Dropping the Average Age of the Church Choir

I thought I would write about how I sunburned my scalp today because the sun is a bastard. I mowed this morning and went to the park this afternoon, all without a hat. Bad mistake when you’re bald. It’s wasn’t warm today, so I never gave a hat a thought. 

I thought I would write about the history of Victoria Day, which is today here in Canadaland. It’s why there was no school today, too. However, I don’t want to sound like Professor Flitwick, so I refain from the boring history lesson. 

I thought I would write about how one TV/phone/internet company wanted us to switch to them and they offered a really good price to do so. So we did. Then our current provider called us to ask if price was the only reason we were switching. When DW told them, “Yes,” they offered to drop our rate to the competitors rate AND add in few extra channels. HBO. Some movie channels. We’ve all played that game, though.

I thought about doing the Grr to Great post that Eli- the Coach Daddy did, and I will, just not today. 

I want to share with you something that makes us parents proud – our kids willingly going to church. We aren’t overly religious people. We just attend church every Sunday. We don’t go ’round preaching the Word of God, or anything. We’re just trying to stay outta Hell. 

One Sunday, many weeks ago, as we entered church, DW told Bang to go pick a seat for us. He chose the very front row. You know, the pew reserved for those who show up late. Fortunately, we were off to the side and not dead center. It was where he could see best, though. DW and I were instructed by the littlest one to not sit with him. We were to sit behind him. 

Well, excuse me, Mr. Too Cool For Mom And Dad.

Weeks of this go by. Then it comes time for First Communion and where does Bang sit that morning? Front and center because he wanted to sit near the first communion kids. We allowed him because, thankfully, no one else minded. 

He has sat there every Sunday since. His brother and parents still sit in “their spot” (think Sheldon Cooper) while Bang goes to sit front and center by himself. At our church the words to the songs are projected on to the wall behind the choir. Bang would read the words and sing his little heart out over there in front of the choir, which consists mostly of retired women and couple men. They loved him – sitting in a pew by himself, singing away, ocassionally glancing over at his parents to see if we were watching him. I’m pretty sure he was flirting them, too. 

Then last week after church he asked us if he could sit with the choir! We said sure, as long as it was okay with them. Yesterday, he took his usual seat front and center. Once he saw the choir congregate he made his move. He came back to us to ask our permission. I’m guessing the choir ladies had said sure, as long it was okay with mom and dad. He went back to them and took his seat with choir, looking out at the congregation, beaming. One of the ladies handed him a hymnal and showed him the words and he sang and sang and sang. Some of the songs he knew by heart from having sung them so many times already and didn’t need the big book of songs. He’s already looking forward next Sunday.

It made us proud to see him up there singing. Hopefully, we’ve showed him anything is possible if he just tries. 

What made us just as proud as him singing with the choir was him reading the words to the songs. 

What have your children done to make you proud?
You can make me proud by following me on 
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Sunday Share: Week 21

If it’s not raining y’all, it’s windy. 70 kph wind gusts yesterday and today. It wouldn’t be so bad if it was a bit warmer, but it’s only 10C (50F). At least it’s not raining. Or snowing. Friends of ours in Newfoundland got snow yesterday. Not just some flurries or a dusting, but enough for snowball fights and sledding! Here we are approaching the end of May and they’re still out snowshoeing. 

So, whether you’re enjoying sunshine and warm weather or out building igloos, here is this week’s share. Happy reading!

Sauce Box Site

The capital of Illinois is what?

The Todfather

A sit down talk with dad about sleeping arrangements…

Rhythm In Life
Summertime! A poem…

Stories of Four Boys
About having all boys…

Riddle from the Middle

On bathrooms and bears…

 

To the Boy in Walmart

Dear Brayden,

You have solidified my faith in humanity. I still believe the world is a good place regardless of all that is happening throughout. You, sir, have scored a point for the good guys. Your honesty, your integrity, your desire to do the right thing has set you apart from so many others.

When Wanda* called me from Walmart this evening after we had just been there, I was a bit nervous at first. Then she asked me if had a son. I do. And I was still a bit nervous. Did she see him do something he should not have? He had wandered away from me for a minute. Then she asked if he had lost anything there this morning or this afternoon.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

I wasn’t aware that he had but I told her I would ask him. So I stepped outside and hollered to Crash*. Then I had to tell Wanda from Walmart that he’d be right here, he had to climb down out of the tree first.

Finally, he came to me and I asked him he had left anything in Walmart. He couldn’t remember losing anything. Wanda asked his name and how to spell it. I told her and she asked if he lost a little red zipper purse (though we call it a wallet). In it was $25. I asked Crash about it and he said it should be in the basket where it’s always kept. He went to look, but of course it wasn’t there.

It was in Walmart.

Wanda told me she made a donation on either behalf of herself or Walmart (I can’t remember which) for your honesty. Wanda told us you are 11 years old. She also gave us your name and number so that my son could call your son and thank him. Which he did. Unfortunately, he didn’t get to connect directly, but instead left a message thanking him.

Your parents are perfecting this thing called parenting. They have themselves a young man who understands honesty. Who not only understands the difference between right and wrong but can follow through with it. Walmart thanks you. I thank you. My son thanks you.

The world is still a good place and you have scored a point for the good guys.

Sincerely,

A Hopeful Parent

*Names have been changed.

Go Ask Your Father: Goose, First People, Anuses, and Staying Up Late

The sun! The heat! The grass is growing fast than the boys, which I didn’t think was possible. The weather is here, wish you were beautiful. (Thank for that line Jimmy Buffet) I just realized you can change the meaning of that statement with a simple coma. Wish you were, beautiful.

Bang is here crushing my candy. He beat a level for me, as he commonly does.
Me: Thanks for beating that level for me, bud.
Bang: You’re obviously welcome. I am the master, you know.

1. What’s a baby goose called?

A baby oyster is a spat. A baby kangaroo is a joey. A baby jellyfish is an ephyna. A baby pigeon is a squab. A baby spider is a spiderling. A baby alpaca is a cria. Many animals are pups or calves or chicks. A baby goose, though? That’s a gosling. Like the Ryan some females tend to drool over like I drool over a cheeseburger. It’s an old word, apparently. It’s from the Old Norse gǽslingr, from gás ‘goose’ + -ling. You know something else that is Old Norse? Thor, the God of Thunder.

canada-gosling

a baby goose

ryan-gosling_cannes-63rd

not a baby goose

 

 

 

 

 

2. Who were the first people on Earth?

Depends on who you ask. If you ask Ken Ham the Christian Fundamentalist, Adam and Eve were the first people. He also believes the Earth was created 6,000 years ago. However, if you ask Bill Nye the Science Guy (BILL BILL BILL) the Earth is four and half billion years old and the first humans evolved from apes and human evolved around 2.8 million years ago. But that’s arguable among scientists. Just because it looks human doesn’t necessarily make it human. Did it use tools? How did it get food? How smart was it. I know some people who still haven’t quite finished evolving from their neanderthal status.

3. What’s an anus*?

Here’s how it happened. We were watching a video on YouTube and a family was at a science museum. They were looking at planets. The dad says, “There’s yer-anus.” His son then asks, “My anus?” And then Bang asks his question. The simple answer? It’s the hole your poop comes out. The long answer? It’s the end of your digestive tract. Food leaves your small intestines (10′ long) and enters your large intestines (5′ long). This is comprised of the ascending colon, the transverse colon, the descending colon and the sigmoid colon. From there it’s stored in the rectum until it’s ready for expulsion. Whether you’re ready or not.

*also called – one eyed pirate, the stink eye, a poop chute, President…

4. Can I stay up late?

If you have wee ones you have heard this question many times, no doubt. If you read Go Ask Your Father you have read this question before. Tonight, Crash is at a friend’s house for a sleepover. It’ll be the first time he’s gone farther from Nanny’s for a sleepover without his parents. So it’s just Bang and his parents playing Candy Crush. (I’m only at level 439. DW is at 560) Since it’s now 8:00 pm and he’s still awake, the answer is yes. Plus the Orioles play the Blue Jays in Baltimore so that game is on T.V. Will I be up late? Yes, yes I will.

If you’re up late, click here to check out (and follow!) my Facebook page. Then come back and click here to check out (and follow!) me on Twitter.

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Questions I Asked My Kids: ep 43

1. If you were to make a new flavor of potato chip, what flavor would you make?

Crash: Strawberry
Bang: Strawberry apple
Mom: Asiago something

2. If you create a new baseball team to play the Orioles, what would their name be and what colors is their uniform?

Crash: The Benchwarmers and they’d be light brown and white
Bang: Their uniform would be yellow and black and white. Their name would be The Jeffy Bronze
Mom: [stares blankly]

3. If you had to change your name to something in this room, what would you be called?

Crash: Janigle (one of his stuffies)
Bang: Wall
Mom: George (as in Curious George)

4. If Canada were to make a new coin, who’s face should they put on it?

Crash: My own
Bang: Pop Pop’s
Mom: Mine

5. Would you rather have 4 eyes or 4 arms. Why?

Crash: 4 arms so I could do the dishes faster (he doesn’t do dishes)
Bang: 4 arms so I can floss my teeth faster
Mom: 4 arms so I can get more done

6. What would be the coolest why to go to school?

Crash: Bugatti
Bang: Airplane
Mom: Hovercraft

7. What would be the grossest jelly bean flavor?

Crash: Snot
Bang: Hippopotamus
Mom: Poop

8. If you had to describe yourself with one word, what would you NOT use?

Crash: Stupids
Bang: Boring
Mom: Skinny

9. What song do you want to listen to in the truck?

Crash: That song on Google Play music that made us laugh (it was on Ini Kamoze station, but I have no idea which song or who sings it)
Bang: Here Comes the Hotstepper
Mom: Play that Song

10. What animal would be funny to bring into our house?

Crash: Elephant because when he sits on the couch he’ll break it
Bang: Another Piper (quaker parrot)
Mom: Monkeys who fling poo at Hubband

Am I My Child’s Servant?

The scene: 7 am in the morning, breakfast time. Dad is in the kitchen. 9 year old is in the living room.

Dad: [Hollering from the kitchen] What do you want for breakfast?
9 yo: [Hollering from the living room] A bagel.
Dad: Come on out and make it.
9 yo: Can you make it?
Dad: No.
9 yo: UGH! [stomps on floor]

Am I my child’s servant? I’d like to think I’m not. When it’s pancake morning, I’m more than happy to make them because I’ve seen the resulting mess. That, and I don’t yet trust the 9 year old to use the stove.

We’re working on it, though.

But a bagel? He can make that. And no, I’m not going to pour his milk for him, either. I’m afraid if I were to tend to his every wish I’d soon be wiping his arse and picking his nose for him.

Eww. Gross.

Isn’t that what people think happened to the Millennials? They were coddled and babied and had everything done for them so now they can’t boil water. I’ve heard stories (and I’d like to think they’re just stories, but they’re probably not) about parents attending their child’s job interview. About parents calling university professors to get their child’s grade changed. About Millennials who eat out because they can’t cook.

I apologise to those Millennials this does not apply to.

We’ve been working on independence. Mostly in the morning getting ready for school and in the evening getting ready for bed. His ADD doesn’t really help the situation, but knowing why he’s having so much trouble is a step toward helping him better. Prior to helping him he needed constant supervision to keep him on track. He couldn’t get into pajamas and brush his teeth without being distracted by his brother, or books, or his toenails. So I would stand outside his bedroom door and give constant verbal reminders on what he should be doing.

I’m afraid of what might happen should this continue into his teen years or even later. Should I just resolve the fact that he’ll be living with us forever? Perhaps long enough that I’ll be so old I can’t cook my supper. Maybe by then he’ll have it figured out and will be able to take care of his elderly parents in their final years. Perhaps if we can get him a good job he’ll be able pay for the house and the groceries and the hover cars.

So  we are creating an independent individual today so that he can make his own bagel. If he can make his own bagel he won’t be hungry in school. If he’s not hungry in school he’ll be able to focus better. If he focuses better he’ll learn more. If he learns more he’ll get into university. If he gets into university he’ll get a good job. If he gets a good job he’ll be able to afford to feed himself. If he can feed himself he can make his own bagel.

And wipe his own arse.

The Untitled Post or The Cursed Cursor

Blink

Blink

Blink

Mocking me. Staring at me with it’s thumbs against its temples
Fingers splayed like antlers on a moose,
Tongue stuck out, nose wrinkled.
Teasing. Taunting. Telling me there’s nothing to write,
Nothing in my head.
Yet my fingers tickle the keys, pointers on the homerow.

Waiting.

Waiting for something to materialize through the brain fog
Like smog that sits stifling cities
The voices are talking
But it sounds like they’re under water
I’m here trying to hear
To clear the muffled sound
So I can write something you will want to read

But all the cursor does is sit on a field of white
Mocking.
Teasing.
Taunting.

Blink

Blink

Blink

 This is what happens when I sit and stare at white screen for too long. I’ll try again tomorrow.

Music Monday: Three Finger Shot

No. This isn’t a post about alcohol. Though it easily could  be. Drinks taste so much better when these guys play. Beer goggles except in reverse.

It is about a small band of friends who are also friends of ours. DW sort of grew up with the lead singer, Tony. So they go way back…

Their first album entitled Stories From A Small Town was released  April 3rd of this year. I would class them as a Celtic rock band. With class. Stories From A Small Town consists of six songs. Of which, 3 are originals and one is Tony’s from a former band. (I think)

They sound like a Guinness tastes. Delivered with a powerful voice, you can’t deny the talent this band wields. Their Celtic Rock tunes will make you wish you were Irish. They’ll make you want to sing along, even if you can’t carry a tune with two hands and bucket. Yet, on the flip side, they can slow it down and swoon you with songs you swear they’re singing just for you.

Then they hit you like a Three Finger Shot.

Find them on the internet. Find them on Facebook. Download them from iTunes.

Sunday Share Week 20: The Mother’s Day Edition

It takes a village to raise a child.

I had my share of mother’s growing up. My own mother who made sacrifices to make sure I got to play sports – baseball, soccer, and in high school, wrestling. Then there we all my friend’s mothers who often times allowed me over for sleepovers and would feed me and make sure my mom knew where I was. Then there were my two mother-in-laws who took me into their family as if I was one of their own.

Then there is DW, the mother of my children. Not only does she keep our kids in line, but she’s taken over keeping me in line, too. Kind of like the passing of the torch.

It takes a village.

KS Beth
Moms and circuses…

Erika Kind
100 years…

A Momma’s View
An unpaid, full-time job…

Ah Dad
Scoring brownie points…

Sheila Moss
Trying to say thanks…

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Community Clean Up

I’ve written about Earth before. Several times, actually. I shared a video last June narrated by Julia Roberts. I have since learned there are a slew of these video narrated by various celebrities and cover all facets of our Mother Earth. Oceans. Rainforests. The Sky.

Today, Team Wood did our small part. Every spring our community organizes a town clean-up. Today was the fourth annual clean up. According to organizers there were about 30 volunteers who showed up. She guessed the numbers were low because today was the first full day of sunshine in over a week. We knew where we wanted to clean, so, upon registration, we just informed them where we were going. We were handed 8 very large garbage bags and 1 clear bag for refundables, then set off. The sun was shining. The kids were excited. With gloves donned we were cleaning up a ditch along main street. 

That’s a glimpse of what it was like before we started. This gully was about 75 meters long and it looked like this the entire length. It was also parallel to a heavily trafficked road. This is what visitors to our town would see. So we cleaned it up. 

The boys were on a mission for an hour and half and DW and I were both impressed with their determination and attitudes. In past clean up they had been less than helpful. DW talked to them afterwards telling them to remember this when they are older and out with their friends. The Earth is not a garbage can. When people treat it like this we end up having to clean up their mess. So should they or their friends be tempted to just throw their garbage on the ground, remember this day, remember this is the only Earth we have. How difficult would be to just put it in a garbage can?

Here’s what it looked like after filling 4 very large garbage bags and a bag of refundables…

How do you help Mother Earth?If you’re looking for a clean place to go, find my exceptionally tidy place on Facebook and Twitter!