Go Ask Your Father: Vocal Cords, Knives, Mississippi, and Police in a Hurry

Another week has passed us by. If you missed the questions my kids answered last night you can catch it here. While there you can leave a question you’d like me to ask them in the comment section. Just remember, they’re 4 and 8.

The only news I have this week is my Orioles lost Dexter Fowler to the Cubs. He was going to be our right fielder. I’m still waiting to be called up. I’ll play if they need me. I’m not sure they’re that desperate, yet.

The Force Awakens was not nominate for Best Picture at the Oscars. Not sure who made that call, but I’m guessing they don’t have a job any more.

On to the questions…

1. What’s a jackknife?

It’s either A) when a tractor trailer turns too far in an uncontrolled skid or it’s B) a knife with a folding blade. Since we’re reading Bud, Not Buddy and Bud sleeps with an open jackknife, using context clues I know it’s option B, a knife. Not be confused with the switchblade made famous by Bernardo when he accidentally killed Riff and when Tony used Riff’s to kill Bernardo. That’s a whole other Westside Story. A switchblade is spring loaded so it will open quickly with the push of a button. A jackknife opens manually. Perhaps the Sharks and the Jets would have survived if they used jackknives. Tempers would have cooled by the time they were peeled open.

2. How long is the Mississippi?

It’s exactly 11 letters long. But I’m guessing he wasn’t referring to the word. Again, another question from Bud, Not Buddy – a story about a 10 year old black boy set in Flint, Michigan in 1932, during the Great Depression. They were going to hop a train and cross the Mighty Mississip on their way to California. The river itself flows for 2,350 miles (3,782 km) from  it’s head in Lake Itasca, Minnesota to it’s delta in Baton Rouge and New Orleans, Louisiana. It also made this writer, Mark Twain, famous when he set most of his stories along it.

3. What if police get a red light and can’t go in a hurry?

That would be good for daddy because a police officer can’t pull me over if they’re sitting at a red light. If only that were true. Knock on wood, I’ve only been pulled over for speeding twice in my life. Cops, generally don’t stop at red lights when they’re in a hurry. Their lights are flashing, their siren is blaring, and people know they’re coming fast so those cops in a hurry have the right of way. Much like you’re father does when he’s headed to the bathroom.

4. Where are your local cords?

What he meant to ask about were vocal cords. Turns out, they’re more like vocal folds, not cords. The folds are part of the larynx and they’re in your throat. If you put a couple fingers against your throat, your adam’s apple if you can find it, and say AHHHHH you can feel it vibrate. Bang knows all about the word vibrate thanks to Cookie Monster. It’s actually quite comical.


When I ask him if he can feel his throat vibrate when he says AHHH, he knows exactly what it means and tells me, “Yes”. Those are your vocal cords you’re feeling, buddy.

A few minutes later he’s playing with one of his trucks on the laminate floor and he can feel the floor vibrating as he pushed the truck. Not missing a chance to use this new big word, he tells us “This truck is my vibrator.”

How could we not laugh?



12 thoughts on “Go Ask Your Father: Vocal Cords, Knives, Mississippi, and Police in a Hurry

    • He’s a funny one. I’m still laughing at it. I forgot to make a note of what he said then subsequently forgot. I was trying for the life of me to remember and then he asked “where are your local cords” and it all came back to me 🙂


  1. Dexter Fowler used to play for the Rockies, and was good, so clearly he had to go.

    Do Canadian cops give out tickets, or just ask if you could please drive slower?

    Local chords are better for the environment, much as organic ear drums and locally-sourced optic nerves.


    • Apparently there was clause in the contract he didn’t like and the O’s weren’t budging on it. And according to his agent he was never close to signing.

      They do give out tickets, but they apologize before hand.

      Local, organic anything is better, right? Outsourced and imported organs just aren’t the same.


  2. Pingback: Go Ask Your Father: Prodigies, Sloppiness, Rabbits, and Rocket Boosters | All In A Dad's Work

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