I’ve seen a lot of posts recently about parents not being perfect and doing what they think is right and everyone else be damned for judging.
Well, guess what?
I am perfect.
I don’t make mistakes. I have “happy accidents” (thanks Bob Ross).
Once you realize that what you do (for yourself and your child) is what you have decided is best for you and the child is what’s right, not a mistake. Sure you may come across a technique that works better than others. The time out that works for child A, child B laughs at. Child A’s reward jar is overflowing while child B’s is, and always will be, empty. Maybe you’ve tried a hundred different motivators and punishments and encouragements to find the one that works. Are the ninety-nine failures mistakes?
I compare it to the science fair projects that I taught to 4th graders for 6 years. Before the experiment was done the student(s) needed to be sure that their experiment was valid; is it testing the problem you are trying to solve? Much like I do as a dad. Will this punishment stop him/ them from doing whatever it they just did? Like when Crash emptied the bathtub water on to the floor while pretending to be Shamu. Will this reward help teach him to clean his messes? In science, there are no wrong answers. A hypothesis is true or false- not right or wrong (it took him 10 minutes and 3 giant pool towels to clean the bathroom mess and he still won’t clean his other messes). If your hypothesis was true, then you proved what you were testing. If it was false then what you thought would happen, didn’t. In parenting, when that happens, make sure you try something DIFFERENT next time. Insanity is doing the same thing you did before but expecting a different outcome
As parents we’re often too close to insanity to begin with.
Parenting is trial and error (mostly error) until you figure out what works.
It’s not right and wrong.
It’s not black and white. Sometimes it’s VERY colorful all over the walls. Sometimes it’s purplish and they have no idea how they got that bruise.
It is doing the best you can.
It is about making “happy accidents”.
Now go be perfect.
Just like me (and my wife, the mother of my children, the keeper of reason and logic and the middle of the bed).