Questions I Asked My Kids

1 Do you want to go kayaking today?

Crash: Most definitely.
Bang: Yes. Most definitely, too.
DW: Yes, but I’m going to work. Of course, I’d rather kayak!

2 Why do wasps sting?

Crash: They sting when they get angry and they so they can defend themselves.
Bang: To protect theirselfs.
DW: Because they’re buzzy bastards

3 Why do geese fly south for the winter?

Crash: Because it gets cold and they like to be in warmer places.
Bang: Because they only like warm places. The cold places make them turn into icebergs and they don’t like that.
DW: Because the weather vane tells them to (I once had one of my 4th grade students tell me this)

4 What is your Minecraft name?

Crash: StopperRhyRhy
Bang: Bang45
DW: N/A

5 What song will you request to hear in the truck?

Crash: Titanium
Bang: Don’t Mine At Night
DW: Cheerleader

6 What superpower do you want?

Crash: The ability to go into a video game and to teleport.
Bang: Firehand so fire comes out of one hand and a waterhand so water comes out of the other.
DW: Fix all of the world’s problems.

7 What three words would you use to describe dad?

Crash: Fun, Helpful (a useful engine), The best
Bang: Love, So awesome, Cool, Smart like a dump truck (thanks for that DW)
DW: Nice bum, Annoying, My bestest friend

8 What three words would you use to describe mom?

Crash: Lovey, Funny, Late for work (she is today!)
Bang: My best friend, Love, The best
DW: Intellegent, Kind, Beautiful, Stupendous
Me: Nice boobs, Frustratingly intellegent, My best friend

9 Where is your favorite place in the word?

Crash: Virginia, which is where we used to live.
Bang: If it’s a hot day, I’ll say the splash pad.
DW: Cape Breton Island

10 What do mom and dad do when you two aren’t here?

Crash: You build Lego or drink beer (then mumbles, “no, just kidding”)
Bang: Clean the house.
DW: I don’t kiss and tell…teeheehee… kidding… we usually just sit and enjoy the silence

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