Be Hated

Sometimes you have to stand your ground. Fight for what you believe in. Speak your opinion when your opinion is warranted.  Even if it means pissing some people off.

This was the gist of Adrian Tan’s convocation address  ( I found it through Derek Muller’s YouTube video, Be Hated.

Essentially, they’re telling us that we’ll have our own opinions, our own methods, our own reason for doing what  we do. Sometimes it won’t mesh with other’s opinions, methods, and reasoning. does that mean we should change?

Hell no. Be you.

I’ll be me.

You chose to breastfeed or chose to bottle feed. You chose to public school or private school or homeschool. You chose not to limit screen time or to limit it or to not allow it at all. You chose to stay at home or to go to work. You chose the sadan or the minivan or the SUV. Somebody, somewhere will hate you for your choice.

They’re not you. It wasn’t their choice to make.

I think this easiliy applies to our kids. If we don’t piss them off sometimes, we’re not doing our job as parents. I do that every night with 3 little words, “It is bedtime.” I’m not saying we need to always piss them off. There’s no need to create a battle where a battle isn’t needed. However, if you make a decision in the best interest of your children you need to stick with it regardless of how unpopular it is with the lolipop gang. There comes a time when we have to be judge and jury, not a friend. It doesn’t mean we don’t love them in that moment. It does mean we do love them because we are caring about their well-being and are seeing to to it that we follow through.

“It is bedtime because I said so” is sometimes a sufficient arguement. Of course, you give them the whole explanation. Just don’t let it turn into a negotiation. My kids love a good negotiation like Danny Roman and Chris Sabian.

Go out and do well.

Go out and do good.

Go out and be hated (but don’t be a jerk).


38 thoughts on “Be Hated

  1. Pingback: About Wanting To Do The Right Thing | A Momma's View

  2. Very true. Mine hate me when I tell them that it’s enough with their digital games… but hey, I know they love me still… I think sometimes it’s okay to be disliked or hated. It shows that you are not just following the masses… that you stick to what you believe it right.


  3. Our kids will hate us until they’ve kids of their own. BF or not BF is the mother’s choice,sry rant here. When I had my son I tried oh boy did I try but I also had low iron, high blood pressure and anxiety of being a new mommy my body couldn’t produce, my MIL n SIL pushed me to BF so I took my son to the ped for his 7 day follow up and I literally cried to my dr about BF I just couldn’t and he said if I’m that stressed then go to formula but he encourages his BF mamas to continue but he eas fine with my choice and guess what my son is still ALIVE!!!! It’s none of anyone’s business how I feed dress or raise my son back of people. Nice mama no more!


  4. I love that you wrote this. It’s awful when the Parenting Police try to tell you how to raise your own kids. And I love that you use a line that I used many many times — a line I swore I would never use! — “because I said so” Perfect!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Alice! I don’t use that line much, but it has been used from time to time. Sometimes they get me so frazzled that I can’t think of a better argument fast enough and that’s what comes out. The Parenting Police can take a long walk off a short pier 🙂


  5. So true! I sometimes feel that my son hates me for the decisions I make but 9 times out of 10 he thanks me later or at least agrees that I was right! I’m sure we will butt heads as he hits his teens but I’d rather do the right thing and be hated for it! #fabfridaypost

    Liked by 1 person

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  7. Oh my it’s all so true! Today my toddler hated me because I didn’t let her bring her blanket to daycare… yesterday because I asked her to not hug baby sister too hard, especially around her neck… the list goes on…


  8. My only defense, since I was basically a marshmallow when it came to enforcing rules, especially with my “devil child” who knew from the very beginning how to argue me around in circles while trying to negotiate to get what she wanted, was just to tell her that “the world does not revolve around Tracy” and “the world does not run on Tracy time.” Of course, I won’t say how many times I reached the point of tears, physically harming inanimate objects, or trying to hide from her, before I could calm myself enough to use this one and only tool at my disposal. I still have to do that occasionally, even though she is now 25 years old and about to enter medical school The other side of this coin is that, to my knowledge, she has never tried to manipulate anyone besides me like that, and is generally logical and low key around everyone else. And, thank God, my other daughter is a “mini-me” so I have always known how to handle her.


    • Kids do this to us. I’ve thrown a thing or two (certainly not at anyone) in frustration. Sounds like you’ve done something right and she’s successfully making her way into the world. As a med-student nonetheless!


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