Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep 45

450 questions! I never dreamed it would go this far. I’m pulling questions out of my ears (to keep it polite). If you can think of any fun ones feel free to ask them in the comment section below and they’ll appear in future episodes along with the boys’ answers. Also, if you have your own kids between the ages of 0 and 100, feel free to ask them these questions. Their responses are sure to delight. And if you post them, be sure to let me know!

*Disclaimer: Please make sure your mouth is free of food and drink before reading. I am not responsible for you spraying your keyboard.

1. What might aliens from outer space look like?

Crash: They might have antennas, purple bumpy skin, one eye, and extremely dirty finger and toenails which are very sharp. And it has spikes for eyelids
Bang: 6 eyes, 5 arms, and 2, heads. They’re brown, black, white, and green and 16,000 inches tall
DW: Aren’t they green with funny shaped heads and big eyes?

2. If you could build anything in the backyard, what would you build?

Crash: A big big big water slide going down with a ramp at the end to jump into a big pool
Bang: One more house so we could have 2 furnitures
DW: A pool

3. If you had to leave the house in an emergency, what 3 things would you take?

Crash: Monkey, my baby stuff, and my Guppie Book
Bang: The Wii, the refrigerator, and Penguin
DW: I’d “think” about taking the kids. Piper (the parrot), External hard drive, and my pendent with dad’s thumbprint and ashes

4. What’s the best thing about growing up?

Crash: You don’t have to listen to your parents anymore! JUST KIDDING! You get to have kids.
Bang: That I can yell at people. Because that’s what you and mom do!
DW: Margaritas and bed

5. What word makes you laugh?

Crash: Banana
Bang: White
DW: LOL I don’t know!

6. We just bought a droid. What should we name it?

Crash: Mechanoid
Bang: Battledoor
DW: Bitch  Jeeves, the Butler

7. What would you do if you were Dad?

Crash: Stay up late all night and play Minecraft
Bang: I would clean
DW: I can’t answer that. It’s not social media appropriate.

8. What would you do if you were mom?

Crash: Sit in front of the computer all day doing Relay for Life stuff and work stuff.
Bang: Snuggle my kids
DW: I am Mom.

9. If you could change anything about school, what would you change?

Crash: I would change a rule. I would allow all the fidget toys in school.
Bang: No math and no reading. Oh, and no writing. And nothing but play time.
DW: You would have a job there.

10. Did you have any dreams?

Crash: Me, you, and Bang (Mom was out) were sitting in the living room watching TV. Bang asks if we can go to the attic (we don’t have an attic) to see what is up there. We had to push open a trapdoor to make a hole then we put a ladder there. There was a ton of stuff up there. There was a candle on a dresser and next to it was a golden watch that mom was looking for, apparently. Turns out it was Guppie’s old watch. Then Bang runs over to see because we all knew mom was looking for it. Bang bumps the candle and the floor catches on fire and it spreads. Fortunately, we get everything valuable out of the attic and put them in a grocery bag. The items would shrink when we put them in so we could put LOADS of stuff in it. Then we exited the house and Dad pulls out his cell phone and calls 911 and says, “Uh, there’s a fire at out house. Could you come put it out?” Then when they get here the firemen were aliens and they didn’t use water to put out the fire. They peed on the fire. Then mom pulls home and she walks in like nothing happened. Then I woke up and was like “Whoa”.
Bang: Nope, no dreams.
DW: I think I did but I can’t remember them.

Questioning where else you can find me? I’m on Facebook and Twitter!

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14 thoughts on “Questions I Asked My Kids: Ep 45

  1. I love your disclaimer (!) This post really needs it. So many coffee-snorting answers: ‘banana’,’clean’, ‘yell at people’. But the best, hands down, in my humble opinion, is Mom’s answer to ‘What would you do if you were Mom?’ ‘I am mom’. And I am still laughing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Everyone’s answers to “What’s the best thing about being grown up?” are so fantastic! Especially Crash saying “You get to have kids.” Score one for you and your wife! Good job!!
    You could ask, “If you were president, what’s the first thing you would do?”

    Like

    • I guess he wants kids. He’s already receieved the “mom curse” so he might change his mind afterwards. But it’ll be too late and DW and I will already be laughing and saying “You were the exact same way when you that age!”

      Liked by 1 person

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