Go Ask Your Father: Blogging, Pigeons, Orange Balls and Slowness

We’re into the full swing of summer now. Well, unless you’re part of my harem who lives in Australia or South Africa or anywhere else south of Earth’s midriff. The kids have been home for a month now. I hope no one has gone to the beautiful, sandy beaches to drown the children who have been more abrasive than sand in your hoo-ha. Or taken a relaxing walk through serene forest in hopes they get eaten by a bear. Or just hung them from the clothesline to earn a few minutes peace and quiet. Hang in there. We’re not even half way through yet!

*Disclaimer: I’m only joking. I love my kids dearly and would never do anything to bring them harm. Piss them off, yes. But not harm them.

Can I write a blog?

Of course you can, Crash74. But you’ll have to write it on paper first. I know it’s not fair. I know I just type mine without writing it first. You need to practice your printing though. Sometimes you can’t even read your own writing. So get your post written nice and neat and then you can type it on your blog. We’ll edit and fix your mistakes before you push that blue publish button (use one space after a period). I wish I had someone edit my posts before I decided to publish so quickly. Your first two posts were fun! Keep it up! By the way, he took the picture and made it his profile picture entirely on his own.

Do pigeons bite?

DW and I took the boys to listen to some live music down at the waterfront. One of the guys in the band grew up with DW’s brother, so they go way back. While we were there the boys discovered a determined pigeon. This pigeon’s determination ranks up there Rocky Balboa’s when he was in training for his fight against Apollo. This pigeon was collecting crumbs from the BBQs that had be held there for the past couple days. Oh, and the beer bash that took place the night before. Drunk people apparently drop tons of food. This pigeon would run away from the boys, but not before letting them get within inches of it. I think they even petted its back once. Having a bird of our own (a Quaker Parrot) the boys know birds bite. However, a pigeon’s bite isn’t so fearsome. While they do bite, it’s more of a sharp poke compared to the flesh piercing bite Piper dishes out. Had the waterfront pigeon bitten them they would have known it, but they would have been okay.

What are the orange balls on the wires for? 

That’s how you know the wires are males – they have balls. They’re big balls, too, weighing roughly seventeen pounds. Imagine those cajones. If yours are orange, though, you might want to see a doctor. The balls on the lines are orange so they are easily visible to low flying aircraft like small planes and helicopters. It also makes them more visible to birds. Other forms of increasing power line visibility include coils and hanging markers. They work much the same way as putting stickers on windows makes them more visible and thereby reduces the number of collisions. After all, the birds were here first.

Coil

Hanging Marker

 

Why does she have to go slow? She’ not allowed to run!

This question came from the smallest curious monkey. Nanny had just gotten home from the hospital that day. She’d had a surgery that they estimated to have a 5-6 recovery time. She ended up needing a second surgery. She also ended up being in for six weeks. She was relaxing in her rocker with her feet up on a stool. When she got up it was in slow motion and Bang wasn’t used to her moving that slow. Granted, Nanny doesn’t move quite like Usain Bolt, the fastest man alive, but she gets to where she needs to go. We explained “Nanny just got home from the hospital and having two surgeries so she’s still a little sore.” “Oh.” he replied. “She’s not allowed to run!”

PS. If you’re interested in a new blog challenge, check this one out. It’s bound to be a dandy!