P is for…

PWe’ve rounded the horn and gotten through Elemenopee. Well, we’ll be through P after today. So, what is P for?

I thought P was for pee. But there’s only so much one can write about pee. Once I’ve stated the obvious, what more is there to say? The obvious? The obvious is 3 and 7 year olds have horrible aim in the bathroom. But put them in front of a tree and they won’t miss a drop.

No. P won’t be for pee. It won’t be for poop either. While farts are funny. Poop, not so much. We all pee and poop. No need to discuss it here. P won’t be for purple which is Bang’s favorite color. He now has (and loves) his purple Barbie sunglasses and new purple “Crocs”. They’re actually Dolphins, but look like Crocs, the shoe. P could be for Piper, our quaker parrot. She’s currently out in her cage whistling. P isn’t for Penguin. Or at least not yet. He’ll make an appearance next Wednesday. Lastly, P isn’t for parenting. Chance are, you didn’t come here to read about my parenting technique. Parenting advice shouldn’t be given¬†unsolicited.

Nah. Today P will be for the greatest source of inspiration and motivation; the last minute. P is for procrastination. I know I’m guilty of it. I also know I’m not the only one and that’s how I justify it. It’s mostly why I’m writing these posts day to day even though the whole month has been scheduled. However, I didn’t realize it would be genetic. As the father of my kids, I’m fully responsible for passing on the unpleasant genes. I wonder where in the DNA sequence the procrastination gene is? Crash is excellent at putting things off. All though, I think he’s trying to avoid, not put off bedtime. He would stay up all night if we let him. Actually, he nearly did one New Years Eve. It was 1 am and he was still going strong! Unfortunately, he’s early to rise no matter what time he goes to bed. 6 am early.

Okay. Time for the other P word. Play. Bang is about to bounce off the walls. Gotta burn off some energy now!

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Home Alone (sort of) (for a little while)

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RacetrackFinally! Everyone is nearly back to good heath. Crash and Bang were down with fevers the past 7-10 days. Crash missed 5 days of school, effectively gaining him an extra week of Christmas vacation. So now it’s just me and Bang at home during the day. Today we played racetrack (see photo at left). We modified the track a little later so Bang could race some marbles down it instead. We also played trucks. We played A LOT of trucks. Cement trucks. Dump trucks. Garbage trucks. An Excavator. His favorite is the garbage truck. No one touches the garbage truck and no gets hurt. I wish Crash would learn this lesson. Crash likes to play with said garbage truck when Bang isn’t looking. Then Bang looks and all hell breaks loose. Crash tries to pull the “But I had it first” routine. So I make Bang ask for it nicely. Once this occurs Crash has to return the truck to its owner, albeit reluctantly.

Anyway, we delivered Crash to the bus stop and saw him off then played in the snow. More specifically, we played on the big ice patch in the backyard. Slipping and sliding and spinning. We did it again after Crash got home from school. The weather had warmed to +2 Celsius and it was raining a bit so the snow was perfect for snowballs. Many got thrown. Bang knocked on the door. Mom opened the door to see what it was that he wanted and she found herself being pelted by his snowball. His laughter was contagious. We’re getting more snow tonight and I can’t wait.

KnufflebunnyThe rest of the day was pretty boring… Took Crash and Bang with me to get a new headlight and wipers for the car and stopped by the library to exchange some books. We found one of our favorites… Knuffle Bunny by Mo Willems. It was one of the first books Crash learned to read. If you haven’t read it, I highly suggest it. I guarantee you’ll want to read Knuffle Bunny, Too and Knuffle Bunny Free. Crash and Bang are now silently asleep and I’m headed there myself… night night folks.

What the Teachers Didn’t Teach

Dear School,

I want to thank you so much for teaching my son. He is in his third year of school and the amount he has learned is astonishing. As a teacher, I know kids are like sponges and absorb knowledge like their shirts absorb ketchup. He’s learned to read chapter books. He can add and subtract and is even starting to multiply! He can skip count clear past a hundred. He understands the seasons, senses, space, and so much more that doesn’t start with “S” like compassion, condensation, and compasses.

However, not everything he has learned is listed in the curriculum guide.

Zombies are not in your curriculum, but he walks around the house with limp hands dangling from arms stuck out in front of him, moaning .

Where does Pokemon fit into the curriculum? I can’t find it anywhere in the syllabus. Yet, he is almost obsessed with it. He’s brought home some cards. Were they from the cumulative activity to wrap up their unit on Pokemon? I’m not thinking so.

And ninja training? Which outcome taught him to be a level 3, 8, 15, 20? He’s not even sure what level ninja he is but apparently someone is teaching him to be a ninja and his ninja level is not that of who is teaching him. So he runs around, sneaks around, hides in the yard, and climbs the tree. Of course, I join him because I’m a level 105 ninja (or so I’ve told him).

Lastly, thank you for introducing him to Minecraft. It’s the candy crush, flappy bird, crack for kids game that so far I’ve been able to keep at bay. Though, I’m not sure for how much longer.

Thank you, school, for going above and beyond and teaching him so much more than is required by the core curriculum standard outcome goals.

Sincerely,
A dad trying to be “cool”


(Has your little one learned something not quite educational from school?)