Good Enough

So I’ve been thinking lately, how good is good enough? How much is too much? How much is not enough? What’s “just right”? Is there even such a thing as just right? How do I know when I’ve crossed any of these lines?

Parenting is a tough task. There are manuals and instruction books. There are internet articles describing personal opinions. There are some scientific studies. There are guidelines. But really, is there any one right answer?

There are books about how to get your baby to sleep. Guidelines about what and how much your kid should be eating and drinking. There are recommendations about exercise and screen time and time spent reading. There are suggestions about potty training and breast feeding and what to pack for their school lunch. There are also some pretty strong opinions about what not to feed your kids. But how do we know what’s right?

Some say there is no such thing as perfect. There is no perfect parent. I beg to differ. I say if you’re kids are happy, healthy, and educated, you are the perfect parent. Here’s how to tell what’s right for your kid. You take all of those of opinions, guidelines, suggestions, studies, and recommendations and toss them right out the window. On a busy highway. With lots of transfer trucks. Or you could drown those ideologies in the ocean. Or burn them in wood stove. Or an active volcano.

There really is no exact right. There is no one size fits all. Especially in parenting. There certainly is a wrong, of course. But perfect is whatever works for your kid. How we got our kids to sleep all night will be different from what others do. How could one book instruct us all? How we got our sons potty trained is different from how others will do it. And I’m not even going to get started on that lactation consultant who attempted to help DW in hospital.

So how much is too much? How much is not enough?

How do I know we’re perfect parents? Because we doubt ourselves nearly every step of the way. We question ourselves… What the hell are we doing wrong? We question the kids… What the hell is wrong with them?

So, how good is good enough? How much is too much? How much is not enough? What’s “just right”? Is there even such a thing as just right? How do I know when I’ve crossed any of these lines? That’s for us to decide for ourselves. We have put aside what the “experts” say because they are not experts on our kids. We are. We live with the heathens which makes us the experts on our kids. No one knows them like we do.  We have discovered “too much” and it ain’t pretty. We have found “not enough” and it’s uglier than a blobfish. We found our perfect and it works, well… perfectly.

Did I write this just to make myself feel adequate? Most likely. Are we perfect parents? Damn straight we are.


7 thoughts on “Good Enough

  1. So true. When someone asks me for parenting advice, I always make sure to add that this worked for us. I mean, perfect parenting is even relative between the kids. What our girl expects and needs from us is So Different from what our boy requires. Out of three different parenting books and dozens of articles, I say my hubby and I have gleaned two gems. Everything is trial and error, and we do our best to keep a comic light at the end of our child-reering tunnel. What an unforgettable experience.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Here here. I can quote more than one “expert” study that would tell you that my little missy DEFINITELY MUST have developed an attention deficit problem by now and that there’s no way she’s getting enough sleep, but guess what? She’s happy, healthy, and smart as a whip. So take your expert studies and shove ’em. XD

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love this! You are so spot on–it’s so easy to get caught up in the mistakes, comparing ourselves with others, etc. But at the end of the day, we do have reasonably happy, healthy, and educated kids. 🙂

    And that mention of your wife’s lactation consultant made me crack up thinking at how I was manhandled when I was in the hospital for BG. Made me think how if anyone else barged in and whipped out a breast that they’d be arrested.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, my wife’s lactation consultant had all these ideas and all it was doing was frustrating my wife. After the consultant left she figured out what worked best. It It’s easy to get caught up comparing ourselves (and kids) to each other.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: September in Review | All In A Dad's Work

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