Good Cop, Bad Cop (or Pissing Off an 8 Year Old)

I snapped, completely lost it. Dad went Bat shit crazy. It very rarely happens, but it happened 2 nights ago.

Let me set the scene for you…

Playing Legos, Bang (the 4 year old) had the wrecking ball from his Lego crane and was playing with it. Crash decided he wanted so he tried to take it. Bang put up a fight and wouldn’t let him have it. I told Crash that it was Bang’s wrecking ball, Bang had it so he would have to wait his turn. I guess he didn’t like my answer because he tried to push and kick Bang. This earned him a time out on the stairs for a while.

Flash forward an hour to bedtime snack and neither one is being a very good listener. They couldn’t get their own yogurt. Bang didn’t want his because it had “chunks”. Crash shoveled his down and I told him to go ahead upstairs and start getting ready for bed. Instead he went to the living room to play with the previously mentioned wrecking ball. Once I got it from him, he started up the stairs but came back down to get a drink of water. A fight ensued over a chair and they were back to fighting.

I snapped, completely lost it. Dad went Bat shit crazy.

Now both kids were crying. One into his yogurt and the other in his room. He shut himself in his room, changed into pajamas and wrote me this note. I found it in the hallway as he slid it under his door.

001

(Names changed to protect the guilty) We’re still not sure why he included “Bad mom!” She was just washing dishes.

You can see that I wrote back to him (slid it back under his door, of course). Then he wrote back, again. Fortunately, he agreed with my response.

A few minutes later, while I was helping Bang get ready for bed, this note comes sliding out into the hallway.

002

I know what this says. Can you figure it out?

There are only two mistakes in his paragraph. He made a backwards “S” in two different spots. The rest of the “S’s” are right. I attribute this to being left handed. Anyway, I’m was no longer a “bad dad”. I wasn’t even a “good dad”. I was awsome! Not sure why. 10 minutes prior I was raging lunatic.

Which brings me to part two. I had just snapped at them. It wasn’t my greatest parenting technique, but it worked. Now we were upstairs getting ready for bed and DW walks in on me reading a book (The Gruffalo) to Bang. He gets furious, cries, and pushes her back out the door. Huh? I’m the one who snapped and got angry, but it’s her they’re mad at?

Was it how I dealt with them after I snapped? Was it the fact that they’re not used to me being the one who snaps? Was it that they were so caught up with me fuming at them that they assumed their mother was, too? She was an innocent bystander merely washing the dishes when all hell broke loose yet she became a “bad guy”. My only thought is that it was me who went up while DW finished the dishes. It was me who calmed them down and played the “slide notes back and forth under the door to each other” game. Had it been DW, it would been me they stayed angry at. They went to bed and woke up in the morning happy with everyone.


*Crash’s note reads thusly:

Dear Dad you know life is kinda good… But it would be better if the world had literally no electronics… Just books, because I know how much you love books.
love love love love you,
Crash
P.S. Bad Dad
Good Dad
       Awesome Dad!