Geeking Out

I’m still a kid at heart. DW can testify to that. I enjoy games. Sport games. Video games. Board games. Word games. Picture games. Though my taste in toys has changed over the years. No longer do I ride Big Wheels (though I more than likely would if they made them my size). No longer do I play with Speak-n-Spell (though I probably should because my spelling can be atroshus). Now my toys involve a bit more technology.  It will come as no surprise for two items on my “after we get rich” list. Naturally, these are items strictly on my “want” list. There’s no way I need these things other than to make life a bit more fun. But still… I can’t wait to get rich.

The first item is kind of like something I already have except about a million times better. You may have seen a video I made with this techy toy. It’s a small drone. When I say small, I mean that it doesn’t have any bells and whistles. We’re lucky if the battery lasts ten minutes. It has the power to carry a GoPro, but if I lose sight of it, it’s gone. If a gust of wind blows, it’ll be gone. So we’ve limited ourselves to flying it just in the backyard. It’s still fun. But this new one, this high tech one called a Mavic that’s made by DJi, has all the bells and whistles. The battery lasts for nearly a half hour. It folds up small enough to (barely) fit in your pocket. It has a wicked camera. It has GPS so that it can hover in one spot no matter the wind speed. It can fly 4 miles away and return with the touch of a button. It can follow you! Okay, so it costs as much as a new computer, but how much fun would that be? Granted, I’d still be filming our family 99% of the time with it. However, imagine filming yourself, or the kids, or all of us, from the air as we go zooming down the best sledding hill our town has to offer. Imagine a birds eye view you could of yourself, of the kids, of all of us, kayaking a forested, lazy river. It’s taking home video to levels never seen before. If anyone knows where I could get my hands on one, I would LOVE to fly one of these. 

The second toy I have my eye on is a new gaming system. We have a Wii and have had it for many years. It’s easy to use. Both of our boys were using it by the age of 2 or 3 (with supervision, of course). Lately, we have spent two or three nights a week having a “family night” after supper and before bed playing four player Mario Kart. The boys laugh and laugh when DW lets slip a bad word because she fell off the track, again. In March, Nintendo has a new system coming out that’s getting a fair amount of hype called The Switch. It seems to be part tablet and part console in the sense that you can dock it to your TV to play, but once undocked you can continue playing your game as a tablet. It even has controllers that fit the tablet portion. I’m curious to see if it can still play four player games locally without having to be online like the Wii can. Also like the Wii, it relies on controller motion, not just joystick movement and button pushing of it’s competitors. Crash has asked me to print a chore chart again so he can start earning an allowance to save up for this. I’m curious to see how it does once it hits the market.

What’s on your wish list?

This Is Not the Blog You’re Looking For…

If you came here for a laugh, you’ll have to look elsewhere. Check with Ah Dad.

If you came here for some insightful pieces of wisdom on parenting, you’ll definitely have to look elsewhere. Check with Coach Daddy.

I’m too busy to post tonight.

I’m making double chocolate chip cookies and bacon.

Sunday Share: Week 2

It’s a relatively quiet Sunday here. We made it to Church though the boys didn’t earn Tim Horton’s afterwards because of their behavior. On the plus side, their behavior wasn’t so awful to deserve crusifixion. We came home and did a few chores – the boys cleaned their rooms and put away all the clean laundry I created yesterday. I stripped. 

The bed sheets are need of washing. 

We’re getting ready to go ice skating. We went yesterday and Bang broke his skate trainer so now he needs to learn to skate without it. He can, he just needs to improve. I’ll get some more video of their improvement.

Happy reading!

Wonderoak

Forever on your team…

Skinny And Single

Moving to Canada?

Return of the Modern Philosopher

Dating tips…

Buzymum

Angering your kids

A Momma’s View

Food awareness

Quetions My Kids Ask: Bacon, Bears, Brains, and Wiggly Teeth

The winds are howling here tonight. If this keeps up we just may wake up in Munchkinland tomorrow. We’re battening the hatches and holding our hats. Knock on wood we don’t lose power. At least then I wouldn’t have to worry about the kids not turning off the lights!

Why does bacon shrink when you cook it?

God this stuff is good. Meat of the heavens. I’m sure you’ve all noticed that the final product is significantly smaller than the original. There are two factors at play. One is water. As the bacon is fried it loses water content. As it loses water content it shrivels right up. Store bought bacon most often has more water in it due to the way it’s cured (injected with brine – aka salt water). They use more water to make the bacon look better. It is also an abundant source so the processor is able to offer it at a lower price. They saccrifice quality for profit and we get what we pay for.

The second factor is fat and the temperature it’s cooked at. Fat rendering is when the fat turns from solid to liquid while cooking. So some of it will cook off and end up in the drain pan. When buying bacon, look for the package that has more pink than white. Also, cook it at the lowest temperature you can. Baking it best, but who their right mind wants to wait an hour for bacon? 

What do bears eat?

Whatever the hell they want. Then they poop wherever the hell they want. Who’s going to stop him? Surely not me. Most people think bears are meat eaters. With the exception of the polar bear, most bears’ diet consists mostly of vegitation. The black bear, for example, eats plants and berries about 85% of the time. The other 15% consists of insects, stolen meat, and small rodents like mice. In the Pacific Northwest they’ll hunt salmon on occassion. Meanwhile, their cousin the grizzly, eats a bit more meat and will hunt bigger game like deer, elk,  moose, and bison. Sometimes they’ll catch fish like salmon and trout. But when meat isn’t readily available they’ll fatten up on moths and other insects. The panda bear, of course, eats strictly vegitation. So, like I said, they eat whatever they want. Some are carniverous, most are omniverous, and a select few are vegans  herbivores.

What does your brain look like?

Once upon a time Bang thought brains looked like a spring. I don’t know why he thought that. I corrected him during our discussion of him wanting to be a neurosurgeon when grows up. They look like greyish, pinkish, wrinkly, sponges. There also seems to be a corrolation between the “hills” (gyri) and the “valleys” (sulci) and intellegence. It is thought that the more ridges an animal has the more intellegent it is. For example, mice have smooth brains while human and monkey brains are full of ridges. Though with some humans I truly wonder if they really do have ridges like a marble…

Do you have any wiggly teeth?

I do not, thankfully. Though with what the tooth fairy doles out sometimes I’m half tempted to start knocking them out myself. I have all my adult teeth minus the two wisdom teeth I had pulled. Crash and Bang on the other hand don’t have all their adult teeth yet. Crash still has about 6 more teeth to lose! Bang has his first new tooth coming in and it’s causing two teeth to start to wiggle. Sometimes we swear they’re sharks with multiple rows of teeth. Have you ever seen a kids x-ray of their teeth. You can clearly see their adult teeth up inside their head just waiting to move down and shove out their cute little baby teeth. Just Google “x-ray of kids teeth”. Either way, it’s great to have teeth that allow us to eat bacon.

Thank You School

Here in Nova Scotia, our public education system is under an intense amount of stress right now. Teachers are being overworked to the point that they’re losing teaching time in order to fulfill other mandanted requirements. These mandated requirements may or may not be improvements to the system, they’re arguable. 

Crash and Bang are still receiving proper education from their teachers, even with the “work to rule” strike still in place. I’m not here to discuss what they’re learning from their teachers.

I’m here tonight to discuss what they’re learning in school from their friends.

You’ve all seen the latest phenomenon. Bottles of water drank down to the last 1/4 of the bottle. Intentionally. It flips better that way. I’ve got mixed opinions on this little game. I’m cool with it. I’ll even admit I’ve flipped a few bottles myself.  It’s not as easy as the internet makes it seem. The only flipping I do now is flipping him off behind his back when he frustrates me. After listening to someone make it thunk a few times it starts to get annoying. Like a jackhammer-outside-your-bedroom-window-at-6-am-on-a-Saturday kind of annoying. Now he tries to flip everything. Empty kiddie cups. His bedroom garbage can. His clothes hamper (which a larger version of his garbage can). His reusable water bottle. A yogurt container. The ketchup. Fortunately, he hasn’t tried to flip his brother. 

Yet. 

Then there is this thing called “dabbing”. The best I can describe is that it’s a one step dance move. None of this 5,6,7,8 necessary. All that’s needed is the 5. One arm covers your eyes, the other arm goes out and up in the same direction. So now he wants to do everywhere he goes. He dabs in Walmart (though I suppose it’s normal to dab there. It’s normal to do almost everything there). He dabs when a camera points at him. He dabs while ice skating. It resembles Usain Bolt’s signature move. Except less cool. So less cool that it’s damn near boiling. 

Speaking of boiling… that’s hot. Though certainly not in “both ways”. I had to laugh when he came out with that one for the first time. He had just come inside from playing basketball or something and he was a bit sweaty and he tells me, “I’m hot.” He took a dramatic pause before laying on the charm, “In both ways.” 

Huh? You’re hot in both ways? “No, son. My wife (your mom) is hot in both ways after she’s done her walk/run thing that she does. You, sir, are 9.” If he’s hot in both ways, I’m too sexy for my shirt (like Right Said Fred said). I asked him, what are “both ways”? He defined the first way, no sweat. He wasn’t clear on the second way. When I say “wasn’t clear” I mean he hadn’t the foggiest idea. 

So thank you school for giving him such cool friends to teach him these cool things to do to drive his parents batshit crazy. I don’t even want to guess at what the next “cool” thing will be. I know it won’t be as cool as the Electric Slide, big hair, or “Eat my shorts.”

What fads and sayings do you remember from our glory days?

I’m Sorry World

I’m sure you’ve all heard of climate change, formerly known as global warming. It’s causing glaciers and the polar ice caps to melt which causes the ocean levels to rise and the polar bears to lose their habitat. Without the ice to reflect the sunlight, the dark waters absorb more heat and thereby warms the Earth even faster. This heat difference also causes more extreme weathers – hotter summers and colder winters and severe weather, like hurricanes, are worsened by the effects of climate change. 

And it’s all my fault.

Not mine directly, but my offspring. My offspring are killing the polar bears. Both of them as a matter of fact. What the hell is it with doors and lights? They have no trouble turning the light on when they enter a room. Yet, when they leave, through the exact same God damn door, they don’t bother to flick the switch down to turn the light off. The lights are on but noboby’s home. They love to burn light bulbs for the frickin’ dust bunnies. And because they don’t clean their rooms, there are plenty of those hopping around. All that energy just being wasted like we’ve got nothing better to spend our money on than the electricity to light up a room nobody is in. All that energy created by the power company who, I’m pretty sure I can hear laughing in the night, is laughing at me. They’re getting rich off me because my kids don’t know how to flick the switch a second time. They’re burning more and more CO2 emitting coal to light all the rooms nobody is in. 

Then there are the doors to enter and exit the house. Like the switches they can flick up to turn on a light yet can’t flick down to turn the light off, they can open a door to get out of it, but can’t close it behind them. All of our nice, warm, cozy inside air wanders right out the door like a wayward teen. They can’t close it when they leave the house. They can’t close it when they enter the house. I have seen them exit by way of the back door and then immediately enter through the front door and leave both of them swinging wide open like a barn door a bull busted off the hinges. In JANUARY! I don’t like to be stereotypical, but if the only thing you know about Canada, is that it gets cold enough in winter to make Hoth look like a tropical resort. So because of my leave-the-door-flapping-in-the-freezy-breeze kids, the Earth is warming uncontrollably. 

I’m sorry Earth.

Note: In Bang’s defence, he is significantly better at turning lights off when he leaves the room. The door is just as much a problem for both of them.

Close the door!

21 Questions I Asked My Wife

I highly encourage you ask your spouse these questions. The laughs you get will make it well worth it. I’m not even sure where I found these, but here they are for your enjoyment (and mine). 

Q: Would you rather I be completely hairless or as hairy as a gorilla?
A: Completely hairless

Q: What actress would play you in a movie about your life?
A: Katie Holmes (or Emilia Clarke or Megan Fox if Katie isn’t available)

Q: Who would play your love interest (aka, me) in a movie about your life?
A:  Kelly Slater or 
Howie Mandel or Billy Zane (from The Titanic) (she also named Mr. Magoo)

Q: Would you rather our children grow up to be 8 feet tall or 3 feet tall?
A: 8 feet tall

Q: If you had to go a week without your phone, what would you miss the most about it?
A: Wunderlist (our grocery/to do list)

Q: What do you like most that I do in bed?
A: Scratch my head

Q: What was your first impression of me? Did you ever dislike me?
A: My first thought was “Wow, he’s really short.” and “Why’s he’s wearing a trench coat?”

Q: What’s your favorite memory of our wedding day?
A: Seeing how excited you were when the bagpiper piped us into our reception

Q: If you woke up tomorrow as a man, what would be the first three things you’d do?
A: Stratch my junk, play with my junk, and pee standing up

Q: Would you rather use whipped cream or hot fudge?
A: Depends on what we’re using it for… 

Q: What do you think is your best physical feature?
A: My smile

Q: What do you think is my best physical feature?
A: Your bum

Q: If you could be on any reality TV show, which one would it be?
A: Gold Rush so I could drive a bulldozer or a big digger

Q: Have you ever obsessed over anything? (toys, movies, projects, people, problems)
A: New Kids on the Block

Q: What were your nicknames growing up, including the ones you didn’t want to stick?
A: Smurfette, Shit-heels, Pissy-Liz, Bimp, Boo, Snugglebum

Q: If I let you dress me, what would I wear on our next date?
A: Dark jeans, brown shoes, and a nice button up shirt (she knows I hate brown shoes)

Q: Would you ever role play in bed?
A: Yes.

Q: Yoga pants or skirts?
A: Yoga pants

Q: What song would you sing for your audition on The Voice?
A: As I Lay Me Down by Sophie B. Hawkins or The First Cut Is the Deepest by Sheryl Crow

Q: Is there a food that reminds you of me?
A: Hearty Chicken Bake

Q: Is there a memory you have or me that always makes you laugh?
A: Holey underwear

Sunday Share, the First Week of 2017

We’re a week into the newest year so I’ll stop wishing everyone a happy new year. It’s getting old. I hope the first week of the new year has been kind to everyone. We just lots of snow, in case you hadn’t heard yet. 4 inches on Friday. 8 more inches last night. Now I’ve got my “lodge socks” on and and chillin’ out with dee-dubya (pronounced “DW”) and a few good reads.

What am I reading? Light Between Oceans and these blogs…

Sane Teachers
Teacher watching…

Truthful Parenthood
A few parenting laughs…

The Opinionated Dad
When the kid is quiet…

Harsh Reality
On Blogging….

Mom’s Ranting
More gems than one kid needs…

5

When we get good “snowman snow” I’m building a few inspired by Calvin.

 

Jars of Positivity

Positive outlooks sometimes don’t come easily or naturally. Sometimes they aren’t readily visible. With our lives often hectic, looking for the bright side is like looking for a dolphin in the Sahara. We’re too busy. We’re too frustrated. We believe there is no bright side. Regardless of what we believe, there’s always a bright side. It may not be as bright as we want it, but it’s there. We just need to find those calm, brief moments to understand the positives in that situation. 

One way we found to help us find the positives was to leave each other secret notes. They were short – whatever could be written on a 2 inch by 3 inch post it note. A couple years ago DW set up 4 small, glass vials on the living room window sill. On each one was a letter respresenting each of the four family members. Also by the window was a pen and a pile of small post it notes. The idea was that we could write each other little notes at random and leave them in the jar for the family member to discoer and read. After reading them we’d place them in a bucket to keep for later. The jars were there for quite a while, maybe six months, and we accumulated a buckful of positives. For a year after we stopped writing, our secret notes sat in the small bucket behind the TV. During tonight’s run in the snow it came to me that I should take a look back and see what we wrote. I also thought I’d like to share them with you. 

  • You are loved XOXOXO
  • We love you because you helped build the park and give back scratches and I give her hugs
  • Thank you for filling the peanut feeder and keeping our crows, blue jays and grackles fed.
  • Santa loved your turkey soup!
  • I love you
  • You are the best mom ever!
  • I love the mudder cuz she builds a track with me and I love her wiff her glasses adn earrings on and I love so so much in all the world and I put my earrings on like the mother. And I actually snuggle her.
  • Santa was wondering if you could give him a push or two if he gets stuck when he comes on Christmas Eve. 
  • Love you lots- millions and billions to infinity and beyond! XOXOXO
  • Great job on your first day of school!
  • Even though you drive me crazy, I am thankful for you. Luboo millions xoxo Wifey
  • Thanks for getting the car sold!
  • You have a cute bum. Can I grab it?
  • You are mama’s awesome little helper!
  • Happy birthday Dad!
  • Santa was really happy to hear how well you played with your brother after school yesterday.
  • Have an awesome 8th birthday! Love you!
  • Luboo millions and billions! XOXOXOXO
  • Even though you drive me crazy, I am thankful for you. XOXO Mom
  • I love you!
  • I only drive you crazy because I love you. Happy turkey day!
  • Mrs. Claus thanks you for your cookie recipe. She is making some right now!
  • You are loved. XOXO
  • Mom, I love your boobies. They’re so cute. (from the then 3 year old)
  • Santa is really happy to hear that you aren’t stomping and screaming
  • Happy birthday to my hubband. I don’t say it enough (out loud) but I am grateful that we have you in our lives. Love you more!
  • Is the weather good for fishing? (refrence to “Number the Stars by Lous Lowry)
  • You have a cute bum! Love you- have a good day!
  • I love you XOXO Capten Mims
  • Thank you for my first day of work flowers and for cleaning the house and making supper while I’m gone and still lubbing me after 10 years even though I’m fat! Luboo millions xoxoxoxo
  • n Iaokd iiHaK (the 3 year old wrote his own note)
  • Happy 4th birthday my baby boy!
  • I love you!
  • Great job telling truth about breaking your cousin’s sword. Now we will work on replacing it. Proud of your bravery xoxo mom
  • Happy 10 year lover! XOXO luboo millions and billions
  • I love you. You’re my best boyfriend and my best brother and I like him to play trains (Bang to Crash scribed by Mom)
  • I like when we go in the zipper and we bounce on the tramperline wiff us and wiff daddy (by the 3 year old)
  • Happy Halloween! (fr:Crash)
  • Happy grading day! On to grade 3  – way to go! XOXO
  • Thank you for great notes from school. Keep it up! 
  • Great job listening and getting ready for school this morning when asked to get ready. Love you! XOXO
  • Great job mowing the lawn – it makes us happy when you help around the house!
  • I love Dad and he builds a track and plays trains with me and I love him so so much all the world, Love from Bang
  • Thank you for feeding my flowers and watering them. Luboo millions XOXO

    Whoo! I got this post written and published before midnight! (I still have 4 minutes to go)

    A snow at Night

    I’ve got 17 minutes while my video Crash and I recorded this evening finished rendering so I can get up on the channel. Crash wants it on his channel, too.

    Anyway, Bang is off to a sleepover at Nanny and Pop’s house. The snow is flying here and we’re supposed to get 4 inches tonight and another possible 12 inches tomorrow night. The winds were calm so I suggested to Crash, “Lets take the drone for a fly.”

    “But it’s dark and snowing!”

    “So. It’ll be alright. There’s no wind.”

    The grin he gave me nearly split his face in two. First, we were going to fly the drone. Second, it was slightly risky because it’s dark and snowing. Good father/son times. Excluding severe weather,  wind is our biggest enemy with this toy. Since there was none, we strapped on the GoPro (which doesn’t mind extreme weather) and took off.

    It was calm enough that I fairly comfortable handing the controls over to Crash. Allowing a 9 year old to manoeuvre a done that doesn’t have GPS capabilities isn’t highly recommended. He didn’t do too bad. I was there to coach him. His only mistake was that he kept throttling down too fast so he kept “bouncing” it off the snowy ground. Fortunately, it was only falling from a few feet. No harm done and he got to experience handling the controls.

    I got some neat video at the end, but because I had forgotten to wipe the snow off the camera on the last bounce there wasn’t much to see. You can just barely make us out through the snow crystals clinging to the lens.

    Anyway, this little toy of ours has become something he and I can do together. Granted, the battery only lasts about 10 minutes… it’s still time together. After our flight, it was snack time, teeth time, then read time. We’re on chapter 29 of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix – another us time moment that we both look forward to every night. Now I’m looking forward to spending a few minutes with DW before we both crawl into bed between our new microfleece sheets.

    Click here to see the drone in the snow at night video…

    snow-drone