The 6 Christmas Gifts We All Crave and My Wife Is Getting

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The Twelve Days of Christmas are upon us… or, at least, there just 12 sleeps left until the big morning. I won’t be getting DW a partridge in a pear tree. Nor will she get 12 lords-a-leaping. She has me and I do enough leaping for one family. Nor will she get fiiiiiiiiive gooooolden riiiiings (you just sang it, didn’t you?) I’m not made of that kind of money or bitcoin. We could use 10 maids-a-milking, though. We go through a lot of milk and at $6.50 a gallon (3.785 liters) it gets expensive. I searched Amazon, but the best I could find to a milking maid was this thing for $165.99. There’s no cow or milking happening here. If I got this 17″ monstrosity for her, I know exactly where she’d shove it… Right up my pasture.

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This year I’m going with practical gifts. Gifts that can be used over and over. The gifts that keep on giving.

1. Like this beautiful screen viewer for when you need it a bit darker to see that screen. When kids see this on Mom they’ll know not to bother her, she’s busy crushing her candy. I bet it’s good for making it dark enough to take a nap, too. Thirdly, you can’t see all the weird looks this thing will attract. It’s going to be all the rage next year! I don’t recommend wearing while driving.

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2. Who doesn’t like music? Who doesn’t like warm feet? This gift has them both covered. I figure four pair walking around the house with four different songs playing would be spectacular! We’ll get our 10,000 steps a day easy! I really dig the bonus head strap so you wear them like headphones. That’ll smell pleasant in the summertime.

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3. This next doozy has all kinds of useful uses. It can do anything from kill small game should you become lost in the hunger games to feeding your children and even correcting their heathen-like behaviour. I’m guessing it works on husbands just as well, so I’ll be sure to stay out of range…

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4. *No explanation needed…

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5. Have you ever cut up fruit and veggies and thought… hmmm, I wonder how fresh this is? All the stuff that gets lost in the fridge and has been in there since God was a baby. This really cool, super high tech knife will tell you just how fresh or how rotten your food is. It’ll be up to you whether you eat it or not.

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6. Last but not least is my favorite gift on this list, I love snuggling in the winter time by a lit Christmas tree with a glass #4 in one hand and DW’s hand in my other. I can’t wait to see her expression when she opens this one! It’s like a mommy/daddy time out shirt. Wherever we go, we go together. Whatever we do, we do together. And a fart could kill us both.

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Are there any exotic and fun gifts you plan to get your significant other? Let me know below. Also, don’t forget to come find and follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook!

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Make It A Great Day

Sometimes posts land in your lap. They come to you as if you were sitting in a taxi on Highway in Sao Paulo with guy who just jumped out because he was about to pee his pants. 

Sometimes they quietly tap you on the shoulder and quietly whisper, “Don’t get bitter, get better“. 

That sparked a memory. 

Once upon a time I taught 4th grade. The school I taught in televised their daily announcements every morning. Thanks to our vice principal, they always ended with,

Make it a great day. Or not. The choice is yours.

In our lives, the run of the mill, ordinary day, this holds true. Imagine if every little thing that went wrong in our day, ruined us for the rest of it. 

Crash often gets upset or angry over the littlest things and I ask him, “Did getting angry solve the problem? No? Then there was no need for it.” Granted, there are times when getting angry is necessary, when it will solve your problem. But the other 99% of the time, calm patience wins over. 

Is it a problem or is it a challenge? Problems create stress. They ruffle our feathers. They cause us to lose our patience. We twist more, we push more, we hammer harder. 

If we find our Zen we find that sometimes a whisper is louder than a shout. Sometimes gentleness is stronger. Sometimes the anger just isn’t worth it. If you make your problems into challenges to be solved, you can rise above them. You can solve them with ease and understand that it’s not the way you planned it, but it still works. The world won’t end because things didn’t go exactly as you envisioned they would.

Rise to the challenge. Make the change you need to make to solve your problem and move on. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about it. Flight just got canceled? They don’t give two nickles how angry you are about it, they’re not going to uncancel it. Kids just dumped cheerios all over the backseat? Anger won’t clean up the mess. Employ the patience when it’s Kool-Aid or cheesie dust. 

If you read yesterday’s nonsense post, you know I had pretty much nothing to write about it so I wrote nonsense. I could be bitter about it. Why did I post nonsense when I could have posted nothing and just written today? Because sometime our practice, our training requires us to be subpar. We learn more from our failures than our success. Successes are much sweeter, though. Reflect on the failures to make your best better. 

Problems beget problems. However, challenges create champions. Be a champion. Or not. The choice is yours.