Eli, the Coach Daddy, started a questions page over on his blog titled What would you ask of a boy. He was simply asking people to ask him “boy” questions because actually being a boy qualifies him to answer such questions.
So, to help him out, I typed “Why do boys” into Google so it could take a guess at what I was going to ask. It did a pretty good job. It came up with some good questions. I’m here to answer them for you in as a PG-13 way as I can. Because I’m a boy. I’m not sure what Google is.
1. Why do boys have nipples
According to IFLS, all babies begin life as a female embryo. If a Y chromosome is present then that chromosome (or a gene on that chromosome) limits the breast development to just a nipple. This doesn’t happen until the 4th week of gestation. So we both get nipples but only females get developed.
I think it’s so we don’t look weird. It’s so, as toddlers, we can pretend to be mommies with baby dolls. Also, they work as thermometers letting us know when it gets cold. While not entirely useful, they’re not as completely useless as the screen door on a submarine. Back hair? Now that’s completely useless.
2. Why do boys like girls?
Google didn’t have an answer to this one. It answered “what do boy like about girls”. Close, but no cigar. I think from an evolutionary stand point, boys like girls because that’s how we keep the world populated. Unfortunately, that’s how the world will get over populated too. But really, we probably like girls because they have better nipples. Nipple envy.
But I also know that not all boys like girls. Some boys like boys. Maybe that’s why boys have nipples. So the boys who like boys won’t be nipple envious of the boys who like girls have nipple envy.
3. Why do boys like breasts?
When they were young toddlers, both of my sons would put their hands down the shirt or up a sleeve of the person who was holding them. They loved to feel skin on skin. Occasionally, that hand would find its way in their mother’s bra. It was comforting to them. And warm.
Breasts are the givers of life, sustaining our children in the first six months to year of their lives. They’re packed with all those minerals, nutrients, and antibiotics. We look at children’s mother and see the bond they form during feeding time. Envious? Even when they aren’t in use as a food supply boys are looking for one.
Also, because we don’t have them.
*Sidenote: Men can get breast cancer, too. However, they account for only 1% of all breast cancer cases.
Boys are such weird creatures. Does anyone really know why they like what they like? Might as well try to solve the Bermuda Triangle mystery.