L is for…

L

When you have two teachers for parents, L can only mean one thing.

Lots and lots and lots of Learning.

Fortunately, the boys are so full of questions there’s more learning happening around here than… than… well, lets just say there’s lots of learning.

1. Why are scabs itchy?

Boys are hard on their bodies. It’s the only one they get so they need to get as much use out of it as they can. Crash fell at school earlier this week. Apparently there was some invisible ice and he slipped and fell on it while playing tag with his friends. Now he has a nice little-ish scab healing on his knee and it’s itchy. Why? Because when the cells covering the wound meet in the middle they start pulling on each other to close the wound. This frat house like tug-o-war causes mechanical stress and activated the itch nerves. Your spinal cord, which in control of your nervous system, sends the signal to scratch that itch. But if we scratch that itch we rip the scab off and we’re right back to where we started when we got the banged up knee in the first place. So now a war rages between our spinal cord wanting scratch and our brain telling us our spinal cord is a liar.

2. Can you die from drinking too much alcohol?

The boys know DW and I enjoy a drink of wine now and then. Sometimes we’ll have friends over for boardgame night and have a few drinks. We always drink responsibly. But, yes, you can die from too much of it. It’s called Alcohol poisoning. Except the 6 year old insisted that that wasn’t the right term for it. He said it was an “itis” (eye-tiss) word. After a minute of thinking he informed us that the correct word was drunkitis. Alcohol poisoning can happen when any substance containing alcohol is consumed intentionally or not. It occurs most frequently in binge drinkers. This is the consumption of 5 serving of alcohol in two hours for men or four for women. Symptoms include…

  • Confusion
  • Vomiting
  • Seizures
  • Slow breathing (less than eight breaths a minute)
  • Irregular breathing (a gap of more than 10 seconds between breaths)
  • Blue-tinged skin or pale skin
  • Low body temperature (hypothermia)
  • Passing out

Please, please, drink responsibly. Another way drinking too much can kill you is if you get behind the wheel and drive. PSA – Don’t drink and drive.

3. Can I go play outside?

YES! YES! YES! GO! GO! GO! We still have snow on the ground. Actually, it snow a bit this morning. This winter is bullshit and needs to go. Put on your boots and get going. Of course, once he was out there he started digging a hole in the muddy yard. Dude, go up in the back field and dig a hole. Unless you were planning on filling it with ash and kicking your little brother in the ash hole. That wouldn’t be cool either. Today was a screen free video game free day so going outside was really the only other option. Best. App. Ever!

4. Can boys have babies?

No. And no, babies don’t come out of our penis… well, not infant babies like the ones that come of mommies. Bang asked this one this evening and we explained that only girls can have babies. DW took it one step further and told him that half comes from daddies and half comes from mommies. I sat back and listened, laughing my ass off because I knew what was coming next.

“So half comes from dad and half come from mom and what? You kiss and put the baby together?”

DW opened this can of worms so I had full intention of letting her get the lid back on it.

Yes. That’s exactly what happens. Then he asked about the babies coming out and asked about babies coming out of penises. No. That’s not what happens because girls don’t have penises. “Oh, yeah. They have innie penises.”

Then I told him about chromosomes and that if daddies give mommies an X then they’ll have a baby girl and if daddy gives mommy a Y, they’ll have a boy. This effectively ended the possibly too indepth sex ed conversation.

Have you had to explain babies to your little ones? How did you handle it? The whole truth or just enough to satisfy their curiosity?

download (1)

Go Ask Your Father: Life, Babies, Charities, Adult Shows

In case you missed yesterday’s awesome post, check it out here. Normally on Thursdays I ask my kids questions and they give us answers we can laugh at. Yesterday, I didn’t do that. Instead I asked my parents the questions. They were eager to participate and they didn’t let me down. Perhaps they’ll become a regular feature, too?

But today, my kids asked me some questions. Damn, they’re good at that. It’s like it’s their job or something!

1. Where did life come from?

When Bang first asked, I thought he meant babies. Then he clarified by saying, “No. Before people and animals and stuff.” Geez. From a 5 year old! I had to start off by telling him no one really knows. Once upon a time Earth was just a rocky, volcanic, hot mess. Perhaps it was waking with wicked hangover. I used to think that the water came from comets. But have just learned that scientists found glass crystals in the Earth’s mantle (the layer below its crust) that have trapped small droplets of water that are the same composition as the water on Earth now. Those water drops would not have been delivered by comets because comet water is “heavier”. Don’t worry, I thought water was water, too.

2. Are babies inside where the blood is? How do they get out?

sebastiankaulitzkiThis came as a two part question. Are babies inside where the blood is? We just had 2 very pregnant neighbors deliver their babies a couple weeks apart. So naturally Bang was curious to know this answer. The simple answer, yes. More specifically, they grow inside a uterus. While it’s in there with all the blood and stuff, it has a placenta to keep it alive. Oxygen, nutrients and hormones are delivered to the baby though it. So now that he knows they’re inside he wants to know how they get out. I wanted to tell him like the Chestburster from Aliens (Google it if you dare) but it was bedtime and I didn’t want to give cause for him needing serious therapy. So I just told him that sometimes a doctor will cut open a mommy’s belly to get the baby called a “c-section” or sometimes they come out of their pee pee. (This dad chickened out on the word vagina)

His response? “Oh. Well, I’m never having a baby.”

3. What’s a charity?

It could be a girl’s name. I’ve known a couple Charitys.

Or it could be an organization that collect money and/or items for those in need. There are thousands of different charities ranging from cancer to homeless, to animals, to environment, to pretty much everything. According to one article, the number of world wide charities and foundations surpassed 1.5 million.

4. Is that an adult show?

No. He’s not referring to how babies got in mommy’s bellies.

He’s talking about Blindspot. He heard DW and I talking about what shows we had recorded to watch. This is an FBI thriller kind of series. A woman is found in a duffle bag (alive and naked) covered in tattoos and with any memory of who she is. The tattoos are all clues leading to various crimes and crime syndicates. This is it’s second season and we’ve been enjoying it even if it does have a few “gee, that was convenient” moments. We also watch Grey’s Anatomy (what in Sam Hell is Karev getting himself into?) . We’ve been watching that one since season 1. It’s now in season 13! We also watch The Voice. While I don’t agree with allowing some of the contestants they do (ones already in the music business or ones who already have connections) it’s a good show. That one is not an adult show. It just comes on during adult time.

What shows do you enjoy watching sans kids?

aa837ea2ecd0e2b541330db917b05dae

F is for…

FFirsts…

Usually we’re so careful with our first borns. Their baby book is immaculate, documenting all their firsts, all their milestones and first memories.

First smile. First bath. First night in a crib. First time sitting up. First solid food. First crawl. First time standing. First steps. First trips, visits, first plane ride, first time in a forward facing car seat. First night in a bed. First tooth. First lost tooth. First day of school. First sports game. First recital. First time peeing in the potty. First time pooping in the potty. First sleepover. First girl/boy friend.  First date. First car. And suddenly they are grown adults with their own kids writing blogs about things you already know.

But what about lasts? We don’t recognize lasts so easily. Their last big kid tooth. Their last bubble bath because they only take showers now. Their last time riding with training wheels. The last time they sit on our lap. Their last day of school. The last time they want a kiss goodbye before leaving for school. These are the things that often don’t make into their baby book. These are the lasts we don’t immediately recognize until we think of them months and years later and wonder where the time went.

Nothing shows the passage of time like watching your kids grow. It doesn’t seem so long ago we brought home our first born. After his 16 day stay in the NICU and us being brand new parents, worried out of our minds. Now he’s a bustling 7 3/4 year old, in school, having friends over, having sleepovers, and full of attitude because mom and dad won’t stop nagging. In seven more years he’ll be entering high school and seven years after that he’ll be driving and in University (if that’s where he wants to go) and technically, an adult.

So, for now, I’ll go reminisce and leave you with the first time Crash held his baby brother, Bang.

Crash hold Bang