Thank You School

Here in Nova Scotia, our public education system is under an intense amount of stress right now. Teachers are being overworked to the point that they’re losing teaching time in order to fulfill other mandanted requirements. These mandated requirements may or may not be improvements to the system, they’re arguable. 

Crash and Bang are still receiving proper education from their teachers, even with the “work to rule” strike still in place. I’m not here to discuss what they’re learning from their teachers.

I’m here tonight to discuss what they’re learning in school from their friends.

You’ve all seen the latest phenomenon. Bottles of water drank down to the last 1/4 of the bottle. Intentionally. It flips better that way. I’ve got mixed opinions on this little game. I’m cool with it. I’ll even admit I’ve flipped a few bottles myself.  It’s not as easy as the internet makes it seem. The only flipping I do now is flipping him off behind his back when he frustrates me. After listening to someone make it thunk a few times it starts to get annoying. Like a jackhammer-outside-your-bedroom-window-at-6-am-on-a-Saturday kind of annoying. Now he tries to flip everything. Empty kiddie cups. His bedroom garbage can. His clothes hamper (which a larger version of his garbage can). His reusable water bottle. A yogurt container. The ketchup. Fortunately, he hasn’t tried to flip his brother. 

Yet. 

Then there is this thing called “dabbing”. The best I can describe is that it’s a one step dance move. None of this 5,6,7,8 necessary. All that’s needed is the 5. One arm covers your eyes, the other arm goes out and up in the same direction. So now he wants to do everywhere he goes. He dabs in Walmart (though I suppose it’s normal to dab there. It’s normal to do almost everything there). He dabs when a camera points at him. He dabs while ice skating. It resembles Usain Bolt’s signature move. Except less cool. So less cool that it’s damn near boiling. 

Speaking of boiling… that’s hot. Though certainly not in “both ways”. I had to laugh when he came out with that one for the first time. He had just come inside from playing basketball or something and he was a bit sweaty and he tells me, “I’m hot.” He took a dramatic pause before laying on the charm, “In both ways.” 

Huh? You’re hot in both ways? “No, son. My wife (your mom) is hot in both ways after she’s done her walk/run thing that she does. You, sir, are 9.” If he’s hot in both ways, I’m too sexy for my shirt (like Right Said Fred said). I asked him, what are “both ways”? He defined the first way, no sweat. He wasn’t clear on the second way. When I say “wasn’t clear” I mean he hadn’t the foggiest idea. 

So thank you school for giving him such cool friends to teach him these cool things to do to drive his parents batshit crazy. I don’t even want to guess at what the next “cool” thing will be. I know it won’t be as cool as the Electric Slide, big hair, or “Eat my shorts.”

What fads and sayings do you remember from our glory days?

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20 thoughts on “Thank You School

  1. I taught high school science for many years and have witnessed a plethora of “cool” trends come and go. I just had to shake my head and smile, while thinking, “You all will look back on this one day and think “What were we thinking?”” Now having 2 teenage daughters, I get to see all this firsthand in my house – as they teach our 3 year old as well : )

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  2. Pingback: Commentition Jovial January 2017 | I Read Encyclopedias for Fun

    • I don’t get twerking. I’m pretty sure it started as just a dance move somewhere down south (Central/South America) but it’s turned into more than just a dance move. Dabbing just looks funny, but no worse than some of the ridiculous dance moves we (I) used to come up with…

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  3. I grew up in Colorado while my husband grew up in California. We learned different sayings in school; isn’t that funny? To promote unity, we created our own language of Bokononism when our son was born. That’s what school is–Bokonomism. I watched a video where someone asked what is the purpose of school. I will tell you. School is to learn how to socialize and to have fun; academics is a side effect. So if your son is learning how to flip and dab and that he is hot both ways, then I’m with you and say “Thank you, school.”

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    • As annoying as we adults might think they are, they are totally harmless and make the kids feel good. They could be doing far worse than flipping bottles and busting out a dance move. I totally see the social aspect, and they’re doing what they need to do in order to fit in and make friends. One should never let their schooling get in the way of their education (Mark Twain)

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      • So true.

        On Sat, Jan 14, 2017 at 5:48 PM, All In A Dad’s Work wrote:

        > stomperdad commented: “As annoying as we adults might think they are, they > are totally harmless and make the kids feel good. They could be doing far > worse than flipping bottles and busting out a dance move. I totally see the > social aspect, and they’re doing what they need to do” >

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  4. Hahaha, this post. Little Man introduced me to bottle flipping a couple weeks ago. and I’m not the most coordinated person ever with *some* things, but I nailed the hell of that. Seven times out of 10, including one on the lid. I was given the title of “coolest mom ever” and asked to go on his field trip so he can show everyone.

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  5. Hehehehe! You’ll see more “cool” things ahead and remember take pictures so you can embarass the hell out of them later. :p
    Damn..I must be old. I can’t think of what’s cool when I was growing up. No wait..I thought retro was always cool. And belly piercing…still cool! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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