In case you missed yesterday’s post about the war between the Bees and the Grass Goblins, check it out here. It’s a fun little story I made up for Bang while we were out playing in the backyard. It’s so fun playing with their imagination. And if any of you are artists and would like create the Grass Goblin from the story, that would be totally awesome and I would be totally grateful!
While yesterday’s story was purely fiction, today’s is true. As most of you know by now, Crash has a YouTube channel. He uses it share his Lego creations. I use it to show short clips of fun things we do. Anyway, he got his first troll last week. Whether it was an actual internet troll (not an under-the-bridge troll) or just a rude viewer, he got his first negative comment for this video – Building Lego Minifigures.
Crash doesn’t know about these comments. While he does have an email address his comments get shipped to, he rarely checks it. I saw the email and deleted it. I will show him the comments. It’s definitely a learning experience. He hasn’t been swayed. He still wants to make more LEGO creations to make videos about. He currently has two waiting for me upload, as a matter of fact.
Part of me wants to delete the comments.
Part of me wants to respond them. I’m sorry their life has led them to be so low as to have to respond negatively to an eight year’s YouTube video about LEGO. They must be proud of themselves (note sarcasm).
Part of me want show them to Crash and allow him to decide what would be the right thing to do. Leave them as is, delete them, or allow him to respond as he sees fit. I don’t want him to get discouraged, but at the same time he needs to learn how to accept things like this.
It wasn’t until just now, during the writing of this post last night, while capturing the screen shot of the comments that I noticed how many views that video has. He’ll be stoked when I show him that stat!
If you were his parent, how would you handle these comments? Would you respond to them yourself? Would you delete them? Would you show them? Would you allow them to respond? Let me know in the comments below.
photo credit: allposters.com
All In A Dad's Work 
Part of the reason I didn’t let White Fang have an account until he was old enough to handle this crap. It makes me furious. If it was me – as the parent – I would delete the comments, and then put a notice on the page – “all mean comments will be removed” – like White Fang did last summer.
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Unfortunately, a really nasty one came last night. I deleted it have no intention of telling Crash about it. I like the disclaimer idea… give warning that meanness will be deleted. Thanks!
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You’re welcome. Hope it works! It seems to have made a difference for White Fang. And he’s very lucky to have built up a good community, with a lot of support.
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i think your quote at the bottom says it all.
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I’ve always loved that quote. I made it into a poster for my classroom door when I taught 4th grade. “It was never between you and them anyway” gets me every time. We do this for us, not for them.
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I think you’re handling it perfectly, as did your friend Daley above.
Different but similar, I had a horrible experience on here recently. I’ve been doing this for 6 years, posting all manner of pics of my kids. Some sicko made some sexually graphic comments about my 5 yo (!) daughter. Fortunately I have to approve all comments so it didn’t immediately post publicly. This monster did this several times. I could also tell several pictures were getting unusually high hits. I deleted those. I finally included a post script on a post directed at this person that I would report him to the appropriate authorities. It was horrible. I almost shut my page down. But then I figured I couldn’t let some perverted bastard take something away from me that I enjoy. I am much more mindful, however, of what pictures I post. It’s one thing to attack an adult – we can defend ourselves – but a kid??
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That’s a really tough one. You handled it right, too. Thank God, the sickos are about 1-2% of what we’ll encounter in this type of setup.
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I’m always careful about what I post on both FB and my blog (moreso my blog, but still…). That’s a creeptastic story. Thanks for sharing. Smart of you to see that certain pics were getting unusually high views. Glad you found an alternative solution to shutting your page down.
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I think his response would be “whatever”, but given the prevalence of social media/instant feedback on most things kids contact these days it’s a good lesson in how to handle these to share them and then discuss taking the high road from there.
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Hopefully that’ll be the lesson he learns. Comments like that are just for attention and if given the attention they’ll continue to be nasty. We can take the high road by ignoring it and deleting it. They have nothing to fight with if we don’t fight back.
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that’s a tough one, because it’s my instinct to protect them from negative things…however….. they also have to learn that there ARE negative things, and people in life. And when we choose to do something and put it OUT THERE….for everyone, it opens us up to negative comments as well as positive. These aren’t too bad, I think I’d let him see them, and I’d also give my own theory that with popularity, comes trolls They don’t bother you, or find you if no one is watching, right? Now he’s “made it” on youtube 🙂 Good luck to him and I hope he keeps doing what he enjoys 🙂
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Your boys are not my children and yet I want to go out there and slap those idiots. Okay, so it’s said. Now: Unfortunately there are people out there who have nothing better to do than writing mean, meaningless comments instead of creating something themselves. My thing is: If you really don’t like it that much, then just don’t comment and don’t come back. As simple as that. If you want to comment on something you don’t like than at least make your comment a meaningful one. Maybe with some advice? I think I would filter out the comments too. It’s for sure important for the kids to realize that there are people out there who will not play nice. But I think they do not have to see the really hurtful comments just yet. Too young for that… they can deal with it when their layers are stronger…
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Well said! Constructive criticism goes much farther and is better accepted than outright hatefulness. I was baffled when I saw the comments (a far worse one was sent just after after I wrote this post). I’m with you in the “if you like let them know, if you don’t then don’t come back” method. He didn’t make them watch the video, they chose to. What’s the point of leaving hurtful words? For now I’ll just explain that some people aren’t nice and we need to ignore what they say because they don’t know us or care about us. Then I’ll teach him how to delete comments.
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Good on you
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Wow. Assholes.
With LM’s blog (which he has hardly posted on), I have comments set to moderation and check them myself and haven’t given him access to his email yet. I don’t think anything explicit could get through the filter, but didn’t want to take the chance.
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Upon double checking, his youtube page comments get sent to me. The only way he’d see them is if went to his videos. He typically doesn’t watch his own videos. Good idea moderating LM’s blog. Crash set up a WP site but hasn’t written anything yet and that was 2 weeks ago.
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If he ever gets on it (and LM sticks with it) maybe they could be blogging buddies 😀
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They could be for sure! Their stories are already similar enough 🙂
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While it’s sad (had to edit that word) this happened, I would use it as a teaching experience. Children need to learn that the internet provides an amazing way to connect with the world and an equally tragic way for the mean spirited to take aim at someone without having to reveal themselves. Lucky for your kid, you pay attention to what they are doing. Keep up the good work.
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I was a bit taken aback when I read the first comment. Then there were two more after that! (There was another comment made after wrote this post that was pretty much as vulgar and mean as one could be which my son will never see). I fully agree with you. The internet is a great place to connect with others. I’ve met some great people through blogging. But it does open the doors to those who are nothing but malicious. Thanks for stopping by!
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I have a simple mantra: Never ever feed the trolls. Not even a scrap. They will come back to check for replies and notice if the comment is deleted; and probably leave another one. Or, if you block – they will come back as a new user. Worst case scenario; you’re in a troll war! Ugh. Nope. Not a scrap for you, not one. Unless I could actually toss them a bigger life.
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I deleted on because it was vulgar and mean and not something an 8 year should see. The mean ones I left. Good point about feeding them. It’ll just encourage them to come back for more.
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Throlls are thrills and are inherently annoying. I think u handled it well. I’d filter the vulgarity especially out and mean ones that personally attacks. Yet I think I’ll let them know the negative ones and use it as an opportunity to let the kids be aware that negativity exists and what matters is how u respond (or not). The negative ones I’ll turn it as “feedback” and throw back to the throll nicely on how he thinks we can improve. After all, isn’t getting constructive feedback valuable? 😜 not that they hv to be acted upon all the time. That said, I agree not to ever feed the throlls – such a waste of energy!
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Thanks! Great minds think alike 🙂 Any kind of response to a troll is adding fuel to a fire. Once they know they have an audience there is no stopping them.
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This just makes me sad. I like the ‘notice’ suggestion in the very first comment.
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I like it too. I have a few videos to upload for him. I’ll be adding that “notice” while I’m there.
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