A Literal Comparison Between Parenting and Writing

chocolate milk bubbles

This has no relevance. I just like it.

Writing.

Sometimes the words work.

Sometimes they don’t.

It’s like saying please when you ask nicely for something. Sometimes you get it, sometimes you don’t. There’s no rhyme nor reason when it will work and it when it won’t. It either does or it doesn’t.

I’ve sat down at this keyboard a dozen times today wondering what to tell you fine readers. I know you’re itching, on the edge of your seats, pacing the floor just waiting for my next bit of wisdom like we did before The Force Awakened. Here it is. Prepare yourself.

Writing is like parenting. Sometimes you play, sometimes you discipline. Sometimes the play is fun, sometimes the discipline doesn’t work and you sit and wonder why you even bother.

death starBecause hindsight is 20/20 or better I only recommend looking back when you’ve put enough distance between yourself and the last time you looked. Otherwise it’s like trying to see how big the Death Star is while piloting the Meridian Trench. You need to give the patterns time to develop, time to extend themselves. Why didn’t a “time out” work that time? It worked last time. Why weren’t the ideas flowing that time? They flowed last time.

Because a five year old’s mood is a trampoline. Up down up down up down. We could be
doing flips and twists and pikes and pucks on a toddler’s mood. Good luck reasoning with them after you put their chocolate milk in the red cup instead of the blue one. Because the muse that moves the words from mind to fingertip is as touchy. She (I’m wholly convinced it’s a she, but not because of the moods) can dam the flow of ideas like the great, industrious Canadian Beaver. Then your writing is damned. You’ll be left staring a blinking cursor. I’m telling you man, every third blink is slower.cursor1

Because when you feel like you’ve got nothing right as a parent, you wonder why you even wanted to be one in the first place, you just need a vacation from those energy siphoning parasites. After they’ve been at each other’s throats all day, when one even goes so far as to bite, you know it’s time for a throw down. The gloves come off and heads will roll. You throw a Hail Mary in the final seconds and pray it works. You sit them side by side and you start yapping, hoping what you’re saying is both making sense and sinking in. Verbal diarrhoea. Suddenly you’re up to 502 words and kind of like what you’ve managed to come up with for not being able to think of anything to write. Suddenly it’s bedtime and you kind of like the sweet silence because it means you earned a reward for adulting; second dessert that you don’t have to share and a bottle of wine because you didn’t kill the kids today.

Congratulations on not killing the kids. Enjoy your reward to its fullest.

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24 thoughts on “A Literal Comparison Between Parenting and Writing

  1. Hey Eric! So, I was just strolling around the wide blogosphere of writers, and wanted to know if you were interested in participating in a blogging/writing collaboration-journey-adventure in the somewhat near future with me and a few other bloggers. I can’t say too much about it right now – the details are TOP SECRET – but it will basically be a short-term, not-too-labor-intensive, super-mega-fun creative project that will have everyone else be like “damn, why didn’t I sign up to be a part of this project when they asked me to?” If you’re interested, reply here and/or drop me a line at jacobh1021 at yahoo dot com. Cheers!

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  2. Red cup blue cup…lol…sounds very familiar. Even same colour ones are a problem as they still find fault with the one they have and will be at each other’s throat. Why…??? Thus, verbal diarrhoea ensues. 😊
    But the sweet silence of bedtime is a pleasure. I look forward to that everyday!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Couldn’t agree more with you. Writing and parenting is dealing with temperamental things… And in regards to the reward: On some days we so need it…

    That cursor is mean, by the way… it mocks me too 🙂

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  4. Haha I love the quote at the end! I just tried to eat a hidden snack before they went to bed and was royally rumbled snaffling a Wispa. My three year old instructed me to “Open your mouth!” while the two year old sniffed it for chocolate. Kids hey? Fab post though, the comparison is great!! #fabfridaypost

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    • Thanks Laura! Sometimes even our most clandestine missions to indulge are foiled. The safest time is after bedtime, of course. But some days there’s no way we could ever wait that long! Thanks for stopping by!

      Liked by 1 person

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  6. lol! This is so hilarious! “You throw a Hail Mary in the final seconds and pray it works.” & “Verbal diarrhoea”. OMG! I can not stop laughing. I so needed this after last night, my kids were just a royal pain in the a**. Thank you again Eric for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost I look forward to reading your next wisdom words. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Glad it helped brighten your long day. It was after one of those long days here that I wrote it. To entertain themselves they fought. I was ready to send them to bed at 3pm. Thanks for the link up!

      Liked by 1 person

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