Go Ask Your Father: Germs, Hypocrisy, Large Kites, and Preservatives

I was thinking our family needs a dog. Not a puppy, they’re too much like babies and we’re done with babies. A certain doctor saw to that. But after seeing how much my boys don’t like dogs, I’ve decided not to get one. I mean, sure, they could use some lessons in responsibilities. They’d have the thing tormented and hot-wired for insanity. Plus they’re terrified of dogs. Big dogs. Little dogs. Tiny dogs. They run away. Just look at these two terrified kids tormenting this 8 week old lab/retriever pup.

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Nah… we don’t need a dog.

Do we?

1. How small are germs?

Like 6 year olds, they come in varying sizes. Our eyes can see things slightly smaller than the width of a hair. Except my hair. No one can see my hair. Thiomargarita namibiensis is large enough to see with a naked eye, but it lives on the sea floor off Namiba. Somewhere I’ll never find myself. Apparently, E. coli is kind of large for a germ (technically bacteria). If 30 of them got together for a block party we could see them without assistance. However, germs that cause colds need a gathering of 2,400 to be able to see unaided. That’s more than a party. That’s a protest. They’re so small because they get inside other cells and use them to make more germs.

rhinovirus

Common cold virus

2. What’s it called when someone tells me to do something but they don’t do it?

You mean like when your brother tells you not to scare him, then he goes and scares you? Or he tells you to use just a little bit of syrup on his pancake then they recreates the Caspian Sea on his plate? That’s called being a hypocrite. It’s defined as claiming to have moral values to which behaviour doesn’t conform. Kind of like when Reagan damned some air-traffic controllers who went on strike for higher wages and shorter work weeks by firing them. However, he was once the president of the Screen Actors Guild – American Actor’s Union. Or Henry David Thoreau who wrote exhaustively about saving the environment, but accidentally burnt down half a forest with an maintained campfire. Or your bother comes to tattle tale on you and get you in trouble even though he was doing the exact same thing.

3. How big was the world’s largest kite?

If you check out the Guinness record it states that Abdulrahman Al Farsi and Faris Al Farsi built and flew the kite at the Kuwait Hala Festival in Flag Square, Kuwait City, Kuwait on 15 February 2005. However, this is misinformation on Guinness’s part. While the kite dimensions are correct. It was 137.8 feet wide, 83 feet long and had a 25 foot ceiling inside. However, it was built by Peter Lynn of New Zealand. The Al Farsi’s hired and commissioned Peter to build the kite in the fashion of the Iraqi flag. Peter considered getting it changed. However, like a trip to the DMV to get your license changed, Peter considered the nightmare it was getting the kite recognized by Guinness in the first place, he didn’t think it was wise or necessary to try.

kite

This kite is larger than a common cold virus

4. What are preservatives?

Crash noticed that his Nanny’s homemade bread got mouldy long before the store bought stuff did. To preserve things means to keep them unspoiled, fresh, or maybe just remembered. We preserve food, jam, memories, and history. If you put things in air tight containers you can preserve food for longer. Zipper seal bags are great at this. You can make a PBJ sandwich this summer, put it in a zipper seal bag and save it for next summer. Tupperware is great at that, too. Like the two boys in Eerie, Indiana (TV show of the 90’s) who slept in Tupperware containers and thereby never aged. Calcium propanoate and propionic acid are added to breads to inhibit the growth of bacteria and extend the loaf’s shelf life. Both of these are naturally occurring chemicals in dairy products that is produced artificially. However, lecithin is a naturally occurring preservative found in soy and egg yolk and when it’s added to bread it will help keep it light, fluffy, and preserved.

Now add me like a preservative to your follow list on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

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17 thoughts on “Go Ask Your Father: Germs, Hypocrisy, Large Kites, and Preservatives

      • I just saw a report about a family escaping DDR in a balloon they made out of fabric and parts of a motorbike. The show is called “White Rabbit Project” and it’s hosted by some of the people who used to be in Mythbusters. Just amazing. And it made me think how people take risk to do something and then invent something that will stick around.

        And yes, sorry, wouldn’t it be nice to preserve ourselves without needing to be mummies…

        Like

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