I’m Not Ready For This

IMG_1828

I’m not talking about the snow we got last night. That cold, white, fluffy stuff can fall all it wants. I’m comfortable driving in it (once we get our winter tires put on). I love playing in it. I love how it makes the world look clean again. We really didn’t even get that much. It was enough to make the roads wet and the grass white for a couple hours. It was also enough to excite a certain 6 year old.

I can’t believe it’s Christmas and it’s only November 14th!!

In truth, what I’m not ready for is the excited 6 year old’s brother to take an interest in girls. I always knew it was just a matter of time, but I didn’t think that time would ever come. It would eternally be “just a matter of time”. Girls are supposed to be gross. Cooties and all…

We’ve now come to a new bridge. One in which we’ve never crossed before. Preferably, I’d like to go ahead and burn it now and make him swim across when he’s 25. On the other hand, I don’t want him to drown or eaten by a manipulative crock when he starts swimming the strange waters that are relationships when he’s 25.

I’ve been trying to think of myself when I was 10. From what I can remember I was a fairly shy little dork back then. The only difference now is that I’m less shy. More importantly, I’m trying to remember how my parents handled me back then. Did I express such an interest in girls in fifth grade? Did my parents let me handle it how I wanted? How much more did they know than they let on to? Should I handle Crash’s love interests the same way?

My God. I’ve got a thousand more questions now than I did when I started writing this post.

I would love to be a hands off, watch from a distance kind of dad. At the same time, I don’t want to be watching from a distance if it’s going to be a trainwreck. But at the same time, it’s his trainwreck and he needs to learn how to handle it. But at the same time, maybe it won’t be trainwreck. I do have an extra tool that my parents didn’t have. Texting. He’s learned to text others from his tablet. This means, unbeknownst to him, we can read his conversations. On one hand it sounds like a breech in privacy and trust. In my head, we’re the parents, he’s 10, and we’re keeping him safe. Right? As of right now he doesn’t know that we DW figured out the password he put on his tablet.

The advantage is that it gives us an insight into what’s going on in his head. It’s easy to forget that he’s got more going on than just going to school and learning. He’s learning to make friends and be a friend. He’s learning about this girl interest. He’s got everything going on at home… being a son, being a brother, his own interests and desires. He is his own person even if he’s still growing into the man he’ll be one day. It’s our responsibility to help him grow into that man. Help him navigate those new waters, new experiences, and figure out how to grow up.

For now, I’ll just keep snooping, keep my trap shut on what I know, and try to show a little more patience.

Then I’ll cross my fingers and hope for more snow.

15 thoughts on “I’m Not Ready For This

  1. My son had a girl wanting to marry him when he was in prep πŸ˜‚ they were so cute together. Now at 19 he had a girl coming into our business asking if he worked there. Don’t think he needs to chase them . They all seem to chase him πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Once my son figures out texting and social media, I am going to have his password as well. I do have the perfect plan for when he starts being interested in dating. I am going to lock him up till he is at least 40, maybe 50. I suggest you have a look into this plan, its brilliant and simple πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ah, the dreaded girl(s) have entered the scene. I have 2 boys and often wonder what this is going to look like. My oldest introduced me to his first girlfriend when he was in pre-school! It was cute, but got me thinking about when it starts to become more than a pre-school romance. I think dating (or I guess at this stage just the interest) because kids can be so cruel, but I think having a good relationship and being there to listen will go a long way. Keeps us posted with any tips you find work. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you very much and thanks for stopping by to read. Our youngest (6) and our neighbor’s daughter (9) are currently planning their wedding which will apparently happen in April. This seems so different than the real relationships the oldest is looking for. Right now I think the best tip for me is to keep on top of it all. Know the passwords and know what is going on.

      Like

  4. I was about nine when I had my first girl interest. Margaret agreed to show me hers if I showed her mine. Sounded like a plan, so we went into the laundry room toilet (we lived in this big, fairly luxurious residential building that had a toilet in the laundry room). Margaret offered to let me put my ying-yang in her mouth. “Ah, better not,” I reasoned.

    So, anyway, maybe your son won’t go too far either..

    Liked by 1 person

  5. They grow up too fast, don’t they! I’m also torn between snooping and not snooping…after all we have to trust them but at the same time 10 (or 18) and below….that’s still under protective-custody age! πŸ˜…

    Before you know it though, he’ll be bringing you your future daughter in law. Don’t be surprised if the 2nd one beats his older brother to it. 😜

    Enjoy the snow!! Brrrrrrr

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m all for snooping. I’m not sure if I should tell him I’m snooping or not, though. I NEED to make sure he’s being safe about it. Monitor who he’s talking to. Monitor HOW he’s talking to them (don’t want him to be a cyberbully). When it comes down to it, it just parenting, keeping them safe, and trying to raise them properly. I love the snow! Though it’s long gone now, it’ll be back.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Absolutely! That’s true on HOW. Same worries of parents the world over…I worry about my kids being the bully as much as they get bullied.

        A matter of time before you are snowed in! I’m looking forward to the igloos in your backyard!

        Liked by 1 person

      • We parents may feel all alone sometimes. But I promise (and need to remember) that others have not only faced the same fears and problems, but are currently facing them. I can’t wait to build some igloos πŸ™‚ We do it every winter!

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s