The Only Cookie You Need to Make – Vanishing Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies


Remember our Random Act of Kindness the other day? The one where we delivered cookies to the RCMP station and the paramedic base? We still need to get some to the firemen. Anway, we found out that the cookies didn’t last long. Some, who came in some time after our delivery, said the crumbs were delicious. So I thought I’d share my recipe with you. They’re the cookies that DW always requests I make when I say I’m going to make cookies.


1) Preheat your oven.

2) Gather these items:

– shortening
– brown sugar
– white sugar
– 2 eggs
– Oats
– margarine/butter
– vanilla
– baking soda
– Chocolate chips

3) Add 1/2 cup margarine, 1/2 cup shortening, 1 cup of brown sugar, and a 1/2 cup of white sugar to a mixing bowl and beat the hell out of it until it’s creamy.

4) Add 1 teaspoon of vanilla and 2 eggs (any color, any size. don’t discriminate) and continue to whip it into submission.

5) In a separate bowl add 1 and 1/2 cups of flour, 1 teaspoon of baking soda, and a pinch or two of salt and stir the shit out of it.

6) In small parts add it to the egg and sugar mixture. Watch the flour powder fly! (that’s my favorite part)

7) Turn the mixer off for this next part. It’s best to do it with a spatula. Add in 3 cups of oats 1 cup at a time.

8) After the oats are well mixed add in 2 cups of chocolate chips and get those mixed in, too.

9) Taste test. But be careful! Only 1 taste is necessary. I’ve been know to test too much and before I know it the bowl is empty and no cookies are made.

10) Put a dozen spoonfuls on a cookie sheet and bake it for 11 minutes. Allow them to cool on the cookie sheet while the next batch bakes then move them to wire racks to finish cooling.

11) You’ll want to hide some for later because there’s not much better than eating a cookie in secret!



“Loaf”ing Around

Crash’s homework for religion class last week was to bake bread. His teacher had given him a simple recipe for it. There was no school yesterday, except for mom. She had school. Since she was out, I figured this would be the best time to make a mess worthy of three boys.

But first we cleaned. I managed to get Crash to do six chores. Six in ONE DAY!! Bang did five! Naturally, they were hoping our first chore would be to bake bread. Too bad, so sad.

But I’m not here today to tell you about the chores. I want to tell you about making bread. And I’m going to start nearly three years back…


My parents traveled up to Canadaland in June of 2013. Bang would just be turning two. Crash 6. My mom wanted to make some bread with Crash while his baby brother napped. They had a blast.

And the bread was yummy. It didn’t last long. So you can imagine Crash’s excitement when it was time to do this again. Sans Nana, this time.

  • 6 cups flour
  • 4 Tbsp shortening
  • 1 Tbsp salt
  • 1 Tbsp instant yeast
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 2 3/4 cups very warm water

I measured it all out they dumped it all in.


Then it was time to knead. Bang didn’t want to get his fairy fingers all messy so he opted out of the kneading. Crash couldn’t wait to get his hands in there. So, as in the picture on the right with Nana, we doused our handing in vegetable oil and began kneading. We squeezed. We squished. We pinched all the lumps out. We laughed at how messy our hands were.


This mess, of course, ended up on the table where we finished kneading the bread (which is far different than the “kneeing the bread” Bang wanted to do).

Then we let it rise. Since they were allowed on the tablet for a half hour, we let it rise for a half hour. We probably should have waited the full hour. Hindsight.

We separated it into two loaf pans, stuck in the 350F preheated oven and set the timer for another half hour.


After they baked for a half hour, they looked done to us. We removed them from the oven, set them on a wire rack to cool then went to library.

*Sidenote: This has nothing with bread. At the library we got one of our favorite books – “Everybody Poops”.

Anyway, after we walked there and walked home the bread was cool enough to eat. Bang didn’t like. No surprise there. Crash loved it and ate three buttered slices.


Our next objective is try making potato bread… Mmmmmm