glad to see he’s got children just like himself!” (The “Mom Curse” anyone? That’ll be for another post.)wp

Anyway, as for my WP friends reading this, don’t worry about finding me on Facebook. I’m not there much and I won’t “friend” you unless I know you in real life. I know you on WP and WP is my new FB, anyway.